Unbidden Memories
by lalaluu
Summary: Severus Snape has some memories he'd rather forget. Continued Occlumency lessons with his least favorite student and the appearance of a total stranger who seems too familiar thwart his efforts to repress them. Now AU!
1. Prologue

**_Unbidden Memories_**

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies. _Sorry for those who wanted an update for Tristessa. I'm stuck on that one (bet you don't believe me with that last cliffie I gave you). So here's some new fodder for you to throw back at me...

_Prologue_

Snape sighed as he restored the memories from his pensieve. The renewed Occlumency lessons with Potter were going better now that the boy had finally taken the task seriously. Pity that it had taken him losing his godfather to change his mind. Despite Potter having seen into his pensieve the year before, Snape still withdrew his memories, now adding the most precious and personal ones. Last year, the boy had been inept at the art and was only likely to see his foremost thoughts. As a matter of course, when around the boy, Snape could only think of his father and his father's friends – the Marauders. Such an erroneous nickname. Snape rather thought that a more fitting name would have been the "Murderers" as such was what they had tried to do to him.

Now that Potter was gaining skill in Occlumency, Dumbledore had asked that he be taught Legilimency as a counterpoint. Snape had balked at first, although not aloud. Around Dumbledore, one didn't actually have to say something to be heard, especially since the two had known each other for quite some time. Afraid more that Potter would see his deepest, darkest and, more importantly, most personal memories, Snape had opted to return to keeping his memories in a Pensieve. He did not bother to remove memories that Potter had already seen – the ones concerning his parents – but the ones he did not want to see himself, if given the choice. The problem was that Legilimency left one no choice and Snape did not want to see...

The man shuddered as the last memory slipped back into his mind. Closing his eyes, he carefully repressed the memories as far back in his mind as he could. Unfortunately, a side-effect of the pensieve was that previously long-buried memories would not stay as deeply buried as they had been before placement in the pensieve. In other words, the memories tended to float nearer to the surface. Snape sighed as he opened his eyes. That at least explained the content of his most recent dreams.


	2. I'm Off!

**_Unbidden Memories_**

**_by lalaluu_**

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies_. So here's the first chapter after a short prologue. I already have two more chapters written (see why I wanted to write this instead of Tristessa? I tell you I'm stuck over there!), so please review to let me know if you, my wonderful and patient readers, would like more. Thanks!

**_Chapter 1 _**

**I'm Off!**

"Mom!"

"In here, Andrew!"

"Hey!" said the boy, arriving slightly out of breath. "What're you making?"

"Spaghetti."

"Good. I'm starved." His mother raised her eyebrow questioningly. The boy smiled. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. When am I not hungry?"

"Exactly," his mother deadpanned.

The boy plopped down at the table. "Don't you wanna know why I'm home so early?"

"Hmm, let me guess." The woman stirred the sauce on the stovetop.

"Well?"

"The library caught on fire and they had to kick you out."

The boy laughed, shaking his head.

"Let's see. I know, you were hit over the head by a brick falling from a construction site – which you got too close to – and have totally forgotten where the library is located?"

"Mom...," the boy whined.

Turning, the woman studied her son. The youth was no more than 16 and was lanky. He had her hazel eyes and her hair, a light brown with honeyed highlights. His height came from his father. The woman grimaced at that last thought and then shrugged, "You've won a Nobel prize already?"

The boy's grin grew. "Nope, but close! I'm going to be an exchange student!"

"What?!"

Andrew gulped. Sometimes it was a bad idea to spring things on his mother. It wasn't that she had a temper, just definite ideas about the world. Andrew had learned most of her idiosyncrasies and hadn't told her about applying to be an exchange student because she wouldn't have approved in the beginning. Now that there was no way out of it, he had some trepidation in telling her, but he thought the opportunity was worth dealing with his mother's wrath.

"It's at Hogwart's, Mom. In England. So I'll still be around English speakers and, well, it's the best magical school in the world!"

"It's also the absolute last place in the world that I would send my son!"

"Why!" Andrew had stood and was now looking down on his mother, challenging her.

"You know exactly why. You read the newspapers, too."

"I know, Mom, but I'll be 17 by the time I go and that's legal age in England."

"You're not British!"

"Yeah, but you don't have to be a resident of a place to be considered..."

"Your logic is flawed. You will still be a minor according to American laws, the British know this, they'll know your American, and they will uphold our interpretation of legal age in respect to you."

Andrew sighed. He could rarely out-talk his mother in a logic argument.

"But I _want_ to go."

The woman smiled. "I know." She reached up and touched his cheek, wondering where sixteen years had gone. Pulling him into a hug, she murmured, "I would just miss you so much." Andrew smiled, but before he could say "I'll miss you, too, Mom", his mother had pulled away saying, "The spaghetti will be ready soon so go wash up." Instead, Andrew said, "Okay, Mom," kissed her on the cheek and loped upstairs to the bathroom.

The woman smiled at the sauce.

* * *

"So you're going?"

"Yeah."

"When?"

"September first."

"Oh, yeah."

"Well, that's when I have to have everything packed and ready to go in London."

"Mmmhmm."

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I...I'll write."

Andrew's mom looked up from her spaghetti. "Of course you will."

When she went back to eating, he asked, "You're not mad at me, are you?"

"Mad? No. Upset? Yes, definitely." Andrew grimaced. "But I'll get over it." He sighed, relieved. "When you're safely back in the States."

Andrew made a face. That was his mom, for you.

* * *

"You're not going?!"

"Nope, this is your adventure."

"But..."

"You can get the British cashier's checks changed into British wizarding money at Gringotts bank in Diagon Alley," said Andrew's mother, reading from the information sheet their bank had given them. "Then you can pick up the supplies mentioned on your list. I'm sure you can find shops in Diagon Alley that have everything you'll need."

Andrew nodded.

"What's wrong?"

"I just thought you'd be going with me. To see me off."

His mother stared at him.

"You know, it would be fun to explore Wizarding Britain with you." He smiled, cajoling her into going. But it was his mother and once she had made up her mind there was very little that could change it.

Shaking her head firmly, she announced, "I don't want to."

Andrew was shocked. His mother was also not afraid of anything, not even Voldemort. Sure she didn't want her son to be in harm's way, but she would put herself there if necessary.

His mother smiled at him grimly. "You'll be fine."

Andrew knew he would be, but he'd still miss her. After all, it had always been the two of them. They didn't do everything together, but the important stuff, well, she was _always_ there for that. Andrew couldn't help but wonder what reason his mother had for not visiting England.

* * *

_It's not a boyfriend. Mom would just bluntly tell me if it were, like that time in third grade. Of course that jerk didn't last long after he hit me. Nope, just long enough to be sent crashing through the picture window by a curse. _Andrew grinned and looked out the plane window to the clouds they were skimming over. The Magical Law Enforcement (MLE) officers had to come and wipe the guy's memory 'cause he was a Muggle. Of course, when his mom had argued that she was acting in her self defense – because a man who would hit a small child surely wouldn't stop there – the officers had agreed to talk to their supervisor about not pressing charges. After that, his mother hadn't brought any more men to the house, whether because she hadn't found anyone or because she didn't want to anger the MLE by exposing the magical world again, Andrew didn't know.

_Mom's never been to England before. We've never even been to Canada and Mom was raised in Maine, close to the border. I know she's not afraid of Voldemort, contemptuous maybe, but afraid – no way. _Andrew sipped his ginger ale and thought of the time his mom had stood up at the PTA meeting, addressing all the influential wives in town, and called for school reform simply because he was so far ahead of his classmates that class was boring him. He smiled. Somehow she managed to avoid the obvious – that her son was much more intelligent than the average child – and raised the concern that the average children may not be performing up to par because of teaching methods. Of course, nothing had really changed. His mom had just purchased textbooks on magical subjects and, when he questioned her about learning spells and potions at age 8, she merely shrugged and said he had to start sometime. It was thinking about these textbooks and going to a magical school when he turned eleven that kept him going when the muggle teacher's discussion of long division got tedious.

Jerking awake at the announcement that they were going to land soon, Andrew hurriedly looked out the window to see neat fields passing by underneath them. He nearly bounced in his seat with anticipation. He'd find Diagon Alley and get some shopping done and tomorrow... Well, tomorrow would find him at the greatest school of witchcraft and wizardry in the world – Hogwarts!


	3. Wizarding Britain

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Sorry this chapter took so long, but I went back in my writing to add some text on Snape. I hope to interweave his side of the story into this as well. I'm currently working on Chapter 5, so check back for updates. Hopefully, it will be within the next week.

_Chapter 2 _

_Wizarding Britain_

Andrew stepped into the dim light of the inside of The Leaky Cauldron. People in long clothing – robes, he mentally reminded himself – were seated around the pub and shuffling through it to a back door. Andrew walked through the main room, trying not to stare too hard at any particular person or thing, and followed a rather tattered robe belonging to a medium-sized wizard through a brick archway and into Diagon Alley. Well, that's what it _had_ to be. Andrew couldn't help but stare, but he figured it was okay since you were meant to look at the storefront windows. He stopped cold at one shop that displayed brooms in the window. He smiled. The British sure did take their Quidditch seriously. In America, it seemed to come behind the popular muggle sports like football and basketball.

Turning, Andrew spotted a clothing store, the window of which sported black robes with varying color trim. A large sign proclaimed – "School Robes – All Houses". Supposing he should find the bank, he turned to the nearest person and asked, "Excuse me, I'm looking for Gringotts' bank. Could you...?" The girl who had turned around, made his last words stick in his throat and, when she smiled, he thought he'd die – his heart seemed to stop and he seemed to be holding his breath.

"Sure. It's that big white building behind you."

Andrew nodded. It was the only thing he felt like he could do at the moment. Then, from out of nowhere, he smiled stupidly. Finally, following her pointing he saw the bank. Now that she was no longer in his sight, he was able to breathe and could feel his heart beat fiercely. Turning back he dared to ask, "After I finish at the bank, could I buy you something?"

The girl turned slightly red. "Something?" she asked in a small voice.

"Yeah, like a coke or coffee or whatever you like."

The girl looked a little confused, but she still said, "Okay," although it came out a little unsurely. Andrew nodded and smiled dumbly again, before walking off toward the bank.

Andrew emerged from the bank to find the girl waiting for him on the steps of the building. He grinned sheepishly.

"Hi."

"Sorry, I should've..."

"It's okay," she said, tossing her hair about as she shook her head. Andrew stared at her, transfixed. "Come on, let's go get some ice cream." She took his hand and nearly dragged him down the steps.

Andrew caught up to her at the bottom and squeezed her hand gently. "Sounds good."

_Dear Mom,_

_I made it into London alright and found Diagon Alley. And, wow, it was truly different than anything we have in the US. There's a real old-world feel to it, kind of like the rest of the city. I got all my supplies without too much trouble. You see, there was this girl...Yeah, I know, first day in a strange country and I meet a _girl_ and actually have a good time with her. She figured out I was not British and we did a comparison of sorts over ice cream. Mmm, they have great ice cream here! Anyway, not too much is different, just the lingo, I guess. I've gotten a room at The Leaky Cauldron – it's a wizarding establishment – where this girl and her family are staying. It's...well, a bit run-down actually, but I have a feeling that most of the magical part of Britain might look this way. So, tomorrow I head for Hogwarts! I can hardly wait! Apparently, the teachers (um, they call them Professors here) are really experts in the subjects they teach. What a nice change that will be! Despite being in a new place which I could explore and now knowing a pretty (oh, Mom, she's gorgeous!) girl, I _promise_ I will make good use of the library. Okay, I know I didn't need to explicitly promise, but I didn't want you to worry. _

_Going to find an "owl" now (they don't use the muggle post office). _

_Love,_

_Andrew_

* * *

Severus Snape sighed to himself. Currently, he was alone in his private laboratory, deep in the dungeons of Hogwarts. He was dreading the upcoming year. Specifically, he was dreading the continuation of occlumency and legilimency lessons with one of his least favorite people – Harry Potter.

Thankfully, he hadn't needed to bother with the brat this summer, but he was moving the lessons to the next and highest level for Potter's seventh year. Unfortunately, that was starting tomorrow.

Severus thought of his pensieve, but did not turn to look at it sitting innocently on a table behind him. While he was stirring exactly twelve times clockwise, the reclusive potions master thought of the memories already dredged up by having to use that damn contraption. Memories he had tried so hard to repress years ago had been plaguing him last year in his dreams. This summer, he had thought of them during his waking hours. To say he was not looking forward to the start of the school year would be a vast understatement.

As the potion turned a clear, pale blue, Severus smirked and removed the cauldron from the heat. Pouring the contents into seven small vials, he comforted himself with the thought that, this year, he would not have to worry about student cauldrons exploding. Not being in the potions classroom would help.

With a wry and triumphant countenance, the former potions teacher laid the vials and scrubbed cauldron aside and left, pensieve in hand, for his new office.

* * *

"Good morning!"

"Hey!" Andrew beamed at the girl he had met the day before. He was rolling his luggage behind him and was anxious to get to the train station. He didn't think he'd been this excited when the first day of magical school rolled around. Since that turned out to be a bit disappointing, Andrew tried to keep calm, but it was all still very exciting.

"Did you want to ride with us to the train station?"

"Uh, sure, if your parents don't mind, of course."

She giggled. "I don't think they'd notice. We have such a large group going and Ministry cars are going to take us, so there'll be plenty of room."

"Oh, okay." Andrew didn't know what a Ministry car was, but supposed it must be like a van or something similarly large.

"Hurry, hurry or we'll be late!" A large woman came down the stairs followed by kids around Andrew's age. Before she reached the door of the Leaky Cauldron, she turned and asked of them all, "Now have we got everything?" Andrew thought it was probably a bit too late to be asking such a question. Apparently the rest of the group thought so too, as there was a general sigh of "Yes."

"Good, out you go now. Come on." After shooing them all outside, the woman directed them to two green cars. Andrew thought they reminded him of green banker's lamps, not that he had seen any in Gringotts, but, well, that place was run by goblins apparently and not by humans. Andrew followed the girl into one of the cars.

"You know, I thought it would be big..." Andrew's jaw dropped. On the outside, the car was normal – about the size of a Cadillac. Inside, it was like a limo. Well, Andrew was guessing since he had never been in one.

The girl giggled and pulled him down on the seat next to her.

Other people piled into the car and soon it was quite cozy. Any other baggage or person would make it cramped, though.

The car pulled away from the curb and sped through traffic. Andrew had just noticed that they were going _through_ cars instead of just around them when one of the kids spoke up.

"Ginny, who is that?"

"Andrew Logan."

"Oh."

"Why is he here?"

"I invited him."

"She assured me there would be enough room."

"Right."

"Who are you again?"

"I'm actually an exchange student."

"Oh, right, remember Ron? Neville was going to the Netherlands for our last year."

"The whole year?"

"Just wants to get away from Snape, I guess."

General giggling.

"Doesn't everybody?"

"That's the Potions teacher, right?"

"Unfortunately."

"Yeah."

"So, Andrew, what are your favorite subjects?"

Groan. "Hermione!"

"What?"

"Do you play Quidditch?"

"Do you have a favorite team?"

"Potions, I guess, then Charms. No and no."

"You don't play Quidditch?" This was asked somewhat incredulously.

"Honestly, Ron. Not everybody..."

"It's not really a popular sport in the US."

"You're kidding."

"Not really."

"Would you want to play?"

"Ron!"


	4. Hogwarts Express

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Sorry _this_ chapter took so long, but I've been busy. Thanks to **cecelle** and **Little Tigger **for your uplifting reviews! As asked, I'm updating...so please check back in on my story.

_Chapter 3_

_Hogwarts Express_

Inside Kings Cross Station, the group found their way to Platforms 9 and 10. "Everyone got their ticket?" asked a large man with a funny hat. Lots of nods and a few murmured 'yes's were heard. "Alright then, one at a time. Harry, you first." The dark-haired boy who had been mostly quiet on the ride over ran through the wall between the platforms, disappearing into it instead of hitting it and throwing his luggage all over. Andrew blinked. "Cool."

Ginny smiled up at him and squeezed his hand, bringing his attention back to her. He smiled back.

"Now Ron... Okay, Hermione... Now Ginny...good lord, who are you?"

"Dad, this is Andrew and he's an exchange student from America."

"Oh, I see. Well, then Andrew, nice to meet you..." Ginny's dad shook his hand, "now we let Ginny go...good. Well, it looks like it's your turn."

Andrew smiled at him. "Thank you, sir." He ran through the wall thinking that Ginny's dad seemed like a nice man. He particularly liked that he had treated him almost as an equal. Most adults thought of him as a child and didn't acknowledge that he was 17. His mom didn't though. It didn't matter if he was 6 or 60, she would treat him the same way - firmly, but with respect - because she was his mother and because they shared a lot of the same interests. His mom had been his best and favorite teacher. Andrew had sometimes wondered what it would be like to have a mom _and_ a dad to teach you stuff, but didn't dwell on it too much. His mom was enough for him.

After helping Ginny load her luggage, he followed her onto the train and down the corridor. There were so many kids around, it was almost overwhelming in the small space. Also, Andrew had never been on a passenger train before, just the subway and then only for short trips. He followed Ginny into a small compartment when she tugged on his hand. Sitting down, he noticed that the same people from the car were there in addition to a striking blonde girl.

"Hi, I'm Luna," she said, sticking out her hand.

Andrew smiled. "Hi." He wasn't sure but he thought that British girls were probably prettier than any he had known back home. Beside him, Ginny patted his arm. Looking at her, he decided that British girls were _definitely_ prettier than any girl he had ever known in the States.

"Andrew, why don't you tell us about America and what it's like to live there?"

"You don't have to start in on him right away, Hermione!"

"I want to hear about it _before_ we have to go to the prefects meeting, Ron."

"Oh." Ron's face turned red.

"Don't you find out who Head Boy and Head Girl are then?"

"Yes, although I can't figure out why they've waited until now to tell us."

"I'm sure they have a reason."

"Don't they always?"

Luna rolled her eyes at the three friends. "I would like to hear about America. Please tell us."

"Well, where to begin? Um, well, the magical parts of the US are really a lot like the muggle parts, except you can purchase magical stuff, of course. I go to a magical school, but it's not a boarding school, it's more like muggle high school. I live with my mum in a muggle neighborhood. It's nice because I can use both the school library and the local library."

"You'll love Hogwarts' library!" said Hermione brightly.

Andrew smiled. "I have been looking forward to it."

Ron rolled his eyes.

"There are other things to see, you know. There's the lake, the forest, the Quidditch pitch..."

"He doesn't play, remember?"

Ginny glared at her brother and continued, "the Great Hall, and Hogsmeade, of course."

"If they'll even let us go."

"Did you know that Hogsmeade is the oldest wizarding community in Great Britain?"

"Cool."

Ron rolled his eyes.

"Tell me about this forest."

Harry's eyes gleamed. "Well, it's got acromantulas, centaurs, unicorns..."

"Werewolves," Ron interjected.

Harry nodded. "Well, sometimes." He and Hermione smiled at each other.

"Sounds pretty diverse."

"You'll actually get to see a lot of neat animals if you're taking Care of Magical Creatures."

Andrew shook his head. "I have no desire to go into veterinary science."

Hermione smirked, while most of the others looked confused. "It's not just that. Sometimes you need to know about the creatures like if you needed to acquire potions ingredients."

Andrew raised his eyebrow, reminiscent of his mother. "Then I'll just look it up."

Harry laughed. "Mate, it's really a fun class. You should see if you can get in it."

When Hermione slowly nodded her head, Andrew seriously began to think that his schedule might need an overhaul. Hopefully these people could help him.

* * *

Severus Snape walked around his new classroom, surveying that everything was in order. He was also organizing his mind; he thought of himself as a multi-tasker. He could brew a potion and ponder the properties of the mugwort root, eat in the Great Hall and glare at the students, spy for the Order and grovel before the Dark Lord.

_An older girl was sorted into Slytherin house. Severus only glanced at her, noting her features – brown hair, middling height, and almost nondescript. She appeared either shy or introspective, not talking with the rest of the newcomers. However, they were first years and she was definitely much older. Sixth year? Seventh year? It didn't really matter, did it? Anyway, he'd find out soon enough._

Severus drifted out of his thoughts and found himself to be staring out of the window at the Quidditch pitch. He snorted and shook his head to be rid of the memories. Damn Occlumency lessons.

* * *

"So, not divination?" Andrew smirked. The other boys in the compartment made disgusted noises.

"Definitely not," was Hermione's summation.

"Okay," Andrew nodded.

When the compartment door flew open, Andrew hadn't expected the easygoing teens to react in such a hostile manner.

"Malfoy," Ron spat.

"Get out," said Harry in a deadly low voice.

The blonde boy at the door merely smirked, crossed his arms, and leant up against the doorjamb. "Make me," he hissed lowly.

Ron started forward, but Hermione held him back. Harry searched Malfoy's face for some explanation of his behavior. Suddenly, grey eyes fell on the newcomer and, falling quite out of character, Malfoy blurted, "Who are you?!"

Andrew sighed. "I'm getting a lot of that today," he joked weakly.

Malfoy looked at him as if he were a distasteful cut of meat.

"Andrew Logan," he introduced himself and stuck out his hand.

"What're you..." Harry trailed off as Malfoy smirked and shook the new guy's hand.

"I'm an exchange student," Andrew explained, stepping back.

"Been sorted yet?"

Andrew looked confused.

Hermione sighed. "We hadn't gotten around to discussing that yet."

Straight-faced, Malfoy announced, "You have to fight a dragon so they'll know what house to put you in."

Ginny snorted.

"That's not true," Ron blurted, his face red from controlling his anger.

"Too bad. Sounded like fun," Andrew joked.

Malfoy's eyes glinted. He made a dismissive gesture. "Nah, it's just an old ratty hat that they put on your head. It yells out your house."

Andrew raised both eyebrows. "Not even a duel?" he deadpanned.

Malfoy gave what could be a laugh. "That could be arranged."

Harry stepped up at that. "I thought I told you to Get Out," he growled.

Malfoy held up his hands in surrender. "Chill, Potter. I'm going." He vacated the doorway. Harry slammed the door shut and plopped down on the seat.

Andrew stared at him a minute and said lowly, "Ah, that explains the scar."

Harry looked up at the tall boy and smiled grimly.


	5. Welcoming Feast

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Thanks to **Little Tigger** for the review. Glad you appreciate the dialogue. I'm quite proud of it myself.

_Chapter 4_

_Welcoming Feast_

After a short carriage ride from Hogsmeade Station to Hogwarts, Andrew stood looking at the front of the castle known to all in the wizarding world as Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"Wow."

"You act like you've never seen a castle before," Ginny teased.

Smiling, Andrew looked down at her. "We don't have castles in America." Turning around, he looked out over a still, dark lake. Beyond the trees, faint lights could be seen from the wizarding village at the foot of the hills. Drawing a deep breath, trying to burn this moment in time into his memory, Andrew relished the feeling of being in a place that oozed magic. It was intoxicating.

In the entrance hall, Ginny had to pull Andrew along. He was too busy staring open-mouthed at everything around him.

"You look like a damn tourist," came a drawling voice. Draco was standing near the top of the stairs, seemingly waiting for them.

Andrew closed his mouth and grinned.

"Mr. Logan?" A stern-looking elderly lady wearing a witch's hat looked down her nose at him from the top of the stairs.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Come with me please."

Just as he was about to step into the room the woman was directing him into, Andrew looked back to notice that Ginny was glaring at the Malfoy guy and he was smirking superiorly at her. Ginny tossed her head defiantly and marched past the smirking boy.

* * *

Severus Snape sat through the Welcoming Feast thoroughly bored. Having sat through the ritual many times, it had become quite routine and extremely tedious. He was, of course, aware of who was sorted into Slytherin House, but the rest of the evening was irrelevant.

When a new seventh year appeared to be sorted, Severus paid little attention. He would eventually meet the dunderhead in class. When the hat shouted "SLYTHERIN!", Severus snapped his gaze up to the boy.

Out from underneath the sorting hat, a brown-haired, tall, gangly teenager stood looking out into the sea of faces. He appeared confident and relaxed. After a brief hesitation where he seemed to glance at the Gryffindor table, he strode over to the Slytherin table. Severus blinked when he shook hands with Draco Malfoy as if greeting an old friend. The Sytherin table seemed to accept the older newcomer without too much ado so Severus left any further musings for later as he concentrated on his meal. It not only made his table manners appear impeccable, but it also served to waylay any fellow faculty member who attempted to engage him in conversation.

* * *

_Dear Mom,_

_This place is so awesome! Do you remember when we went to Salem and toured the magical community there? It seemed _old_ and suffused with magic. Take that feeling and multiply it a hundred-fold and then add the awe of being in such an old and majestic place among hundreds of magical people and that begins to describe what being at Hogwarts is like. _

_At the Welcoming Feast, this old, battered hat sorted the students into houses or dorms, if you will. When it was put on my head, it took a while. Most of the first year students were placed quickly. I suppose being older with a less black and white view of the world makes it harder to know your personality in such a short time. The hat mentioned something about me being studious, but didn't want to put me in the Ravenclaw house. It said that I don't study because I find it fun, but that (and here's what made me a bit uncomfortable) I study so much and make good grades_ because_ I want people to think highly of me. I wonder about that. I'm not saying it's not true, but I do like the peacefulness of the library and the thought of all that knowledge wrapped up in books. It's a bit heady. And yes, I know I sound like a nerd (Corey's words, not mine!), but it's true! _

_I'm getting off track. I meant to tell you which house the sorting hat put me into because of it's assessment of my personality – Slytherin. The girl I told you about in my last letter – Ginny – didn't seem too happy that I was in Slytherin. Actually there's this guy (Draco) who has a similar sense of humor who is in the same house and my age that I met on the train. Ginny and her friends don't seem to like him too much – no idea why. We joked all through dinner and, after a HUGE feast, when we went to leave, I tried to say goodnight to Ginny. Her brother (_older_ brother – boy, can I pick 'em?) nearly growled at me when I tried to talk to her. She was frowning and was going to speak when her brother dragged her off down the hall. Right now, I'm thinking that I'll have to try to talk to her when he isn't around. _

_The really weird part? Ginny, her brother, and their friends were really nice to me on the way to Hogwarts. It's like I somehow changed from the person they were talking to on the train to someone undesirable in the minute or so that damn sorting hat was on my head. Right now, I'm going to be the same charming guy I always have been – library books and all – so that they'll realize I haven't really changed. Well, that's the plan anyway._

_Got to get to bed now – classes are tomorrow!!! Can you tell I'm excited? I'll owl this in the morning. Apparently, the owls are kept far from the Slytherin dorms._

_Love,_

_Andrew_

Draco raised one delicate eyebrow. "You're writing to your mother on your first night?"

Andrew nodded.

"You really are a wide-eyed first-year."

Andrew grinned and shrugged. "First-timer."

Draco smirked. "Yeah, well, I'm going to bed."

"Goodnight."

Draco nodded sleepily and left for the Head Boy's room.

Andrew placed the letter aside and looked around his dorm room. The large four-poster beds had green curtains – again, the rich green of banker's lamps. He found it terribly old-fashioned to have curtains around your bed, but perhaps it would provide some privacy in a place crawling with people – and ghosts and portraits that moved from frame to frame. His roommates were already ensconced in their beds, their curtains drawn tightly.

Andrew smiled to himself. Finally he was at a place of great magical learning. He was going to show them all how well an American and public school-educated guy could get along at such an elite school. Andrew frowned, remembering the words of the sorting hat. He didn't think that wanting to prove himself capable meant the same thing as bragging. Andrew never bragged; he didn't have to because his accomplishments garnered praise without his having to ask for it.

Andrew stifled a yawn and set about getting ready for bed. When he lay down and got comfortable, his thoughts drifted to Ginny and he smiled, thinking about how beautiful she was. Then he remembered her reaction to his sorting – the horrified look on her face. When he looked to the Slytherin table – the only table clapping for him – he saw Draco. He was smiling and clapping heartily. The different reactions were very confusing and Andrew didn't get a chance to bring it up with Draco. Recalling the encounter on the train, he wasn't sure if he should. For now, a little observation and some discrete questions would have to suffice.

Andrew's last thought before he fell asleep was to wonder what his mother would say._ "Why do you care what they think, Andrew? What matters is what you think of yourself. Carry that with you and project it out to others so that they'll see what you see."_


	6. The First Day of Classes

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Thanks to **Little Tigger **for reminding me that Draco must continue to be a little snot. Thanks to **cecelle** for letting me know her favorite lines from the last chapter and for getting that instant dislike comes with being a Slytherin despite all evidence that you're actually a good guy.

_Chapter 5_

_The First Day of Classes (aka Andrew is a Nerd)_

"Ugh. Why are you smiling?" Draco made a face at Andrew. "It's a Monday and the first day of classes."

Andrew grinned even wider. "Exactly."

Draco shook his head. "You're not supposed to be excited about it."

"Why not?"

"You should appear calm, collected, and unfazed by the change from summer to school," Draco said as if reciting.

Andrew raised his eyebrow. "What book of etiquette is that from?"

"The Malfoy Code of Conduct."

"You're serious."

Draco stared at him a minute. "Yes. Yes, I am," he said with a straight, emotionless face.

Andrew burst out laughing and Draco followed moments later.

When Andrew was wiping tears away with his sleeve, Draco, who had composed himself much more quickly, drew his attention to the doors of the Great Hall by announcing, "There's the girl of your dreams."

"Yeah, now if I could just control those dreams."

Draco smirked. "She not doing what you want in them?"

Andrew frowned. "She's not really cooperating _at all_," he commented, noticing that Ginny deliberately avoided his gaze while walking to the Gryffindor table.

"You want to go talk to her? I'll walk over there with you."

"No."

"I thought you liked her..."

"Not when her brother's there," Andrew cut him off.

"I see."

"He doesn't seem to like me, but I suppose that's what big brother's are supposed to feel about guys who try to talk to their sisters?"

Draco gave him an inscrutable look. "Yeah," he finally said, and returned to eating his breakfast.

Andrew took in the Great Hall, now bathed in sunlight. It looked much different than it had in the candlelight during last night's dinner. His gaze landed on Ginny and her friends. Harry looked at him; it was nearly the same calculating look he had given Draco on the train. Andrew smiled back, not giving the boy any reason to wonder what he was thinking. However, Harry quickly turned to Ginny's brother, Ron.

Andrew looked back down at his plate and the mush he had created with his fork.

"Alright," said Draco, leading the seventh-year Slytherins down the hall. "We have Herbology first thing."

"Does everyone have the same schedule? I thought..."

"On Mondays and Wednesdays, we have our core classes. Tuesdays and Thursdays are the electives. Fridays are for independent research."

"Those of us who are doing any."

"Thank you, Blaise. You are quite right." Draco looked over his shoulder briefly at Crabbe and Goyle. Andrew smiled knowingly at him. Those two guys were a bit thick. Draco smiled back.

* * *

Severus Snape had looked forward to teaching this class since his first day teaching potions class. When a third-year Gryffindor's cauldron had exploded covering half of the classroom in an unknown, thick, putrid, green substance, Severus knew he wanted to teach something else. Utterly appalled at the students' lack of finesse, only his love of the subject had kept him teaching the class. Dumbledore always found a candidate for the Defense Against the Dark Arts class and could never quite find a suitable replacement for him. Severus smirked, knowing that Dumbledore would be hard-pressed to find a more capable or talented potions master in all of England and most of Western Europe.

It seemed ironic that the very man who had driven him to Hogwarts' doorstep seeking shelter and forgiveness would be the reason he got his dream job. It might not be what he had dreamed of doing at the tender age of fifteen, but jaded now by life's cruelties and infinitely wiser due to his experiences, it was the best a former Death Eater could hope for – to help the next generation avoid the pitfalls of the last.

_It was their first potions class of the year. Severus could hardly wait to begin NEWT potions, but then he remembered with whom he had to share the class. It was really appalling that the standards for the NEWT classes were set so low. Before he could sneer at Potter and the rest of the "Murderers" arrival, the door to the classroom opened and the students from the previous class emerged._

_Severus noticed the new Slytherin girl from the night before at the Welcome Feast. She walked by herself with her head down. He still couldn't tell if she was just shy or deep in thought. Some of the Slytherin sixth-year boys were right behind her and they were trying to levitate the back of her robes. Severus couldn't see it, but he was sure they were trying to levitate her skirt as well. He thought it a very juvenile form of entertainment and went to push through to the classroom when he heard her speak. In a clear, menacing yet soft voice, the girl said, "I wouldn't waste my time, McCreary. Someone who doesn't even know that calendula is poisonous when mixed with beetle eyes couldn't possibly manage a simple levitation spell, more or less impress anyone with their feeble attempts at machoism."_

_Thinking that the newest addition to the Slytherin house had turned out to be an asset, Severus entered the class smirking._

Snape frowned as his thoughts returned to the present. He thought that he would at least get a reprieve from the memories when he put them into his pensieve before Potter's Occlumency lesson tonight.

* * *

The day passed by quickly for Andrew, though the other students seemed to complain about the length of the classes. Everything was so new, so different, and completely exciting that before Andrew realized it, the class would end. Draco would lead them through more corridors and up and down staircases and they would enter a new classroom. Andrew couldn't get over the vastness of the place and was glad to have a knowledgeable guide.

At lunch, he tried to catch Ginny's eye, but she was talking animatedly to Hermione the whole time. Draco advised him to move on, but he decided that just one day of her ignoring him was too short a time to give up completely.

After their last class of the day, History of Magic – a subject that Andrew had never experienced before and one that might have been interesting if not for the boring teacher who read directly from the text – the boys plopped down on the couches in the Slytherin common room. They sighed as if from exhaustion, but it was only three in the afternoon and Andrew wasn't tired.

"Will one of you show me the way to the library?"

Draco looked at him as if he had grown a second head. "Why?"

Andrew just looked back at him.

"You aren't actually going to study?" he asked disdainfully.

"Setting a good example as Head Boy, Draco?"

Draco smirked and relaxed further into the couch.

Andrew shrugged and made his way out of the common room.

"If you're not back by ten, I'll send the Bloody Baron to find you!" yelled Draco after him.

Andrew rolled his eyes. How hard could it be to find the library?

An hour and a half later, Andrew still had not found the library. There were several things that complicated his search. One was the changing staircases and the myriad hallways on every floor. Two was that anyone who wasn't a Slytherin was not inclined to talk to him so he couldn't ask where the library was located. If he did find a Slytherin to ask, they either laughed or looked at him like he was crazy. Andrew was beginning to wonder if the British even bothered with hospitality.

"If I were a library, where would I be?" Andrew mused aloud.

"Why don't you ask someone, dearie?"

Andrew looked around but didn't see anyone. "Who said that?"

"I did."

Andrew peered into a dark corner nearby.

"In the portrait!" shouted someone close to his ear.

Andrew whipped around to see a woman in a large, pink dress fanning herself huffily.

"I'm sorry," Andrew said slowly, not sure if one needed to apologize to what was essentially paint. "I'm not used to...paintings that talk."

The woman sniffed.

Andrew sighed. "I've tried asking and nobody seems to want to help me. Is this the hospitality of Britian?!" Andrew yelled down the corridor, frustrated with his fruitless search.

"Really! Americans can be so tasteless!"

Andrew glared at her and was about to retort when the frame swung forward as if on hinges. Andrew jumped back and stared wide-eyed at the opening behind the portrait.

_Dear Mom,_

_I'm about to go to bed after a very long first day. Well, it didn't seem long until I started looking for the library. I never knew castles could be so big. I suppose it doesn't help that this is a _magical_ castle and, therefore, has stairs and hallways that change, making even the most familiar route (to the Great Hall) confusing. Somehow in my wanderings, I wound up by the Gryffindor dorms. Hermione, a Gryffindor girl in my year, came out and we went to the library together. It was unbelievably nice to have someone to study with who didn't constantly ask me questions. Not that I mind helping people, but I don't want to do their work for them. _

_Oh, the library. Mom, it's so full of interesting books and _old_. I could lose myself in there for days, carrying around a backpack with provisions. I could also ditch studying and classes altogether and find exactly what I'm interested in among those shelves. But I won't, of course. The seventh years get Fridays off from classes to work on their independent research. I've decided to ask the Charms teacher if I can research something. I'll have to nose around in the library and find something. I'm sure I can find ten somethings after an hour's time!_

_Well, that's all for today except to say that I still haven't spoken to Ginny. Draco says I should forget about her, but I don't want to yet. It's only been a day after all. I think that there'll be an opportunity to talk to her when her brother's not around and I'll find out what she thinks. If she's decided to be as prejudiced as most of the people around here, I am sure I can get over her. If not...well, we'll see._

_Write and let me know how things are with you._

_Love,_

_Andrew_

Andrew slipped out of his dorm room and into the common room. It was late – past curfew – but he wanted to get the letter out as soon as possible. He was curious as to what his mother's advice might be about Ginny. He found Draco on one of the couches scribbling furiously on a parchment. Andrew walked by as quietly as he could.

"Where do you think you're going?" came Draco's voice in a superior tone.

Andrew half-turned and gave him a sidelong glance. "Owlery," he replied casually.

Draco gave a short laugh. "No, you're not." He looked up from his parchment. "You'll get lost or worse – caught by Filch and have points taken off."

Andrew shrugged. "I don't really see the point of points."

Draco smiled sinisterly. "Let me tell you then. If you gain points, you stay nice and in one piece. If you lose them..." Draco trailed off as he stood up and came to stand by Andrew. "Well, you don't want to find out."

Andrew felt like laughing. He'd never seen anyone use such an obvious scare tactic apart from old-timey, cliché villains in movies. Instead, he stepped forward toward the door. "Call me curious," he flung over his shoulder as he exited the common room.


	7. Defense Against the Dark Arts

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ **Little Tigger**, thanks so much for the long and helpful review! I realize now that a lot of what Draco is thinking is playing out in my head and not in my story. This and the next chapter should obliquely address Draco's perspective regarding things Andrew may or may not do. Consider that JK Rowling has written (and many fanfic writers as well) that Draco has no friends and no potential friendships exist for him in his house and year. I expect that he has jumped at the opportunity to have a friend who he feels is on some level an equal.

_Chapter 6_

_Defense Against the Dark Arts_

_Severus noticed the new girl at dinner that night and again at breakfast the next day. He saw her in the hall near the Transfiguration classroom after lunch and in the library after dinner. This was a new experience for him. Usually, he did not notice people. Usually, he had to be prodded to acknowledge another's existence, especially if he was deep in a potions text. He supposed he found the girl intriguing, if only because he did not know her. People were always more curious about things or people that were mysterious._

_The second week of classes he found her in a little used courtyard. She was, as usual, engrossed in a book. Approaching her before he knew what his feet were doing, Severus stood just before the girl. He cleared his throat. He opened his mouth but no words came out. He sighed in frustration. He thought seriously about just leaving. He glanced down at the girl and saw that she had not noticed him yet! Determined to at least be acknowledged, Severus sat down beside her in order to be able to see exactly what she was reading that was so much more important than him._

_The chapter's title was "The Bean Field" and Severus read enough of the rambling prose to find that the batty author was actually prattling on about planting and tending his bean field! Severus' soft snort of incredulousness caught the girl's attention. Well, it should have; he was sitting so close._

"_Don't like Thoreau?" was the girl's cryptic first words to him._

"_Who?"_

_The girl smiled as if she had a secret. Severus gazed at her. She closed the book while keeping her place with her finger. The cover said "Walden by Henry David Thoreau" and showed a peaceful, lush, forest setting with a small pond._

_Rather than admit his ignorance, Severus replied, "Do you enjoy reading about agriculture?"_

_The girl's smile turned into a smirk. "It's not all about agriculture. In fact, the entire thing is a treatise about man's relationship with nature. What makes it good is the dry wit interspersed throughout to punctuate Thoreau's points."_

"_I see," Severus said, although his tone hinted that he, in fact, did not._

_A slight chuckle and the girl went on to explain that Thoreau was a muggle author who believed that god or the creator was in and around everything. She finished off with, "It's not for everyone."_

"_I see," Severus repeated himself. Something he rarely did. To say something different, he asked, "Why are you not studying your school texts?"_

_The girl shrugged. _

_Severus frowned. _

"_I don't really need to."_

"_Are you sure? You've just come to a new school. It must certainly be a change from your old one."_

_"Why do you care?"_

"_I'm a prefect. I am supposed to guide my younger classmates in Slytherin house."_

_The girl pinned him with a look, a look that Severus did not like. It was as if she was calculating or summing up everything about him._

"_I am sure that I don't need the extra study time. I didn't go to school before I came here; I had private tutors. The classes I am taking are just a little easy. It's a bit disappointing."_

_Severus knew what she meant and he said so, telling her about NEWT potions and how it really did not live up to his expectations. The girl smiled warmly at him._

Last night's lesson with Potter had included Legilimency. Severus had pulled all the thoughts about his seventh year out of his head and had relegated them to the pensieve. Putting them back in was a mistake. He knew that now as he stepped out of the shower, having mechanically gone through the motions while his memory took him back almost twenty years.

* * *

"This is gonna be good." Draco rubbed his hands together gleefully as he surveyed the students standing outside the door to the classroom.

"Why's that?" asked Andrew.

"Professor Snape is teaching Defense."

"So?"

Draco smirked, "The Gryffindors can't _stand_ him."

Andrew frowned. Severus Snape was the head of Slytherin house. Andrew had only seen him during the beginning of the year speech in the Slytherin common room. The man was short and to the point and, like most Slytherins, not hesitant to imply dire consequences should you violate the rules.

The door opened and the students filed into their first NEWT Defense Against the Dark Arts Class.

They took their seats under the intense glare of the new teacher. Andrew wondered that he wasn't reading their minds as he switched his gaze from student to student. Not a word was uttered and all sat down as quietly as they could. After the class had sat for a minute in complete silence, they heard a firm voice with a hint of danger. "Open your books to the first page." They did so with the minimal amount of movement and noise. "You will notice that the _author_," a derisive sneer accompanied that word, "deems himself _unbeatable_." The contempt in that last word was almost tangible. "No one is immune from death."

Draco raised his hand.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy?"

"Aren't there potions that stop death?"

Their professor's face twisted into a wry smile as if he were a tiger cornering a mouse - a task that was too easy. "Yes, but how many of you can make such a potion?" He gazed triumphantly at them until he frowned and hissed, "Put your hand _down_, Miss Granger!"

Andrew waited, not noticing that he was holding his breath, for the professor to continue. When he did not, Andrew braved raising his hand.

The professor sneered. "Yes, Mr…?"

"Logan, sir."

"Our new addition to Slytherin house."

Andrew nodded, wondering why the other Slytherins were snickering.

"Well?" asked Professor Snape, clearly annoyed at having been kept waiting.

"It doesn't matter if you have a potion to stop death. It doesn't really matter if you sell your soul to the devil to cheat death. Exchanging one life for another isn't always a fair trade. If you want something, you have to give something else up for it. We all die; that is the nature of mortal men. It's how we live and what kind of life we live, that makes our lives worth living – or not."

Snape was silent. The whole class was silent. Andrew swallowed a bit nervously, but was satisfied with his statement. Draco was looking at him as if he had suddenly grown a second head and announced that it was to be called Jill and he had changed his name to Jack. Harry was again looking at him as if to determine why he had said those things. Others looked at him approvingly – Hermione for one. Still others looked a bit baffled – mostly the Slytherins.

Snapping out of his shock, Severus just nodded his head. "That being said, the author is fooling himself if he thinks he will cheat death or keep his charmed life, such as it is. Therefore, you will tear out that page."

A few ripping sounds were heard before a shocked "Professor!" came out of Hermione. Draco ripped his out straight away as did many others. Andrew took his quill and wrote on the page. He looked up when he had finished into black eyes. Those eyes were challenging and belonged to his professor and head of house. The older man took up Andrew's book and read the line Andrew had written. He smirked and suppressed a chuckle. Dropping the book back on his student's desk, the professor began his lecture.

* * *

Severus Snape, Professor of Defense at Hogwart's, sat behind his desk with the day's student papers arrayed in front of him. He had picked one up at random and had graded it without looking at the name. When he had penned an "O" at the top, he looked to find an unfamiliar name – Andrew Logan, Seventh Year, Slytherin House. The boy was intriguing. He approached things from quite a different angle than the British children, but Severus supposed that it stemmed from his American upbringing. Severus had known several Americans and the whole bloody lot were either boorish and attention seekers or ruthless and brilliant. Severus felt that Mr. Logan fell into the latter category, mostly. It appeared that the new addition to Slytherin would work out well after all._

* * *

Dear Mom,_

_I had a chance to talk to Ginny after supper but Draco would _not_ leave me alone! I don't think he wants me to make friends with the Gryffindors – a rival house – but he will quickly find that he cannot tell me what to do. Only my mother can do that! _

_We had our first class with our Head of House today. He teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts. I know it's not an important class back home, but here it has so much relevancy. The man is dark and menacing, and at times he appears dangerous, but I think that he means well. In this class, it might work to scare the students into learning! _

_I have spoken to the Charms professor and am going to look in the library this weekend for an independent study topic to research. I know I'll find something that will be interesting and, quite possibly, helpful. _

_I'm off to watch the Slytherin team's Quidditch practice. Apparently everyone takes it quite seriously here. There's fierce competition between the houses and practices are closed to non-house members. I'm going to be a lookout for half the practice and a spectator for the other half. As much as everyone talks about this sport, I can't wait to see a real game!_

_Love,_

_Andrew_


	8. Words

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Thank you, **cecelle** for pointing out that Draco addressing his professor by his first name in the last chapter was too informal. I went back and fixed that. Thank you, **Little Tigger**, for your constructive criticism. I truly cherish the feedback. It's these helpful reviewers that make me want to create a better story and make me read and re-read everything to make it better fit the characters and the Harry Potter story.

_Chapter 7_

_Words_

Andrew stared at the first page of his Defense text. Underneath the author's boast of invincibility, his loopy scrawl – pronounced in deep, thick black ink – lay.

_A man who thinks he knows everything has a lot to learn, especially this guy_.

Andrew flipped to the third chapter – Stunning Spells and How to Use Them Effectively – and began reading. Or at least he tried to do so. His mind kept drifting to the afternoon Quidditch practice and the girl he had encountered while guarding the pitch from rival house eyes.

"Ginny!" Andrew was surprised, excited, nervous, and apprehensive all at once. It was very confusing.

"Hey, I've been looking for you."

"You have?"

Ginny nodded slowly. Sighing, she said, "I know that my brother's been a prat and hasn't let you talk to me."

Andrew nodded. He had noticed that. He didn't mention that Draco hadn't let him talk to her either.

"It's just…with you being a Slytherin, I don't think it would work out."

Andrew was surprised, as surprised as a person can be who saw this coming a mile off yet still had hope that it wouldn't happen.

"You don't even want to try?" he asked, hopefully.

Ginny shook her head, her fiery hair covering her down-turned face.

Andrew sighed and crossed his arms. "I expected you to at least try."

Ginny shrugged.

"After all, Gryffindors are renowned for their courage. I guess I thought you'd put up a fight."

Ginny looked up at him, her anger peaked.

"That is, of course, if you like me at all."

Hands on hips, she glared at him. "I can do whatever I want, Andrew Logan! And not anybody – not my brother or my parents, Harry, or Hermione – can tell me what to do!"

Andrew smirked. "I know what you mean."

Ginny softened. "You do?"

"Yeah. The Slytherins aren't too happy that I want to spend time with you. No, scratch that – they don't want me to spend time with a Gryffindor. But, you see, _I_ don't see you as a Gryffindor. I just see Ginny – a fiery, intelligent, and…beautiful girl."

Ginny smiled slightly.

"It's stupid to judge people by random labels that others put on them. I much prefer to judge people by their looks."

Ginny looked at him skeptically.

"Mmhmm," Andrew nodded. "I definitely only want to hang around good-looking people." Andrew smiled teasingly at her.

She punched his arm playfully. "Shut up, you."

After a minute of tense silence, Andrew asked, "So, does this mean you'll hang out with me?"

Ginny sighed and looked up into his eyes. "We'll see."

Andrew's eyebrows rose. "_We'll see?_ Ginny…"

"I have to convince Ron that you're not a threat and you have to convince the Slytherins that I'm…" she broke off, unwilling to finish the sentence.

Andrew took a guess and finished, "…purely a physical attraction?"

Ginny blushed.

Andrew shook his head. "I don't think I can lie about that."

"Why not…"

"Ginny, I…I don't want to treat you like that. Your brother won't let me either." Ginny laughed. "And, the Slytherins, they'll try to take advantage of you and I can't let that happen."

Ginny was now beet red. "I see," she whispered, "but I don't think I…" she frowned. "Maybe it's not worth it."

"_You_ are worth it," Andrew whispered, staring at her intensely.

"Ginny!"

She sighed and looked back up at him. "I have to go. Ron's looking for me."

Andrew nodded. "Think about what I said."

"I will." Looking at him strangely, she asked, "Where did you learn to be such a gentleman?"

Andrew's eyes twinkled. "Oh, you can thank my mom for that."

He watched as Ginny ran back toward the castle, her red hair visible far into the distance.

Twenty minutes later, it was Andrew's turn to watch the Quidditch practice. Sitting in the library staring at his Defense text, Andrew didn't remember a minute of it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Severus Snape sat at his desk. He was thoroughly exhausted. The challenge of teaching a new subject was what he had wanted, but it was also a great deal of work. To top it all off, tonight was Potter's second Occlumency lesson. They were again going over the _Legilimens_ spell and Severus had thankfully poured his memories into his pensieve just before he sat down. It was a relief that almost made him feel as if he had extra energy. He decided to leave the memories there, under locking spells, until the weekend when he could more effectively deal with them and when he had time to deal with them. After all, who wanted the distraction of the memories from their school days to interfere with their work? Or their life? It was easy to move past them in time, but not so easy in terms of feelings, especially if the memories are floating so close to the surface.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A knock sounded on his door. As he bade the person enter, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, centering himself for the impending lesson.

"Mr. Logan."

"You wanted to see me, sir?" the tall boy asked, folding himself neatly into the visitor's chair.

"I did." Severus stared at him for a minute, but the boy was unfazed. He sat, apparently comfortable, with a calm yet expectant look on his face. "You have yet to declare your thesis for your independent research project. I wanted to know if I could help you in any way with this task."

The boy straightened up and leaned forward slightly. "I have a specific topic that I am interested in, but I want to speak to Professor Flitwick before going forward with it."

"I see. So your interest lies in Charms?" The boy that he had begun to have high hopes for appeared to be in the clutches of that loathsome pastime – frivolous wand waving.

"Mostly. However, I want this project to be a blend of Charms, Potions, and Defense."

Severus raised his eyebrows. Usually graduate students or apprentices tackled projects incurring more than one discipline. "Must you utilize all three? Perhaps you could pick one…"

The boy shook his head and continued, adamantly sticking to his point, "I will not be able to accomplish my goal if I only use one area of magic."

"And what _is_ your goal?" Severus asked, his curiosity truly peaked.

"To find a deterrent for the _Cruciatus_ curse."

Severus' aura crackled. The boy could not have picked a subject more close to home. However, he remained calm, cool, and collected in all outward appearances. "I doubt someone with your level of _experience_ can begin to make any headway into the problem. You will undoubtedly receive a failing grade for making such grandiose plans if nothing else."

"Professor," the boy entreated him earnestly, "I'm not starting from scratch here. I have found an account of a previous attempt. After all, most potions are created with an antidote or counter-potion. When the _Cruciatus_ curse was being created, a counter-curse must have at least begun to be developed. The notes I've found have led me to conclude that was the case."

Severus did not reply as he was turning the information over in his head, wondering why he had never heard of this counter-curse before.

"Like most ancient magic, the counter-curse can not have been created from one discipline. The _Cruciatus_ curse has mutated down the ages into a pure spell form, as have most basic spells. The counter-curse never came that far. That's why I believe that I need to research it from many different angles." The boy paused again, searching his professor's face for a hint of his assessment of the argument.

Severus briefly closed his eyes. This boy reminded him of someone…perhaps himself? He shook his head mentally. No, he was never inclined to bring together so many elements to achieve goals. He never had any strength in Charms. Then who…?

Shrugging off the feeling, Severus opened his eyes to a concerned face. He nodded once. "Very well. I will speak with Professor Flitwick about collaborating to accomplish your project. We will both need to look over this _account_ you have found as I will be overseeing the defense and potions portions of the project." The boy smiled, pleased with the outcome. "However, I suggest that we use the thesis to limit the scope of the project." At the disappointed look on his pupil's face, he added, "We can always search for further answers to further questions after the original question has been answered."

Andrew smiled, relieved. "Thank you, Professor."

As the gangly lad left his office, Severus rubbed his forehead. He still couldn't rid himself of the feeling that Andrew Logan reminded him of someone he had known.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Andrew left Professor Snape's office feeling better about having his independent research project underway. However, he wished that the professor would give him leeway to accomplish much more than merely _researching_ the _Cruciatus_ counter-curse. Andrew wanted to find a practical application of the counter-curse. He felt it was a much-needed protection, especially considering what information he had found about the last war against Voldemort. Surely, it was a much-needed defense for this war as well.

Deep in thought, Andrew did not hear the two fighting boys until he rounded a corner and came face-to-face with them.

"Bugger off, Malfoy!"

"Make me, Potter!"

Harry tried to lunge past Draco, but the blonde shoved him backwards.

"Tell me where you're going!"

"Why should I?!"

Draco smirked. "Because I'm a prefect and you're not."

"It's not after curfew, Malfoy!"

"It's close enough," Draco hissed, before the two boys threw themselves at each other, rolling around on the ground, pushing and pulling and punching wherever they could.

"Stop!" Andrew yelled, to no effect. He tried reaching down to yank one of them away, but got scratched by one and bit by the other for his efforts.

"Ouch!"

"Potter! Malfoy! Stop it this instant!" Professor Snape had appeared and was livid. He grabbed Harry by the ankles and tugged hard. Andrew saw his opportunity and grabbed Draco by the hair.

"Ow! Logan, let me go!"

Andrew shook his head, all of his energy going into restraining Draco.

Harry glared at Draco. Draco glared at Harry. It was obvious that the two boys hated each other's guts.

Andrew held on to Draco's struggling form.

"What's this all about?" came Snape's silky yet dangerous voice.

"That _git_ wouldn't let me pass!"

"That _mudblood lover_ wouldn't tell me where he was going!"

"I don't have to!"

"I'm a prefect. You have to do what I say!"

"No, I don't, you _filthy deatheater!"_

Andrew's eyebrows rose at that remark about his friend whom he knew had a tendency to be flippant about his pureblood beliefs, but he didn't think Draco was adamant enough about pureblood sentiments to want to join a radical like Voldemort.

"_Silence!" _Snape roared. "Take him back to the Slytherin dorm. I'll deal with _Potter_." Snape dragged Harry back toward his office and Andrew let Draco go.

Draco was muttering under his breath and Andrew only caught snatches. "Mudblood lover" and "half-blood" were some of the phrases that were said loud enough for him to make out. Suddenly, Draco turned on him.

"And you! What did you think you were doing?"

Andrew was shocked. "What do you mean?"

"You're _supposed_ to _help_ me! Not pull me off!"

"Professor Snape…"

Draco's eyes narrowed. "Snape hates Potter more than I do, if that's possible." Draco's expression changed swiftly to a smirk. "He'll get what's coming to him." He then spun on his heel and headed back towards Slytherin House.

Andrew stood alone in the corridor wondering what could have happened between the two boys to make them such enemies. They were both good people. Well, Harry was a bit self-righteous and could be abrupt at times and Draco was a bit preening and could be harsh in his criticisms of others but, from what Andrew had observed of the two, there wasn't anything about either boy that would spark such hatred. Andrew sighed and looked back towards Professor Snape's office. No matter what Draco said, he doubted the professor would do anything that was against school policies so he wasn't worried about Harry. What worried Andrew is that Draco had gotten into a physical fight with another student and no disciplinary action had been taken. Draco was too arrogant already to let him get away with something like that, but it wasn't Andrew's place to do anything. He would just have to see how things played out.


	9. Emotions Are For The Weak

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Okay, so this was originally supposed to be from three different points of view – Andrew, his mother, and Snape – but I had writer's block on this chapter and, to fill it out, I wrote a little Harry-Ron-Hermione scene. I'm keeping it in because I think it's funny and it rounds out their personalities for this story at least. Thanks to reviewers – **cecelle**, **dalamis**, **Little Tigger**, and **Shahrezad1.**

**_AN 12/22/04:Updated because cecelle makes a good point. Can you spot the changed word?_**

_Chapter 8_

_Emotions Are For The Weak_

"You know better than to fight with Malfoy, Potter."

"Yes, sir."

"If he accosts you again on the way to my office, simply say that you have detention with me."

"Yes, sir."

Potter looked at his feet, apparently avoiding eye contact. Severus sighed. Tonight's lesson was not destined to go well.

"Are you ready to begin?"

Potter shook his head. Severus sighed again. "What now?"

"I can't," came a defiant voice from underneath the shaggy, black hair.

"Can't?" Severus' voice was dangerous.

"I'm too tired." Potter sighed heavily.

"We'll just have to make sure you're rested up when you next meet the Dark Lord." Severus's eyes bored holes through the top of Potter's head.

The boy slowly raised his head and looked his professor in the eye. Nodding once, he said, "All right, Professor. I'm ready."

* * *

Andrew entered the Slytherin common room only to see Draco look at him and stomp away. Sighing, he followed the blonde, determined to get Draco's temper-tantrum over with and out of the way. He knocked before entering Draco's room and silently closed the door behind him. The Head Boy had his back turned to the door and was staring out the magically charmed window. (They were in the dungeons after all.) 

After a while, Andrew cleared his throat. Not really to speak. He didn't quite know what to say. 'Draco, you're an ass'? 'Draco, you can't walk around like you own the place, because you don't'? Neither would go over well.

"What did you think you were doing?"

"What?"

"You're supposed to stick up for _me_!"

Andrew frowned. "I…"

"And don't try to make excuses!"

"What did you want me to do? Help you beat him up?"

Draco glared at him. He rolled his eyes and said in a more normal tone of voice, "You could have at least used an interesting spell on him."

Andrew frowned even deeper. "I don't have anything against him."

"Why the hell not?!"

"What do you mean…"

"_What do I mean_?! Honestly, can't you see what's going on?"

Andrew waited.

"Fine. I'll tell you. He's the bloody saint of Gryffindor house!"

Andrew stared back.

"They let him get away with all sorts of crap and everyone still fawns over him. He's a frickin' bloody hero, after all!"

"So, you're jealous?"

Draco's face reddened. "I am _not jealous!_" he ground out.

"Fine, you're not jealous, but you sure do act like it. And you know what?"  
Draco made a face. "What?" he spit back.

"You really don't have any reason to be."

Draco looked at him incredulously. "Really?" he drawled.

"Yeah, you don't really want to have all that pressure on you, do you?"

Draco's contenance turned from menacing to confused.

"I mean – toface Voldemort and all."

Draco's face returned to its normal pale and then some. "Yes, well…"

Andrew sighed. "Look, it may not seem fair to you and in some way, it's probably not, but you've got to cut the guy some slack. He's not really a saint, you know. It's gotta be hard living up to everyone's expectations of you."

Draco swallowed hard. "Yeah," he whispered.

"And if it really comes down to defending you against spurious assailants, I'm on your side every time."

"Really?"

Andrew smiled. "Absolutely."

* * *

Severus Snape eyed his pensieve distastefully. He had still not replaced any of the memories he had removed for Potter's last Occlumency lesson. He reminded himself that it was probably better to leave them where they were than to put them back into his head. However, the Headmaster had wisely ordered him to restore the memories often, citing that it would be more difficult the longer he waited to do so. So, in his normally stubborn vein, Severus left them where they were. One more day wouldn't hurt, would it? 

Sighing, he wondered what to do about Potter. His skill at Occlumency was progressing, if slowly, but the boy's emotional control seemed nearly non-existent. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Severus sat in his large leather chair behind his desk and turned to look out the window at the setting sun. Noting that this was one luxury he did not have whilst in the dungeons, his thoughts turned to Draco Malfoy. Severus frowned and ironically noted that Hogwart's Head Boy had nearly the same problem. How one could be so insanely jealous of Harry Potter of all people was beyond the former potions teacher. However, not everyone knew Potter as well as he did. Not everyone saw past the veil of celebrity and past their own hero worship.

When Headmaster Albus Dumbledore entered the office sometime later, he found his Defense Against the Dark Arts professor lost in thought and staring out the window.

* * *

Severus sighed. Albus had insisted that he return his memories to his head and, after a distracted dinnertime and several hours of tossing, he was still trying to sort through the thoughts in his head. Normally his skill at Occlumency helped him to do this quite easily and quickly. However, he had no interest in entertaining these thoughts, leastways examining them closely enough to put them in order. 

_The first Hogsmeade weekend of the year was approaching and Severus was nervously pacing back and forth in a deserted alcove near the Charms classroom. He had no reason to be nervous. He had asked girls out to Hogsmeade before. This girl was no different really, except that she was intelligent and interesting. Yes, not pretty or beautiful or breathtaking, like he thought she must be – the woman of his dreams, that is. Just…interesting. _

_Severus took some deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heartbeat. _It's only a mutual trip to visit Hogsmeade. I can show her around. Certainly she's not familiar with the town and needs an escort. It doesn't really have to be a _date_, does it? _This line of thinking was much better than he anticipated. He decided to go with it._

_Noise from down the hall reached him and he stopped, appearing to be waiting calmly. However, his heart still mutinously raced._

"_Emmaline?"_

"_Severus."_

_He tried to suppress the smile on his face, but it only made him grimace spectacularly._

"_Is something wrong?"_

"_No," he said shortly, shaking his head a little too hard. "I was just thinking, would you like for me to show you around Hogsmeade this weekend?"_

_She was staring at him – no, she was studying him. He resisted the urge to gulp. It would have been loud._

_A small smile accompanied, "That would be nice."_

_However much he resisted it, a grin broke out on his own face. Nodding he could only smile back dumbly until the girl looked over her shoulder, noticing the empty hallway. _

"_I'm going to be late to my next class."_

"_Go on then."_

"_Bye." The smile she left him with was brilliant. _I must make her smile like that more often_, he thought._

* * *

Andrew had somehow ditched Draco – he seemed to be busy fending off Pansy Parkinson's advances during dinner – and followed Ginny out of the Great Hall. 

"Over here," a voice said as a hand reached out and pulled him behind a tapestry into a dimly lit hallway.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"So…"

"Yeah."

"Ginny, I…"

"Andrew…"

They both laughed. "Ladies first, Ginny."

She smiled and Andrew thought it was a sight that should be framed and hung in a fine art museum.

But then she frowned.

"What is it?"

"Well, there's a Hogsmeade weekend coming up and I wanted to go with you, but…"

"You don't have to officially go with me. We can just meet up in town."

"Really? You don't mind not officially having a date?"

"God, no, not if it means I can actually spend time with you."

Ginny blushed.

"I said that out loud didn't I?"

"Umhmm," Ginny nodded.

"I must remember to do that more often," he said. Somehow, his hand had found its way to her hair and was fingering a strand that had fallen over her shoulder. As he found himself leaning slightly forward, he heard footsteps and a voice furiously hissing, "Logan! Andrew, where are you?"

Andrew sighed when Ginny jumped away at the sound of Draco's voice.

"So I'll see you in town on Saturday."

She nodded mutely.

"Bye then." Impulsively, he leaned down and quickly kissed her on the cheek before ducking back out from behind the tapestry and running to catch up with Draco.

* * *

"So, how are the lessons going with Snape this time around?" 

"Better."

"Really?"

"Yes, really." Harry smiled at his best friend.

"So, you up for Quidditch practice then, mate?"

"Sure, Ron. Let's go get our brooms."

Entering the Gryffindor common room, the two boys were accosted by an irate female.

"Where have you two been?"

"Um…" Ron looked to Harry for support.

"Walking."

"That's all you've got?" Ron whispered to Harry, incredulously.

Harry shrugged nonchalantly. Hermione's eyes were narrowed into thin slits. Her hands were strategically placed on her hips – within easy reach of her wand. Her normally bushy hair was wildly flying. _Yep, _Harry thought,_ you just have to take what's coming. No getting around it._

"We have three essays due at the beginning of next week and this weekend we'll be in Hogsmeade all Saturday and you'll play with whatever toys you bought on Sunday. You'll not get any studying done at all, so you'd better start now."

"Merlin, Hermione, it's only Thursday afternoon…ouch!" Ron stopped whining abruptly when Harry elbowed him.

"You're right, Hermione. Let me go get my books."

"But, Harry! We were gonna…" Ron trailed off at the look Hermione gave him. Ever since she had gotten the Head Girl badge, she had been determined to prove not only herself worthy of the title, but was also dragging her best friends kicking and screaming with her. Harry might not say it out loud, but Ron _knew_ he'd rather be flying than writing essays. Wisely keeping his mouth shut, Ron turned and went up the boys' staircase to find his books. He sighed and shook his head before opening the door to his dorm room. He and Harry weren't even dating anyone and they were _so_ whipped.


	10. Hogsmeade

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Many thanks to reviewers – **cecelle **(thanks for listening to me go on about my dismay over this story and for your encouragement – it means so much to me), **Little** **Tigger **(thanks for letting me know your favorite line from the last chapter – I love when reviewers do that), and **Shahrezad1 **(funny how you picked up on the parallels and the author did not until you mentioned it!). This chapter has been finished for a while but I haven't posted it as Chapter 10 and I have been wrestling unmercifully since its inception. Since I've finally applied myself to it properly, Chapter 10 is well on its way to behaving. Therefore, you now get…

_P.S. cecelle – there may be some "darlings" in this chapter that need killing. Please let me know if that's the case and what exactly to do in._

_Chapter 9_

_Hogsmeade_

Severus Snape stalked through the town of Hogsmeade, his sharp eyes causing students to scuttle ahead of him and off into adjacent shops. He didn't mind patrolling the corridors of the castle. Students were expected to behave themselves or risk having points taken whilst within the castle walls. However, Hogsmeade was a place for the students to _relax_ and _enjoy_ themselves. When were the teachers supposed to get time for rest and relaxation? Ah, the holidays. Except some students didn't go home and leave them alone…

"Ah, excuse me, Professor."

Severus looked haughtily down at the person who had bumped into him, but his expression changed to interest when he saw Andrew Logan standing before him.

"Mr. Logan," Severus acknowledged him with a slight nod.

The boy seemed a bit distracted, so Severus asked what he deemed to be a relevant question. "Are you purchasing supplies for your potion today?"

Andrew looked up at his professor quizzically. "No, professor. You suggested that I procure the freshest ingredients. I have been meaning to come by and ask you when would be a good time to gather them."

"Perhaps tomorrow morning…?"

"I think that would work." Andrew frowned, "I'll have to see if I can get Draco up that early in the morning."

Severus looked at him questioningly.

"He wanted to come, too, Professor. You know, he's thinking of apprenticing to a Potions Master when he graduates. Couldn't hurt for him to come with us, could it?"

Severus nodded. "Of course." Lightly, he added, "May I suggest ice water if Mr. Malfoy refuses to get up on time?"

Andrew smirked. "Yes, Professor."

* * *

Andrew ran down the last street before the fields began. He squinted between the trees looking for anything red – Gryffindor red, red hair, red lips…

Ginny stepped out from behind a tree as Andrew came into view.

"Oh, it's you," she said, sounding relieved.

Andrew shrugged. "Who did you think it was?" Smiling he stopped before her, a little unsure what was to happen next.

"So," she said brightly.

Andrew just smiled back dumbly.

"Oh, you've never been to Hogsmeade before!"

Andrew shook his head. "Nope."

"I'll have to show you around."

"You really should. You were great in Diagon Alley."

Ginny laughed. "Except this time it's too cold for ice cream."

"So, hot chocolate then?"

"No, silly," Ginny pulled at his arm, "butterbeer."

"Butterbeer?" Andrew asked bewildered as Ginny led him back into the village.

* * *

"_You're going with the new girl, Snape?"_

_Severus nodded serenely and adjusted his robe. _

"_Shoulda figured. Seems the nerdy type to me."_

"_I'm just going to show her around…"_

"_Sure ya are." Nott grinned lasciviously before leaving the seventh-year Slytherin boys' dorm room. _

_Severus sighed, not really sure himself what he expected from the day. When he reached the common room, he didn't see her and the place was quite deserted. Deciding to try the entrance hall, he walked through the dungeons. He eventually found her outside talking to one of the Marauders. Severus stalked towards them, his face grim._

"_I think you'll like Hogsmeade. It's a wonderfully quaint little village. Completely a wizarding community, too."_

"_It sounds interesting, especially the history of the place."_

"_Yes, it's like Hogwarts, very old."_

_Severus sneered as Remus Lupin smiled down at the newest Slytherin._

"_Lupin," the addressed Gryffindor looked up, surprise written on his face, "lost the rest of your motley crew?"_

_Emmaline stood and greeted him with a pleasant smile. "Hello, Severus."_

_The rage he felt for Lupin was temporarily forgotten as he stared at her._

_Remus looked between them amusedly before clearing his throat. "Well, I'd better find the rest of the gang."_

_Severus' attention returned to the despicable creature when Emmaline turned back to Lupin. _

"_Goodbye then."_

_When the other boy was out of earshot, he turned back to her. "You shouldn't talk to him."_

_She looked at him skeptically. "I know that Slytherins and Gryffindors don't traditionally get along…"_

"_That's not the reason," said Severus, his voice hard._

"_Will you tell me the reason?"_

_Severus shook his head. "I can't. You must trust me." He took her hands in his. "Promise me you won't talk to him."_

_She shook her head. "I know you mean well, but I usually make up my own mind about people. I'm not going to defer to you just because you think you know someone whom you probably never talked to that much anyway."_

_Severus was speechless. He was not only a prefect, but also a seventh-year and a forbidding sight at 6 feet 2 inches tall usually clad in all black. He was used to the younger Slytherins deferring to his judgement._

"_Come on, let's go," she said as she walked toward the waiting carriages._

* * *

Draco scowled as he saw with whom Andrew was sitting. He walked over, determined to break this up – right here, right now – but Andrew looked up at him and smiled.

"Hiya, Draco!"

That was something he didn't expect. Where was the defiance? Where was the anger? For Merlin's sake, he was sitting with a Weasley and not just any Weasley – the girl Weasley!

"What do you think you're doing?" Draco's eyes narrowed when they came to rest upon that other distasteful shade of red – Weasley hair.

"We're having a butterbeer. Do you want one?"

Draco looked at his newest friend. He was definitely off his rocker. Mental. Crazy, even. "No, I do _not want a butterbeer!_ I do not want to join _your _company." Draco sneered at Ginny.

Andrew looked straight at him, as sane looking as he was this morning, and asked, "This is about Ginny, isn't it?"

Draco looked back incredulously. "_No_, it's about the hamster you've got running around in your brain. _Of course it's about the Weaslette!" _he hissed.

"Sit down, Draco."

"No."

"Oh, come on…"

"Not happening, Logan."

Sigh.

"Alright, come here," said Andrew, dragging a protesting Draco outside.

"Look, she was just showing me around Hogsmeade."

"I was going to do that. You went off before I could…"

"And I like her."

"So?"

"_So?_"

"It's not like it's going to work out."

"Name one reason why it won't."

"One, she's a Gryffindor and you're a Slytherin."

Andrew shook his head, dismayed by his friend's narrow-mindedness.

"Two, she's got numerous older brothers – one of which is still at Hogwarts – that will have your head for dating her."

"But she…"

"Three, you really can do better."

"Really? And just who are _you_ dating these days?"

Draco looked dismayed. "Ugh, don't bring that up! Look, that's not the point…"

"Actually it was point number three."

"Just don't blame me when things go up in flames." Draco looked at him, menace playing over his features. "You'll see." He turned and went off down the street and Andrew lost him from sight in a group of students that emerged from Zonko's.

* * *

Severus Snape watched from behind a signpost as Andrew Logan and Draco Malfoy fought verbally. He remembered a similar spat he had had with Draco's father before Draco was born.

"_You must admit, you can do better than her, Severus."_

"_It might seem so from your perspective, Lucius, but I do not think I could find someone better suited for me even if I searched the earth until the end of my days."_

"_You always did have a flair for the dramatic."_

_Severus frowned over his glass of brandy. "I'm not being dramatic, I'm being realistic."_

_Lucius smirked at his obviously bewitched friend. "She has you right where she wants you."_

"_That may be, but it also happens to be where _I_ want to be."_

"_What? Between her thighs?" Severus glared as Lucius smirk deepened. After he took a sip from his glass, Lucius continued. "I know that your parents would like for you to carry on the Snape family line, but I think there are grander things out there for you than marriage and children."_

"_But you've just married, Lucius."_

"_Ah, well, how could I resist? Narcissa is a lovely thing. She will be a comfort to me in my old age, I'm sure." _

_Severus raised his brow. "And now?"_

_Lucius made a face of annoyance. "She wants to redecorate."_

_Severus chuckled. "Not all of Malfoy Manor?"_

_Lucius sighed. "Eventually." He sounded a bit put out. "You don't know how good you've got it – not being tied down. You can work all night and not get nagged at for not visiting your wife's bed. You can stay out with the men and not be berated upon your return for not flooing!"_

_Severus smirked as Lucius downed the rest of his glass of brandy._

"_I should not mind as long as the making up part still applies?"_

"_Not as often as it should, my friend. Not as often as it should."_

Severus frowned as he returned to the present. That was the same month that she vanished from his life and he threw himself into his work. It was really something he'd rather not remember. However, he had to train Potter in Occlumency. It was a necessary sacrifice – putting up with the stray memory from his past – to win a much bigger war. And, by Merlin, he was going to get through this!

Severus entered The Three Broomsticks and found a seat near the door. It was getting late and he meant to encourage the students within to start heading out and back to the castle. Madame Rosmerta brought him a warm butterbeer and he sipped it absent-mindedly. The taste took him back in time as he stared at a warmly chatting Andrew Logan and Ginny Weasley.

"_Oh, God, that's horrible!" Emmaline grimaced as she wiped her mouth._

"_But, everyone loves butterbeer…"_

"_It's much too sweet and rich like most British foods." She grinned, "And I thought pumpkin juice was bad."_

"_Pumpkin juice?"_

"_Have you ever seen them making it?"_

"_What?"_

"_You know, squeezing the pumpkin?" Her eyes glinted mischievously._

"_Squeezing the…Emmaline, it's from a _powder_." He mused over the laughing girl's appearance. Her honeyed-brown hair was windblown and her cheeks and nose were a blotchy red. Despite her plain appearance, Severus had never had so much fun in Hogsmeade before and he'd been coming to Hogsmeade for five years now. Somehow, seeing the old wizarding village from a stranger's eyes made everything much more interesting and exciting._

"_It is nice to hold at the very least. It's warm." Severus looked down at her hands around the stone mug and remembered trying to hold them several times that day. Emmaline had been far too active to leisurely hold hands as they walked through the streets. She had to point at, touch, and explore every point of interest. He looked up to see her staring at him._

_She sighed. "I'm sorry for dragging you all over the place, but I really did enjoy seeing the old village school and the theatre from the 1500s. Remus was right; this place really is a treasure trove of history."_

_Severus frowned at the reference to the Marauder and the use of his first name. "Yes, well, perhaps we should start back?"_

"_Oh, yes, of course."_

_The couple rose from their seats and adjusted cloaks and scarves. _

"_Thank you for coming with me today. It's always nice to have somebody to share experiences with."_

Severus blinked as Andrew and Ginny rose from their table and made their way toward the door. He had been watching a young, disheveled Slytherin girl with laughing eyes and smiling lips approach him. He sighed and fished out a few coins from his pocket. Tossing them on the table, he walked from the warm room into the cold outside.


	11. Potions Are Everything

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Let's just say the HP Lexicon website is addicting…so many facts and theories to explore! Just call me Hermione… Thanks to reviewers, **cecelle** (thanks for the feedback and for keeping me going) and **duj **(meant that British food was rich, not sweet; guess I didn't structure the sentence for the meaning to get across – sorry!).

_Chapter 10_

_Potions Are Everything_

Severus met the two young men in the entrance hall before breakfast.

"There are several ingredients we will need to acquire from the greenhouses," began Severus in his 'professor' voice.

"Do we have to guess what those are?" asked Draco with a smirk. It was just like Professor Snape to continue the formality, even though he was with his two most talented potions students.

Severus frowned. "No, of course not. Mr. Logan already knows what he needs as do you, Mr. Malfoy."

Draco's smirk faded slightly. Instead of making a smart remark back, he settled for an acknowledging nod. He didn't like the glare on Snape's face. Draco thought he'd been in a terrible mood all term and didn't see the end of it coming anytime soon.

The small group entered the deserted greenhouses. Severus watched while the boys gathered ingredients for their respective potions. Although Andrew couldn't properly complete his potion, he was at the least attempting the base potion. Draco's independent research was only an extension of Severus' latest research. It was almost a certainty that Draco would assume the position of apprentice under the Potions Master next year.

Hearing Andrew muttering over the periwinkles, he strode over to the boy.

"Is there a problem?"

"Hmm?" murmured Andrew, peeking under a petal. Looking up, he said, "Not very good quality, Professor. I'm afraid that these have been eaten on by some insect."

Severus leaned over to inspect the plants himself and saw jagged leaves and petals full of holes. Straightening, he declared, "No, these will not do. I shall speak to Professor Sprout. Although a seemingly lesser plant, periwinkle plays an important role in many of the potions I stock for Madam Pomfrey."

"Blood-clotting potions probably."

"Correct, Mr. Malfoy. It's a pity I cannot give you points as this is not a class project."

Draco scowled. Since when did Professor Snape overlook the opportunity to award points to Slytherin house? He shook his head in confusion and turned back to the Black Hellebore he was gathering. Andrew soon joined him and the two gathered the roots silently for a few minutes.

When they had finished, Andrew walked over to Professor Snape, who was looking at some late-blooming heartsease potted near the greenhouse door.

"Sir, can we harvest the mandrake root now?"

The mature mandrake plants were kept in a restricted section of the greenhouse as the cries of an adult mandrake are deadly. Severus' was not hesitant to subject his two best students to such a risk; it was a part of their required curriculum that they be able to harvest those potions ingredients that were available around Hogwarts. Nodding shortly, he led the way.

Draco and Andrew exited the greenhouses before their Professor.

"Nearly passed out once, I think," remarked Andrew.

"You really shouldn't admit things like that."

"I seriously think I needed an extra dampening spell on those earmuffs."

"You're alive. What's there to worry about?"

"Yeah, but what about next time?"

Draco grimaced and kept walking. He never knew anyone to be so cautious! Frowning as a picture of his father flickered through his mind, he drove it away by asking loudly, "Where to next, Professor?"

"We're going along the road to Hogmeade."

Draco looked distractedly at his hands. The dragonhide gloves provided for student use always scratched something awful. It was just like Hogwarts to provide them with substandard supplies. "I thought we weren't going to buy anything…"

"Patience, Mr. Malfoy. Patience," Severus repeated, gesturing towards the gates of Hogwarts. The two boys walked ahead as Severus hung back, observing them. Years of being in Slytherin house and his subsequent career in the Dark Lord's service had taught him the necessity and usefulness of observation as well as how to do it both discretely and thoroughly. Andrew's stride was long and loping as if he were on a casual stroll. Draco walked with his head down, hands in his pockets and trudged along as if he were on his way to the gallows. It was uncharacteristic of the young Malfoy, who was known to strut in front of the student population, but then, Severus surmised, it _was_ still early.

Andrew came to a stop and moved toward a particularly mundane plant. It appeared to be a common weed along the roadside, but this was the best specimen of such in the immediate area. Andrew began gathering the stems that had small, lance-shaped leaves and a tendency to snap at the stem-joints.

"What in the world do you need pigweed for?"

"Knotgrass."

"Okay, what do you need knotgrass for?"

Andrew smiled, still gathering the plant.

"_Oh_. Are you making up a new blood-clotting potion then?"

Andrew shook his head, still smiling. "I'm still not telling you."

Draco made a face at him, feeling slightly juvenile. Looking over the plant, he asked, "Do you need any of the flowers? I think there's a few that are salvageable." Despite his animosity towards the other boy for yesterday's display of rebellion, they were gathering potions ingredients. Draco had his priorities and 'quality potions supplies' was high on that list.

"Sure," said Andrew, tugging on a particularly stubborn stem.

Severus surveyed the landscape as the boys worked. He wasn't expecting trouble – not with three Slytherins obviously gathering potions ingredients – but he had a feeling that they were being watched all the same. It was better to be cautious than carefree and, after all, these were his two best potions students.

"Okay, last thing – oak bark."

"Now I _know_ you're making a blood-clotting potion!"

Andrew raised an eyebrow. "Am I now?"

"Yes! Periwinkle, black hellebore, knotgrass and now oak bark – they're all used to stop hemorrhaging!"

"Yep!"

"But you're not making a blood-clotting potion?"

"Not really."

"You're really going to make me guess?"

"Guess all you want. I'm still not telling you."

"Why not?!"

"Boys," Professor Snape's smooth, low voice interrupted the petty debate. "We will gather the last ingredients on Hogwart's grounds. Shall we proceed?" Severus gestured back up the road towards the castle. He wanted them to go first so he could guard their rear. To his relief, the talk ceased and the three trudged back up to the castle gates in silence.

_

* * *

The two of them were walking along the road back to the castle._

"_I don't see why we have to gather all these ingredients. Why couldn't we just purchase what you needed?"_

_Severus sighed, not for the first time that day. "Familiarity with the entire plant, its growing location and environment, and the method of gathering makes one more intimate with the potion itself. It is much easier to foresee what idiosyncrasies may crop up in a particular batch if you know all of the circumstances behind the ingredients."_

_Emmaline laughed. "You never cease to amaze me, Severus," she got out between breaths, trying desperately to keep up with his long-legged stride, "with the depth of your love of potions."_

_Severus smirked and turned to look at the girl. She smiled back at him._

* * *

Severus sighed. Even in the midst of work, helping two students with their independent research projects, he was doomed to think of her. Noting the position of the sun in the sky and thinking that breakfast must have already begun, Severus recalled that he hadn't known he was in love with her then, but he remembered how it felt and those were definitely the right words to describe his feeling for her at the time. In the present, Severus scowled. The brisk fall day did not remind him of that Indian summer day twenty years ago, yet he could not help thinking of her.

Andrew stopped before they reached the gates and pointed off to the left. "Look at that oak, Draco."

"So?"

"I think it's the best one I've seen so far."

"What exactly makes _it _different from all the others?" Draco nearly shouted.

"What do you mean?"

"What do I mean? You have a knack for picking out the most mundane one out of the bunch and remarking that it's special! And no one else has a clue what you could possibly see in it!"

Andrew fully turned to face Draco. It was perhaps the angriest Draco had ever seen him. In a tight voice, Andrew replied, "What difference does it make what anybody else thinks? It's what _I_ think that counts, Draco. It's what makes _me_ happy that matters. I do _not_ let anyone tell _me_ what I like and what I don't like. If you want to _continue_ to be manipulative, I suggest you find someone who's _lacking_ in determination and common sense. Crabbe or Goyle maybe." Andrew finished his tirade and turned back to the oak. Seeing someone walking steadily towards them from the trees, he turned back to his two companions.

"Draco?" No response. Draco had stormed off towards the gates and stopped, his back turned towards Andrew, apparently sulking. "Um, Professor?" The defense professor had stopped several yards down the path towards Hogsmeade and was looking up at the castle unseeingly. Andrew turned back to the newcomer and resisted the urge to jump when he realized how close the man was now. Instead, Andrew studied him as he approached. Although walking over uneven ground, his stride was steady and sure. He wasn't openly smiling, but his features appeared welcoming. The man wasn't anyone he'd seen before, but Andrew thought he looked like someone he knew.

When the man stopped in front of him and offered his hand in greeting, Andrew took it, and noting the firm grip, said, "You must be Draco's father." At the man's slight nod, he added, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Malfoy. I'm Andrew Logan."

"Logan?" said Mr. Malfoy, as if testing the name. "I do not believe I know anyone by the name of Logan. Tell me, what is the origin of your family name?"

"I have no idea," Andrew replied, wishing he could be more helpful.

"Yet you," said Mr. Malfoy, fingering the Slytherin crest on Andrew's robes, "were sorted into Slytherin house?"

"Yes, the Sorting Hat put me there," Andrew remembered somewhat bitterly.

"Are you not happy with your sorting?"

Andrew appeared to give this some serious thought. "No, I am not happy with others' perceptions regarding my sorting."

Mr. Malfoy did smile then, almost conspiratorially. He looked just over Andrew's right shoulder and down at his son.

"Father." It was a simple acknowledgement. Andrew would have been curious about his parent's unexpected visit, but Draco gave nothing away, as usual.

"This is your friend you have spoken of so often?"

There was silence for a moment, during which he may have been nodding his head ,before Draco spoke quickly, "Yes, Father. He was sorted into Slytherin House at the start of term feast."

"I have already established that, Draco."

Andrew turned to look at his friend then and saw that he was standing as tall as he could (which still made him shorter than either Andrew or Mr. Malfoy) and holding his head up, chin raised slightly. He was the picture of a boy trying to please his father and Andrew thought it a bit sad. His mother would love him no matter his posture, although she might complain if he slouched too often.

"How are you faring at Hogwarts, Mr. Logan?"

"Fine, sir. Thank you for asking."

Draco envied his friend who was casually talking to his father. Andrew never stood up straight; he didn't have to in order to reach a height of at least six feet. Standing next to his father, Draco thought that they looked more alike than the actual father and son. Draco had taken after his mother for most of his features. The only physical attributes he could honestly say were from his father were his white-blond hair and gray eyes. Looking again at Andrew, standing casually with his hands in his pockets, Draco stood a little straighter.

"Andrew is quite the scholar. He'll be giving Granger a run for her money this term."

Severus looked up to see his old friend, Lucius Malfoy, talking to the two boys. After giving his heart a moment to start beating again, a familiar voice sounded in his head and he pictured Emmaline's dismayed countenance, "_Whenever Lucius shows up, you know it's never good news."_ Banishing such thoughts from his head, he moved toward the group.

"Is that so? Do you agree, Severus?" Mr. Malfoy asked of the professor who had finally come out of his daydream to join them.

Professor Snape frowned, his arms crossed over his chest. "Lucius. I am afraid we have no time for idle chat. These students," he looked at them both as if they had done something that warranted punishment, "need to process their potions ingredients immediately."

"Ah, yes, Severus. How could I forget your obsession with potions?" Lucius Malfoy smirked widely at the professor. In fact, it seemed to Andrew that the more Mr. Malfoy smiled, the deeper Professor Snape frowned. "They come…even before family, do they not?" he asked, glancing at his son.

Severus face darkened. He had really been caught unawares due to those nasty Occlumency lessons! Pursing his lips at the bitterness such a task brought up in him, he chose to ignore Lucius' barbs, as he so often had in the past. "If potions were really the only reason, of course you could visit your son, but there are policies and procedures, which if you'll remember, require you to go through the Headmaster."

Lucius' smirk turned into a clenched jaw. "I'm afraid I don't have time for that today, Severus. I must really be going." He turned to Andrew and Draco. "Until next time, boys." Lucius apparated away with a sharp pop.

Severus steered the boys up the road towards the gates and literally shoved them along until they were safely on the other side of the wrought iron. Only then did he turn around to survey the deserted landscape. As he ushered the boys inside the entrance hall, Severus couldn't help thinking that the pleasant scene was too quiet – not a bird chittering or leaves rustling in the slight breeze.


	12. Beginning to Mend

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Thanks to my loyal reviewer **cecelle** who's now grown into my beta. Thanks for the helpful advice, the gentle encouragement, and the thoughtful and amusing anecdotes. You're truly the best!

_Chapter 11_

_Beginning to Mend_

Andrew frowned as he puzzled over the Arithmancy problem. He was ensconced in a far corner of the library away from prying eyes and murmuring voices. The past week had been hell or as close to it as his prior experiences would allow. After returning from Hogsmeade – he had actually ridden back with Ginny – the rest of the school had looked at him differently. The Hufflepuffs thought he was awfully brave, or foolish, to be a Slytherin trying to date a Gryffindor. The Ravenclaws seemed of the opinion that he would come around at some point and admit it was generally a bad idea for Slytherins and Gryffindors to date each other. The rest of the school was shooting him daggers of loathing, disappointment, and contempt.

Sighing, Andrew forced his brain to wrap itself around the problem at hand and leave the 'big' problem be for the moment. He dipped his quill into the nearby inkpot and had just begun laboriously scratching away at his answer when he heard soft footfalls approach.

"There you are."

"Yep, here I am." Andrew looked up at Draco. "Hiding from everyone."

"This came for you." Draco extended a letter to him.

Andrew took it and nearly yelped. "It's from my mom!"

Draco's brow rose. "Really?" he asked, as if Andrew was stating the obvious.

"Yes! I've been waiting forever for her to write back!"

"I'd hardly call a month 'forever'."

Andrew frowned at him. "Your parents have written to you at least once a week."

"They have." He rolled his eyes at Andrew's sullen look. "It's not all that interesting, you know. They just say…"

"What?"

"They just say that they're counting on me to be the best in my studies and the best Quidditch player and captain," Draco sighed. "Oh, yes, and be the devastatingly handsome guy they know me to be."

Andrew laughed at his smirking friend. "Are you sure that's not your fan club letters you're talking about?"

"Fan club? Who me?" asked Draco, feigning innocence.

Andrew frowned as a thought occurred to him. "You know, you probably shouldn't hang around me too long. The rest of the Slytherins might just decide that you're guilty by association."

Draco shrugged. "I have plenty of influence with them. I've got two more minutes at least."

Andrew cracked a smile. "Go on. I'm going to read the letter from my mom."

Draco turned to go, but stopped and looked back. "A word of advice, if I may?"

Andrew motioned for him to go ahead.

"Let it go. Break up with her."

Andrew shook his head. "Even if I wanted to, how can I? I can't even get close enough to talk to her. All the Gryffindors crowd around her."

Draco didn't know what to say. It was a rarity for him.

"I don't even know if she's suffering as much as I am."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Quit being so dramatic! Just find someone else," he hissed as he turned on his heel and stalked away.

Andrew sighed, thinking of Ginny and wishing he could see her. "I don't even know if she _wants_ to talk to me," he said to himself. Hoping that his mom's words would be comforting if not necessarily helpful, he tore open the letter.

_Andrew,_

_My apologies for not writing to you sooner. I've been busy at work – as usual – and your letters came so thick and fast that it was difficult to know to which one I should reply. As soon as I had gotten my thoughts on your latest letter straightened out, a new one arrived. Kenneth has taken some vacation – finally – so I now have time to reply. I am, however, keeping my fingers crossed that another letter doesn't swoop in while I'm composing this one!_

_Things are much quieter here now that you've gone overseas. I understand that you've taken all the ruckus with you? I do hope that you realize that young men and women your age tend to make mountains out of molehills when it comes to relationships. You are much too young to be in a serious relationship and shouldn't get discouraged if the girl you like is unattainable for whatever reason. There are, as the old adage goes, plenty of fish in the sea. Don't laugh! Remember do as I say, not as I do! At any rate, I suggest that you do what _you_ think is best in your situation. I'm not there and, therefore, don't know all the subtleties and nuances of your relationships with those around you. Just _be careful! _I want you to come home in one piece!_

_Although you were reluctant to write about your independent research project, I trust that it is a worthwhile one if two of your professors have condoned it. I wish you the best in your endeavor, but try to remember that most research is unsuccessful and the biggest successes have come merely through 'happy accidents.' _

_I hope you enjoyed your trip to Hogsmeade. I trust there were staff from Hogwarts looking after you? In these times, I would not think it wise to allow a gaggle of teenagers to traipse around without some supervision – and protection. _

_Reading over this, I realize I sound more motherly than I have been the previous sixteen years of your life. I attribute it to the fact that you are thousands of miles away and I cannot be there for you in a heartbeat like I could were you still at home. So, you must forgive me for being a little overprotective. It's not like I'm visiting you every weekend and asking you unending questions about your love life (or lack thereof)! I will reserve that privilege for when I'm old and withered and you're a talented, up-and-coming university professor. _

_With Much Love,_

_Mom_

Andrew sighed. He looked over the letter again; the familiar angular writing that was only slightly feminine marched unhesitatingly across the page. Somewhere deep inside he knew that this obsession with Ginny was only because he was ultimately trying to prove a point. As long as he didn't lose sight of that point, there just might be a way for their relationship to work out.

* * *

"Thanks for coming along."

Andrew's companion gave a short shrug. They walked for a bit towards the lake. "How are you doing?" Andrew winced at his own words. They seemed very awkward, and he kicked himself mentally for the inane small talk.

"Why do you ask?"

"Just…wondering."

"I'm not the one who's dating a Gryffindor."

"Does it count as dating if you never see the girl?"

Silence.

"Well?"

Draco turned around suddenly. "What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry the only girl you're interested in won't talk to you? That I know how it feels? That it'll be okay and things will get better?"

Andrew frowned. "No, I…"

"Because it doesn't work like that! _Life_, real life, doesn't _work_ _like that!_"

"Okay." Andrew wasn't sure why Draco was so angry. Sure, he didn't want him spending time with the Gryffindors, but Andrew hadn't been. Maybe it was the fact that Andrew saw something in Ginny that Draco didn't or that Draco didn't want him to see. Somehow, he had the feeling he'd done something wrong, but wasn't quite sure _what_ yet.

Draco turned back around, and the two boys walked in silence to the edge of the lake. In the shade of an old oak tree, Draco bent to harvest some wood sorrel. Andrew began carefully peeling the bark with the special knife Professor Snape had lent him.

"Ouch!" Andrew looked up and saw Draco rubbing his head.

"What's wrong?" Something hit Andrew in the back of the head and he turned around, massaging the spot, to see a small creature with a flat face and limbs like branches pick up another twig and hurl it at him.

"Bowtruckles."

Draco rolled his eyes at him. "Of course. I wouldn't have recognized it if you hadn't told me."

"This is no time to be sarcastic! There'll be more of them shortly. _Diffindo!_"

"You idiot! That's only going to make him madder! _Ow!_ That was an acorn!" Draco picked up another acorn lying on the ground and threw it at the bowtruckle.

"You missed him!"

"I have eyes, Logan!"

"_Petrificus…ouch!"_

"That's not a spell!"

"Obviously!"

"_Reducto!"_ The creature flew backwards off his perch and landed with a thud and a crash as if a small tree had been felled. "That's taken care of him for now."

The boys looked at each other.

"But there'll be more…"

"Right."

The boys scrambled to finish before more bowtruckles showed up. Andrew went back to stripping the bark, and Draco began gathering acorns. Suddenly it was very quiet, not even the sound of the giant squid playing in the lake reached their ears. Not daring to move, Draco and Andrew cast glances around, unconsciously holding their breaths. A single twig snapped, and the two boys tensed. A few more snaps were heard, and then multiple snaps where heard in multiple directions.

"Run!" they both shouted and sprinted up toward the castle as fast as their legs could carry them.

* * *

The question: How to talk to Ginny?

Andrew looked around the Great Hall from his lone seat at the end of the Slytherin table. Draco was still angry with him, and the rest of the Slytherins were definitely still not speaking to him. His gaze alighted on red hair at the Gryffindor table. Ginny's brother, Ron, was conversing animatedly with Harry, probably about Quidditch. Hermione was primly eating at his left side. Suddenly, it came to him.

The answer: Get in good with her friends and family.

Andrew smiled for the first time since reading his mother's letter. Now he only had to find a way to convince Hermione, Harry, and Ron that he was worthy enough to be Ginny's boyfriend.

After several days of trying to talk to any of them, Andrew was desperate. He hadn't seen Ginny, and the others were either surrounded by other Gryffindors or in class with the Slytherins. Finally, Andrew got his break. One golden Sunday afternoon in late October, he saw Hermione hurrying down the seventh floor corridor by herself. Andrew had taken to sitting on a wide window ledge near the stairs on that floor. It was the perfect place to read – and to hide from everyone. As quickly and as quietly as he could, he stole down the corridor after her, running over again in his head what he would say to convince her that he wasn't a threat to Ginny.

Andrew ran through a door after Hermione and found himself in a large room that reminded him of a school gym – if it had been built in the middle ages. His preoccupation with the décor meant that he didn't notice the other people in the room until a familiar voice called out "Oy, what's a slimy Slytherin doing in here!" Looking around, Andrew noticed that there was a large group of students from several different years and all the houses except Slytherin. Suddenly, a red head was in his face and it wasn't the one he wanted to see.

"What're you doing here?" yelled Ron, poking him in the chest. "Come to spy for your best friend, ferret-faced Malfoy?" Andrew could only shake his head, the suddenness of Ron's verbal attack and his proximity were overwhelming.

"Ron!" Hermione elbowed her way through the crowd that was gathering around the two boys. Turning to him, she asked very primly, as if on the edge of anger or fear, "Could you tell us why you're here?"

"I..I…" Andrew cleared his throat. "I was just following you."

Ron swung his head to glare at Hermione. "You're supposed to make sure you're not followed!" Hermione opened her mouth to reply but stopped short when a certain black-haired boy stepped forward.

"Why are you here?"

"I just followed Hermione."

"Why were _you_ following _her_!"

Andrew sighed. This was the part where he ingratiated himself to Ginny's friends and her brother. "I just wanted to talk to her. Thought she was going somewhere to study."

"And _why_ would you want to talk to her?" asked Ron, a suspicious glint in his eyes.

"Ron." A stern look from Harry had Ron stepping back. Harry took his place in front of Andrew. Instead of asking another question, he merely raised one eyebrow and waited. A fleeting thought – that Draco and Professor Snape used much the same tactic when trying to get information out of someone – ran through Andrew's head before he spoke up.

"I wanted to talk to her about Ginny." Something in Harry's expression hardened. "I'm having a real hard time with the Slytherins – you know how they feel about all this – and I just wanted to," Andrew gulped, not wanting to say what he had to, yet desperately hoping it would pay off, "talk to her."

"Just talk?"

"Yeah, I wanted to know how she's doing. If she wanted to still see me."

"Obviously she doesn't or else she'd have talked to you before now," Ron huffed.

"Oh!" Andrew saw a flaming head of hair move up through the sea of faces towards him. "How do _you_ know what I want, Ron?" To his credit, Ron did look sheepish, but only a little bit. Andrew searched Ginny's eyes, when she turned to look at him, for an answer to his question. She was studying him uncertainly.

"Well?"

"I…don't know."

Andrew shrugged. "That's okay."

"But, you're a pariah in your own house!" Hermione exclaimed, indignantly.

Andrew shrugged again, but added a smile. "That's okay."

Ginny blushed a little, but Ron stormed forward. "You're still chummy with ferret-boy."

"He doesn't know what that refers to, Ron," came Harry's weary voice.

"_Mal-foy_," Ron over pronounced.

Andrew grimaced. "He…He's…Well, let's just say he doesn't condone me dating a Gryffindor, or hanging out with one, or even having gone to a muggle school… " Andrew waved his hand as if to indicate that the list went on. "Besides all that, he won't do anything to alienate the other Slytherins, including keeping me as a friend." Andrew frowned. He hated to put Draco in such an unflattering light, but when in Rome…

"When did you go to a muggle school?"

Andrew looked Harry in the eyes. "Before I entered Richmond Public for Magical Students, when I was eleven." Andrew shrugged nonchalantly. "Just rode the bus with the rest of the kids in my neighborhood."

"You're not muggleborn, are you?"

Andrew shook his head. "Nope, my mom's magical."

"And your dad?"

Andrew's face simultaneously fell and twisted into a combination of deep thought and puzzlement. "I don't know."

"You don't know…" Ron managed to appear both confused and skeptical at the same time.

"Ron!"

"Hmm…" Harry appeared to be deep in thought and Andrew wasn't about to interrupt him.

Ginny, however, looked at Andrew thoughtfully. Andrew's mother would have recognized the lost look on his face. It ate at him that he knew so little about his dad, but he only had his mom to rely on for that information, and she only gave it out rarely, usually in a bout of weakness. He had often wondered why those seemed to happen in the middle of the summer – the time when most other people felt happiest, what with the sunshine and all.

"Do you swear to never speak to anyone about this room and anything that happens in it?"

"Um, yes," Andrew finished more forcefully than he had begun.

"Harry, you can't…" Harry shushed the chorus of dissent with a gesture of his hand.

"Do you swear?"

"I swear."

Harry looked at him as if waiting for a more serious response. Andrew jumped to respond with the most solemn promise he could think of.

"I swear on my love for my mother that I will not tell anyone about this room or what happens within its walls."

Ginny stepped forward then. "That's good enough."

Harry merely nodded. The rest of the crowd was silent.

"Right, let's get started then." Harry made his way up to a raised platform and the rest of the group dispersed throughout the large room.

* * *

_Mom,_

_I know you worry about me, even if you don't let it show most of the time. Just know that I've begun to figure things out – I've found time to spend with Ginny (away from Draco), and I've begun to patch things up with him. His independent research project and mine both require a potion, and we work pretty well together – gathering ingredients and in the lab. I lack a key ingredient that would actually make my potion _work,_ so I'm only creating the base. Next week, I have a meeting with my advisors to discuss the potion, and then it'll primarily be library work and drafting my thesis._

_I'm glad you've got some down time. Remember to use it to _relax_. And tell Kenneth that I said not to work you too hard. Hah! I know, he'll just say that you do it to yourself, but Mom, you've got to take a break every once in a while – if only to sleep. See, I know you!_

_Miss you lots. I'd write more, but I've got this killer essay due tomorrow AM for Defense. The professor is very strict regarding grammar and content, and I want to do well in his class. He's been great as far as helping out with my project, and I don't want to let him down!_

_Love,_

_Andrew_


	13. The Other Side

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ A special thanks this time around to my beta-reader and avid reviewer, **cecelle**, who prodded me to get this out mostly because she wants to beta the _next_ chapter!

_Chapter 12_

_The Other Side_

"I hope you know what you're doing, Harry," remarked Ernie McMillan as the Hufflepuff contingent left the Room of Requirement.

"It'll turn out alright, Ernie," Harry reassured him. "You'll see."

Once the others had left, Harry turned back to find only Ron, Hermione and Ginny remaining.

"How can you be so sure about that Slytherin, Harry?"

"He has a name, _Ron_."

"All Slytherins have names, but that doesn't mean I gotta use 'em."

"At least tell us why you think this is a good idea, Harry?" Hermione requested, hoping to head off the brother-sister argument.

"Do you remember on the train when he was talking about America and what it was like to live there?" Harry asked.

The other three nodded their heads. Ron appeared to squint at the far wall as if trying to remember the conversation better.

"I just can't believe that someone who grew up like Andrew would be on Voldemort's side, even if his best friend is Draco Malfoy."

"Wait a minute!" Ron interjected, his face turning red. "You're basing this on something he _said_ and a _feeling_ you have! That's bloody ridiculous, that is! We're talking about defeating the darkest wizard since Grindelwald!"

"Yes, Ron, we know, but…"

"No! No buts! This is a war…!"

"Ron, you're absolutely right." Harry stepped over to stand directly in front of his best friend.

"I am?" Ron squeaked disbelievingly.

"Yes," Harry nodded. "This _is_ a war. And we need everyone we can get our hands on to help us out. Now, despite his _house_, do you feel in your gut that you can trust him?"

"Yes." Ginny's clear voice rang through the room.

"Yes," said Hermione, more quietly.

"I don't know, Harry," Ron said, sure that he was right but not wanting to go against his best friend. "I'm not sure I can trust a Slytherin, even if it was, I don't know…"

"A relative?" asked Hermione.

"Fleur Delacour?" teased Ginny.

"NO!" Ron blushed at the memories that brought up. "No, I mean, it's just been ingrained, I think…"

"It's okay, Ron," said a confident Harry. "You'll just be _our_ Mad-Eye Moody."

Ron punched Harry's arm as the girls giggled.

"Ouch!" Harry laughed and punched Ron back.

"Okay, okay, I get it. But, Harry, really, we should keep an eye on him."

"No pun intended, eh, Ron?"

"Nope, none." Ron was still blushing as they all left the room.

* * *

Harry ran down the hallway to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. He was extremely late. He had been deep in thought, and old habits had led his feet down to the dungeons when he knew very well that Snape was now on the third floor. He should know – he'd been there often enough lately. The memory of the last lesson wasn't going away anytime soon either. Snape had attacked him mercilessly, later stating that the "Dark Lord" would have done the same. Harry shuddered at that thought and braced himself to enter the classroom. This time, he would be the one showing no mercy.

Flinging the door open, Harry yelled, "_Legilimens_!" pointing his wand where he knew Snape's desk was located. He barely noticed the door slamming shut behind him as he was pulled into Snape's memories…

_In a dark hallway, Snape waited for someone. He was anxious and peered around, head swiveling fiercely to search out the origin of any sound. Soft and confident footsteps filled his ears and he knew that the person he was waiting for was very near. A young girl appeared – about Harry's age – and she seemed surprised and pleased to see him._

"_Severus! What are you doing lurking in a dark hallway? Let's go sit in the library; you can see the snow there…what's wrong?" she asked as his expression darkened and turned serious._

"_You're still talking to him."_

"_Severus, we've already discussed this…"_

"_No!" he cut her off, grabbing her hand as if willing her to understand. "He's not the right…sort for you…"_

"_What do you mean?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. "Is this because I'm a pureblood and he's not?"_

_Severus shook his head. "No, the Lupins are a pureblooded family as far as anyone knows…"_

"_Then what is it?"_

"_I can't say."_

"_You can't say," the girl repeated dryly. Sighing, she removed her hand from his, "Severus, I'm not going to stop talking to Remus just because he's a Gryffindor. That's a stupid and ridiculous reason. If you've got something more substantial, just tell me."_

"_I can't," Severus whispered almost brokenly. _

_The girl crossed her arms stubbornly. "Then we'll have to disagree."_

"_Emmaline…" Severus whimpered, and then he was kissing her. It happened so fast that his brain had little time to process "why" he decided to do so. One moment he was standing several feet in front of her, and the next he had crossed that space in a quick stride. Holding her face in his hands, he tried desperately to convey in that kiss why she mattered to him, even if he didn't know exactly why himself. It was his first real kiss, truth be told. He had kissed girls before, but they were usually Lucius' cast-offs. Those were kisses of exploration and experimentation. This was a real kiss – unsure of its acceptance and hesitantly rough in its insistence._

_When he pulled away – finally – perhaps only a few seconds had elapsed though it had seemed much longer. Her hands had come to rest on his upper arms as if to hold him where he was._

"_Trust me."_

"_I want to, but your history…"_

"_Don't think about that. It has nothing to do with that." Severus shook his head. Her head was still between his hands, and his hands were in her soft, warm hair. "Just trust me."_

_Her eyes closed, but before he could kiss her again, she stepped away. Sighing, she seemed on the verge of tears as she replied, "I want to. I…I just have to…think about all this." Her vague gestures with her hands indicated the kiss, their relationship, everything._

_Severus nodded dumbly and the vision faded away as she continued down the hall to the Slytherin dorms._

Harry was jerked into the cold, sunlit Defense classroom, gasping at the intensity of the emotions. Snape sat at the desk in the front of the room. He was staring straight ahead, eyes unfocused. His head sunk slowly toward his chest, bitterness enveloping his features. Harry stood there stupidly, aware that he shouldn't have seen that bit of Snape's past. It's not like he would want anyone to _ever_ see his encounters with Cho Chang. Suddenly, the bitterness was gone, replaced by the blank mask that always hid Snape's emotions.

"Leave," Snape said forcefully. His next words conveyed absolute loathing. "Mr. Potter."

It was that evening that Harry spoke to Dumbledore, who sadly informed him that Professor Snape would no longer be able to teach him Legilimency. Two days later, Harry had Defense class, and Snape seemed to be normally his nasty self. Wondering if it had always been an act or if the decision of that young girl was the occasion for a disagreeable Snape, Harry brooded for most of the class. It wasn't until he was drifting off to sleep that night that he realized Snape hadn't taken points from him for not paying attention in class.

* * *

Severus Snape entered the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place. He dreaded these Order meetings – they took time away from his work and he had to put up with the various members of the Order. Sitting at the end of the table as far as physically possible from the rest, he noted the attendees – Tonks with her green and pink striped hair looking like one of the Headmaster's ever-present candies, the Weasley twins (representing the whole clan, it appeared), Mad-Eye Moody whose magical eye never seemed to rest, Hestia Jones who always seemed to wear too much lipstick, Dedalus Diggle, decked out in the most garish colors (purple and puce), and Lupin, the tattered werewolf. When Dumbledore and McGonagall entered the room, it was all Severus could do to not shout "Finally!" Instead he merely growled, "Let's get this over with."

Finally the discussion came around to him.

"What about that potion Snape's been working on? The Ultimate Healing Potion or something like that?" Moody asked gruffly.

Instead of rolling his eyes at the man's lack of vocabulary, Severus stood up gracefully to address the gathered members. "The Summa Curatio potion is in the process of undergoing the multiple brewing stage, whereby several versions are made using varying quantities of ingredients…" Severus trailed off at Dumbledore's look that warned he was losing his audience. "I expect it to be ready for animal testing at the end of next month."

"Oh dear, you test on animals?" exclaimed Hestia Jones, fanning herself with a pink polka dot handkerchief.

"It is a necessary step in the development of an entirely new potion." Severus glowered at the poor woman imperiously. "Without such testing, there is no telling what would happen when it is administered to humans."

"Here now, no need to be so harsh," Dedalus Diggle chastised the tall man. "You're scaring the lady." The old man nodded politely to Hestia with a charming grin. Hestia made a pretense of wiping her eyes with her garish handkerchief. Severus took this as his cue to continue.

"Once we find an effective and safe combination, we can then administer the potion to volunteer testers who will need to be monitored while the potion is active in their system."

"I must say I'm surprised that you've found the time to do all this work, Severus, with your busy schedule," Professor McGonagall remarked.

Before Dumbledore could speak, Severus stated, "One of my students is helping me with this as part of his independent research project."

McGonagall raised her eyebrow inquiringly. "Would that be your new student, Mr. Logan? Filius had mentioned that he was working on a new potion which required both his and your input…"

Severus face hardened, ready to face the onslaught of dissenters. "No, Minerva, Draco Malfoy is assisting me with the Ultimate Healing potion." While that was sinking in, he added, "Andrew Logan is working on a completely different potion, one that is entirely his idea." Severus hazarded a significant look towards Dumbledore before declaring, "I believe that is all that needs to be said…"

"Wait a minute! Are you telling us…"

"That Draco Malfoy is helping you create…"

"The Ultimate Healing potion!" the Weasley twins cried together.

The myriad frowns around the table prompted Severus to speak up for his student. "Draco has great potential in the field of potions. He has potential to be as good or better than I am." _Well, that shut them up!_ he thought triumphantly. "As of now, the other side thinks the potion is being brewed for them."

"Why would Death Eaters need such a powerful healing potion? They're usually the instigators of the attacks and therefore sustain little to no injuries."

"Correct, Lupin," Severus sneered. "However, you are forgetting what twisted minds can be found among the Death Eaters." Lupin paled slightly and Severus turned to address the whole table. "With a potion such as we are creating, they would be able to torture a victim nearly _to death_ and then restore them to near perfect health in order to begin the torture anew."

"That will be enough, Severus," Dumbledore said, sadness lacing his voice.

Severus nodded and sat down. The rest of the meeting was a blur as he tried to keep rein of his emotions. _Damn that Pensieve! Damn the Occlumency lessons! And damn that I ever taught _Potter_ Legilimency!_

* * *

"I noticed."

"Noticed what?" asked Andrew, adding soaking strips of black hellebore carefully to his cauldron.

"You're not pining over the Weasley girl anymore."

"Oh," said Andrew absently, "that. Well," he said, straightening up, "that's sort of over with."

"Sort of?" Draco's raised eyebrow conveyed a deeper meaning. The Slytherins were happy that Andrew's relationship had given up the ghost, so to speak, but they weren't about to forgive him. It would be disastrous if the break-up wasn't final.

"Okay, really over." Andrew sighed. "I just have some…lingering…um, feelings…"

He was interrupted by Draco's snort. "You'll get over it." Draco was smiling as he filled up a bottle with his latest potion batch.

* * *

Andrew entered the DA room and found himself embarrassed at being one of the last people there.

"Sorry I'm late!" he called towards the front of the room where Ginny and her friends were gathered. He stood awkwardly by himself and quite near the door – for a quick escape if necessary – until Ron Weasley approached him, Ginny trailing closely behind.

"What took you so long?" Ron growled, looking for a reason to send him packing.

Andrew swallowed. "Had to lose Draco."

"Did you? Are you _sure_ you lost him?"

Andrew smirked. "Yeah, we ran into Pansy near the Great Hall and, well…she's kinda hard to get away from, especially if you're Draco Malfoy."

Behind Ron, Ginny laughed.

"It's alright, Ron," Harry called from the center of the room.

"We're covering blocking spells, immobilizing spells, and for the more adventurous, combined spells, meaning spells that use more than one discipline – like Charms and Defense," Hermione addressed the group.

"I'll help out with the last one," volunteered Andrew.

Hermione raised her eyebrows, obviously impressed. "Okay…you'll be a group leader today. Here is your list of spells to be taught. Let one of us know if you need any help."

Andrew nodded while looking straight in her eyes to let her know he got the hint. The DA was not used to having a Slytherin in their midst, and it might be a while before they were – if ever. This was only his second DA meeting, and he had spent most of the last one just trying to ignore Ginny and concentrate on blocking spells – something that was part of Defense and therefore a weak spot for him.

To his surprise, Ginny joined his group. Ron looked like he wanted to, but he was leading the blocking spells group – a repetitive theme designed to provide new and young members with an opportunity to catch up. Looking at his list, Andrew was delighted to find most spells on it were familiar. They were also mostly offensive spells.

"Okay, is everyone here pretty good at blocking?" Some of the group nodded vaguely. "Because some of these are doozies." Andrew studied the list for a bit until he felt someone at his elbow.

"Need help with any of those?"

Andrew looked up into Ginny's eyes. His heart jumped, his mouth went dry, and he only managed to croak "Yeah."

"Which ones?"

Andrew pointed to numbers five and seven on the list.

Ginny smiled smugly. "No problem." Turning to the group she reiterated Andrew's earlier statement. "Those of you who don't have good control over your blocking spells, you're hereby warned. Andrew, what's the first one?"

Andrew put the list in his pocket. "First one – a combination of _Evanesco_ and the Conjunctivitis Curse, designed to make the opponent blind. The effects are temporary, of course. Only the Eyesight Removal Potion will permanently blind someone, and that's if the antidote isn't given in time." Andrew cleared his throat nervously, aware that he was losing his audience. "So, hold your wand as you would to begin _Evanesco_…"

* * *

"How is Mr. Logan's potion progressing?" asked Dumbledore as he peered over the rim of his half-moon glasses.

"As far as it's going to get without the addition of much needed potions ingredients," Severus answered as he paced the room. Pausing to look up at the headmaster, he added with a smirk, "At least the Order can't say I haven't told them about it now."

"Withholding exactly what the potion _is _may not count, Severus."

Severus shook his head shortly. "We can't afford to get up their hopes. It is likely that it won't work at all."

Dumbledore was silent.

Snape sighed. "And, Albus, we would need human subjects for the first round of testing."

Albus Dumbledore nodded gravely and watched his new Defense teacher pace in front of his desk.


	14. Realizations

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Retro-thanks to **puppynap** for the review of Chapter 11. I'm very glad you're enjoying yourself! **Cecelle** – you are the most awesome beta and I truly enjoy your work.

_Chapter 13_

_Realizations_

Ginny ran up to him at the end of the DA meeting.

"Andrew, can you stay after for a minute?"

"Sure," he smiled. It faded slightly when he noticed Ron glaring at him menacingly. Thankfully, Hermione and Harry involved him in what appeared to be a heated, yet whispered discussion.

Ginny returned with her book-bag and stood in front of him, smiling.

He couldn't help but smile back.

"I was really impressed by that curse you showed everyone today – you know, the one that knocked Dean on his ass."

"_Corpus retrudo_?"

"Yeah, it's wicked."

"If you do it more forcefully, you'll have your opponent doing backwards somersaults. Since we didn't have any floor mats, I didn't want to do that to Dean," Andrew shrugged.

"You could've spelled the floor to be softer."

"Didn't think of that."

Ginny laughed. "You're just like Harry. You think too much like a Muggle."

"That's not always a bad thing."

"No, I guess not." Ginny sighed. "Would you teach me?"

"The Thruster Curse?" Andrew asked disbelievingly.

"Yeah," Ginny grinned and stepped closer to him.

"Oh, okay. Well, you start with your feet shoulder-width apart," Andrew began seriously, "because you have to have your balance, your feet planted firmly for this one."

"Really?" asked Ginny, standing in front of Andrew, copying his stance.

Andrew looked down at her red ponytail and wondered where this was going. Ginny certainly didn't need him to teach her a simple curse. She knew more than most seventh-years.

"Right," he said, shaking his head as if to clear it. "Now make a pushing motion with your wand arm…."

"This arm?"

Andrew nodded, not thinking that she couldn't see him with her back turned to him.

"Like this?" Ginny made a wide, sweeping motion with her arm.

Andrew came around to stand in front of her. Shaking his head, he replied, "No, it's got to be more forceful." He took hold of her right forearm. "Like this." He guided her arm to make a pushing motion, starting off near the chest and stabbing forward. "Now, when your wand is pointed at your opponent, you should be saying the last syllable 'do.'"

"Hey!" Ron called. Andrew looked up to see him marching across the room. Ginny whirled to face her brother. "What are you two doing?"

"Andrew's teaching me a new curse."

"Yeah?"

"_Yes, Ron_. Now, do you mind?" Ginny brushed him off. However, Ron was not to be gotten rid of that easily.

"_Which_ curse?"

"Thruster," was Andrew's curt reply. He had seen enough of the brother-sister arguments to know to stay out of them.

"Why are you teaching her a curse she already knows?" Ron asked, his face a mask of puzzlement that thinly disguised his growing anger.

"She said…"

"Well, I do now!" Ginny interrupted. "_Corpus retrudo!_" Ginny shouted, flinging her wand at Ron. He bowled over backwards once. While he was rubbing his head and being helped up by Hermione, Andrew dragged Ginny outside.

"What are you doing? We can't be seen!" Ginny hissed, looking up and down the corridor.

"There's nobody up here." Andrew grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at him. "Why are you doing this?"

"What?" asked Ginny defiantly.

"Pretending. Acting like you don't know a simple spell when I've seen you pick up complex ones just by watching someone. If you want to spend time with me, just tell me." Andrew decided to break the tension with a joke, "Then we can ditch your brother." He couldn't resist smirking.

Ginny narrowed her eyes. "I've had boyfriends before and they _never_ took this long to…" She stopped, flustered.

"To what?"

"Touch me…kiss me." Ginny looked him straight in the eye. "Have you ever had a girlfriend before?" Ginny saw a faint blush on Andrew's cheeks, the only time she'd ever seen him blush. "I didn't think so."

"I…" Andrew let go of her after finally realizing he was still holding on. "I never found anyone I was interested in before…" Andrew sighed and took a step back. After a deep breath, he turned back to find her frowning slightly. He touched her face gingerly, as if afraid he might hurt her – this fiery, tough young woman. His thumb moved lightly over her cheek as he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. It was warm, wet, and gave Andrew butterflies in his stomach. When he pulled back, her eyes were still closed.

"Is that better?"

"Mm hmm," Ginny murmured.

Andrew moved forward to hug her, but the door opened. He stopped instead and let the Gryffindors go down the stairs before him. He gazed out the window not really seeing the sunny landscape – the lake and Quidditch banners, both rippling in the breeze. With a deep sigh, Andrew turned to go back to the dungeons. It wouldn't be too difficult keeping his relationship with Ginny a secret from Slytherin House. How he was going to live only seeing her once a week, he didn't know.

* * *

Draco looked up as his mentor entered the student potions lab.

"Good afternoon, Draco."

"Professor."

"Which batch are you working on now?"

"The 30 percent hellebore diffusion with steamed wood sorrel," Draco sighed.

"Is there something bothering you, Draco?"

"No." A stir. A sigh. "Yes."

Professor Snape raised an eyebrow. "Which is it?"

Draco picked up his pewter ladle then set it down again with a bang. "This is the twentieth batch, sir!"

"I believe I have mentioned before the dedication it takes to perfect a new potion."

"The _tediousness_ you mean!"

"That is one way of putting it," the older man dryly remarked. "I would have thought you, of all of my students, would derive pleasure from noting even the slightest difference in the potions as more or less of an ingredient is used."

"You do realize that there are 316 possible permutations of this potion? I could be here until I'm old and gray and not have accomplished anything!"

"You're only doing 30 of those _permutations_ as we have discussed previously." Severus glared at his young prodigy. "Now, tell me what is _really_ bothering you."

Draco grimaced. "It's Andrew."

"Where is Mr. Logan?"

"I don't know. He said something about 'giving thanks' and ran off in search of a large bird or some such nonsense…" Draco stopped short and stared wide-eyed as his godfather laughed more heartily than he had ever heard.

When the man finally calmed, he swiped at his eyes – which was very uncharacteristic of him – and smiled widely at Draco. "You don't know about the American holiday – Thanksgiving?"

Draco shook his head, still in shock at Severus' behavior.

"It is a Muggle holiday, but Americans are Americans, magical or not, so they celebrate it. Everyone gets together at a relative's house with _all_ their relatives. They eat _lots_ of food, and, supposedly, give thanks for all that they have."

Draco looked at him funny. "That's weird."

"They think Guy Fawkes' Day is weird."

Draco shrugged. "You know, it kinda is."

Severus' expression darkened. "You've been hanging around that American too long." Draco looked at him questioningly. "Your grammar is significantly deteriorating."

Draco smirked.

Severus crossed his arms and regarded his godson. "What bothers you about Mr. Logan celebrating an American holiday? – Besides it being an inane one?" he added at a look from Draco.

"He's never around. We don't do things together anymore."

"You have classes together."

"That's different. We _have_ to go together."

"I see." Severus probed further. "What do you think he's doing?"

Draco frowned and set down the mortar he had been using. "I think he's spending time with the Gryffindors."

Severus raised his eyebrows, somewhat surprised. He knew that Andrew had a penchant for defying the prejudice found in Slytherin House, but he had thought, as a Slytherin, Andrew would cover his attachment to the Gryffindors better. Much better. Severus sighed. Perhaps he didn't care.

"He told me he broke up with Ginny," Draco was saying. Severus' head snapped up. He hadn't been aware that had occurred. "And I believe him, because he has this nasty habit of never lying."

"Indeed." _Everyone lies_, thought Severus.

"I just wish he'd study with me or," Draco waved his arms, "do whatever with me." He looked up at his professor. "We're in the same house!"

"Unfortunately for you, Mr. Logan does not see it that way."

Draco's frown deepened. "I don't think he likes me very much."

This admission surprised Severus – so much so that he was speechless.

"He's the only one who hasn't even _pretended_ that he liked me, even if he didn't. Well, you can't count the Gryffindorks."

Severus didn't reprimand him for the harmless nickname, nor did he chuckle at it. It finally struck him who Andrew Logan reminded him of. A certain stubborn American girl he had known when he was at Hogwarts. Someone who was brazenly open about her likes and dislikes. Someone he hadn't seen in years. Of course, that woman had been on his mind for the past six months.

* * *

It was steadily getting worse. The surprise attack by Potter had proven that. He hadn't had the strength to fight him off or even to rant and roar at the boy afterward. He had let his emotions show through his normally blank façade – a slip he rarely made. Something had to be done.

_He saw her enter the common room out of the corner of his eye. He did not look up from his seat on the edge of a couch in a far corner. She approached him confidently, yet her hands were twisting and clasped together in front of her. He did not look up until she spoke his name._

"_Severus."_

_He looked up, his countenance mildly inquiring._

"_Can I talk to you for a minute?"_

_He raised his eyebrows at her, peeved by her choice of words. _Of course she _could,_ and should he time her? _Instead of correcting her, he merely nodded._

"_Can we go for a walk?"_

_Again he ignored her grammar, set aside his potions text, and rose. Indicating that she should lead the way, he followed her silently._

_Once they were outside, he stepped up to walk beside her. At once, it felt familiar, like old times. They walked through the cold air in silence. Down to the lake, they traced the water's edge. The overcast sky belied the early afternoon, giving the impression of the oncoming dusk._

_Deep among the oaks, alders, and firs that grew along the well-worn path, she stopped. He stopped, too. Turning to look at her, he was struck by a pang of sadness. Her pale face was streaked with fresh tears, and she was staring at the rock-strewn shore. Wanting to reach out and offer comfort through touch, Severus resisted, sticking to his ultimatum despite the fact that doing so made him suffer, too._

"_I wanted to tell you my decision." _

_Severus continued to watch her as she watched the faint ripples on the lake surface. _

"_Severus," she whispered, turning at last to look at him, "I don't know why you want this. I spoke to him, and he wouldn't tell me."_

"_Of course not." Severus regretted sounding impatient, but he wasn't going to apologize._

"_But he understands why I can't be friends with him."_

_Severus froze, still gazing out over the lake._

"_For the life of me, I don't know how he can be so matter-of-fact about it. It's as if a person not wanting to be friends with him is an everyday occurrence." She was silent for a moment before sighing. "Of course, he probably didn't care much about being my friend in the first place. He already has lots of friends."_

_Severus turned to glare at her fiercely. "Don't be daft. He was very lucky to have you as a friend even if it was only for a short while."_

_She stared at him, the same searching stare she had used on him several times before._

"_Maybe," she said after a while._

"_I don't see why you should be so upset over it."_

"_It was a difficult choice to make."_

_He looked into her eyes then and their gazes held – for a moment, for an eternity – until he noticed she had stopped crying._

"_I choose you."_

_This was new. This feeling of belonging, of two people sharing one secret, one existence. No one had ever chosen him before – not like she had, giving up a similar and equally worthwhile choice. While Severus didn't think it had been, she obviously had. As he held her close, her face buried in his shoulder, his hand in her hair, her shivers brought him back to reality, albeit a more vibrant and interesting one because she was in it and she was _his.

_The new couple walked back to the castle slowly, prolonging the beginning – the fresh start – that a new relationship provides. His arm never left her shoulders, her hand never left his. They had to touch to prove to themselves that the other was really real._


	15. The End

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Thanks to my beta – **cecelle** – for your insightful critiques and lovely reviews. Please note that the chapter title refers to what's happening in the story and not the story itself!

_Chapter 14_

_The End_

It was time. Time to put the memories back. Time to get back to his _real_ life. Severus decided that he would allow himself one last memory of the only woman he had ever really loved.

_She lay in his arms, her body soft against his. Her hair tickled under his chin, just a bit. They had just had a huge row – she wanted to escape to the US, and he wanted to stay to pursue his dreams. _

_It had been about a year and a half since she had found out his secret. It hadn't been the first time they'd had sex, but it had been the first time with the light on. Of course, she had stared when she noticed it. Severus had sucked in his breath, steeling himself for whatever was to come. _

"_When?"_

"_Before I met you," was his quiet answer. _

_She looked up into his eyes then, and he tried to convey to her how outside of everything their relationship was. She was his anchor – something he could hold onto as his training and career took off. He was well on his way to becoming a potions master and he was guaranteed the ultimate research position within the legion of the Dark Lord. He would be the expert in his field whom all others revered. Through it all, Emmaline would be there, but as his equal, his partner. He could never imagine her as anything less. _

_She sighed softly. "It doesn't change who you are then. You are still the same person."_

"_Yes," he breathed._

_They had sex again that night. This second time there was a yearning to prove that they were meant to be together. Neither of them had spoken those three little words to the other; they never felt it to be necessary. Love was superfluous; this was belonging. _

_At three in the morning, he heard her sleepy voice._

"_Severus, I know you want to be recognized for your work, but you can achieve that without…them. Without _him_."_

_Severus sighed deeply. "It's not that simple."_

"_Why can't it be?"_

"_I've made a commitment."_

"_It's one you should break."_

"_I can't." It was then that she delivered _her_ ultimatum._

"_The last time you told me that, I ended up siding with you. I've always trusted you, Severus, and you've never let me down. But I don't trust your friends, especially Lucius Malfoy, and I'm afraid of what they'll ask of you, what they'll _make_ you do." Her voice turned harsh. "I'm not going to stay around to watch as they brainwash you into believing their tripe. I want you to come with me. We'll go to the West Coast if we have to. Just come with me. Trust me this time."_

It was shortly afterwards that she left his life forever.

Severus Snape rose from the soft, squashy armchair that the headmaster had conjured for him less than an hour before.

"I'm ready now, Albus."

* * *

"There you are," Draco sighed with barely concealed relief as Andrew entered the student potion's lab where they both were working on their independent research projects.

Andrew smiled wanly. "Yeah, I thought I'd come and help you. You have a lot to do."

"What about your potion? I know you've made the base potion, but I thought you were actually going to _finish_ it." Draco smirked as he prepared tubes of potion.

Andrew frowned. "Nah, one of the main ingredients is too rare." He ignored Draco's look of surprise and picked up a thin glass tube, examining it for inconsistencies. "I'm just gonna write about what I _think_ will happen."

"That really sucks!"

"Yeah."

"Well," Draco sighed dramatically, "are you ready to get this over with?"

Andrew chuckled. "It's not that bad, really. Hey, at least you're getting to test your potion!"

"Lucky me. I got to brew thirty batches over the course of as many days. Now, I get to mutilate bats."

"But they should heal…"  
Draco looked at Andrew as if he wished it were so. "Most of them. Not every potion will be really effective, and some might not work at all. Then there is the control subject." Draco paused in preparing the test subjects. "That one doesn't get anything at all."

"It's part of scientific research," Andrew reminded him.

"It sucks," sighed Draco.

"You're getting awfully fond of that word," Andrew smirked, trying to lighten the mood.

Draco smirked back. "Yes, and it will be particularly hard to stop using it when I go home for winter holiday."

Andrew shrugged, "My mom doesn't really mind if I use slang when I talk. It's a whole other matter when it comes to the written word, however." Andrew shook his head as he watched Draco use the same curse, over and over, separating the left shoulder of each bat. "She's adamant that you have to learn to write well to succeed in life."

Draco looked up from his work to smirk. "She'd get along really well with Professor Snape then. Hand me one of the tubes, will you?"

Andrew picked up the slender glass tube, magically filled with a set dose of potion. "Which batches are you using?"

"The ones we think are somewhat in the middle of the road as far as strength and effectiveness are concerned. We want to get the technique down before we start testing the really strong potions." Draco looked up, waiting for Andrew to hand him another tube. "That way, when the experiment is written up, we can say with some certainty that the test was performed in the best possible manner – as far as consistency and accurateness are concerned." Draco pressed the tube into the bat's mouth. With a tap of his finger, the potion slid down the tube and into the bat's esophagus. "I can't say as much for most of these guys," Draco grimaced.

"They've been knocked out by a sleeping spell. They won't wake up for days," Andrew vainly tried to console his friend.

"Yeah, tell that to the control subject." He jabbed the next tube down the next bat's throat.

Andrew decided to change the foul mood Draco was in. He had entered the room not feeling so lighthearted himself, but Draco had convinced Andrew that he was the one who needed cheering up.

"You know that potion ingredient I need that's so rare?"

Draco nodded slowly, still administering the potion to the bats.

"It's Re'em blood."

Draco's head snapped up. "Bloody hell! That stuff is expensive and impossible to find!"

"Right, which is why I can't finish my potion," Andrew shrugged.

"So, what is your potion again?"

Andrew smiled as he handed Draco another tube. "I thought you'd be much more subtle than that, seeing as you're a Slytherin and all."

"No time for subtlety, Logan. The term's almost over."

"So?" Andrew asked, puzzled.

"You'll be going home soon."

Andrew shook his head. "I'm staying the whole year, you know."

Draco paused in his work. "Oh? I thought it was just one term."

"Don't know why you thought that."

"Me neither." Draco stood up and threw the last tube into the rubbish bin. "There, that's finished this lot." He moved with a refreshed determination to gather parchment and quill, ready to begin taking notes on his subjects' reactions.

"Will you notice anything at first?"

"No," replied Draco. "I'm just recording how many I've disabled, the method I used to dose them, the actual dose…" he trailed off as he jotted the information down.

* * *

_Dear Mom,_

_Since I'm already staying in Great Britain for the Christmas break, would it be alright if I spent it with a friend? Draco has invited me to his home for the entire holidays, and I'd love to see more of the country. Also, Draco wants to teach me Quidditch! I don't know that I'll enjoy it as much as soccer, but I know I'll at least have fun flying! _

_Please write back as soon as possible, because I need a note for the school saying that it's okay._

_Love,_

_Andrew_

_PS – I do miss you, you know._

* * *

Albus Dumbledore rose from his chair and walked around his desk to stand in front of the man he'd known since that man was a boy at Hogwarts. Severus Snape had been suffering in one way or another for quite a long time. He knew it was wrong to take away the only happy memories Severus possessed, but it was necessary for him to function in his roles as both professor and spy for the Order.

The headmaster remembered the full confession Severus Snape had made when he appeared on an unseasonably warm spring night. Half of it was about the woman he had lost – the young girl Albus Dumbledore vaguely remembered from her short two years at Hogwarts. As convinced as the Headmaster was that Severus needed to remember her, the frequent use of his Pensieve precluded leaving his memories of her to roam freely around the Defense professor's head.

Dumbledore sighed deeply, "As you wish, Severus." He began a large sweeping motion with his wand, drawing an arc, completing it with a swirl. He spoke the words that would free his friend's mind. "_Distinguo pars memoria._ _Abdo semoveo memoria."_

The determined face that looked back at him was worth it. It had to be worth it. Keeping up a confident smile until the man had left his office, the Headmaster sank into his own squashy armchair, still worried.


	16. Christmas Break

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Thanks to my beta, **cecelle**, for her wonderful work. She is simply amazing, y'all!

_Chapter 15_

_Christmas Break_

Andrew looked up as Draco entered the student potions lab.

"I thought you were done with your tests and were concentrating on theory."

Andrew sighed. "I was, but I got to a sticky point in the paper and wanted to go through it again just to make sure I've got it right."

Draco nodded. It was something he would do.

"What about your project?" Andrew asked, inclining his head toward Draco's workbench.

Draco shrugged. "Finishing up with the animal tests. I'll probably write most of the paper for mine over the holidays."

Andrew nodded while concentrating on adding exactly two drops of periwinkle tincture to his simmering potion.

"Do you think you'll ever get to finish your potion?" Draco asked somewhat wistfully.

"Dunno," Andrew blinked as the first drop fell into the potion. "Maybe in the future when I get a cushy research position." Andrew grinned and looked up at Draco, having successfully administered the second drop.

Draco shrugged. He didn't know how to get hold of Re'em blood although his father might have some contacts. However, it wasn't something Draco wanted to offer to Andrew. Some things were better left unsaid. After all, what Andrew didn't know couldn't hurt him.

"_Evanesc_o" Draco turned back from his workbench to smirk at his friend. "Come on, let's go up to supper."

Andrew nodded as he set a timer and placed a protective barrier around his cauldron.

The two boys sauntered, side by side, along the Potions hallway towards the upper levels of the castle.

* * *

Severus Snape finished marking a third-year's essay. Setting it aside onto an ever-growing pile of parchment, he glanced out the window at the setting sun. Tomorrow, the students – most of them, anyway – would be going home for the winter holidays. This thought was enough to bring a gleam to the Defense professor's eye and make the corner of his mouth twitch up a bit. Even Potter and his motley crew would be leaving the castle. Except for the odd Order business here and there, Severus would have the entire break to himself. He might even visit the Potions classroom to see how much more the ceiling had been scorched by the first-years this term.

A sharp knock at his office door broke him from his reverie. Turning from the orange light reflected by the snow-covered landscape, Severus waved open the door with a sweep of his wand. Unsurprisingly, Andrew Logan's head popped into view.

"Professor, have you got a minute?"

Severus frowned. Andrew was a typical American – complete with bad grammar.

"Of course, Mr. Logan. Please close the door and sit down."

Andrew obliged, and then drew a deep breath. Severus waited impassively for him to speak.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I really don't think we'll be able to finish the _Laxo Excrucio _potion. Not if we can't procure all of the ingredients."

Severus calmly folded his hands in his lap and studied the boy. "It was a distinct possibility right from the start that we would not be able to procure all of the ingredients. It was also decided that you would most likely only be able to research the possible effects of this potion." Noticing the steely look on Andrew's face, Severus continued. "However beneficial such a potion could be to the community at large and to law enforcement officials in particular, it is impractical to make – not to mention we have no idea if it will work effectively and safely."

Andrew bowed his head. His hands were gripping the arms of the chair. "Sir," he began, his voice low, "don't you think that the repercussions of this potion are far beyond just you and me?"

"How so?" Severus casually asked.

Looking up, Andrew spoke determinedly. "It could mean the difference between life and death. Did you know that Neville Longbottom's parents are in St. Mungo's because they were held under the _Cruciatus_ curse too long? That they've lost any trace of sanity?"

"I am aware of that fact," Severus answered, his face set as if in stone.

"We can possibly prevent that."

"_Possibly_."

"We won't know until we try."

"Mr. Logan…" Severus sighed tiredly and pressed a hand to his eyes. "Andrew, while I am impressed by your determination, it is not a simple matter to acquire the necessary ingredients. Then," Severus raised a hand to deter any arguments from across his desk, "we would have to do blind tests on _human_ subjects."

Andrew blinked.

Severus peered at him grimly. "It is not the ideal situation, but how could we expect bats to tell us how effective a dose is?"

Andrew looked away from his teacher's penetrating gaze. His eyes fell on the large bookshelf along the west wall then moved to look out the window. "I hadn't realized that, sir." He looked again at his professor – the only teacher he'd ever had who had encouraged him to explore his _own_ ideas, someone whom he admired greatly for his potions talent – and realized that the man probably knew more about the _Cruciatus _curse than he ever wanted to know. Draco had said that Professor Snape had fought in the last war against Voldemort. "I suppose someone would have to perform the curse as well?"

Severus nodded slowly, once.

Andrew closed his eyes, his face a study in disappointment, failure, and pain. "It just feels so ineffectual to get so close, yet be so far from the end."

When Andrew opened his eyes, it was the only time he had seen his professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts smile.

"Indeed. Perhaps it is better that you learn so now. You will then not be so disappointed when it happens again."

Andrew sighed and slumped down in his chair, leaning his head into his hand. "Great, just great."

Deciding to change the subject and perhaps lighten the mood, Severus asked about Andrew's plans for the upcoming holidays. "I see that you will not be staying here over the holidays. You are, perhaps, returning home to the States?"

Andrew shook his head, still morose. "No, I'm going to stay with Draco. He's going to teach me Quidditch. Well, try to anyway."

Andrew did not notice his professor freeze and turn white. By the time he looked up from the perusal of his fraying shoelaces, Severus was back to normal. At least on the surface.

"You are accompanying Mr. Malfoy home for the holidays?"

"Yeah." Misinterpreting his professor's countenance, Andrew quickly revised his statement. "I mean, yes, sir. It was only decided a week ago," Andrew shrugged, "so you probably aren't the only one unaware."

"Yes." Nodding towards the stack of parchments in front of him, "Enjoy your holiday, Mr. Logan."

Andrew stood gracefully. "Yes, sir. You, too."

Severus watched as the boy left his office. He immediately locked the door and flooed the Headmaster.

* * *

"This'll be your room." Draco opened a door across and down the hall from his own room and stepped inside. Andrew followed him in and heaved his luggage onto the bed.

"Cool," remarked Andrew, looking around. The windows in this room looked out onto a large front lawn with a sweeping gravel drive. Large trees obscured any other signs of human habitation in the area. It was a suitably large home – quite big for just three people. Andrew and his mom lived in a small, two story Muggle house in suburban Richmond. However, he'd seen large mansions like this on TV many times before. It would be interesting to stay in one for a while.

When he turned around, Draco stood with his arms crossed, apparently waiting for something. Andrew asked, "So, you wanna show me your room?"

Draco smirked, and they tromped across the hall. Draco's room was much larger than the guest room although Andrew would have had a hard time telling it was Draco's room and not another guest room. Everything was in its place and there was nothing personal to be seen. Andrew thought of his room at home – the books piled here and there, clothing strewn around, the bed rarely made – and wondered if this was just how it looked when Draco wasn't here. Perhaps it would get messy by the time they had to return to Hogwarts.

"Wow, your room is much cleaner than mine at home."

Draco looked at him strangely, but quickly smiled when Andrew mentioned Quidditch.

"We have a mock pitch out past the gardens. Grab your cloak, and we'll go flying for a bit."

"Okay!" Andrew grabbed his coat, not owning a cloak himself, and followed Draco outside. They wound their way past sleeping rose beds and what appeared to be an active greenhouse.

"What's in there? Do you grow your own potions ingredients?"

"Mum's orchids are in there. We usually just buy what we need for any potion we're making."

Andrew nodded. "Yeah, sometimes that's easier than trying to grow them yourself. Faster, too."

Draco smiled. "Race you to the broom shed!"

"I don't know where it is!" Andrew yelled, racing along after his friend.

"You'll just have to keep up then!" Draco laughed as he tried to keep ahead of his long-legged friend.

* * *

_Mom,_

_I guess this is the last time I'll write before Christmas. It seems strange to be spending it away from home, although I know I'll have a good time at Draco's. His parents are really nice – polite and proper like you'd expect English people to be. They've got this huge library, too – also expected of an old English manor house. I'm sure I'll lose myself in a few books over the holiday! That's when I'm not playing Quidditch with Draco or exploring the grounds. Draco's mom grows orchids and she's offered to give me a tour of the greenhouse. _

_I know I'll miss you when Christmas day arrives and you're not here or I'm not there – well, we won't be together. It'll be weird, but it had to happen someday, right? _

_I've enclosed your Christmas present. I think you'll like it. I picked it up in Hogsmeade way back in October; it just seemed perfect._

_Miss you lots  
&  
Merry Christmas!_

_Love,  
Andrew_

_PS – I forgot to tell you – send letters to me addressed as follows:_

_Andrew Logan  
c/o Draco Malfoy  
Malfoy Manor  
Amesbury, Wiltshire  
UK_


	17. Return

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Sorry this is so long in coming. Real life got in the way – in quite a bad way. Rest assured that I have been writing if not posting (bad for you in the short term but really good in the long term). I have to get the story out of my head and my beta, **cecelle**, insists that I keep writing.

Review Thanks to **bugslife** – glad you appreciated the lab bats! My beta and I decided that those would work best as far as the _ick!_ factor goes, **pickledishkiller** – you have no idea what a great compliment it is to a geologist to say something 'rocks!' – LOL, and **cecelle** – my beta who makes my work better – easier to read, better flow of ideas, appropriate comma use – you get the picture. She ROCKS!

_Chapter 16_

_Return_

Emmaline dropped the letter she had just received from her son. She stared out her kitchen window not seeing the sparrows feeding in the feeder attached to the bare oak tree. Her mind was filled with visions of the past.

_It was the first Hogsmeade weekend of her seventh year. Emmaline had been looking forward to this weekend since before she arrived in September. She would be meeting Severus at the Three Broomsticks. _

_As she dressed that chill late September morning, she wondered nervously if he would get a hotel room for the two of them. His letters had hinted that his intentions were less than honorable for the next time he saw her. Emmaline tried hard to suppress the girlish, excited grin she saw on her face as she looked in the mirror. As a Slytherin, she was loath to let the others know what she was thinking. It was just easier if everyone thought you were indifferent about everything. It was the best way to stay out of the plots, revenges, and intrigues that pervaded Slytherin like the courage, bravado, and stubbornness that everyone attributed to Gryffindor._

_As the carriages came within sight of Hogsmeade at last, Emmaline put great effort into remaining relaxed in her seat and keeping her eyes on the passing scenery. She would wait until she exited the carriage to scan the crowd for him. When she emerged, however, she was disappointed not only to see a crowd devoid of tall, dark men, but also not to be swept up in a warm embrace. Of course, that wasn't Severus' style, but a girl can dream, can't she?_

_Emmaline walked slowly and deliberately down the narrow, crooked streets when she really would have liked to run like the third-year students. She entered the Three Broomsticks and let her eyes adjust from the overcast, yet bright day to the dim interior of the pub. Even when she felt adjusted to what little light was available, Emmaline still did not see Severus. Clamping down on her despair and disappointment, she forced herself to walk calmly around the establishment to search the nooks and crannies. It would be just like Severus to hide._

_Sure enough, she found him in a back corner, half-hidden in shadow. An unconscious smile crept onto her face as her legs became wobbly beneath her. How she made it to his table, she was never quite sure of afterwards. _

"_Severus," she breathed, smiling down at him adoringly._

_He frowned. He opened his mouth to speak but, before he could, he was interrupted by his companion._

"_I don't believe I've had the pleasure…?" _

_Emmaline looked up as a tall, blond man with chiseled features rose to his feet. He was holding out a large, well-manicured hand. _

"_Emmaline Evesbury." Emmaline took his hand and shook it firmly. The man seemed amused._

"_Lucius Malfoy," he intoned and his voice had a lyrical quality to it. He had kept her hand and now turned it so he could place a kiss on it._

_Emmaline quickly took her hand back and surreptitiously rubbed the spot where he had kissed it on the back of her robes._

_Severus cleared his throat, and Emmaline's attention went back to him. He was about to speak when Lucius cut him off – again._

"_You aren't the woman Severus has been talking about all summer?" he asked as if he couldn't believe it._

_Emmaline looked at Severus. He spoke at last._

"_Yes, she is." He tore his gaze away from her to the table-top. "Emmaline, go to the Hog's Head and wait for me there. I have some business to discuss with Lucius. I won't be long," he finished, looking back up at her._

_Emmaline happily nodded, a smile plastered to her face. She turned around without saying goodbye to Severus' business associate. In a daze, she made her way to the inn, wondering at the look of longing she had seen on Severus' face as she left._

Emmaline fought hard not to choke as she thought of those words in her son's handwriting – "Malfoy Manor." That initial Hogsmeade weekend of her seventh year was the first time she had met Lucius Malfoy and, unfortunately, it was not the last she was to see of him. _That lecherous, distasteful, smug SOB!_

With a fierce determination, she turned and ran up the stairs. Pulling out a large suitcase, she piled it full of her warmest clothes and then shrunk them considerably so she could fit more. After a short trip to the office, she was going to the nearest portkey office; muggle travel would take too long!

* * *

Emmaline approached the enormous front doors. She hesitantly touched the burnished English oak. It felt very solid through the fabric of her gloves. Gathering her courage, she grasped the large iron handle and tugged. The door swung open of its own accord, with only the occasional creak.

The cold December air followed her into the vast entrance hall. As the door closed behind her, Emmaline tried to recall the location of the Headmaster's office. Turning towards the south corridor which led to a large inner courtyard, she wondered if he would even be there.

The sun was setting. It had been morning when she had left Richmond for Scotland, but Hogwarts was six hours ahead of Virginia. Emmaline sighed as she looked out at a familiar sight from a long time ago. Hearing shuffling footsteps, she looked back down the hall, past the gargoyle. A white-haired wizard appeared. He was wearing a deep purple robe upon which was embroidered snowflakes and stars. A matching wizard's hat graced his head. Straightening her makeshift robe – it had only an hour before been her overcoat – Emmaline approached the Headmaster of Hogwarts. He appeared to be not much older than she had remembered him. However, upon closer inspection, she found that there were many more wrinkles in his kindly face.

Peering at her over the top of his spectacles, he politely asked, "Were you waiting for me? I'm afraid, my dear, that I've forgotten about our appointment…"

"Oh, no," she cut him off, "I don't have an appointment."

The old man frowned.

"I only need a few minutes of your time, please, Headmaster."

He lifted his eyebrows inquiringly.

"It's about my son." Emmaline's tone suggested desperation.

Smiling widely, the Headmaster spoke a password and the gargoyle leapt to one side. "Then please do come up to my office." He gestured for her to go first.

Emmaline's mind ran with different ways to begin her request all during the ride up the stairs - but as she stood in front of the large walnut desk, took a seat, and declined an offer of tea, she was still at a loss.

"Now, may I inquire as to which student is your son?"

"Andrew Logan. He's a…"

"Ah, yes, Mr. Logan. In Slytherin house."

Emmaline nodded. Dumbledore looked at her, hands pressed together in front of him.

"I need your help." She paused searching desperately for the right words. "I need to…have him return to Hogwarts."

"That is a simple matter, Mrs. Logan…"

"Please, it's Ms. Logan, and I doubt it's that simple."

"There are staff members here throughout the holidays, Ms. Logan. Andrew may simply return at any time, provided he checks in with his head of house."

"Yes, but I need him to come back to Hogwarts from where he is now."

"Perhaps the Floo…?"

"Professor, he has gone to visit a friend of his. I would like him to return to Hogwarts. Immediately."

"Oh, I see." Dumbledore paused. "Could you not ask him to return?"

Emmaline closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I would really rather stay out of this."

A disappointed look crossed Dumbledore's face. "Ms. Logan, it is not up to the school to deflect a child's petulance from the parents…"

Emmaline shook her head vigorously. "No, he would come if I asked, but I _can't_ ask."

Truly puzzled now, Dumbledore asked, "Why not?"

"He's at Lucius Malfoy's house."

"This is a problem…?"

Her answer was a determined "Yes" delivered through gritted teeth.

"I see. Well," he continued, rising from his chair, "I don't believe it is in Hogwarts jurisdiction to recall a student from another student's home at a parent's whim…"

"Whim? Professor, I do _not_ trust this man, especially with my son! He's untrustworthy, devious, conniving, sly…"

Dumbledore's raised hand stopped her tirade, but Emmaline still stood tensely with clenched fists. Her fingernails dug into her palms, and she wished momentarily that they were instead digging into Lucius Malfoy. Dumbledore stood quietly, studying her face and features, until she slowly relaxed and sank into the chair.

"Please," she began quietly, "my son is all I have. I don't think I'll be able to sleep or eat or do anything while I know he's with _that man_." She spit out the last two words. Dumbledore heard hate and disdain in her voice but, underlying it all, was a thin sheen of fear. Making a decision, he strode to a bookshelf right beside his desk and plucked a thick black book from it. He sat and opened it in his lap. He looked up at the woman slumped in his visitor's chair.

"I will need some identification."

"What?"

"So I will know that you are who you say you are."

"Oh, of course." Emmaline rummaged in her robe pockets before handing Dumbledore a small square of plastic. He adjusted his glasses so he could read it better. An unflattering picture of the woman before him was in the bottom left under the word "Virginia." Next to that was her name – Emmaline Logan – and her address – 2213 Sycamore Lane, Richmond, VA. Behind all of the information that the state considered pertinent, was a seal showing a man with spear and sword standing over a man whose crown had fallen off. The motto proclaimed "_Sic Semper Tyrannis_" or "Thus Always to Tyrants." Dumbledore's lips twitched. He handed the card back to Emmaline.

"I will require your _wand_ as identification," he peered over his glasses.

Emmaline slowly withdrew her wand and handed it over without a word. Her eyes, however, said that he had better make this quick.

Dumbledore placed the wand on the open ledger. After a few seconds, a name appeared on the page. Then an entry date into Hogwarts, a birthdate, a list of marks earned, NEWT results… Dumbledore handed back the wand and closed the book. He had seen the name and knew without looking further with whom he had been speaking these past fifteen minutes. Emmaline Logan, _nee_ Evesbury.

* * *

Emmaline stood at the window, watching the snowy landscape but not really seeing it. Dumbledore had gone to find Andrew's Head of House. Supposedly, this person could be of some help. The office door creaked open and Dumbledore's voice came drifting in. "…you may be able to help."

Emmaline took a deep breath.

Severus Snape stepped into the Headmaster's office expecting to help a friend of Dumbledore's who needed a Potions master. Albus had been very vague about the circumstances. A woman stood at the window, the soft light enveloping her. He blinked to dispel the angelic image and clear his vision.

"Now that we're all here, let's try to solve this problem together, shall we?" Professor Dumbledore asked, rubbing his hands together. As he stood behind his desk, he watched as Emmaline turned from the window and stepped into the dimmer light of the room.

Severus swallowed as the heavenly figure approached.

Emmaline waited for her eyes to adjust, absently smoothing her robe one last time.

Severus blinked. It was the only movement his brain could handle at the moment. Shaking his head to clear it, he stepped closer to the woman.

Emmaline shrieked and jumped back, a hand going to cover her mouth. Had she just seen who she thought she had seen?

"No need to be alarmed, dear," soothed Dumbledore. "Let's all take a seat, have a nice cup of tea, and sort this problem out." Grinning like a fool, he watched the two adults before him.

"Emmaline…" Severus breathed.

"Severus?" Emmaline squeaked. Wincing at her voice, she felt her breath hitch. Self-preservation made her find a chair into which she slowly lowered herself.

Severus felt compelled to do the same.

* * *

Severus frowned. "I came to you about this earlier, Albus. You indicated then that there was no problem with the situation."

"At that time, there wasn't. Now Ms. Logan is indicating that there might be…"

"Might be! Professor Dumbledore, I have been here for nearly an hour now and have expressed multiple times the danger I feel my son to be in. There is _no_ '_might'_ about it!" Emmaline crossed her arms stubbornly, an agitated expression on her face.

Cutting his eyes at her, Severus asked, "Problem or no, what do you expect me to do about it?"

"Well, Severus," Dumbledore began but was interrupted by an irate mother.

"Go. Pick. Him. Up," she punctuated each word.

Severus smirked. "I suppose he sent you a letter begging to be rescued?"

Emmaline turned to glare at him. "This isn't funny. You should know why I am so upset about finding out my son's at Malfoy Manor."

"Perhaps." Turning his attention back to the Headmaster, Severus tried to opt out of the task. "I still don't see why I'm needed."

"Ms. Logan doesn't feel…well…comfortable visiting Malfoy Manor."

"I see."

When the two men did not speak for a long time, Emmaline burst out, "I'm not going anywhere near Lucius Malfoy if I can help it. I need someone else to go and bring back Andrew." Her voice began to take on a tone of desperation. "I simply can't be anywhere _near_ that man."

Severus stood abruptly. "It is no matter of ours if you can't. You should have exercised more control over your _son's_ whereabouts if you had reason to be so concerned."

Emmaline stood, too, facing her attacker. "I _trust_ him."

Severus' eyes were hooded. "Apparently, you don't." His teeth clicked on the final "t" as he grated out his rebuttal.

"I _do_. I just don't trust Lucius."

"A very wise decision, I think," Dumbledore said absently. "Of course, the problem becomes what to tell Mr. Malfoy. Andrew is in his charge at present…"

"It will not be a simple matter, unless…" Severus turned to Emmaline like a predator who spots his prey, "his mother shows up to claim him."

The color drained from Emmaline's face. "N…no…" she stammered, shaking her head stiffly.

Severus' look turned to puzzlement, but before he could ask a question, Dumbledore spoke. "We are looking for a way around that, Severus, if you please." The look he was receiving from the old man said, "Behave yourself." Severus folded his arms across his chest and stalked off to the opposite window. Snow clouds had gathered and it was now brighter in the dimly lit office than on the grounds.

Emmaline spoke, and her voice was clipped as if forced to say the words. "If you cannot help, Headmaster, I _will_ find a way to remove Andrew from Malfoy Manor. It just may not be as soon as I would like."

Dumbledore waved a hand. "Now, now, we will help you out of this…won't we, Severus?"

A noncommittal grunt reverberated off the window pane.

Emmaline tore her gaze from the dark man and fixed Dumbledore with a determined look. "Do you have any ideas?"

Dumbledore's eyes held a mischievous glint. "I do."

* * *

"At least let me write an explanation. He's very stubborn and may not come if you don't tell him why…"

"I will not take something that may implicate me into enemy territory, so to speak. I will make sure he leaves _without_ requiring an explanation."

Emmaline looked at him grimly. "I hope you know what you're doing."

Severus looked back at her, a look of mingled surprise and indignation on his face. "I think you know that I do."

Emmaline frowned. "I'm talking about overcoming Andrew's curiosity."

"If the boy's curious at all, he will agree to leave the manor."

Emmaline pursed her lips. "Perhaps," was her only reply.

"You remember the rendezvous location and time?"

"Of course." Emmaline stood quietly at the window in Severus' office. They had agreed to wait until morning to put Dumbledore's plan into action. After breakfast in her temporary room in the castle, Severus had knocked on her door and beckoned for her to follow. Old habits, even very old ones, die hard, and she automatically followed – no questions asked. Walking through a room which decidedly did not look like a Potions classroom, Emmaline tried to imagine Andrew sitting at a desk much as she had done years ago. She could picture him sitting at the kitchen table in their home, lounging on the couch in front of the TV, asleep in his new big-boy bed at the age of five, but not here.

Now in Severus' office, which did indeed have many books about Potions, she waited for him to get ready. He was going to Malfoy Manor to talk to Andrew, and tomorrow she would see her son.

"Do _not_ leave this castle until I get back and declare it safe to do so. It would behoove you to not wander around – the fewer people who recognize you, the better." Severus fixed her with a piercing gaze, as if trying to discern her intentions in his absence.

Emmaline sighed. "Okay."

Severus raised one eyebrow.

Emmaline threw up her hands in exasperation. "You expect me to do what exactly? Cross my heart and swear to Aphrodite that I won't make trouble while you're gone?"

Severus exhaled boredly. "I see now where Andrew learned his terrible grammar _and_ manners."

"He has manners…"

"Typical American…"

"Bollocks, Severus! Not everyone is a 'perfect English gentleman' with perfect grammar, diction, and pure-blooded upbringing!"

Severus fumed. "I will be back…later." He left the room with long strides.

Not wishing to spend any amount of time among his belongings and hearing a door close in the distance, Emmaline left the office. She closed the office door and felt the wards spring to life. Tears sprung to her eyes, and she could not have said if they were for her son or for a young man she knew nearly twenty years ago.


	18. Escape

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ **Pickledishkiller** – thanks for the review! I really appreciate it and am glad you are still reading. **Cecelle** – love your enthusiasm for the last chapter. It is fun to get everyone together and see what happens!

_Chapter 17_

_Escape_

Severus Snape strode into the foyer of Malfoy Manor. He removed his black, fleece-lined gloves, but instead of handing them to the eagerly waiting house-elf at his feet, he shoved them into a robe pocket.

"Where are the young Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Logan?"

"Young Mister Malfoy is in his room," the trembling house-elf squeaked. "Mister Logan is in the library. Can Minnie get sir anything?"

"No. Your services are not required at this time." Severus had ascended the first flight of steps as he spoke and was well on his way before the house-elf dared to return to its previous task.

Severus had been turning over in his mind what he would say to Andrew since the impromptu meeting with Dumbledore last night. As he lay in bed that night, he wondered how much he should tell the boy. Surely he had no idea of his mother's former involvement with his head of house. Severus had not tossed and turned too much – the memories were thankfully not haunting him anymore. The spell Albus had used separated the memories from his conscious thought, effectively leaving him with the basic knowledge of the relationship without subjecting him to the torture of reliving it. However much of a shock it had been to see Emmaline in the flesh again, it was not altogether unsettling. After all, he was quite used to the idea of her now. The Legilimency lessons with Potter had seen to that.

Severus hesistated, down the hall from the library doors. One door was partially open, a beam of light falling across the dark hallway. Andrew was almost certainly in the room, and Draco could not be with him. Draco knew to close doors as the Malfoy house must be kept neat at all times, something Narcissa was adamant about.

Andrew was reading a fascinating text on ancient wizarding rituals when he felt a presence in the room. He looked up to see Professor Snape standing statue-like, framed by the doorway. Puzzled by the appearance of his head of house, Andrew slowly set aside the book, remembering to mark his page as he did so.

Clearing his throat, he rose and greeted his favorite professor. "Professor Snape. What brings you here, sir?"

Severus looked at the young man for a moment before replying. "I have been thinking about your independent research project…"

"Really?" Andrew asked eagerly.

"Yes," Severus replied through clenched teeth, aching to chide the boy for interrupting. Not wanting to waste time, he merely continued. "I have thought of a different approach to solving the ingredient problem."

"That's great!" Andrew grinned. "Won't you sit down? Draco's probably going to be forever in the shower."

Severus faltered. "You are including Draco in your research project?"

Andrew shrugged. "He knows about the ingredient problem, yeah."

Recovering quickly, Severus nodded. "I see. Would you mind taking a walk while we discuss this? I've been in the castle since the end of term and need the fresh air."

"Sure. Let me run get my coat."

Severus didn't hold back his grimace as Andrew jogged out of the room. The boy's language was atrocious. Thankfully, he wrote better than he spoke.

Once on the lawn, they headed in the opposite direction of the Quidditch pitch, away from the greenhouse. It wasn't until they came to a crumbling stone wall, some two meters tall and wide enough for two men to walk abreast, that Professor Snape turned to Andrew.

"This is the one place near the Malfoy property that one can speak and not chance being overheard."

Andrew glanced up into his professor's face and saw concern from the man he had come to know through long hours discussing the pros and cons of various combinations of ingredients for his potion. "Does it have something to do with this Roman wall?"

Severus nodded. "Yes, the ancient magic imbued within interferes with even the most powerful eavesdropping spells." Andrew nodded and asked, "Have you found out where to get some Re'em blood?"

Severus stopped him with a hand on his arm. "Andrew, I regret that I brought you out here under false pretenses. There is," he sighed, "no indication that we will be able to procure the needed ingredient for your project."

"Oh," Andrew's voice was laced with disappointment. "Okay."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "That's all? I expected you to be more resolute in your determination to finish this potion."

Andrew smirked. "You said I should get over it." He paused for full dramatic effect. "I'm getting over it – slowly," he shrugged.

"I see," Severus dryly remarked.

"So, why are we out here?"

"I…" Severus frowned. He had a good idea of what needed to be said, but it was all very blunt. He hated bluntness. A Slytherin was rarely, if ever, straight-forward, even about simple things such as one's birthdate. "Andrew, please sit." He led the boy over to a large boulder which had dislodged itself from the main wall, perhaps some few centuries ago. Standing before him, Severus began to speak, quietly and urgently. "I need for you to come with me to Diagon Alley tomorrow morning. You must pack all of your belongings before that time, shrink them, and hide them on your person. Do not tell Lucius or Draco what you are doing. Do not let them suspect that you are planning to leave."

Andrew frowned. "That might be difficult."

"Why?"

"Um, I usually…well, that is…I'm messy," Andrew finally confessed. When his professor still looked puzzled, he added, "Draco will suspect something if my room is neat. Or, you know, not strewn with clothes…"

"Do not let him into your room then."

"I…I guess I could try."

"You must."

Severus turned to leave when he heard the boy ask, "Professor, why am I leaving exactly?"

Turning back, Severus' cryptic reply was, "You will find out."

* * *

"What are you doing?"

Andrew turned suddenly at the noise. He hadn't heard anyone enter the room, but then, Draco could be really sneaky when he didn't want to be noticed.

"Just, uh, tidying up." Andrew resumed his haphazard packing.

"Sure." After a tense pause, Draco asked quietly, "You want to tell me what's going on?"

Andrew turned, t-shirt in hand, to see Draco leaning casually against the closed door, arms crossed over his chest.

Andrew opened his mouth to reply, "Nothing," but nothing came out. He closed his mouth and looked at his friend closely before he finally spoke. "I'm going back to Hogwarts. Professor Snape thinks there's a way around our ingredient problem, and he wants to work on it during the break. I think he'll probably have more time now than when classes start up again." Andrew shrugged nonchalantly and turned back to his bag. He closed his eyes briefly, wondering why he couldn't bring himself to just tell Draco the truth. Was it really that hard? Had the students in the DA finally gotten to him? The only excuse Andrew could come up with that sounded plausible is that Professor Snape asked him not to tell Draco, so he wouldn't.

"Okay," Draco said, as if finally accepting his explanation. "He'll be here within the half-hour."

"Okay," replied Andrew, hiding his surprise that Draco knew Professor Snape was coming today.

When the boys entered the formal parlor, Professor Snape stood talking to Mr. Malfoy. He turned to them both and, with his teacher's frown, addressed them. "Are you boys ready to go?"

"Yes, we are," answered Draco. It was all Andrew could do not to turn and look at his friend questioningly. He would go along with whatever plan Professor Snape had created.

A house-elf handed Draco his cloak and leather gloves. Andrew had brought his coat and began to put it on. His bag had been shrunk and was now safe in the zippered pocket of the coat. The boys stood ready before the two men. Professor Snape nodded once and strode between the two boys to the fireplace in the far wall.

"Severus?" Mr. Malfoy's melodic voice drifted past Andrew to his professor's ears.

Professor Snape swung around, quite dramatically, interrupted in the act of reaching for the Floo powder. He merely inquired with a raised eyebrow and tilt of his head. Mr. Malfoy smiled beatifically. "Please make sure the boys," he placed one hand on each boy's shoulder and Andrew felt his grip tighten almost painfully, "come back in one piece…?"

Professor Snape nodded solemnly. "Of course, Lucius." Andrew noted that his facial expression gave nothing away. As Andrew walked to the fireplace, he chanced a look at Draco. He was smirking. Andrew's heart dropped into his stomach. As he watched the green flames fade after Draco had left, Lucius Malfoy again placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Have fun today."

Andrew resisted the urge to swallow despite the dryness in his mouth. He adopted a smug look and glanced up at the man. "I will, sir."

Mr. Malfoy smirked back at him. "Go on then," he pushed Andrew toward the grate.

Andrew grabbed a handful of Floo powder, stepped inside the fireplace, and took a deep breath. Hurling the powder to the stone floor, he shouted, "The Leaky Cauldron!" The last thing he saw, as he began spinning, was Lucius Malfoy turning away, an expression of self-satisfaction on his face.

* * *

Stepping out of the fireplace, Andrew commenced coughing. Someone slapped him on the back, while someone else handed him a glass of water.

"Drink this," said Professor Snape. The familiar voice calmed his racing heart as the water washed the soot out of his mouth.

"Better?"

"Yes. Thank you, sir," Andrew answered, sincerely.

Professor Snape gave a short nod. "First things first. Draco, you needed some fresh potion ingredients?"

Draco nodded absently. "Yes, but can we look around first, Severus?"

Andrew started at the informal address, but Professor Snape didn't seem to mind.

Sighing, he acknowledged Draco's question. "Do stay together. I will be following a short distance behind."

Draco pouted, obviously disappointed. "Okay." When Professor Snape gave him a pointed look, he spoke only somewhat petulantly, "Yes, sir. Thank you so much for baby-sitting us today."

The professor guided them through the back of the pub and into Diagon Alley. "Remember, I am acceding to your request to 'get away from the stuffy house.'"

Draco nodded somberly, and with a look to Andrew, the two boys pulled away from Professor Snape and began ambling down the street.

In front of Quality Quidditch Supplies, Draco nodded at the broom prominently displayed in the window. "It's the newest model – the Silverstream XP."

Andrew couldn't hide his laughter.

"What?"

Shaking his head, Andrew kept chuckling. "It's just, well, the wizarding world here is so insular…"

"Yeah?" asked Draco, not sure what had gotten into his friend.

"…and now they're naming brooms like Muggle computer software!" Andrew broke off into a howl of laughter.

Draco shook his head at Andrew's outburst. "Do you mind!" he hissed. "You're attracting attention."

"Sorry," Andrew mumbled, wiping his eyes. He peered closely at the broom in the window. "It is a cool broom though. What's the difference between this one and the one that you have?"

As Draco rambled on, they moved farther down the street. Severus turned away from the Daily Prophet salesman and moved to look at the bookstore window display when the boys stopped in front of Madame Malkin's.

"I probably will get a new set of dress robes before the Yule party."

"This the one you've been saying we'll meet your cousin from France at?"

"Yeah, Persephone. Haven't seen her since I was nine. She goes to Beauxbatons." Draco looked askance at his friend. He frowned when Andrew showed no interest in meeting a pretty girl. She had to be pretty; she was related to him!

"…don't have any dress robes," Andrew was saying.

"What!" Draco was shocked. "_You don't have any dress robes_!"

"Shh," Andrew tried to calm his friend. "Now _you're _making a scene!"

"Yeah, but I have a good reason to! Didn't you ever…go to dances back in the States?"

Andrew turned away, shaking his head, to look back up the street.

"Excuse me, what?" asked Draco when all he heard was Andrew mumbling.

"I never went to any dances!"

"No need to shout." Draco looked at the robes hanging in the store display. "It's time you got some," he addressed Andrew. He grabbed his friend by the elbow and made to go into the store.

"Oh, no, I don't think so!" balked Andrew. "I don't even go shopping with my mom. I'm sure not going with you…"

"Stop being a baby. You need dress robes if you're going to the Yule party and if you're going to sweep Persephone off her feet."

"What? Me? She… Okay, no. I mean…"

"Get. In. Here," Draco managed through gritted teeth as the rest of his energy was going into dragging Andrew up the steps.

"Is there a problem, boys?" a stern voice asked from behind them. Turning slowly, they came face to face with Professor Snape. He had his arms crossed over his chest and was fixing them with a stare which they dared not break.

Draco's facial expression turned from scared to pouty. "He won't look at dress robes and he _needs_ them, Severus!"

"Actually," Andrew said with finality, "we were just leaving." He went down the two steps to street level and spoke to his professor. "May we go to the apothecary now?"

Professor Snape nearly smiled at Andrew's use of good grammar. At the least his expression seemed to soften somewhat. "This way," he nodded.

Severus watched the two boys as they darted down the alley, pondering their apparent differences. Draco's upbringing had instilled in him a sense of entitlement, but perhaps not the measure of societal propriety that Severus' parents had demanded of him. Andrew was very polite and extremely respectful of his elders, but he was rough around the edges, only stepping into the role of a well-educated gentleman when necessary. How very like their parents they were. Draco sometimes seemed the carbon copy of Lucius. Severus knew the boy emulated his father, striving to please someone who never would be satisfied. The feeling was familiar to him, having tried in vain to make his own parents happy. That thought brought him back to Andrew. His optimistic attitude was straight from his mother. Severus saw that now. Emmaline had always, despite her own familial problems, brought him out of the dejection he seemed to wallow in as a teenager.

Sighing, Severus stepped into Slug and Jiggers. He didn't want to think about that now.

The men split up amongst the jammed-full aisles and putrid air of the apothecary. Andrew eventually met up with Draco near the dried bat wings.

"Can I ask you something?"

"It's 'May I ask you something,' and of course, you may," Draco corrected him most annoyingly.

Andrew sighed and shook his head. "Whatever. Look, I was just wondering…uh, well…" Draco gave him a look that said "Get on with it." "Why did you call Professor Snape by his first name?"

Draco continued perusing the merchandise, pretending to be interested in dried dragon dung prices. "Didn't you know?" He glanced at Andrew only to see his friend shake his head puzzled. "He's my godfather."

"Oh. Well…I guess that explains it." Andrew turned to the opposite shelf and began looking at the preserved specimens. There were billywigs in lavender oil and grindylow gills in yew sap. Andrew only remotely noted these things. Thinking how lucky Draco was to have two father figures, even if one of them was a Death Eater… Andrew tried not to be bitter at the injustice of it all – he had a great mom after all – but it was very difficult.

Professor Snape appeared at the end of the row of shelves. "It's almost time for lunch. I suggest you make your purchases soon."

"Are we having lunch in Diagon Alley?" Draco asked, casually. Andrew smirked at him. Whenever he wanted something badly, he usually pretended that he _didn't_ want it at all.

Professor Snape inclined his head slightly. "That is the plan." Draco was still looking at the dried ingredients section and missed the look that Snape gave Andrew. When he looked up to see Andrew nodding, his friend spoke. "Yeah, I'm getting really hungry. What all did you need, Draco? I'll help you find everything."

"Sure," Draco replied, a bit suspiciously. Andrew was up to something. He just hadn't figured out what yet. All he could do was keep a close eye on him. "Why don't you follow me around and hold everything for me? That way," Draco spread his arms, "my hands will be free to reach up high if I need to do so." He smirked widely, "We'll be done in no time!"

Andrew rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Draco pranced off and Andrew followed, shaking his head and muttering under his breath.

Severus watched them, a grin threatening to surface.


	19. A Weird Day

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ **dunedaingirl** – Thanks for taking the time to review four of my chapters. I'm glad you were able to get through all 18 chapters! **Pickledishkiller** – Keep "Wahoo"-ing and reading! **cecelle** – The best beta _ever!_

_Chapter 18_

_A Weird Day_

Andrew entered the Leaky Cauldron behind Draco. He inhaled the warm, bread-scented air deeply, and his stomach growled in anticipation. Professor Snape's hand on his shoulder steered him to a far corner of the pub when he otherwise would have followed Draco to the bar to place his order. He blinked furiously to help his eyes adjust to the low light. Upon hearing his sharp intake of breath, Professor Snape stopped and let go of him.

"Mom?" Andrew's voice trembled. The woman, sitting at a table against the wall, smiled at him. Andrew smiled back. She rose and held out her arms. Andrew ran into them and inhaled the sweet scent that was his mother.

Andrew did not turn around when Professor Snape spoke. "I must go take care of Draco."

"He's here?" his mom asked, sounding uncertain.

Professor Snape must have nodded, because he said nothing.

His mom tried to pull away, but Andrew held her tight. She placed her hands on his shoulders and gently dislodged him. "I missed you too, sweetheart," she murmured.

Andrew looked up to see tears in his mom's eyes. She held him at arms' length and laughed cheerfully. "You've _grown_! It must be the British food, hmm?"

Andrew made a face, and the two laughed together. "I would kill for some Italian food right now."

"I'm sure we can find some," she answered, vainly trying to brush his hair out of his face.

Andrew made a sound of impatience and tried to pull away. "'S alright, Mom."

"Maybe," she said in a tone that meant they would discuss it later. "Okay, come on. Let's get something to eat."

Andrew perked up. "That sounds great!"

His mom steered him towards the front of the pub and the opening to the Muggle street.

"Just where do you think you're going?" Andrew looked up to see Draco, his hand dangerously close to his wand.

Andrew had stopped dead in his tracks. So, too, had his mom. Before he could speak, his mom did.

"We're going to get some lunch. Would you like to come with us?"

Andrew couldn't help gaping at his mom. "What!"

Smiling enigmatically at him, she turned back to Draco. "You are Draco, aren't you?"

Draco merely nodded.

"Hi, I'm Andrew's mom. It's nice to finally meet you."

A puzzled expression passed over Draco's face. "You, too," he said and finally shook her proffered hand. She smiled dazzlingly when he let go. Draco, however, was still frowning.

"Do you like Italian?" That made Draco smile.

"Yes, I do."

Turning to Andrew, she asked, "That okay with you?"

Andrew nodded, acknowledging the unasked question. "Yep."

They reached the pub entrance and Andrew's mom stopped them. "We're going out into the Muggle streets, so Draco, you'll have to transfigure your robe into a coat."

Draco looked distastefully at Andrew's very Muggle coat. Before he could say anything, however, Professor Snape loomed over them all.

"What exactly are you _doing?_" he hissed. Andrew opened his mouth to answer but saw that the question was obviously directed at his mom. Draco, too, had figured this out and looked between the two of them eagerly, as if to enjoy the ensuing fight.

"Going to lunch," was his mother's even reply.

Professor Snape ushered them all into a nearby room and closed the door.

"Tell me what's going on. _Now._" Andrew had never heard such venom in his professor's voice. Not even during NEWT potions class which had several Gryffindors for use as convenient scapegoats.

"We're going to lunch," his mother began, as if talking to a little child. "Draco is going with us." At Professor Snape's incredulous look, she added, "You may come along if you want."

A closed expression masked all emotions on the professor's face. "Draco is expected back home," he stated.

"Not until dark," Draco argued, his face clearly showing his annoyance with this line of thinking.

"You cannot go out into Muggle London in wizard's robes."

"I'm going to change them," Draco gulped and tried to hide his revulsion, "into a … Muggle coat."

Andrew's mother shook her head sadly. "Draco, there's a wide variety of styles for Muggle clothing, just as there is for wizard's clothing."

Draco looked up at her hopefully.

"Merlin help us," Professor Snape said, sounding almost mournful. Andrew watched closely as he spoke an incantation and wove his wand from Draco's left shoulder to right hip to left knee. When he was finished, Draco's robe had turned into a trench coat made out of the same fine cloth as his robe. Draco smiled as he checked out the new sleeves and shorter length.

"I think I like it," he said wonderingly.

"Great job, Severus," Emmaline commented admiringly. The dark-haired man merely nodded. "Now, is there a good Italian place close by?" she asked.

Glaring darkly at her, Professor Snape turned to the door. "Follow me," he intoned. The four of them trooped out of the pub. When they reached the street, Andrew marveled to see Professor Snape out of his robes and in a coat similar to Draco's, but the hem fell around his ankles instead of his knees. He and his mom walked arm in arm following Draco. Professor Snape was leading them all, walking with long, purposeful strides.

Andrew's mom squeezed his arm. "It's so good to see you," she said softly.

"You, too, Mom," he replied, turning to grin at her.

"Draco looks a little lost, don't you think?"

"Mmm, I don't think he's used to being around a lot of Muggles and Muggle stuff."

Emmaline nodded. "Why don't you walk with him? He'd probably feel better if someone explained things to him as we went along."

"You don't mind?" Andrew asked.

She shook her head. "No, go on," she told him, giving him a little shove forward.

She noticed Draco smirk as Andrew reached him. Although she couldn't overhear their conversation, the two were laughing, and Draco seemed much more relaxed. Emmaline sighed pensively. Leave it to her son to finally find a good friend who turns out to be Lucius Malfoy's son.

* * *

Seated at a table in an appropriately authentic Italian restaurant, the four of them were silent. Andrew's mom was smoothing her napkin on her lap. Draco was fingering his silverware and glancing around apprehensively. Professor Snape sat stonily, hands still on his lap.

To break the silence, Andrew blurted, "I don't know about the rest of you, but I can't wait to dig into some great pasta."

Draco smiled and nodded. "We aren't served any continental cuisine at Hogwarts."

Andrew's mother laughed lightly. "I don't see why not. It would probably be a nice change from the heavy British fare."

"Our French relatives always send us pastries," Draco expounded superiorly, "wrapped in preservation spells, of course." He smirked.

"Those sound good, too, but I could probably eat two dozen right now," Andrew opined. His mom stifled her laughter, but not too well.

"Let's all just eat so we can leave," Severus sneered.

The two boys stared shocked as Andrew's mom laughed. Snape just glared at her which only seemed to make her laugh harder.

"What do you like, Professor?" Andrew asked, staring curiously at his mom.

"Anything will do at this point. Where is the waiter?" he asked impatiently, turning in his chair to look across the room. He swiveled back quickly when she burst into fresh giggles. "Can't you do anything other than laugh, woman!"

Smiling, she answered, "As long as you're playing the codgy old Brit, I can't help but laugh. You need to loosen up, Severus," she advised, nudging his arm for emphasis.

Snape didn't stop glaring, but he relaxed in his chair, somewhat.

"Hey! Can someone take our order?" she cried to an employee rushing by. When he stopped and returned to their table, she explained, "I have two very hungry teenage boys, and if I don't feed them soon, I'll be in trouble."

"So sorry, ma'am. We're short on help today. I'll be happy to help you, if you're ready?"

"I am," Andrew spoke up.

"Me, too," Draco agreed eagerly.

"Good, good," said the waiter.

Severus addressed the short, sweaty man. "We'll all have the spaghetti…"

Emmaline interrupted, looking at Severus dubiously. "Speak for yourself, Severus. I'm having the spinach and Portobello ravioli."

"Chicken Parmesan, please."

"Fettuccine with the basil-garlic sauce."

Severus frowned. "Veal Parmesan."

"All very good choices. I'll get these out to you very soon."

"Thank you." She smiled graciously at the waiter.

"You always did know how to handle people, Emmaline," Severus remarked bitterly.

"And you always knew how to ruin the party atmosphere, Severus," she smiled wryly.

"I suppose we're at an impasse?" he asked as he unfolded his napkin and placed it on his lap.

Draco and Andrew exchanged looks – one puzzled and the other a bit shocked. Andrew shrugged when Draco looked at him questioningly. They both finally decided to watch the adults.

Silence reigned at the table until the food appeared. Everyone dug in hungrily as they had been subjected to the smells of the heavenly cooking while waiting for their own share. Also, it was a pastime that precluded talking.

Draco broke the silence first, commenting exasperatedly, "No one's going to steal your food, so do you mind not inhaling it?" He made a face of disgust at Andrew, who was devouring his helping of spaghetti. "I _am_ trying to eat here."

Andrew swallowed and wiped his mouth on his napkin. Contritely, he mumbled, "Sorry."

Draco noted that Severus looked at Andrew's mom uneasily. She, however, turned to him and said, "Thank you for that. I don't think the table manners I taught him stuck very well," completely surprising Draco. At a loss for words and somewhat embarrassed, he managed to nod shortly before turning back to his fettuccine.

* * *

They stood outside – grateful for their warm coats and the hot meal just eaten – in the blustery, cold, and gray weather.

Andrew shivered in his green and black all-weather jacket. Hands stuffed in his pockets, he fingered the small lump that was his luggage. "So," he began, "guess I'll see you around, Draco."

"Of course you will," Draco stated surely.

"Oh, okay…yeah." He looked back over his shoulder to the restaurant's door. Turning back, he caught Draco's eye. "I'll write to you, okay?"

Draco just barely shrugged. "Sure. And I'll write back."

"Good," Andrew grinned, rocking on his heels.

The adults exited the building, apparently arguing. Not that Draco and Andrew were surprised. So far, whenever the two had spoken to each other, it was always to make a sarcastic or taunting remark.

"Do you have _any_ Muggle money, Severus?"

"That is not the point."

"Yes, it is." Shaking her head, Emmaline waved a hand vaguely. "Anyway, it's a _moot_ point now." Addressing the boys brightly, she asked, "Now, what would you two like to do?"

Draco was surprised. He had assumed they were going to ditch him first chance they got. Andrew looked a little puzzled but answered, "I don't know, but maybe something inside."

Severus was frowning. "Emmaline, you're not thinking of taking these two farther into Muggle London…?"

"Why not?"

"It is not a good idea…" Severus frowned heavily, his arms crossed – his usual defensive posture.

Rolling her eyes, she replied, "You can come along if you think it's that dangerous."

Severus' expression darkened further. "I didn't say that."

"Mom," Andrew tugged at her sleeve and pointed, "what about that?"

Seeing a sign that read 'British Museum', Emmaline grinned. "Perfect. I think you'd love it, Andrew. What do you think, Draco? A trip into human history interest you?"

Still puzzled and glancing between his godfather and Andrew's mom, he hesitantly answered, "Sure."

* * *

Draco and Andrew stood gazing at the Rosetta Stone, a little apart from a group of Muggles clustered around it.

Emmaline stole up behind them. "Magnificent, isn't it?" she whispered.

Draco nodded slowly, his concentration on the stone.

"I…I never knew…" Andrew said, his voice full of awe.

They felt her smile as she leaned in closer. "It's one of the best kept secrets in the wizarding world. One doesn't talk about it – it's too sacred."

The three of them stared at the stone, faint outlines of the entire thing surrounding solid basalt. While the stone was plain, the semi-visible outline and top fourth was embossed with glowing runes, obviously of Arabic origin.

Hours later, Emmaline stood just inside the room with artifacts from the Americas. She was watching Andrew follow Draco around as he asked a myriad of questions, most of which it seemed Andrew couldn't answer.

Severus approached her silently, standing behind her right shoulder. She must have felt his presence since she didn't jump when he spoke.

"You aren't leading the tour?"

Shaking her head absently as she still watched the boys, she murmured, "Native American culture is not my cup of tea."

Severus nodded.

"Where have you been?"

Severus replied, "The Asian collection."

Emmaline frowned. "I couldn't get the boys over there. They were too fascinated by the mummies."

Smirking, he leaned forward and spoke close to her ear. "We could go back…and you could leave them here."

She shook her head, and Severus stepped back to avoid her hair. The boys had nearly come full circle around the room, and Emmaline stepped forward.

"Guys, it's getting late…"

'Yeah, and I'm hungry again."

Emmaline chuckled. "You hungry, Draco?"

He shrugged as if unsure, glancing at Severus.

"Okay, come on, time to go," she ushered them towards the large atrium. Severus followed silently.

Emmaline gasped as they stepped outside. "Look at that sunset!" The sun had moved below the clouds and its light was cast upwards, creating a ceiling of amber, ruby, and gold. "Come on, kids, I know exactly where to go to enjoy this." She took them to an underground station, nearly pushing Draco through the terminal to the platform – he was gawking at everything. While they were waiting for the train, she leaned in close and whispered, "You okay?"

"Yeah," Draco whispered back, glad that she had one arm around him. He would hate to get lost in the sea of Muggles.

Andrew stood back from the tracks beside Professor Snape. Hands in pockets, he was silent for a while. Screwing up his courage, he said in a low voice, "Sorry about all this. Mom can really take over sometimes." After a pause, he added, "You just have to let her go and hope it'll come to a stop soon."

Severus turned his head to look at the teen beside him. He certainly knew his mother well. It was strange, though, that he was apologizing for her. "There is no need to apologize," he said at last. "This whole thing was her idea."

Andrew snapped his head to look at his professor, but the man was staring impassively at the far wall.

Before Andrew could think too long on this, the train arrived and they boarded. It was too crowded to talk and almost too crowded to think. At least he knew for sure that it was his mother who pulled him from the Malfoy home. The only question he had now was – why?

They emerged near the Thames and made their way straight to a bridge. Leaning against the railing, Emmaline inhaled the river-water air. The breeze had died down and they stood quietly – Draco between Emmaline and Andrew, Severus behind them as if on guard. The sun sank towards the horizon, dimmed by its distance, until it was gone and the warm colors turned to cool ones.

"It is time to go now." Severus' low, steady voice floated over to them through the dim light.

Emmaline nodded and turned to see Severus touch Draco's shoulder. The young man turned reluctantly and walked a short distance away. Severus nodded at Andrew. "Enjoy your holiday."

"You too, sir." Andrew looked at his friend. "Bye, Draco."

"See you around, Logan."

Andrew couldn't see Draco's face. He was out of range of the waxing street lights and half-hidden in shadow. The two men left quietly as Emmaline joined her son in the light of a nearby lantern.

"Want some dinner?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah." Andrew stared at the cement beneath their feet, his hunger lessened to make room for a gnawing feeling of worry.

His mother put her arm around him and led him into the gloom.


	20. Conversations

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ **dunedaingirl** – thanks for reviewing! **cecelle** – thanks for beta-ing and reviewing. I'm glad you guys are enjoying this!

_Chapter 19_

_Conversations_

Two figures appeared in the dark alley behind the Leaky Cauldron. The taller one jerked open the old, wooden door, and they both entered the warm pub.

"Wait here," Severus hissed lowly, as he passed Draco and approached Tom the barkeep. He returned after a few words and beckoned Draco to follow. They ascended the wooden steps to the second floor and walked down a murky corridor. Severus stopped in the middle and reached into the sooty black shadows. He must have opened a door, as Draco was subsequently pushed into what he thought must otherwise be the wall. He heard a door close, and then Severus cast a spell.

"_Arduro omis candela._"

The tapers in the room flared to life, and Draco could see it was a sitting room, shabbily furnished by his standards. Feeling safe in his godfather's presence and mentally exhausted from the eventful day, he dropped into one of the worn, leather armchairs. Severus opened the door at a knock and accepted a tea tray. He brought it to the small table between the chairs. The men went through the ritual of preparing tea without a word, daily repetition dictating their movements.

When Draco had taken a long sip of his tea, he posed his first question of the night. "What's the plan from here?"

Severus looked at him over the rim of his tea cup. He deliberately took a sip and swallowed before lowering his cup and answering.

"Andrew met his mother and went to stay with her."

"That's it?" Draco cried, nearly spilling his tea. At Severus' look, he set the cup and saucer on the table. "Lucius isn't going to buy that."

Severus frowned. "It is not the best explanation, but it the only one that will make it easy for you." He looked at Draco meaningfully.

"I can lie."

"Not to Lucius."

Draco frowned and decided to change topics. "He knows. About father, I mean."

Severus lowered his eyes to his cup. "I believe so."

"He didn't say anything to you?"

"Mr. Logan…," Severus stopped and looked up at Draco. "Andrew keeps much to himself."

"I'm beginning to realize that."

"It is what makes him Slytherin."

The two looked at each other, a lifetime of experience and knowledge passing between them as a knowing look.

"So, I just say…"

Severus interrupted, "I will tell Lucius. You will just confirm my statements."

"And Muggle London?"

"…will be Hogsmeade. I will make sure our alibi is tight. The Italian restaurant is the Three Broomsticks. The British Museum is the Lindon Theater. The Thames River is the lake at Hogwarts."

Draco nodded, staring through the tea set as if focused on something far away. "But we were really there, weren't we, Severus?" he whispered as if speaking too loudly would turn the lies into truth and the truth into a dream. "We rode under ground…we saw the Rosetta Stone…all of it?"

Severus looked at his godson, really looked at him as he had not done so in some time, perhaps before he came to Hogwarts six years ago. He had changed, subtly. He was no longer a clone of Lucius; Severus saw some of Narcissa in him now. He held himself naturally more like her than his father. In his eyes, in the quiver of his lips, he saw something else unplaceable. Had Andrew, this newcomer, really affected the previously inflexible boy? If so, he had done something that Severus had not been able to accomplish, something he had been wary of accomplishing.

"I…He was supposed to go to the Yule party." Draco glanced at his godfather, trying to catch his reaction. "Though he doesn't have any dress robes." He sipped his hot tea slowly . "I suppose he could borrow one of mine, if the hem can be let out, that is."

Severus spoke, interrupting the boy's rambling, "I don't think that's possible now."

Draco looked puzzled and opened his mouth, ostensibly to ask why.

"His mother will not let him attend." Severus looked at the boy steadily.

Draco sat lost in thought for some time, his tea forgotten. "She knows," he said at last.

Severus did not acknowledge the revelation, but set his cup on the tray and rose. "It is time to return."

Draco nodded, still half-lost in thought. He followed his godfather out of the room. The door closed silently behind him and the lights winked out.

* * *

It wasn't until they had entered the small room at the bed and breakfast, located just a few blocks from the bridge over the Thames, that the two spoke. His mom wheeled to face him, hands balled on her hips. "I can't believe you! You had me so worried!"

Andrew looked up at his mom from the twin bed he was sitting on. He recognized the tone of voice and the quick switch from anger to worry. He hadn't seen his mom like this since that time she hexed a Muggle out of their front window. He watched her pace, back and forth, in the small space near the door. He knew she was formulating a question very carefully. He knew there were things his mom kept from him, things she didn't like talking about.

It hurt him that she had a past that she had to run from. Sometimes it caught up with her, and he would return from the library, escaping into the cool house from the hot June sun, to find her crying uncontrollably. Tears would stream down her cheeks, only whimpering accompanying them. When he was little, Andrew would cry with her. The attacks, as he thought of them, lessened over the years, and his sympathetic crying stopped. Instead, he would hold her, being big enough now, rocking her softly. He skipped such platitudes as "It's okay" and "It'll be alright," because he knew they really were useless.

"It's all my fault."

"What?" Andrew snapped out of his reverie.

Emmaline sighed and massaged her temple. "I…I should have asked," she looked at her son, "with whom you were staying."

"You knew it was Draco."

"Yes," she said sharply, "but what I didn't know was his last name."

Andrew broke eye contact and, instead, looked down at his hands.

"I didn't ask because I trusted your judgment." Andrew's head sank with guilt. "You were right," she continued more softly. "He's a great kid, if a little ignorant of Muggles." Andrew saw the playful grin on her face and knew things would be okay. However, she frowned next, saying, "It's his father that I don't trust." She looked at him sharply, eyeing him hawk-like. "What do you think of Lucius Malfoy, Andrew?"

Andrew took a deep breath and then let it out. He cocked his head to the side, a gesture his mother recognized as his "I'm ready to debate with you" sign. "The first time I met him, I could tell he was powerful. He was very sure of himself, very eloquent and graceful."

"The first time being when?" asked his mother, her eyebrow raised in curiosity and warning.

"Earlier in the year." Andrew plunged on before his mother could comment on that. "Draco rarely talks about him. I think he's a bit afraid of him, to tell the truth."

"I don't doubt it," the dry, low remark from his mom just registering before he continued.

"When I got to Draco's house, he was very friendly, giving me a bit of a tour of the place, pointing out the library especially. Although Draco doesn't talk _about_ him, he certainly does talk _to_ him." Andrew paused to look up at his mother cautiously, curious about her reaction. She was leaning against the room's main door, her face set stonily. "Draco's parents seemed nice enough, but there were…the talk was…um, they referred to Voldemort as 'The Dark Lord' instead of what everybody else uses: 'You-Know-Who' or 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.'"

"So," his mother asked in a voice which meant Andrew should tread lightly, "did you suspect he might be a Death Eater?"

Andrew spoke the next words hesitantly. "I kinda…um, well, I heard…" He gulped and said in a rush, "I knew he was a Death Eater."

Instead of the outburst of anger he expected, Andrew saw his mom tear up. The tears kept coming and he leapt up to embrace her as she started sobbing.

"I'm sorry."

He felt her shake her head. "No, you're not," she insisted. "You were curious."

Andrew blushed guiltily, glad his mom couldn't see. "Yeah, maybe just a bit."

"Stupid!" she shouted, pushing him away. "How could you be so stupid! Your curiosity…" she gasped for breath between shouting and crying, "your curiosity is going to cost you…" Instead of finishing the sentence, she collapsed on the other twin bed, sobbing in earnest now.

"Mom," Andrew murmured, reaching towards her.

"Don't." She waved him away. "You need to think about what you've done. The decision you made." Grabbing a handful of tissues, she rolled over on her back and blew her nose. Andrew leaned back against the wall and sighed heavily. The only sounds were the light traffic noise from the street and his mother's sniffling.

"You knew he was a Death Eater, too."

The sniffling stopped.

"Maybe it was cavalier of me to go stay at the house of a person I knew to be a Death Eater, but…" Andrew cast for words as his gaze traveled over the room. He didn't want to accuse her of withholding information; it would make her feel too guilty. However, he had to make the point. He was tired of having things kept from him, things that he might need to know. "You knew Professor Snape when you were younger. He's Draco's godfather, you know. That means you probably knew Mr. Malfoy, too." When he looked at his mom, she was playing with the tissues in her hands and avoiding his gaze. "Mom."

She shook her head and smiled as if at a private joke, "I still can't believe he's a professor." Looking at him, she asked, "Did you know that every time you called him 'Professor' I was trying not to crack up laughing?" She hauled herself off the bed, and Andrew followed her with his gaze, wondering how to keep her talking. She shivered and spoke as if to herself, "God, it is so weird being here."

Surmising that she didn't mean that room specifically, Andrew asked in a casual voice, "When was the last time you were here?"

She turned her head sharply and regarded him with a closed expression. Andrew knew at once that he had asked the wrong question. To cover his grimace, he leaned forward to look at the clock on the nightstand. 10:13 pm. Only 5:13 pm at home. He sighed. "I miss home. How's everyone?" he asked, looking back at his mom.

She smiled encouragingly, "They miss you, too."

* * *

Emmaline woke to a soft, yet insistent, knock on the door. Momentarily thrown by the unfamiliar surroundings, she spotted Andrew asleep in the next bed. Jumping up, she grabbed her wand and crept, barefoot, to the door. She opened the door with her left hand and peeked out, right hand firmly gripping onto her wand. She hid it behind a fold of fabric from her nightgown, ready to resort to magical force to protect herself and her son.

In the incandescent light of the hall, a man stood, hands at his side. Emmaline blinked stupidly, not able to reconcile the incongruous sight with the racing of her heart.

"Remus Lupin?" she asked unsurely.

He grinned. "Yes. It's good to see you again, Emmaline."

"What are you doing here?"

"A mutual friend sent me. It seems some people are more curious than we thought they'd be."

"A mutual friend?" Emmaline asked disbelievingly.

Remus grinned again and said softly, "With lots of white hair?"

Understanding dawned on her face.

"Mom?" asked a sleepy voice. Emmaline glanced at Andrew and saw that he was blinking sleepily from beneath his covers.

"I'm sorry to disturb you in the middle of the night," Remus began apologetically, "but we don't feel it's safe for you here."

Andrew, fully awake now, approached with his wand drawn. "Who are you?"

Emmaline sighed, "This is Remus Lupin…"

"Oh," said Andrew, in a tone indicating he knew the name. He dropped his wand arm and asked, "So, we're leaving?"

Remus nodded.

"Where're we going?"

"A safe house." Looking around apprehensively, he asked, "Mind if I come in?"

They stepped aside as he entered. "I have a portkey that will take us there."

Emmaline nodded. "Pack up, Andrew, and dress warmly." She held out a hand to stop him. "No magic. It's better if we don't leave any magical signatures here besides that of the portkey."

Andrew nodded and grabbed his suitcase.

Once they were ready, standing before Remus with luggage in hand and coats over their nightclothes, he brought out a post-it note with an address on it. Emmaline pulled Andrew against her with her free hand. "Remember going to New Mexico?" she murmured.

Andrew nodded silently.

"This'll be much shorter…so it may be rougher."

Remus grimaced in empathy and held out the small piece of paper. It read "12 Grimmauld Place." They all grasped a corner.

"One…two…three –"

Emmaline felt the paper tear as she stumbled back and fell on her butt in wet grass. Making a noise of exasperation, she hauled herself up and brushed off her nightgown, glad she had put on jeans underneath it.

"Mom!" came a furious whisper. Emmaline squinted into the dark, the streetlamps' glow not penetrating the area. She started toward the sound and found a warm body. "Okay, this way," said the body, which belonged to Remus. Emmaline clutched his shoulder and let him guide her. They finally entered a dark door and found themselves in a large entryway. Emmaline grasped her son's arm, trying to keep him close. It wasn't much warmer than outside, but there was a bit more light.

Remus ushered them with a "Shh…" up a flight of stairs into what appeared to be a parlor or drawing room. Dumbledore sat in a plush, purple armchair, grinning madly.

He stood when they entered and exclaimed quietly, but with much enthusiasm, "Welcome! Welcome, welcome!"

Obviously worried, Emmaline asked, "Has Lucius…" but she was interrupted by the old Headmaster.

"Now, now…there'll be time to talk about all that in the morning. Right now," he turned the disheveled mother around and led her to the door, "we all need to get some sleep. It's late…or very early, depending on how you look at it."

"But…" she weakly protested as she looked into his twinkling eyes.

"Remus will show you to your room." He passed her over to Remus who guided her by the elbow to the stairs.

"Goodnight" softly wafted up to them as they ascended the stairs.

They finally reached a room with a double and a twin bed. The relocated family set down their luggage. Emmaline turned to Remus.

"In the morning, Emmaline," he reiterated. He departed quickly, remembering just in time how demanding she could be when she wanted answers.

Andrew shrugged off his coat and plopped onto the twin bed. "There had better be some explanations in the morning," he mumbled before turning over with a sigh. In a minute, Emmaline heard his deep breathing which signaled that he was asleep.

She finally sat on the remaining bed and put her head in her hands, exhaustion and despair evident on her face.

* * *

The floo flared to life, briefly, and Severus Snape stepped into the drawing room of 12 Grimmauld Place. He spoke to the figure in the purple armchair, but his gaze was on the drawing room doors. "Where are they?"

"They are upstairs. Safe, Severus."

He looked at Dumbledore. "I'm going to see her."

A hand on his arm belied Dumbledore's age as Severus had been halfway across the room when he was stopped. "In the morning, Severus. They need to sleep now." He patted the younger man's arm and turned to toddle back to the armchair.

Severus narrowed his eyes at the old man, not fooled for a moment by the act.

"How did your visit go?" Dumbledore asked mildly, as if inquiring about a mere social visit, which on the surface, it had been.

Frowning deeply, he crossed to sit on a worn leather sofa next to the Headmaster. "Lucius is suspicious." After a pause, he added, "About my motives."

"Oh?"

"According to Draco, Lucius was considering recruiting Andrew."

Dumbledore nodded slowly, as if not surprised. "He would be an asset – to either side."

"I don't understand, Albus. Andrew is as likely to join the Death Eaters as I am to teach Divination."

That made the old man grin. "I agree, but he hides his true feelings well, Severus."

"Draco has said as much."

"You are an accomplished Legilimens, as well as skilled at observation. Did your own analysis of his character not lead you to the same conclusion I and young Mr. Malfoy have come to?"

Severus sat staring ahead as if not seeing the world around him. He could barely be heard when he admitted, "I saw only his mother in him."

"So you knew." It was a statement of fact.

"It became glaringly obvious after a while," Severus said dryly. "It is apparent he is much more skilled at concealing his opinions from others. Never from me, though," he concluded, a hint of awe creeping into his voice.

Dumbledore merely nodded.

Severus shook his head, clearing his thoughts and bringing himself back to the present. "I will be back in the morning."

"Alright, Severus."

Dumbledore didn't move after his Potions master Flooed away. He sat thinking for a long time.


	21. All That Glitters

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ BIG HUMONGOUS **THANKS!** to my beta, **cecelle**, who is ever so patient with me.

_Chapter 20_

_All that Glitters…_

Emmaline dressed in jeans and a light sweater. Throwing her makeshift robe on top for both warmth and so her appearance would blend in with the rest of English magical folk, she treaded lightly down the stairs, unable to avoid the inevitable creaking of those ancient flights. She stopped on the first-floor landing and peered, arms crossed defensively across her chest, into the sitting room. Her breath caught as she saw Severus Snape look up from the unlit fireplace and fix her with a glare. Most people would have quailed under the intense vibe the man gave off, but Emmaline did not – could not. She was captive for a different reason. She remembered too well this man's touches, his kisses, and his passion. A slight frown surfaced when she compared the confident young man she remembered to the battered man now before her. It was easier to separate her feelings with the contrast of the two images firmly in her mind.

Emmaline broke the silence first. "Good morning."

Severus inclined his head slightly, but otherwise, she received no response.

"I was wondering…"

"Emmaline!" a cheery voice interjected from behind her. She turned to see Remus Lupin ambling down the steps.

"Good morning, Remus."

"Andrew not up yet?"

She shook her head. "I thought it best to let him sleep."

"Of course."

"Could you show me to the kitchen?"

"I'd be delighted!" he answered perkily.

Emmaline ignored the dark look Severus had plastered on his face and followed Remus down the stairs.

She pushed through the decaying, scorch-marked door to a large kitchen. It had to have been spelled bigger using wizarding space, as it did not appear to fit the size of the house. A plump woman with vibrant red hair was bustling about the room, shaking pans and stirring pots on the stove.

"Morning, Molly," Remus greeted her as he entered.

"Remus, dear, how are you this morning?"

"Fine, just fine, but I could do with a cup of coffee?"

"Of course, just help yourself," she said, handing him a pot.

"And this is Emmaline, Andrew's mother."

"Oh, hello, dear. Coffee for you, too?"

"No, thanks," she replied. "I never got around to getting used to it."

Remus smiled up at her from his cup. "Tea then?"

"If there's some already made."

"Why, we're British. We've always got the kettle on," Molly quipped. "There you are, dear." She handed a hot cup to Emmaline.

"Milk and sugar?"

Emmaline nodded. "Yes, please."

Remus chuckled softly. "It appears that you picked up _some_ good habits while you were here."

Emmaline just raised her eyebrows over her cup of tea. "I'll have you know, Remus, that I've taught a good many Americans how to have a proper cup of tea – the English way. Andrew included," she added for good measure.

Remus grinned and sipped his coffee. The stove sizzled and the smell of potatoes drifted over. Emmaline's stomach growled.

"That smells wonderful. Can I help you with anything?"

"No, need. I've got it under control," Molly replied.

"Yes, but it'll go quicker if you've got help, right?"

"I suppose, but…"

"Right, what do you not want to bother with?"

"The potatoes," was Molly's terse reply.

"Got 'em," Emmaline said as she took up the spatula and began turning the hash browns. She did not see Remus wink at Molly and Molly smile back.

* * *

Emmaline looked up from stirring the baked beans (deciding to forgo the argument with the resident Brits about why that shouldn't be a breakfast food) when loud footsteps were heard on the stairs. All in a rush, several teenagers and a few young adults came tumbling through the door and collapsed at the table. Somehow they all managed to sort out the seats so that each person got one. Emmaline suppressed a laugh and saw Andrew enter the room. He was much more hesitant than the others. However, when he saw his mom, he strode over to her with a smile. She smiled back and hugged him, glad to be able to do so after being separated from him for so long. The rest of the room had gone silent when he appeared, and it seemed they only just then noticed that there was a second cook.

"For those of you who don't know," Remus stood and addressed the crowd, "this is Andrew Logan. And his mother, Emmaline." He smiled encouragingly at them. Emmaline smiled back, feeling it was rather forced. She didn't know any of them beyond Remus.

Andrew crossed his arms defensively and was nearly scowling. Emmaline nudged him a bit. "Hungry?" she asked quietly.

Andrew nodded and looked at her. Before he could say anything, the door opened once more, revealing Severus Snape. Emmaline dropped her hand from Andrew's shoulder and turned back to the stove.

Severus shot the room a disdainful look and strode to the table. Chairs skidded across the stone, creating an awful noise, until there was plenty of room for the professor to sit. He drew up a chair to the exact middle of that space and sat, his arms crossed defiantly. Andrew sat next to him.

"Sir," he acknowledged his teacher.

Severus nodded once in his direction, the action less stiff than when he had done the same to the lad's mother.

Molly began loading the table with dishes, and a soft murmur started at the other end of the table.

Severus froze as Emmaline leaned over next to him to place a dish of potatoes on the table. He relaxed again when she straightened, and he heard her footsteps walk away in the midst of the noisy kitchen.

Soon, the other end of the table hushed and Severus looked up to see everyone eyeing him and Andrew – the only representatives of Slytherin – in the room. As if in answer to an unasked question, Andrew spoke. "What? You think I shouldn't be here?"

Ron Weasley's face was stony.

"It's true. At least for some of you. You think I'm as bad as a Death Eater just because my best friend is Draco Malfoy." Several people around the table reacted to this last statement – all differently – except for Emmaline. Severus thought back to his protests to Dumbledore about staying any longer this morning. He had only reluctantly agreed to stay. Now, he was glad he had done so as Andrew and Emmaline appeared to need another Slytherin on their side.

Molly Weasley opened her mouth, ostensibly to change the subject. Emmaline's hand on her arm made her pause.

"It's his battle," she whispered. It was loud enough in the now quiet room for all to hear.

"_Draco's_ a Death Eater," came a determined protest.

"You don't know that," said someone else.

"He's been a right snot to us from the beginning!" Ginny nearly yelled.

"And that makes him a Death Eater?" Andrew asked calmly.

"He's _evil_."

Andrew leaned back in his chair. His posture was deceptive – seemingly at ease, Andrew was really ready to pounce. "What's evil?"

Ron eyed him for a moment before taking the bait and responding. "The opposite of good."

"And you're 'good' all the time?"

Several people looked uncomfortable, and there was a general shifting of bodies in chairs. Emmaline appeared to be holding in laughter.

"Do you really think someone could be 100 percent totally evil _all the time_?"

"Voldemort could," was Harry's quiet, steady reply.

Andrew turned his head and grinned at Harry. "I guess you know, Harry," he said amicably. Addressing the rest of the table, he looked at each person, one after another. "I doubt Voldemort remembers the first warm day of the year when you kick off your shoes and wiggle your toes in the grass before running around the lawn. I doubt he could tell you the last time he dressed up and went hunting for candy up and down neighborhood streets in the crisp and smoky air of autumn. And Christmas…!"

"What's your point?" asked Bill, wary of the answer.

"We're all human – uh, Voldemort excluded – and, as such, we're neither good nor evil. We're inherently a blend of the two. Nice, normal guys can be serial killers. Weird, introverted people can be infinitely generous."

"So don't say Draco is evil," he looked at Ginny, "because you have some bad in you and he has some good in him." Andrew's hard look softened as he noticed tears springing to her eyes. Harry's hand moved to cover hers.

"You're saying that everyone is redeemable."

"Yeah, Harry, but I'm also saying that everyone's capable of great evil as well as great acts of kindness."

"You sure you're not Dumbledore on Polyjuice potion?" Ron asked warily.

Andrew laughed. "I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not."

"Neither are we," remarked Harry who was looking at a smirking Hermione and giggling Ginny.

"All right now, time to eat," Molly firmly said.

"Great. I'm starving," Ron complained, digging into his eggs.

* * *

Emmaline cornered Severus before he could Floo out of the house.

"Well? What happened that we had to come to this hideout?"

He looked at her searchingly for a few moments before speaking. "When I returned with Draco to the manor, I told Lucius that Andrew's mother showed up in Hogsmeade – looking for him – on her way to Hogwarts. Draco was instructed to gather his things and owl them."

Emmaline crossed to sit on one of the couches, guessing that this would be a longer story than she had originally thought. Severus regarded her for a moment before taking a seat himself in an armchair. He faced her and continued his story.

"Draco did send an owl, but he did not send Andrew's things. He sent a letter to me. It was covered in anti-tampering spells." Severus's face was grim. "According to Draco, Lucius has been looking into Andrew's background for some time. I'm certain that he does not know that _you_ are Andrew's mother. He would certainly have mentioned it to me if he did."

Emmaline gave a commiserating smile. She remembered only too well the taunts that not only the Gryffindors, but Severus' best friend, Lucius, had made about her. It had bothered Severus to no end, but she only had found them annoying and sometimes even a bit funny.

"The point is that he _will_ find out. With his heightened suspicions, Albus and I deemed it necessary for the two of you to go into hiding immediately. We sent Lupin to retrieve you, as I could not afford to be seen if surveillance had already been put in place."

Emmaline nodded, thinking over the situation.

"Mom," Andrew said from the doorway.

"Hmm?" Emmaline looked over at him.

"I want to send Draco a letter. Would that be okay? And could you, Professor, get it to him?"

She frowned. "Severus, if Lucius is going to find out about me anyway, there's really no harm in letting them correspond."

Quietly, Severus spoke as Andrew came into the room and sat by his mother, "I would rather he didn't, but I don't suppose your records in the States are classified?"

Emmaline hesitated. "To an extent. I do work for a government contractor. But he would be able to find out _normal_ things," she glanced at her son, "like where I live." Turning back to Severus, she added, "That is, anything the Muggle government would know."

Severus nodded as if he had expected such an answer. He grimaced before saying, "You may have to speak to him after all. I know what lengths you've gone to in order to avoid him…"

Emmaline shook her head adamantly. "No. No way. If I don't have to…"

"But you may," Severus interrupted reasonably. Leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees, Severus clasped his hands together. He spoke earnestly, "Emmaline, it may be inevitable. He is already suspicious because I let Andrew go off with you, most likely without proper identification of you as his mother. Andrew's word might be enough for most, but I have a reputation for being…ah…slightly paranoid."

Emmaline looked at the dingy, dark curtains that hid the only window, willing herself to just bite the bullet – get it over with – and see Lucius Malfoy again. Andrew placed a hand on hers.

"Mom," he said softly. "You don't have to do it alone. I'll be there."

Emmaline sniffed and found herself tearing up. "I think I'd be more nervous if you were there, but it's a nice gesture, sweetheart." She smiled fondly at her only son.

"I, of course, will be there," Severus spoke matter-of-factly.

Emmaline jerked her head to look at him. "That would help," was all she said.

Severus turned to Andrew. "Write your letter. I will owl it from Hogwarts. It is better for him to believe you are staying there than that you are in hiding."

Andrew nodded and jumped up. When he had left the room, the two adults sat in silence for some time. After a while, Severus pressed his handkerchief into Emmaline's hand, noticing the tears trailing silently down her cheeks.

She sniffed and dabbed at her eyes with the plain white cloth. "I've spent so much time avoiding this – coming back, seeing him…seeing you." She chanced a peek at him, but he sat stoically, arms crossed. "It's hard to admit defeat," she chuckled half-heartedly. Looking up at her companion, she said sincerely, "Thank you."

Severus nodded once, slowly. He did not know what to say. What do you say to the woman who doesn't want to be where you are? What do you say to the woman you once loved and haven't seen in over 18 years? The simple answer is that there is nothing you can think of, at least spur of the moment, to say to someone like that. Severus sighed silently and glanced to the doorway. What was taking Andrew so long?


	22. Parents

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Thanks again to **dunedaingirl** for reviewing. I love it when my reviewers agree with me – especially about food! **cecelle** is an awesome beta. This chapter would make so much less sense without her helpful comments and instructive criticisms. If you think she does a great job as a beta, you should check out her writing! (After you read this chapter, of course!)_ PS – This was the chapter I should have uploaded earlier. hangs head in embarrassment But wait! Because of my mix up, you're getting two chapters at once! _

_Chapter 21_

_Parents_

"Mom?" Andrew stood in the doorway to their room at 12 Grimmauld Place.

Emmaline looked up from her work and smiled. "Come on in, sweetheart," she said and cleared a space next to her on the bed.

"You know how you asked what I wanted for Christmas in your last letter, and I wrote back that I didn't know?"

"You've come up with something?"

"Yeah," Andrew said, taking a sudden interest in his sneakers. "Um, I want to go to Draco's Yule Party," he nearly whispered.

Emmaline stared at her son for a moment. "Why?"

"Well, Draco's told me a lot about it…"

"Uh-uh, that's not it."

Andrew began again. "His cousin, Persephone, will be there. She's supposed to be real pretty…"

"Not buying it, Andrew." Emmaline's voice was the perfect blend of motherly disbelief and chastisement.

Andrew sighed. Sometimes it was difficult to be Slytherin around his mom. Andrew smiled inwardly at that thought. He had unconsciously started substituting 'sly' and 'clever' with the word 'Slytherin.' "I want to go, Mom. Draco's my best friend. I really wasn't kidding when I said that at breakfast yesterday."

"I know," she said, her tone much more understanding.

"He doesn't have anyone else to hang out with…well, not anyone he'd want to… I, well, it'd be pretty cool for us to, you know, hang out together at the party."  
Emmaline closed her eyes, a pained expression on her face.

"Maybe we could ask Professor Snape to go. You know, to…look out for me. He's a family friend of the Malfoys…"

"I know," she said, sounding bitter. She looked at Andrew. "I _know_."

"Oh, well…" He stopped as his mother shook her head.

"I don't know, Andrew." Sighing, she added, "Let's ask Severus what he thinks first."

"Okay." Andrew hesitantly smiled. It was incredible how the adults' animosity toward each other had changed into careful concern. If they spent some more time together, his mom and Professor Snape might just be able…well, to be friends, at least.

* * *

Severus sat in his office, gazing out of the windows at the bright winter afternoon sun. It was a light that brought no warmth, only illuminated the stark landscape below. His thoughts were wandering, afraid to stop on one memory for very long. Images of Emmaline – as a young girl of sixteen, as an almost-adult eighteen, and, more frequently, as a mature thirty-seven year old woman – were recurrent in his head. He felt as if he would smother under the images.

Severus drew a deep, shuddering breath. He closed his eyes and began his Occlumency routine – sorting through all the images and placing them aside, each in its own proper place.

A soft knock on his door was followed by Dumbledore's voice as he poked his head into the room. "Have you a moment, Severus?" the Headmaster asked.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, come in, Albus." When he looked up, the old man was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"I was wondering if now would be a good time to restore your memories?" Dumbledore brandished his wand.

Severus narrowed his eyes. "What makes you think I would want that?" Albus' over exaggerated air of concern did not fool the reformed Death Eater.

"I should think you would _need_ all of your memories in order to…deal with the woman."

Severus glared back. "No, Albus!" he growled.

The men were silent for a full minute before Dumbledore broke eye contact. The battle of wills was over; Severus had won – this time. "Oh," Dumbledore exclaimed, turning around at the door, "I almost forgot. Ms. Logan and her son would like to speak to you at your earliest convenience."

Severus visibly paled.

"Good day, Severus." The Headmaster waved vaguely as he exited the room.

* * *

Severus Flooed into 12 Grimmauld Place, startling a couple at the kitchen table. "Andrew?" he asked, ignoring their embarrassment.

"Up…upstairs," was Ron Weasley's stuttered reply. "I think."

Severus regarded the speaker with haughty disdain. He ascended the stairs only to find them blocked by another couple sitting side-by-side on one of the steps.

"Um…"

"Would you mind moving, Potter?" Severus barely managed a civil, if somewhat irritated, tone.

"The Logans are in the drawing room," Ginny Weasley spoke up helpfully.

"Thank you, Miss Weasley." Severus acknowledged her with a slight nod of his head and brushed past them.

"Professor?"

Severus sighed. "Yes, Potter?"

"We don't really have anything against Andrew. Ron just has a…well, he's not very good at…trusting Slytherins." Potter sped up his words as if to leave the words he'd just spoken far behind and quickly. "I trust Andrew, and I know Ginny does, too." The young woman nodded emphatically. "But, we're not sure we can trust Malfoy."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "I see," he said, his voice hard with maybe a touch of bitterness in it. The three of them stood there for a moment before Severus ended the misery. "I must speak with Andrew and his mother now. If you will excuse me." He turned stiffly and made his way down to the lowest level of the house.

Even before he pushed through the drawing room door, he heard Lupin's insipid voice. "The Order is bogged down with dead-ends, false information, and numerous small raids that the Death Eater camp has been doling out, but we must investigate every lead."

"Seems like you need a way of prioritizing information so you can investigate the most important stuff first." Andrew's concerned voice brought a small smile to Severus' lips. _Sometimes it takes a Slytherin…_ Entering the room, he smiled more broadly at Andrew, as the boy looked up from the discussion.

"Professor Snape!" Andrew grinned.

Severus schooled his expression into one of aloof interest as the two adults turned to look at him.

"Hullo, Severus," Lupin greeted him evenly, a hint of distrust ever-present in his voice.

"Remus," Emmaline addressed the seated man, "would you mind giving Andrew and me a few minutes to speak to Severus?"

"Not at all." Lupin smiled tightly, registering her no-nonsense tone and the glare from his peer which clearly stated "Get.Out.Now." Even if he had been disinclined to follow Severus' orders in the past, he was not about to disobey Emmaline at any point. Not only was he eager to cultivate her favor – for she would be a great asset to the Order – but he would rather stay her friend than not. He was determined that there would not be a repeat of last time. Years ago, it was his own fault that he had lost her. With the exception of the Marauders, Remus was not used to people wanting to be his friend and habitually let potential ones slip through his fingers.

After Lupin left, Emmaline warded the door with some spells Severus had never heard of, but he trusted her judgment and skill, and therefore added none of his own. He took a seat across from mother and son.

Emmaline leaned over to Andrew, who now was staring at the floor. "It's your idea. You pitch it."

Andrew gulped and glanced up at her. "Well, sir, I…" He chanced looking up at his professor and found the man's face to be impassive. "I want to go to the Yule Party at Draco's house."

Severus was confused. He looked to Emmaline for a hint, but she merely looked back at him, waiting for his reaction. "Why do you want to go?"

Andrew's face paled, and he turned to his mother incredulously. Did he really have to go through all this again? She only shrugged.

He began, unsure of his words. "Well, I want…" Suddenly tired of all the accusations from the Gryffindors and the thinly veiled unease of the adults – excepting his mom, his professor, and the headmaster –the anger and frustration of the last few days coalesced. "Sir, Draco is my best friend. Best one I ever had. That's weird for two reasons. One, I've never had a best friend before. I've just never clicked with anyone. I had no idea what it was like to be a best friend. Now I know. They're a bit like family in that you'll make sacrifices so they'll be happy.

"Two, I don't like Lucius Malfoy, but probably not for the reasons my mom doesn't." He looked to her questioningly, but she only nodded her head for him to continue. "He's not a very good father. I mean, Draco has every material thing he could ever want, but _he's _never had a best friend either, before me. I don't think Draco knew _how_ to be a friend. His parents don't seem like the type that gives hugs or listens to you when you're hurt." Andrew looked sheepishly at his mother. She had always been there for him. He was grateful for her support and determined to pass what he had learned onto Draco. "Also, I'm afraid for him. I don't want Draco to be a Death Eater like his father – which I'm pretty sure he will be if nothing changes. He worships Lucius to the point that he has no respect for himself." Andrew had been looking back and forth between his mom and Professor Snape. Now he looked the older man in the eye and said almost fiercely, "I'd do a lot to keep Draco safe and happy. I think going to this party _will_ help towards that end."

Severus let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding as Emmaline embraced her son.

"I'm so proud of you," he heard her murmur. She pulled away and looked at him. "I want the same thing."

"You do?" he asked somewhat skeptically.

"Draco deserves better, especially never having had a loving family. Plus," she smiled devilishly, "it _would_ be the ultimate revenge against Lucius."

Severus frowned as Emmaline laughed. Andrew smirked at the thought.

"Good intentions are one thing. You both need the conviction to back them up. That _includes_ facing Lucius, Emmaline."

She nodded somberly. "I know."

"You would do this for Draco?" he asked again.

Emmaline looked at Andrew for a moment. "I do this for my son. For him," her gaze was intense as she turned to Severus, "I would do anything."

* * *

Draco walked into the sitting room. It was the day before the Yule Party, meaning it was two days 'til Yule and presents! It was the highlight of his year, because after all, you couldn't count Quidditch (Potter always ruined that), his love life was nil, and his birthday just wasn't celebrated as much. Idly, he wondered what Andrew would be doing for Yule. He pictured his best friend with his mom, cozy by a fire while snow fell softly outside. Andrew would get two or three presents and be inordinately happy and satisfied. Draco frowned as he thought back to all the wonderful stuff he had gotten over the years just from his parents alone. None of it was quite satisfactory.

He glanced at his mother, sitting at the writing desk, silver quill poised gracefully, ready to write the next phrase. His father was seated in a plush leather chair, a cup of tea cradled in his hands. He was grinning madly at whoever was on the other end of the firechat. Curious, Draco took a seat out of his parents' view and listened.

Lucius chuckled. "Severus, it is never too late for you to RSVP, old friend." He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees. "So, who is she?" he asked, his tone playful.

Draco barely heard a faint grumbling issuing from the fireplace.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten the reason I've banned you from parties at Malfoy Manor?" Lucius smirked, but his eyes glittered like a cat that has cornered its prey and is ready to play. "You cannot come without a date." He frowned thoughtfully. "I'd prefer you brought a woman, but I won't stop you from bringing…whatever you like."

Draco rolled his eyes. Lucius was only succeeding in alienating his godfather. It wasn't the best tactic to employ if Lucius really wanted Severus to attend the party.

"See that you do, old friend. See that you do." Lucius' ominous tone matched the serious expression and narrowed gaze he wore as he closed the Floo connection.

"Who was that, dear?" Narcissa called from her spot at the writing desk.

"Severus…"

"Oh? What did he want?"

Lucius stood just behind his wife's left shoulder, vainly trying to suppress a grin. "He's coming to the Yule Party."

"Really," Narcissa said disbelievingly. "Didn't you kick him out three years ago for not bringing anyone with him?"

"Mmhmm," Lucius murmured in acknowledgement.

"Then…" she turned around to stare wide-eyed at her husband. "He's found a date!" She sounded unsure and excited at the same time.

"Apparently he has. Although, I don't know who it is." Lucius shrugged elegantly. He would eventually meet…whomever…tomorrow night.

Narcissa's face screwed up in thought – most unbecoming for her, Draco thought – before she turned back to her writing. "I do hope," she added as a subtle hint to her husband, "that he doesn't show up with a lady of ill repute."

Lucius looked confused before replying, "I do think you're forgetting just who he is." His voice hardened as he continued, "He is from a line of proper, pure-blooded wizards. He's hardly likely to bring a prostitute to a society party."

Narcissa harrumphed, as if to say she'd believe it when she saw it.

Lucius shook his head slowly, somewhat amused at his wife's point-of-view, but mostly disgusted with it. He had known Severus since he was a first-year. The man was _never_ inappropriate. Well, there had been a time when he had encouraged Severus to visit various bordellos – his personal favorites anyway – but the man had never quite taken to the sport. That was when he was trying to snap Severus out of his blues. It was just a mere six months after that woman had left to go back to the States. Lucius sneered even now when he thought of her. He was brought out of his thoughts when his gaze fell on his son – his only son. He stopped himself from frowning and, instead, adopted his cheery disposition from the firechat with Severus.

"Draco, you'll be pleased to hear that Severus is going to attend the Yule Ball."

Draco managed only a wan smile. "That's good."

"Yes," Lucius' smile fell flat. "Well, it will be someone for you to talk to at least." He waved a hand lazily in the air. "You can discuss potions or whatever it is you two like to talk about."

"Potions," Draco repeated stonily. His face barely concealed the suppressed rage underneath. His teeth gritted, he grasped the arms of the chair he was occupying until his knuckles turned white. "If Andrew hadn't left, I would have someone my own age to talk to!"

Lucius slowly walked over to stand in front of Draco. By the time he stood, arms crossed, in front of the boy, Draco's anger had given way to fear – his face now white and eyes locked with his father. "Zabini. Parkinson. Nott. They'll all be there."

Draco fought hard not to gulp. His mouth was dry anyway. "Yes, but…"

"But?" Lucius queried, his tone deceptively light. "Draco, you cannot put all of your eggs in one basket. You must create a network of acquaintances…acquaintances that _owe_ you."

Draco nodded tersely. "Yes, sir. I understand, but…"

"No buts!" Lucius' eyes which were glittering earlier were now positively spitting fire. "You cannot count on one person to watch your back for you. Andrew is an intelligent and talented young man, albeit a tad uncouth. He has his own agenda, I assure you. Do not make the mistake of counting on one person to carry you emotionally." Lucius sneered down at his son. "Ask Severus, why don't you? He has made that mistake before. I doubt he would want you to do the same."

Draco melted into his chair when Lucius had left the room, glad that he was gone. He glanced up at his mother. She pretended not to have heard the altercation between father and son, such as it was. Draco felt it was okay to sit there for a while as his mother was ignoring him.

He knew Lucius was wrong about Andrew. He was sure of it. Andrew had defended him against the Gryffindors. Andrew had helped him with his Potions project and had even confided in him about his secret ingredient. Draco thought about Andrew's mother – Emmaline. She was – Draco glanced at his mother, so beautiful and perfect – the opposite of everything he had experienced a mother to be. She was a _mom_. Someone who was loving and kind and _real._ It was very new to Draco and something he would like to experience a little bit more.

He sighed and looked out the window. That wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Andrew and his mother were gods-knew-where and weren't coming to the Yule Party.


	23. A Party is a Party is a Party

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ I messed up in posting – getting a little ahead of myself. I apologize for any confusion. This chapter was posted earlier instead of Chapter 21. It's all fixed now so read them both!

_Chapter 22_

_A Party is a Party is a Party_

Emmaline was only slightly surprised when Severus appeared in her bedroom door. He hadn't knocked, but then the groaning stairs had given his approach away.

"Come in, Severus," she greeted him cheerily. Resuming her search for her hiding traveler's checks, she didn't notice how close he had come until he cleared his throat. She nearly strained her neck looking up at his looming form, so she patted a clear space on the bed. "Sit down, why don't you?"

He did but only stared at her. Looking up briefly, she asked, "Did you need something?" She tossed the pile of papers – her passport, travel insurance, bed and breakfast guide – aside and kept digging in her luggage. His hand on hers stilled her movements. She pursed her lips and sighed. "I'm sorry, Severus." She set everything aside and turned her full attention to him. "Go ahead."

Now that he had her full attention, he _still_ didn't say anything. His face turned slightly red, from the neck up, and Emmaline wondered if he was feeling alright. Before she could reach out her hand to touch his shoulder, he spoke – a rush of air let out of a balloon – "I need a date for the Malfoys' Yule Party."

"Oh," Emmaline frowned thoughtfully, "is there anyone from Hogwarts that you keep in touch with? That isn't married, I mean…"

Severus looked at her strangely.

"Come on, Severus, you can't expect me to find someone for you…"

When he spoke this time, he sounded as if he was nearly being strangled by his words, "You don't know…? I thought…" He finally cleared his throat and stood up. By the time he had walked to the door, he knew what to say and how to say it. "It would be best for you to go with me. That way, I don't have to entertain anyone, and we can both keep an eye out for Andrew." Severus continued more softly, "It would also be better for you to face Lucius sooner rather than later."

Emmaline was nearly green; the thought of having to face Lucius Malfoy was so nauseating.

She could only nod jerkily. "Okay," she said faintly after a while.

Severus nodded with finality and turned to leave.

"Wait!" she shouted, jumping up only to stop suddenly in front of him when he turned. "Um, Andrew needs dress robes…"

Severus smirked. "Yes, I know."

"Could we perhaps…?"

"I will arrange it." He nodded shortly and strode out of the room and down the rickety steps.

It wasn't until he had a handful of Floo powder and was standing in front of the fireplace that he realized he had finished her sentences, anticipated her needs. And, he had glanced down at her chest. Squeezing his eyes tight in an attempt to rid himself of the image, Severus gulped a large breath of air, threw the powder, and shouted his destination.

* * *

Andrew contained his glee until they had exited the house. "I can't believe we got out of there!" he grinned, nearly jumping up and down with excitement. Emmaline, too, was glad to be out of the moldy, cramped house even if it was freezing outside.

"Our Portkey," Severus reminded them as he withdrew a newspaper from his robes. The other two grasped hold, and he activated it. "One, two, three…"

They appeared just outside Hogsmeade. Andrew's face fell a little. "Hogsmeade…?"

"It is much safer than Diagon Alley at present, especially because it is so close to Hogwarts," Severus explained.

Emmaline took in Andrew's disappointment. "Could we go into Muggle London?" she asked Severus. "It would be nice to have lunch there."

"The fare at the house does not suit you?"

Emmaline smiled fondly. "No, Molly's cooking is fine. It's just that I want a simple salad with a light dressing. Maybe some fish cooked only in olive oil and seasoned with lemon."

Severus smirked. "Something light?"

She whined, "Yes! I could really do without so much butter. I'm not going to be able to fit into my clothes when I go back as it is!" Emmaline blushed a bit when she realized what she had admitted with her last sentence, but Severus didn't appear to notice. Of course, she wasn't as small as when she was in her late teens, but she had had a baby and was a mom. Excuse enough, she thought.

They entered the robe shop, and an elderly saleswitch greeted them. "Good morning! I wasn't sure we'd have any business today, it being the day before Yule, but you are most welcome! Just have a look around; let me know if you find anything you like!"

"Thank you," Emmaline smiled at the jolly woman. Severus nodded and began looking over the tops of the racks.

"Um, I need dress robes," Andrew blushed. "Don't know anything about them either," he admitted.

"Right this way, dear," the saleswitch directed him over to the men's side of the store.

"What are you looking for?" Severus asked Emmaline out of the blue.

"What?"

"Surely you didn't bring a set of dress robes…?"

"Oh, no, I didn't. I suppose I'll have to look…"

"Any particular color?"

"Not ice blue."

Severus frowned. That was the color she had worn to the last party they had attended at the Malfoys'. He supposed it had little to do with that fact and more with not wanting to repeat her dress. That was, of course, if anyone remembered her. Severus nearly cursed aloud. Lucius would remember her – no doubt about that.

Emmaline glanced over at Andrew. He was being measured by a very attractive, young saleswitch. He was busy scowling into the mirror and perhaps hadn't noticed her prominently displayed bottom. Emmaline smirked at a rack of purple velvet monstrosities.

"Oh, dear, you don't want any of those. Not with your skin tone," the elderly saleswitch tsked, as she held out a moss green chiffon creation that Emmaline was sure she could never pull off. "I found something to match your eyes, dear. Here, let's hold it up and see how it looks." A full length mirror zipped across the store at the beckon of the salewitch's wand. "Oh, dear! Oh, no, it makes you look so sallow!" She whisked the garment away.

Severus approached with a beautiful pale green silk in his hands. "What about this?" He held it up to her. There was some embroidery on the bodice and wide straps for the shoulders. The skirt was full and the waist low; it would hide many flaws. Overall, the dress was understated and elegant – exactly something Severus would pick out.

"Oh! That one is lovely!" the saleswitch cried. "Let's try it on, dear." She dragged Emmaline and the dress off to the fitting room. Emmaline had one last glance of Andrew tugging at his sleeves while the young saleswitch batted her lashes at him before she was swept behind the fitting room curtain.

"Now, let's see if it fits…"

"What size is it?"

"A…six," she replied, checking the tag.

Emmaline frowned. "Do you have an eight?" she asked, hopefully, stepping into the skirt. "Or a ten and I can spell it smaller in places…"

They had both lifted the bodice up, but the waist of the dress did not stretch far enough to encompass Emmaline's waist.

"Oh, dear…"

Emmaline shot the saleswitch a death glare which the latter did not take notice of.

"Find a ten," Emmaline directed her contemptuously.

"Let me see what I have." The saleswitch left, a bit less jolly than when they had entered.

Emmaline emerged from behind the curtain briefly, her regular robe clutched about her throat. Severus was standing nearby. "How's Andrew doing?"

"He's still oblivious to the flirting."

"Poor thing."

"I think he can handle it."

Emmaline smirked. "I was referring to her."

Severus smirked back, but quickly averted his eyes. They seemed to gravitate to her chest without his consent. This was the second time in as many days. For the life of him, he didn't know what he'd do tonight when they would perhaps be more prominently displayed. He guessed that they were a bit bigger than he remembered, too. She would probably say that it was because of having a baby. _Stupid. Why do I care about the size of her breasts?_

Emmaline spotted the saleswitch approaching. "Why don't you go help Andrew?" she asked of him. Severus nodded vigorously, glad to get away from the woman and into the familiar territory of men's clothing.

As he left, the saleswitch declared, "I'm afraid I only have a twelve." Emmaline groaned, and the two disappeared into the fitting room.

* * *

After a quiet lunch, where she and Andrew pigged out on Indian food, Emmaline begged off further interaction with those at 12 Grimmauld Place in favor of a nap. She didn't sleep well, however; apprehension over tonight's party washed over her in waves. The funny thing was that she was more apprehensive about being with Severus than facing Lucius again. As much as she tried to convince herself that Lucius was the bigger problem, her stomach only clenched fearfully when she thought of Severus dressed in formal robes. What would he look like? At nineteen, he had seemed out-of-place in them; she was much more used to his lab robes. She was also more familiar with him laboring over a potion than exchanging small talk with the rest of Lucius' friends. Of course, she would have rather been anywhere than in the same building with Lucius Malfoy. The man was just _creepy._

* * *

"Well, what do you think?" Andrew stood in front of Hermione and Ginny dressed in his new robes.

"They're very nice…"

Andrew smiled. "Thanks, Ginny."

He heard Hermione sniff disdainfully behind him. "What?"

"You're really going into that wasp's nest?"

"I have to."

"You sound like Harry."

Andrew smirked. "From what I've heard, Harry does anything for his friends. So, yeah, I probably do." He left the room to go change back into jeans.

In the hall, he ran into Harry. After glancing briefly at the room Andrew had just left, he said, "I wanted to ask you…Is this okay?" He gestured at the room. "I mean, me and Ginny being together?"

Andrew frowned. "I thought she would have told you…Harry, I just want her to be happy." He shook his head sadly. "I knew she wasn't happy with me. It was just…a little difficult for us to be together." Certainly there was a thrill in defying the taboo on Slytherins and Gryffindors dating, but the need to hide the relationship from Slytherin House seemed to make things more strained than he would have thought.

Harry nodded, his gaze thoughtful. "I guess Ron being around all the time didn't help much, either."

"Yeah, it put a damper on things." Andrew smirked. "Now it's _your_ turn to deal with her brother." He stepped up beside Harry, as the latter pondered that inequity of the universe. "Don't forget the other five, too." He chuckled lightly as he patted Harry's shoulder and left the worried boy on the landing.

* * *

Emmaline stood in front of a faded, full-length mirror in Mrs. Black's old room. Peering through the dust and cobwebs that blanketed it, she frowned at her appearance.

"That light shade of green does suit you," Remus observed from the doorway.

Emmaline sighed. Desperately, she asked, "Why did I agree to this again?"

"I believe you gave in to your son's request."

Grimacing, Emmaline made a gesture of despair. Remus could tell she was close to a breakdown, so he crossed the room and pulled her into his arms. She rested her head on his shoulder.

"I don't think I can do this," she cried as tears began falling.

"I believe you can, if you put your mind to it," he said softly.

"The thing is," she sniffed, "that I've been there before."

"Malfoy Manor?"

She shook her head. "No, I mean, the Christmas party."

"Bad experience?" Remus rubbed her arms soothingly.

Emmaline gave a very feminine snort. "I was continuously fending off Lucius."

Remus started. "What did Severus do about that?"

"He doesn't know," she whispered.

Remus didn't respond, but only held her more tightly. "Mom…" Andrew stopped short when he entered the room.

"Andrew…" Emmaline murmured, wiping at her eyes. Remus produced a handkerchief and pressed it into her hand.

"Time to go, Mom." Andrew watched his mom step out of Remus' embrace and approach him.

"You look so handsome," she gushed, still a bit teary.

"Thanks." Andrew smiled a little. He liked Remus, but sometimes the man seemed too mild-mannered. However, he was willing to set aside his feelings for anything that would make his mom happy. She took his hand and they walked down the stairs together.

Emmaline squeezed her son's arm. "I know you're excited…"

"And you're nervous."

"…to see Draco," she continued more forcefully. After a pause, she added, "I'll be happy to see him, too."

Andrew looked at his mother. "You've really taken to him, haven't you?"

She nodded slightly. "He's not at all like his father…except for maybe his hair." She glanced at Andrew and made a face when she saw him watching her.

"You know, you're much prettier when you're not making faces," he teased.

Luckily, before she could stick out her tongue, Severus stepped from the shadows at the bottom of the stairs. Instead, she sucked in her breath…and her gut, too… He was dressed all in black – as usual – but the fabric was softer than his day-to-day work robes. There was piping along the collar and cuffs, but unlike Andrew's robes, it was black instead of green.

Severus reached for the wrap draped over Emmaline's arm.

"Thank you," she whispered as he helped her don it.

Andrew barely suppressed a smirk as he watched them together. They were treating each other very gingerly, as if a rough touch or harsh word would break them. "How are we getting there, Professor?" he asked.

"Portkey. We will have to walk about a block from here to activate it."

Andrew nodded and followed the adults out the front door. He noticed his mom had clutched Professor Snape's arm as soon as the icy air hit them.

"Andrew…" she motioned him beside her and held him close to her other side for warmth.

"Why don't you use a warming spell?" he asked.

She shook her head. "It'll be warm in the Manor."

Andrew fell silent, wondering about his mother's past with these two men – Lucius Malfoy and Professor Snape.

The three of them walked down the sidewalk, two splotches of black surrounding a pale, shimmering green.

* * *

They arrived in a corner of the portico set aside as a Portkey and Apparition point. The three of them walked around the well-manicured bushes and across the drive to the large, polished front doors. Emmaline shivered, but not from the cold. It was pleasant under the portico, though a bit cool, but she didn't notice the temperature; her thoughts were in the past.

_Severus had met her in the Entrance Hall of the castle. They had walked out beyond the gates – his arm warm around her shoulders, his cloak draped over them both – where he had produced a Portkey. They arrived in the midst of holly trees with fairy lights. Rounding a corner, they crossed over a gravel drive and glided up a set of wide marble steps to large, ebony doors. They paused in front of them only briefly, before they opened and the couple was ushered inside. Their wraps were taken from them, and Severus led her towards the grand staircase. On either side of the hall, red velvet-covered flights led to the upper levels. Between them was a grand set leading down to windows that overlooked the expansive lawn behind the manor. They turned right at the bottom and followed a wooden-paneled passageway to large double-doors. These opened at their approach, the sound of a large party escaping to their ears._

_Emmaline smiled nervously as Severus squeezed the hand she had hooked around his elbow. He smiled down at her fondly, apparently glad to have her with him. She was dressed in a cranberry red, which looked much better on her than she would have thought. She had on a pendant – a stunning dark garnet – which was held on by a thin green ribbon. It was a bit old-fashioned – Severus had mentioned his grandmother wore gems in such a manner – but it would not be considered out of place._

_They swept around the edge of the crowd until they came upon a gaily lounging group, situated on cream furniture almost too modern for the wizarding world. Severus stopped beside the elbow of a long-legged, blonde man. _

"_Lucius…"_

_The man glanced up before laughing as he got to his feet. "Severus," he greeted the dark man warmly with a firm handshake._

_Severus half-smiled. He released Lucius' hand and turned toward his date. "If I may formally introduce you…" Lucius nodded, eagerness lurking behind his eyes. _

"_Lucius, you remember Emmaline Evesbury. You met her in Hogsmeade earlier this fall."_

_Lucius extended his hand so that he could grasp hers and plant a kiss on it, but his usual plan to charm all the women he met was impeded when she clasped her hands behind her back. She nodded silently at him as if perusing an item at an auction. Nearly sneering, Lucius looked over to the settee, extending an arm to assist a beautiful, butter-blonde, porcelain-skinned woman to his side. "Narcissa, darling, may I introduce you to Severus' date?" Looking down her nose, Narcissa smiled superiorly, obviously confident that she was still the belle of the ball. "Emmaline Evesbury…my fiancée, Narcissa Black." Narcissa seemed pleased when Emmaline curtsied. _

"_It's nice to meet you, Miss Black."_

_Narcissa inclined her head slightly. "Severus, dear, would you be so kind as to fetch me something to drink?" she requested, her eyes never leaving the new girl._

_Severus bowed slightly toward her and left, brushing against Emmaline as he went. It was the most reassuring touch he could manage, she supposed, but it wasn't nearly as comforting as she needed it to be. _

"_Won't you have a seat?" Narcissa indicated a seat adjacent to her. Emmaline sat, minding her skirt so it wouldn't wrinkle. When she looked up, the blonde couple sat languidly on the settee. Narcissa's silk gown spilled generously over her legs and brushed the floor. Emmaline, in taffeta, felt stiff in comparison. _

"_Tell us…Emmaline," Narcissa asked disinterestedly, "You're from the States, are you not?"_

"_Yes," she said, loud enough to be heard through the noise of the room. _

_Narcissa looked over to Lucius whose eyes were firmly fixed on the young woman sitting across from him. "You remember the history of the Evesbury family don't you? Why they emigrated to America?" _

_Emmaline stiffened slightly. _

"_Apparently," Narcissa continued, turning back with a slight sneer, "they thought to establish themselves as purebloods. Not that anyone this side of the pond would recognize them as such…"_

They paused before the front doors. Andrew stepped forward to knock. Emmaline was glad that Severus had a tight grip on her arm. She didn't feel too steady, and it was becoming difficult to breathe. The door opened and a house-elf stood just inside the door, bowing profusely. They left their outer garments with the house-elf and proceeded down the staircase to the ballroom.

Andrew trotted ahead happily. Emmaline struggled to keep her pace steady and not slow down. Severus slipped his arm around her back. "For your son…and for Draco," he murmured into her ear. He rubbed her arm soothingly before hooking her arm back around his. They entered the ballroom to the strains of a string quartet.


	24. The Bad Man

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ **dunedaingirl** – Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you're still reading! Here's the next chapter, which would never be this good if it wasn't for my beta, **cecelle**.

_Chapter 23_

_The Bad Man_

The room looked almost as she remembered it. The draperies had been changed and some of the furniture replaced. It had been nearly twenty years, after all. The same rich oak sideboards stood under the same huge, heavily-gilded mirrors, though. As they walked around the perimeter of the room, Emmaline didn't recognize any of the people, but Severus did. He nodded solemnly to anyone who looked their way.

Andrew had gone off in search of Draco as soon as they had entered the room. Emmaline had merely whispered, "Find us later," and he was gone.

Now they came to the windows which looked out over the rose garden and back lawns.

Severus spoke before they turned to face the crowd. "We must find Lucius before he sees Andrew."

Emmaline nodded. "Alright." She looked up at him hesitantly. He was looking at her intently. "Will you…"

He nodded briefly. "I will speak for us both." She smiled, and he again wrapped her arm around his as they turned back to the room.

* * *

Andrew smirked as he strode up behind his best friend, who was lounging in an armchair. Draco was trying for sophisticatedly bored, but was achieving only plain bored. Andrew tapped him on the shoulder and crossed his arms. "Don't tell me you're not the life of the party, Draco." Draco swung his head around, his mouth gaping incredulously.

"Andrew!"

Andrew's smirk turned into a smile. "Yup."

Draco's eyes darted around. "What are you doing here?" he hissed.

Andrew shook his head. "It's okay. I talked Mom into letting me come."

Draco cocked his head to one side. "By yourself?"

"No," Andrew looked out over the crowd searching for Professor Snape, who was much taller than his mom, "Mom's here." When Draco raised his eyebrows disbelievingly, he added, "With Professor Snape."

"With?" Draco repeated, skeptically. He shook his head. "You're not telling me…"

"Well, no," Andrew amended. "Not with-with, but…with."

Draco smirked. "Could you be any more vague?"

Andrew thought for a moment. "Okay, they're here somewhere."

This time, Draco rolled his eyes. When Andrew only stood there, smiling stupidly, as if he was waiting to be congratulated, thanked, or praised – the satisfaction of which Draco would not give him – he demanded, "Well, come on. Let's go find them."

Andrew shrugged. "Okay."

* * *

Severus spotted a familiar head of hair appear from the north end of the room. Lucius was evidently just joining the festivities from his study. "This way," he directed Emmaline, steering her through the crowd. Madeline McDermott had cornered Lucius – not that _he_ cared, Severus thought, knowing of Lucius' penchant for older women. Madeline was a dark-haired beauty, a wealthy widow, and several years older than Lucius. Severus approached them and spoke when he had reached Lucius' side.

"Pardon me, madam, if I may speak to Lucius for a moment?"

She smiled, a bitter edge to it as she was disappointed to be interrupted. It turned more seductive as Lucius kissed her hand. "Adieu, madam." The lady left, her hips swaying saucily. Lucius watched after her for a time and then turned to Severus.

"Severus…" he began, but stopped. His breath caught in his throat, when he saw who was on his friend's arm. She was older than he remembered her, but just as plain. Her face was screwed up into an expression of derision and distrust. Lucius couldn't help himself. He smirked. Widely. At her. That did it, he thought gleefully. Her countenance went from scornful to fearful in no time. "Well," he began delightedly, "you've found her, Severus!"

She now looked mortified. He turned to Severus, only to find a cool mask of...no emotion whatsoever. That meant the comment had hurt more than the man cared to show. Which was usually very little anyway.

"It's lovely to see you, too, Lucius," she finally spoke with much bitterness and not a little malice. It seems he had misinterpreted her reaction. He noted that and was about to make a comment about the color of her dress – it being green and her being a former Slytherin – but stopped when he saw his son and Andrew Logan approaching.

Andrew walked right up to her and spoke cheerfully, "Hi, Mom!"

Lucius stared open-mouthed as she turned to her son with a smile.

"Draco," she addressed his son. "It's so wonderful to see you again, sweetheart." Draco awkwardly bowed but was interrupted when she hugged him. When she pulled back, his son was _blushing_. That would have to stop.

"I believe," Severus began in his teacher's voice, "that you realize now why I felt Andrew would be safe with his mother."

"Yes," Lucius ground out. "Never mind that she left you without a word twenty years ago, and you haven't heard from her since…!"

She turned sharp eyes on him and spoke with an equally sharp tongue. "That is in the past, Lucius," she spat his name. "Severus merely helped in his capacity as a faculty member at Hogwarts."

"With Dumbledore's blessing, I suppose?" he accused his friend.

"The Headmaster asked me to…assist a parent. That is all."

"I see," he said shortly. "And it had nothing to do with your past…association?"

She sighed. "No," was the firm answer.

"It is fortunate that you could find such ready help to reunite you with your son. If you will excuse us for a moment…" Lucius half-bowed and steered Severus away. They stepped back through the hidden passage in the north wall and into Lucius' study. As soon as the door closed behind Severus, Lucius turned on him. "What did you think you were doing! Letting that…_woman_," he spat, "back into your life!"

Severus merely frowned. Lucius could hardly believe it. The man had been devastated when that woman had left him, and now…now he was stoically calm. It was infuriating.

He watched as Severus walked slowly over to the window. It, too, looked toward the rose gardens. Fairy lights could be seen flitting about the perennial plots.

"It is not what you think…"

"What should I think, _Severus_, when you bring her to the Yule celebration as your _date_!"

Severus turned from the window, arms crossed defensively over his chest, and smirked cruelly. "You said I could not come without one."

Lucius' look of incredulity morphed into angry disdain. "I would think you had better taste…especially after all these years and _especially after what she did to you_."

Severus merely pursed his lips and turned back to the window. He said nothing of Lucius' taste in women. As far as Lucius was concerned, Emmaline was beneath even the whores in Knockturn Alley.

Lucius leaned back in his large, leather desk chair. He sighed, something he rarely did, and said mostly to himself, "And she went and had some Muggle bastard's child as well."

He was staring pensively at the polished wood surface of his desk and, therefore, jumped when Severus slammed his hands down in front of him. "Don't," he began in his blackest, deadliest voice, "presume to pass judgment on that boy."

Lucius frowned. "Severus…"

"NO! He is Draco's friend. You will _not_ take that away from my godson."

Lucius schooled his features and voice into calmness. "I didn't realize you felt so strongly."

"He was under your roof for nearly a week. Did you fail to notice?"

Lucius smiled enigmatically. "Oh, I noticed…"

* * *

Emmaline looked worriedly after the retreating forms of Severus and Lucius. She was certain that Lucius would be filling Severus' ear with all sorts of horrid things about her. Oh, well, it didn't really matter now. She turned to the two teenaged boys, unsure how to explain things, but they were not there. She found them a dozen feet away, talking to a young girl. She was perhaps fourteen or fifteen, and what some would call big-boned, and tall for her gender. Looking at the girl's dismal fuchsia taffeta, Emmaline smirked at the memories of her first ball at Malfoy Manor. She was sure that taffeta had gone out with the Civil War and antebellum belles. She frowned, remembering how Narcissa Mal…_Black_ had looked positively regal next to Emmaline. The blonde witch had known it, too. Severus, on the other hand, hadn't seemed to notice and had even remarked later that he liked the color on her. Lucius…Lucius was another thing altogether.

"_You seem to have lost your date," the tall, blond man remarked as he slinked up to her. _

_Emmaline set her chin defiantly. "Severus is dancing with Narcissa…your fiancée…" she trailed off. _

_Lucius smirked. "Good." As he walked by, he hooked his arm around her waist. She was pulled along as he left the room. _

"_Where are we going?" she asked uncomfortably, squirming in his grip._

_He smiled predator-like. "Why, I wanted to show you the Malfoy library."_

"_Why?"_

"_I was sure you'd want to see it. Severus has said that you are very studious. Almost as much as him."_

"_Yes, but…"_

"_Now, now, we're almost there," he said placatingly._

_A few steps further down the hall on the first floor, he pushed open a heavy, glossy wood door. He escorted her inside, then went over to a shelf, fingering the book spines. "Mallery. Guereque. Abendroth." He read off the authors' names. "Interested?"_

_Emmaline pushed off the library wall, where she had plastered herself, just by the door. She sighed. "They're all dark wizards." _

"_Yes, they were," he agreed, his eyes locked on her slight form._

_She looked up at him. "I don't suppose you have any Muggle books?" she asked, cheekily._

"_No," he said darkly. "Of course not," he winked and reached for a book on a higher shelf. _

_Emmaline's attention was on the book titles, so she didn't notice when he brought one arm down to the shelf at waist level._

"The Importance of Being Important?" _she read, laughing to herself._

"_Mallery was such a pompous git," Lucius smirked. _

_He leaned down to her and spoke in her ear. "You must be something special…"_

"_Oh?" Lucius had pressed her to the bookshelf. She was trapped. Her breath came in shallow gasps, her heart raced in fear._

"_Severus is so picky." It wasn't an accusation, merely a statement._

_Emmaline smirked slightly. It was true, and she admired the man for it. She felt Lucius' lips on her ear and yelled, "Don't!"_

_Lucius moved his head back so he could look at her face. "Don't what," he said, his voice hard, daring her to protest._

"_I want to go back to Severus."_

_Lucius smirked. "I'm better than he is."_

"_No, you're not," she frowned._

"_Oh, but I am," he said and leaned forward to her neck._

_She pushed him hard. It did nothing. He continued to suckle on her neck, sliding closer to her shoulder. _

"_No," she growled and squirmed. _

_His hands came down to her waist and squeezed._

"_No!" she shouted, wrestling with his arms._

"_Shut up!" he growled and bit her collar bone._

"_Ouch!" She pounded on his chest futilely with her fists._

"_You deserve it. For not minding me," he said absently, focusing more on the contact of his pelvis with hers. _

_Emmaline nearly choked, panic threatening to take over. This was _not_ what she wanted. This was not _who_ she wanted._

_Twining her hands in his hair, she pulled until his red face and swollen lips were visible._

"_I'm with Severus!" she ground out. "I don't want anyone else, including you!" She jerked his head back violently while thrusting her knee into his groin, and he cried out at the pain. Emmaline ran blindly out the door and down the nearest staircase. She finally found herself out in the rose garden. Shivering from her experience, she barely managed to cast the healing spells which rid her of Lucius' work. Before tears could well up in her eyes, Severus was there. She clutched at him wondering what she should say._

"_It is late," he stated. "Shall I take you back to Hogwarts," he asked, looking at her perculiarly._

_She nodded silently, relief and joy washing over her. Severus did not ask what had happened to make her so tense, and she did not encourage him to do so. The episode with Lucius was pushed firmly back in her mind, and Emmaline hoped never to have to be alone with the man again. _

Emmaline remembered, bitterly, the first ball she had attended at Malfoy Manor. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be the last. When she left England, it was with a lighter heart, knowing that she wouldn't have to see Lucius Malfoy again. She had only been polite to him – he was Severus' best friend after all – but she longed to curse him into oblivion.

Returning to the present, she looked fondly at Andrew, suddenly noticing that he and the young girl were monopolizing the conversation, and Draco looked bored.

She smiled beneficently and went over to the trio. Giving Draco a one-armed hug, she turned her smile on the young lady who, interestingly enough, blushed.

"Oh…Ms. Logan…" Draco corrected himself at a look from Emmaline, "Emmaline, this is my cousin…Persephone Reynard."

They shook hands politely, as Andrew added, "She goes to Beauxbatons, Mom."

"I'm afraid I don't know any French…"

"Neither do I, but Persephone speaks great English," Andrew interrupted eagerly.

"Yes," the young lady said hesitantly, "but I believe I would have a hard time keeping up with Andrew."

Andrew just smiled at the light teasing. Emmaline looked at Draco, who seemed bemused by the obvious attraction between the two.

"I believe I've got a bit of room left in this dress," she remarked to Draco. "Want to join me for a bite to eat?"

"Sure," he said and escorted her away. He looked back briefly as they left, noticing that Andrew and Persephone lost no time resuming their previous conversation and were talking animatedly. He shook his head slowly.

"What?" Emmaline asked, so only Draco could hear.

"I'm not sure what he sees in her."

She shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know her," she said pointedly.

Draco looked at Emmaline, but she was loading her plate. He grabbed one, too, and walked behind her down the buffet table. "She's not very pretty."

"Oh, I don't know," Emmaline said musingly, adding an hors d'oeuvre to Draco's plate as well as her own. He was too lost in thought to notice. She shook her head and continued filling their plates.

"They keep talking about American-French relations." Draco paused. "I'm not sure if it's subtle innuendo or not."

Emmaline coughed and decided to change the subject quickly. "I trust Andrew. Don't you?"

Draco nodded, but realized that she was spooning caviar onto his plate and not looking at him. He smirked at her - she was mothering him again. His face fell as he remembered her question. "Of course. But he has weird tastes sometimes," he mused, shaking his head again.

Emmaline finally looked at him and smiled. "Come on, let's find a seat."

* * *

Draco had gone to dance with a girl his age, because Andrew had begged Draco to dance alongside him and Persephone. Draco had rolled his eyes and said something about Andrew's confidence needing a serious reality check. Or maybe it was his eyesight…

Emmaline smiled as she watched the young people dance, remembering her own awkwardness in similar situations. Her mother was forever setting up dates for her at events like these. Pureblooded parents liked to manipulate and plan their children's futures with no regard to the wishes of their progeny. Maybe that was because they only saw their children as progeny, not people with sensibilities of their own.

She smiled as she watched Andrew apologize again for stepping on Persephone's feet. She seemed to forgive him easily enough and did not protest when he tightened his grip on her.

"We must speak," Severus hissed at her, appearing suddenly at her elbow. She looked up at him searchingly, but took the proffered hand without hesitation. She wanted to ask what was going on, but knew better than to try and speak with him in public. He led her to a parlor off the main entrance hall.

"Sit," he told her, pointing at a sofa.

She watched him pace back and forth for a short time, as he composed what he was going to say.

"I'm sorry, Severus," she said. He was a bit surprised. "If I had known that Lucius was going to be so cruel," she sighed as if she should have known, "I would never have let Andrew come. We wouldn't have dragged you into this."

He cleared his throat. "It was a conscious decision on my part," he said defensively. Quietly, he added, "He should not have said that."

"Even if it is the truth?"

He avoided looking at her. He knew she was studying him, just as she had all those years ago. "That is in the past, and it should stay there." He had managed not to sound bitter.

"Okay…we can go that route…" she conceded.

He looked at her then. "I am not going to argue about something that happened eighteen years ago," he said in frustration. "I have moved past that." His eyes held defiance.

She sighed and nodded absently. "We've both changed so much…well, enough."

The last word hit him hard. He sank into the sofa beside her. Enough? Enough that they were completely different people and no longer compatible? Severus' gut clenched and he put his hands on the sofa cushion to steady himself, not noticing when his hand closed over hers.

"What do you think?" she asked.

A loaded question. How should he answer it? He dared turn his head to look at her. He saw a grown woman, but she was still his Emmaline. The same searching eyes looked back at him, the same soul – full of light and understanding – sat beside him. Before he could think past this thought, he leaned over and kissed her. The light brush of lips was not like anything he had felt in years. Not eight years ago, when he had last dated a middle-aged widow. Not seventeen years ago, when Lucius had dragged him from brothel to brothel to submit passively to a woman who was cloyingly perfumed, absurdly made up, terribly dressed, or a combination thereof. This was completion, the final turn of the key, home.

His hand squeezed hers, still lying on the sofa cushion.

He breathed. She swallowed heavily. Neither dared open their eyes.

Emmaline, Severus thought. "Emmaline," he said aloud, and nearly grinned when he felt her shiver.

His lips descended on hers again, this time more firmly.

A knock sounded on the door.

All motion stopped.

Severus instinctively cast the Nox charm as he drew back, ears alert to his surroundings. He did not, however, let go of Emmaline's hand.


	25. The Invitation

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Many thanks to **bugslife** for reviewing the last chapter. Glad you liked the kiss! By the way, ever since HBP came out, this story has been AU…or so my wonderful beta, **cecelle**, tells me. Without her assistance, you'd get a confusing and rambling chapter. Three cheers for my beta! Check out her story _Mist and Vapor_ if you love Snape/OC fics. It's awesome!

_Chapter 24_

_The Invitation_

Draco opened the door to the small sitting room and peered into the darkness. "Severus?" he whispered.

Furniture creaked and his godfather appeared in the doorway.

"What?" he asked, irritation in his voice.

At any other time, Draco would have quailed, but too much was at stake. "It's Andrew."

Severus raised one eyebrow in silent question.

"He's outside with Lucius."

Severus swept past him, leaving Draco surprised by his speed. Adding to his astonishment, Emmaline stepped into the light.

"What is it, Draco?" she asked, appearing concerned.

Draco swallowed nervously before stepping into the room and closing the door.

* * *

Severus emerged from the manor onto the grounds. He followed the sound of spells – sizzling in the cold night – until he espied two men. They were matched for height and faced each other across an expanse of lawn.

"What is it that you want, Mr. Malfoy?" Andrew asked. Severus was surprised and delighted to hear the strength and determination in the young man's voice.

The older man was breathing hard as he replied, "Merely to see how well you perform under pressure."

There was no response from Andrew.

"Draco will be brought into the circle soon. You are good friends – _best_ friends – We would like to extend an invitation to you as well."

"Even without knowing who my father is?" Andrew's quiet voice carried across the clearing.

Lucius shook his head. "It doesn't matter as much as you may think. It is apparent that you and Draco work well together. Severus had said as much. We'd like you to continue that partnership." Lucius dropped his wand arm.

"What if my father is a Muggle?"

Severus couldn't be sure, but by the tone of Lucius' voice, the man knew _something_. "We believe we are close to the truth. We can, of course, help you to find him."

Something in Andrew's voice changed. Severus understood it; he had spent enough time with his student to recognize when he began acting. Lucius had – or _nearly_ had – something Andrew wanted, so he'd play along for a while. "I would appreciate that, Mr. Malfoy." Andrew's stance relaxed finally, and he took a few steps forward. "When would our initiation take place?"

Lucius approached Andrew until the men were mere feet apart. "The ceremony would take place New Year's Eve." He grasped Andrew's shoulders and locked eyes with the boy. "We will find him. I promise."

Severus was about to interrupt, but Lucius stepped back.

Andrew nodded once, his face stony. "I'll talk to Draco. Let him know I'm in."

"Of course." Lucius' oily voice would have made Severus shudder if he hadn't been so used to it. He now moved to intercept the boy before he entered the manor.

* * *

"What's wrong?" Emmaline asked.

She had spelled the lights on and the two had sat side by side on the sofa. Draco had seemed so distraught that Emmaline had decided to stay with him while Severus went after Andrew.

Draco stared at his hands. "I'm…I'm sorry."

"What? What for?" she asked.

"I'm sorry," he repeated in a broken voice.

"Please tell me what's bothering you," she implored, rubbing his shoulder gently. When he looked up at her, Emmaline could see he was holding back tears. "Andrew…Lucius…" He didn't seem to know how to begin.

"Draco, _please_ tell me –"

"He wants him to be a Death Eater," he blurted.

Emmaline sat frozen in shock, unable and unwilling to process the information. It was clearly her worst nightmare come true.

"I'm sorry," Draco repeated.

Her focus came back to the boy beside her. "Oh, honey, it's not your fault." She pulled him to her and rubbed his back. Sobs rocked his body as he pressed his forehead into her shoulder. Pressing her cheek to his head, she tried to comfort him. "Andrew is strong. He'll be alright."

Draco shook his head defiantly.

"Yes, he will," she said, willing the boy to believe her.

He drew back and wiped at his eyes. "But…," he said, tears in his voice, "I want him to still be my friend."

"Why wouldn't he?"

Draco withdrew a handkerchief from his pocket at last and blew his nose delicately. "My father will make me join, and then he won't be my friend anymore."

Emmaline's face hardened. She held him by his shoulders. "No one can make you do anything you don't want to do." She looked him in the eye. "You're strong, too."

He shook his head vigorously. "No," his voice was small, "not around Lucius."

Emmaline frowned.

A rapid knock on the door sounded, and Severus entered the room.

Emmaline and Draco looked up at him expectantly from their seats on the sofa.

"It is time to leave," was all he said.

She nodded and rose to her feet. Draco followed, looking at his godfather with a defeated and resigned expression.

Putting an arm around him cautiously, Emmaline drew the blonde boy into a hug. "It'll be okay," she whispered. "We'll figure something out – for you both." She released him and went to take Severus' arm. He nodded formally to his godson, something akin to pity in his eyes, before the couple left the room.

"Where's Andrew?" she asked as they collected their wraps from a house-elf.

"He's coming."

Emmaline looked expectantly at Severus, waiting for an explanation.

He sighed. "He is saying goodbye to Miss Reynard." Severus swung on his cloak and took her wrap. Helping her into it, he resisted the urge to keep his arms around her. However, he did aid her in freeing her hair from underneath the wrap, lifting the honey tresses up off her neck and letting them fall down against the soft silk. He abruptly dropped his hands to his sides, however, when Andrew appeared at the top of the steps.

He smiled tentatively at the adults and thanked the house-elf that brought his cloak.

"Shall we?" Severus asked as Andrew fastened the clasp at his throat.

Emmaline took an arm from each man and held on tightly as they went down the front steps.

* * *

They arrived back at the safehouse on Grimmauld Place. Silently, they ascended the staircase as it was late at night, and they didn't want to wake the others. Also, none of them felt like talking – amongst themselves or to the others – about the evening.

Andrew sighed as he entered the room he was sharing with his mom. Emmaline watched as he undid his cloak and threw it down on the bed. He was loosening his tie when Severus touched her arm. She looked up at him, her eyes questioning. He drew her into the hallway and pulled the door almost closed.

"We should talk," he said quietly.

She was surprised. "Now?" she whispered back.

He looked into her eyes and she found she could not look away. He brought one hand up to touch her face.

"I know," he began, "that this is all happening very fast."

She smirked. "Wouldn't be the first time," she murmured.

He smirked back and grasped her face, bending to touch his lips to hers. Pulling back briefly, he spoke softly, "But it _is_ right." He kissed her deeply until she pushed him away.

"No," she denied him, breathing heavily. Frowning, she explained, "It's…it's been too long." She shook her head slightly, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

He kept his hands at his sides and nodded solemnly. "Perhaps we should…talk…in the morning." His expression was carefully neutral.

She smiled, regret showing plainly on her face. "Make it afternoon. It's really late now." She chuckled lightly.

He nodded again.

She blushed, mumbled "Good night," hesitated, then shyly reached up to plant a chaste kiss on his cheek before disappearing into her room.

Severus made it back to his quarters in the castle, although he didn't remember the trip later. He also didn't know how long he lay awake thinking about her – how beautiful she looked that night, how enchanting her smile was, how protective he felt of her and her son. It wasn't until he woke up that it came to him clearly – he was in love. Severus smirked. When had he ever _not_ loved that woman?

* * *

Andrew sat in the kitchen of 12 Grimmauld Place, his hands around a steaming cup of tea. It was a cold day, even though it was already past noon. He had woken to some noise out in the hallway. His mom hadn't been there. Since he didn't feel like talking about last night yet and was sure the other teenagers would ask him about it first chance they got, he waited until the hall was clear before venturing out.

Apparently, the other residents of the safehouse had already opened Christmas presents, as the drawing room was only occupied by Remus Lupin, who was reading the newspaper. Andrew had passed by quietly and made his way to the kitchen. No one was around, so he made tea for himself.

Taking another gulp of the scalding hot brew, he winced as it burned his mouth and throat. He vaguely wondered where his mom was, and that brought his thoughts back to last night. He frowned, a bit disgusted with himself for shutting out his best friend to talk to Draco's cousin, Persephone, but allowed himself a small smile when he thought of the kiss they'd shared right before he'd left the Manor. His expression turned into thoughtful concern when Lucius Malfoy's words came back to him. Hoping that both he and Draco could find a loophole that would allow them to avert Lucius' plans, he made a mental note to talk to his mom about possibilities. Perhaps even Professor Snape could help… The smirk grew large on his face as he relived his elation at seeing Professor Snape kiss his mom. His mom had never really had any other prospects so, if she was going to push Professor Snape away, maybe there was something he could do to push her back in his direction

He sat pondering the possibilities until interrupted by the Floo.

"Hello, Professor."

Professor Snape opened his mouth to speak. He paused before saying, "Hello, Andrew."

"Tea?" He thought he spied relief on his professor's face.

"That would be perfect."

"I didn't let it steep too long or anything, so it should be good."

Professor Snape nodded and fixed himself a cup. Sitting down at the table near Andrew, he took a sip before asking, "Where is your mother?"

Andrew frowned. "I don't know. I woke up, and she wasn't there. When I came downstairs, I saw Mr. Lupin in the drawing room, but I didn't want to speak to him, so I just came down here – and found no one." He shrugged.

"I see."

They sat comfortably in silence for a few moments before Andrew spoke again. "I really should owl Draco. I didn't get him anything for Christmas, and I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to him last night. I couldn't find him, actually."

"That is because he was with your mother in an upstairs parlor."

"Oh," Andrew exclaimed, somewhat surprised. "You know, he really has taken to her. Most of my classmates back home think she's…well, a little intense, I guess."

Professor Snape smirked and looked sideways at his student.

Andrew fiddled with his cup for a bit before venturing to ask, "So…what did you want to talk to Mom about?" He added in a rush, "If you don't mind me asking."

"Actually, it does involve you," said the professor replied, putting down his teacup. "I think Draco needs some time away from his father. Usually, when he gets bored of home, he comes to stay with me. This time, however, I could invite him to visit me so that we may continue work on his project."

Andrew nodded, indicating that he was following along.

Professor Snape took up his cup once again, but did not drink. "I also thought that you and your mother could stay with me. It would not only provide an alibi for your whereabouts these past few days, as we cannot provide this location to either Draco or Lucius, but also you will be able to see Draco."

"And so will Mom," Andrew said, turning to look at his professor. Smiling widely, he took another sip of his tea – forgetting that it was now empty. He made a frustrated face, but dropped it as his mom stepped through the kitchen door, her arms full of packages.

"Merry Christmas!" she exclaimed, hurrying over to hug her son, packages and all

"Oomph! Mom…" Andrew whined, good-naturedly.

Putting down her packages on the table, she turned to give him a proper hug. "Have you had breakfast?"

Andrew nodded. "I had some tea."

She looked at him narrowly. "A big dinner then. It's almost four o'clock." Her eyes swept over to the professor, and she gave him a brief, nervous smile before picking up Andrew's empty teacup to return it to the sink.

Andrew noticed that she seemed a bit nervous; his mom was usually cool, calm, and collected. He thought that perhaps he wouldn't have to push too hard to get her and Professor Snape together after all. Glancing at his professor, he noticed the man was covertly watching his mom rifle through the packages. "Mom? I know last night was a bit crazy…" she paused and looked up at him. He noticed that he had the professor's attention as well. "I really need to talk to Draco…about everything."

Smiling a bit ruefully, Professor Snape said quietly, "It is a good bet that Lucius has already informed Draco of your decision."

Andrew's face fell. "Oh. Well, I should write him a letter…" he trailed off. There were some things that you didn't want to put in writing. "But I'd rather speak to him in person."

"Honey, I don't know if that's possible," his mom frowned.

Professor Snape cleared his throat. "I have a proposal to make," he said, only afterwards realizing that he had perhaps not chosen the best words.

Andrew looked at his mom, a smirk threatening to surface. She had stopped rubbing his back to look askance at the professor.

Clearing his throat, the professor continued, "I will be asking Draco to stay with me for the remainder of the holidays, ostensibly to work on his project. It would be beneficial to him if you and Andrew would stay in the castle as well. That way, word can get back to Lucius that you've been staying at Hogwarts. They do not know about this location, and we must keep it that way."

In an effort to sway his mom, Andrew added his own two cents. "I think it'd be fun, Mom. I'd rather hang out with Draco than the rest of the teenagers in this house, anyway. Plus, you'd be around to be a good influence on him. He really likes you, you know."

She wiped at her eyes. "It _would_ be a better environment for him," she looked up at the professor, "even if it were just you, Severus. I think," she walked over and stood before him, "if the powers that be agree, it's a good idea."

Andrew broke into a grin. It became wider when he saw the two grown-ups smiling at each other.

"Can I write to him? Ask him to come?" At the man's skeptical look, Andrew added, "Come on, Professor, it'll seem more genuine if it's me asking."

Professor Snape finally nodded.

Andrew jumped up, yelling, "I'll just get some parchment and ink!" as he left the room.

Emmaline grinned at Severus. She handed him a wrapped package. "Send this with Andrew's letter." When he looked at it questioningly, she added, "It's a Christmas present for Draco, and, no, I'm not going to tell you what it is." She grinned and said playfully, "You'll have to ask him to show it to you when he gets to Hogwarts." More tentatively, she said, "Merry Christmas, Severus."

"_Happy_ Christmas," he emphasized the first word.

Emmaline just shook her head, a smile playing on her lips.


	26. Re'em Blood

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Thanks to my repetitive reviewers! **dunedaingirl** – happy that you're happy with the characters' progression. **bugslife** – me too! It would be devastating for Draco to be torn away at this point from the people he's come to care about and trust. Thank you to **cecelle**, my tireless beta-reader. I don't know what I'd do without you!

_Chapter 25_

_Re'em Blood_

They emerged from the Floo network onto a large hearth. Andrew stepped out to look around his professor's living room. Emmaline, following a moment later, cast a cleaning charm on them both.

"Through here." Severus led them into an adjacent room.

Andrew dumped his things on the double bed.

"I'm afraid," Severus began cautiously, "that there is not an adjoining bathroom."

"That's okay," Emmaline said, hanging a few things in the wardrobe.

"You will have to use the one in my room."

Andrew glanced up quickly at Professor Snape. He smirked at seeing the man blush, but hid it quickly by digging through his duffel bag.

"Draco should be here for dinner," the professor informed them as he strode out of the room.

Andrew watched his mom as she hung up her garments, applying ironing charms every so often.

"I think it'll still be better than Grimmauld Place."

"Mmmhmm," she murmured noncommittally. "Remember not to mention it. We were supposed to be here all along."

"I know," he smiled, and dumped some clothes on a nearby chair.

His mother laughed and shook her head. "_That_ will make it look like you've been living here!"

* * *

Draco emerged from Severus' hearth to the sound of a woman's laughter. He smiled. He knew whose laugh that was. His godfather was seated in his favorite leather chair, drinking a snifter of brandy. Draco raised one eyebrow. It was still a bit early, and he had rarely seen Severus indulge, even at parties.

"Draco," his godfather acknowledged him. "I have added a portal to your room. It is behind that tapestry."

Draco walked over to inspect the cloth, which had been incorporated into a large frame.

"I thought it would be less obtrusive than a portrait," Severus said as he approached. He pulled the frame back to reveal the Head Boy's room. A hand on his shoulder stopped Draco. "I have made an addition to your room. I thought you would not mind, but if you'd rather have the room to yourself, it can be removed."

Draco saw the extra twin four-poster decked in Slytherin green and grinned. "No, it's great." He took out his trunk and enlarged it. Opening it, he picked up the package on top. He took a moment to look around once again, feeling glad to be where he was. It was…comfortable. Definitely more so than his parents' house.

He walked back into the parlor to find Severus glaring at the hearth rug. Emmaline moved her gaze from Severus' face to Draco's, eliciting a hopeful smile from them both. Sitting next to her on the sofa, he said sincerely, "I wanted to thank you for the present." He unfolded the unique wrapping carefully.

"Do you like it?" she asked expectantly.

"Yes," he said, almost fiercely. He opened the photo album to the first page. "There was a photographer at the Yule Party. I'll have to see what pictures he took. I hope to find one or two to add to it."

She smiled as she slipped one arm around him to hug him to her. "I'm glad you like it."

Severus stared at the album, the covering of which was made of natural materials. It looked like something you'd purchase from a street vendor in the East Indies.

Draco noticed his stare and turned the album around. A picture of Emmaline and Andrew was prominent above an inscription. He placed it back in his lap and read it again to himself.

_To Draco, _

_May this album, like your life, be filled with friends and good memories. _

_Love, Emmaline and Andrew._

That no last names were used made it all the more personal. They would never forget him as he could never forget them.

* * *

"If only we could find your potions ingredient," Draco groused. He looked over at Andrew's bed. His friend was lying across it, flipping through one of Draco's Quidditch magazines. "Andrew…"

He wasn't paying attention to Draco, apparently. "I wonder if Persephone likes Quidditch. And which team do you suppose she likes best?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "_I _don't know…Why don't you owl her and ask?" he suggested as he pushed through the portal to Severus' parlor.

"Good idea!" he heard before the tapestry closed.

Severus was staring into the fire. Draco sighed in relief when he noticed the man wasn't holding a drink. Dinner had been a bit tense despite the teens' attempts to engage the adults in conversation. Emmaline had been willing to talk with them, but Severus was reticent; in addition, the two adults never spoke to each other. Draco wondered what had happened to put him so on edge. He leaned back on the couch and stared into the fire, too. If Andrew kept up his side of the conversation only by talking about Persephone, if his finished potion and mostly written thesis were all he had to work on, and if Emmaline stayed in her room the whole time, Draco thought he might rather be back at the Manor. Well, almost. Sighing, he decided to go knock on her door. Even if she weren't awake, she'd make the best company he could find around here.

"Come in!" she called, to his relief. "Draco!" She was curled up on the bed, papers spread around her. She looked a bit surprised, yet pleased to see him. "Clear off a space and have a seat."

He moved some papers at the end of the bed to the top of the dresser and sat down rather primly. She sighed almost exasperatedly and moved a pile of papers aside, patting the now clear space beside her. A faint blush stained his cheeks, but he moved next to her, his feet dangling off the side.

"What's up?" she asked, turning her attention to him. When she noticed he was a bit embarrassed by it, she looked back at her papers.

Draco studied his hands. He then glanced up and studied her face for a moment. She must be about his godfather's age, yet she didn't look it. Of course, Severus looked much older than he actually was. She wasn't very pretty, yet she was nice to look at. Deep down, he might admit that it was her personality that made her attractive, but Draco had always put a lot of stock in appearances and found it difficult to admit even to himself that he might could think differently. He finally told her his dilemma. "Andrew and Severus aren't very good company."

She glanced at him but kept perusing her papers. "Oh?"

Draco sighed. "Andrew only wants to talk about my cousin, Persephone. If you ask me, I don't know what he could _possibly_ see in her."

"You don't?" she asked absently.

He shook his head. "No. I could understand why he'd be interested in Ginny Weasley. She's pretty – even if she is a Weasley."

"Something wrong with being a Weasley?" she asked, a tad amused.

Draco's lips curled into a sneer. "They're…" he paused, searching for the right words, "blood traitors. Muggle lovers. Poor as mice, too." He looked up to find her staring at him.

"You might want to think about that a little more." There was a strong warning in her voice, his estimation of the Weasleys could just as easily have fit her. She frowned as she watched his countenance grow thunderous. "It is easy to judge people by how they look, how much money they seem to have, and with whom they associate. It's easy, but it's not entirely right. The Weasleys may be all those things you make them out to be, but from a different perspective…"

"Like _Potter's,"_ he spat, screwing up his face in distaste.

Emmaline smirked slightly, studying him as he glared into the distance. "Tell me, Draco, these people you don't like, do they make assumptions about Malfoys, too?"

"Yes!" he said emphatically.

"And those assumptions…about you…are they wrong?"

"Yes!" he adamantly repeated.

"Well, I imagine it works both ways." She gave him a pointed look.

He scowled.

Emmaline laughed. "Oh, it's not pleasant learning you might be wrong. Nobody _likes_ to be proven wrong. However," she grasped his wrist and held his gaze, "you'll feel so much better once you're right again."

Draco lowered his eyes to her hand. He sighed and made a dismissive gesture so that she let go. "I just wish," he pouted, pulling at a thread he had found in the duvet, "we could finish Andrew's potion. _Then_ maybe he'd talk about something other than Persephone." Draco snorted. "Then again, maybe not."

"Why can't you guys finish the potion?" Emmaline asked, allowing him to change the subject.

"We're missing an ingredient."

"What is it?"

"Re'em blood."

Emmaline stared at him in shock. "What do you need that for?"

"I don't know," Draco said, obviously irritated about being left out. "Andrew never told me."

* * *

A knock sounded on his bedroom door. _Probably Draco_. Severus was in no mood to listen to his whining. The evening had been intolerable. He had actually felt awkward around Emmaline. It was becoming increasingly difficult for him to push aside his feelings. He had to speak to Albus and make sure the spell was still in place.

Opening the door, he found the object of his thoughts standing upon the threshold. She looked back at the closed tapestry before requesting entrance. He nodded and stepped aside.

"I wanted to talk to you without the boys knowing I was talking to you."

Earlier, he had sat in the parlor while Emmaline had used his bathroom to freshen up. He refused to even enter his room when she was there. There must be no temptation and, anyway, the boys, who were arguing over Draco's cousin and plying him for his opinion, would have been suspicious if both adults were sequestered behind his bedroom door. Andrew's curiosity was legendary, according to Emmaline at least, and he thought he caught the boy giving the adults knowing looks throughout the whole meal.

Now he was dumbfounded by her statement, though he shouldn't have been. She elaborated, gesturing helplessly, "It's just that I didn't want to get their hopes up."

His eyebrows rose higher. She sped up her explanation, embarrassment coloring her cheeks, "Draco said Andrew needed a potion ingredient. What I want to know is – why? What potion is he trying to make?"

Severus' look of surprise turned to a deep frown. How had so many people come to know – even vaguely – about Andrew's potion? It was entirely unacceptable – both for a Slytherin and for someone who was a spy. He snapped his mouth shut and frowned. He might as well tell her. He stood to lose more if he didn't. "The potion is called _Laxo Excrucio_. It was taken from a very old text. Apparently, Re'em blood was a more common ingredient then."

Emmaline paced the room, lost in thought until he stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"What is it?" he asked quietly.

"I…know a couple who decided to take up ranching as their retirement venture." She paused and looked up at him. "They raise Re'ems."

_Wouldn't you know it? She would have to have the answer to all of our problems…_

"I can go there and back in a day and a half," she was saying. "Would that give you enough time to brew the potion – if I am able to bring any Re'em blood back?"

"The potion does not require excessive skill or time to brew, only exotic ingredients."

She nodded absently, lost in thought. "A secure, international Floo would work. Or I can find a phone."

"I am sure Albus would let you use his Floo."

"Good. I need Kenneth, my work partner, to contact the Abernathys to let them know I'm coming."

"It is the holiday season… Are you sure they will be home and open to visitors?" Worry over the short amount of time they had left – only five days – began to creep over him.

"They're old friends from back when Andrew was little," she replied, smiling softly at the fond memories that surfaced with the thought. "I don't think they'd mind."

Severus studied her for a moment, knowing she might not agree to his next idea, but hoping it would go over with little fuss. "A member of the Order should go with you," he remarked, noticing her surprise and interest. "There are several reasons – you may need some protection," he raised a hand to stall her protests, "and someone should be there to represent our cause."

Emmaline appeared to think for a moment before raising her eyes to his. "The American people _should_ know the truth about what's going on in this country. Unfortunately, they don't trust the British Wizarding media." She shook her head, whether over the state of the British press or the nearsightedness of the American public, he didn't know. "A first-hand account would be invaluable, and perhaps…we can spread the word via good old gossip," she smirked.

He inclined his head, thinking that her plan had some merit. She definitely was a Slytherin, albeit more altruistic than any Slytherin he had ever known. "I will set up a meeting with Albus for the morning…" he trailed off when she frowned and shook her head.

"You're doing it again…forgetting about the time change," she amended noticing his confusion. "Better make it afternoon. Kenneth is five hours behind and New Mexico is seven."

He nodded and fought the urge to return the huge smile that had spread over her face.

"Good night, Severus," she said sincerely. "And thank you."

He watched as she left and shut his bedroom door behind her. In some ways it was so easy to be around her; it was just like old times. Old times before they were seriously dating. Severus frowned as he turned and scanned his suddenly empty bedroom. Shaking his head vigorously, he chastised himself for becoming so sentimental. Finally, he stomped into the bathroom to get ready for bed.


	27. Traveling Thoughts

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ As this site has forbidden review responses in author notes, I will take this opportunity to thank all who have reviewed thus far. In the future, if you'd like a review response, please leave a signed review so that I may contact you. Alternately, you can always send me an e-mail. That said, here's something for the Thanksgiving holiday. Have a safe one!

_Chapter 26_

_Traveling Thoughts_

Severus straightened up from the Floo as the Headmaster entered, followed closely by Emmaline.

"Severus, we are so fortunate to have Ms. Logan and her son with us."

_Indeed, we are_, he thought, but outwardly only inclined his head.

"May I use your Floo, Headmaster?" she asked.

'Of course," he smiled beneficently. "And please call me Albus."

"I will when you call me Emmaline," she teased.

The old man's eyes twinkled, and Severus did not try to suppress a small smirk.

She threw a handful of Floo powder into the flames, turning them emerald green. Sticking her head in, she called, "539 Forest Cove Dr, Laurel, Virginia, USA." Presently, she began talking to whomever was on the other end. 'Yes, Christmas was nice… No, Andrew had the most fun at the party… Well, yes, _of course_ we missed your cooking… Look, I need you to set some things up for me…"

Severus turned to speak quietly to the Headmaster while Emmaline conducted her Floo call. When she broke the connection and dusted herself off, the two men waited for her news.

Things must have gone well because she smiled. "Good news. Kenneth is excited to help us out, especially because it's for Andrew."

"Wonderful! Now, Severus has told me of his idea to have an Order member along…"

"Yes, I'm getting a Portkey for two once we get to Richmond."

"You aren't taking Andrew?" Severus asked, slightly surprised.

She grimaced. "I don't want to disappoint him. Chances are that we'll come back empty handed…"

"I think the Order member I'm sending with you will ensure that we at least get enough for one batch." Dumbledore turned to the dark-haired man at his side. 'Severus is familiar with the potion, as well as the extent of the problem here at home. I feel he can best convey our situation to our American cousins." She nodded, staring at the dark man in question. Dumbledore hobbled behind his desk and sat down in his comfortable chair.

"If we're both going to be out of the country," Emmaline addressed Severus, "we need someone to look after the boys."

"They can most definitely take care of themselves. Draco is Head Boy…"

"But is staying with _us_ over the holidays," she finished for him. "He fears his father for a good reason."

"Andrew does not, even though I suspect you've said little to him about it," he retorted.

"No, I haven't said as much as I could. He seems to have gotten most of his information on Lucius from other sources."

They shared a look before Severus frowned. "Their description is probably worse than yours."

"I doubt it," Emmaline countered, her voice hard.

Professor Dumbledore interrupted the tense silence. "I will look in on the boys while the two of you are away. I agree with Severus – that minimal supervision is necessary – however," he headed off an argument from the mother in the room, "wards around their rooms will be set to admit only ourselves and the boys." The old man smiled happily, glad that Draco Malfoy was being given a second chance. He had done so for his Defense professor, and now Severus was passing on that kindness, albeit in his own way and with a little help.

"Thank you, Headmaster," she said, feeling better about the decision to leave them here.

* * *

"What shall we tell them?" asked Severus as they walked towards his quarters.

"That I need to go by the office to take care of a few things. You're coming with me to determine if there are any products that may help when the boys go to that meeting New Year's Eve."

"What makes you think they're going?" he asked, surprised at her acceptance of their decision.

She looked at him from the corner of her eye. "Do you really think they can _not_ show up and not have to go into hiding?"

"No, but…"

"Then they're going. I'd rather have them safe out and about in England than only safe in a hole somewhere."

He gave a long-suffering sigh. Sometimes he didn't understand her. Another thought struck him. "What products?"

She smirked. "Kenneth and I research products that benefit from both magical innovation and Muggle technology."

"I don't think anything Muggle can be helpful…"

"Severus," she chided, "Muggles are really inventive and resourceful…"

"That's not what I meant!" he exclaimed, irritated by her interruption. He lowered his voice and leaned in to hiss in her ear. "The Dark Lord abhors all things Muggle."

She chuckled derisively. "I doubt he'd recognize anything hybrid that we brought. Anyway, I was going to show you some of our more covert devices. I don't expect anyone would be allowed to show up to one of these things with full anti-spell gear on."

"Anti-spell gear?" he asked interestedly.

"Yes," she said, perking up, "they stop a lot of spells – mostly those aimed at the torso."

"And you make these?"

She laughed more light-heartedly. "Oh, no. I'm not that talented. I'm just the idea person."

Severus shook his head. "I had no idea that was what you did."

She smiled softly. "It's fun, and I get to help people – magical and Muggle alike."

"Now that sounds like it's your cup of tea."

They laughed comfortably at his statement of the obvious, and Severus found that, despite his uneasiness around her lately due to his inability to keep his emotions toward her under control, it was getting easier. Now that they would have some time alone together, he hoped she would be able to relax around him, at least enough so they could have a serious talk. He hated being just friends when he wanted so much more.

* * *

"I can't believe they left us," Draco groused.

Andrew shook his head at his best friend's wounded look. On some level, Draco was only acting, and on another, he _was_ hurt at being left behind. "Think of it this way – they'll be spending time together – _alone_ together. What more could you ask for?"

"_Ew._ Logan, that is _not_ a picture I want in my head. Plus, why would you think they'd work as a couple? Come on, Severus has never bothered with women as long as I've known him…"

"But you haven't seen them together," Andrew protested.

"Look, just because they went to the Yule party together doesn't mean they have the hots for each other." Draco paused, but before Andrew could tell him what he saw happen on the night in question, he continued. "Of course," he mused, "they did flirt a lot when we went into Muggle London."

Andrew smirked. "Yeah. That and he kissed her the night of the Yule party."

Draco's eyes went wide. "He did? When? Where!"

"Um, yeah," Andrew stalled, not wanting to share his mom's and his professor's secrets, but wanting Draco to share his hope and enthusiasm about the potential couple. "We had just gotten back and, um," he thought about how to change their story to fit Hogwarts and not 12 Grimmauld Place, "I was staying in the extra room with Mom, so I went in to change out of my dress robes. The door wasn't closed all the way, and I…got kinda curious about why it was so quiet. I peeped through the crack and saw them standing really close, just talking." He shrugged, "Then he kissed her."

Draco leaned forward eagerly. Andrew briefly thought he'd never seen his friend so outwardly eager for gossip. "And?" the blond boy prompted.

Andrew shrugged again. "That's it."

The other boy narrowed his eyes. "He kissed her…and they both turned and walked away, not saying a_ word_ to each other?"

To his credit, Andrew blushed embarrassedly, making it about the third time Draco had ever seen him do so. "I don't think… It's between them. I shouldn't have overheard it," he said quietly.

His friend snorted in contempt at his noble intentions. "Let me guess," he drawled, "Emmaline pledged her undying love, but Severus decided – no, thank you – he'd rather stay a bachelor." Draco's smirk fell when he noticed Andrew avoiding his eyes. "Oh, Merlin, don't tell me that's what happened." _That stupid,_ stupid _git! _How could his godfather pass up such a…_lovely_ opportunity!

"Actually," Andrew said, clearing his throat, "it was the other way around."

It took Draco a full half-minute to work the scenario out in his head, but when he had got it, he exclaimed, "Bugger! What did she do that for!"

Andrew, eyebrows raised in surprised agreement, replied, "Now you see why I'm happy they're going off together. Hopefully, Mom won't screw things up too much."

"I wish you'd told me all this before," Draco said, instead of responding to Andrew's comment. "I could have…"

"What?" Andrew asked, amused as his usually loquacious friend searched for words.

"I don't know. A potion? No. A charm? No, no. Ah! The weapon of all Slytherins! Implantation of seeds of doubt!" Both boys laughed together. Both sent up silent prayers that the couple they'd been discussing would get their acts together and fall in love already!

* * *

The Portkey took them to the middle of a group of warehouses. Emmaline turned the corner and headed toward a small building attached to one of the warehouses. She jogged up the stairs, Severus following her inside. When his eyes adjusted to interior light, he noticed a tall, muscular black man behind one of the two desks that occupied the room. Emmaline ran up to the handsome man and drew him into a hug.

"There you are!" he exclaimed, hugging Emmaline back wholeheartedly.

Severus held back, feeling like an intruder and standing close to the door while the two conversed.

"Were you able to set everything up?" Emmaline asked anxiously when she stepped out of the hug.

"Yes," he replied. "Got you a rental car in Albuquerque, too."

"Good." She turned to motion for Severus to come closer. "Kenneth, this is Severus Snape, professor of Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts." Kenneth held out his hand to the pale professor. The two men firmly shook hands as she continued her introduction. "Severus, this is my work partner, Kenneth Clay."

"Nice to meet you," Kenneth said, letting go as the other man nodded. "Here's the information for the rental and directions to the Abernathy's."

"They're okay with me coming?"

"They're looking forward to it," he confirmed, smiling back gently when she grinned at the news. "I hope you can get that Re'em blood. I know how important Andrew's research is to him…"

"I am confident that we will be able to procure enough to continue his research," Severus informed him.

Kenneth nodded. "Well, you guys should probably get going. You've got a four hour drive ahead of you once you get to Albuquerque." He handed Emmaline some more papers and their Portkey – a large, yellow plastic ring, like a Frisbee with the hole cut out of if.

"Oh!" Emmaline exclaimed, just remembering. "Could you get together some of the more covert protection devices? It's for the boys," she added.

He grinned good-naturedly. "That'd be Andrew and his new best friend?"

She nodded.

"I'll see what I can find." Kenneth put an arm around her as they walked back out to the Portkey point. "When you get back tomorrow, come over for dinner."

"I will," she promised.

He nodded, saying, "Have a good trip."

Severus watched the man's retreating form as Emmaline stowed papers in her bag. The two of them could not be more different. He was pale while Kenneth was dark. He was taciturn while the other man was warm and expressive. When she held out the domestic Portkey, he tried to focus on traveling, but his thoughts and perception were whirling as the Portkey activated.


	28. The Re'em Ranch

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Please note that I have now read through Book 6. Obviously, this story is completely AU, but I hope you're enjoying it anyway. Thanks to all who reviewed. If you'd like a response, please sign-in before reviewing. Thanks to my beta, **cecelle**.

_Chapter 27_

_The Re'em Ranch_

"Buckle up."

Severus wished, not for the first time, that Apparition to their destination were possible; however, Re'em herds were protected nearly as well as Hogwarts. Apparition was not possible within a large radius of the Abernathys' house. He sighed as he pulled the seatbelt across his chest. As the buckle clicked, he remembered why he wasn't looking forward to this. He'd almost rather be subjected to the _Cruciatus_ curse. It didn't help that the last time he'd been in an automobile, Lupin had been driving. The mild-mannered man had been practically run over by the traffic on the M-60.

As they exited the airport, Severus could tell that the Albuquerque interstate would prove just as formidable. Emmaline seemed to be up to the task, however, weaving in and out of traffic. They finally made it out of town, heading south towards the border. They were both able to relax, and he ventured to ask, "That was your office?"

She laughed. 'Yes. Not much, I know, but I don't need anything fancy."

Severus smirked. "Of course not." After a pause, he asked curiously, "What exactly are all the cupboards for?" The office walls were covered with cabinets, drawers, and cubby holes, the center of the room taken up by two desks.

"Oh, they hold a lot of 'failed' experiments. Just in case we decide they or the parts can be useful. You never know what the client may find useful or have a need for."

"I really expected something more modern and less…"

"Military cast-off?" She smirked, "It used to belong to a Muggle defense contractor. So when my boss bought it, we only needed to add charms and wards." After a comfortable silence, she admitted, "I've gotten familiar with your life, and now you'll be able to learn about mine here in the States."

"Yes. I am looking forward to it, too," he admitted.

She smiled at him, then turned her attention back to the road. Severus kept his attention on her, however. He couldn't help but note how small her hands looked on the steering wheel, how soft and moist her lips were, how much he'd love to get his hands within the warmth of her coat and around her waist, how long her legs… He blinked. _Damn._ _Shouldn't let my imagination run away…_ He grimaced.

Somehow she noticed and put her hand on his arm. "I know. It's a rough road. We still have three hours to go."

_Great. Three hours to go. It wouldn't be so bad if I could keep my mind off her._ He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Why don't we stop for a bit? I could use something to drink."

At the gas station, he got out to walk around a bit, glad for the cold. The wind bit at his face, whipping his hair around and freezing his ears as well.

Back in the car, he asked her to turn down the heat. As if that was really his problem. He was smitten…and desperate. He'd admit that. Months of memories had left him a sentimental, horny mess. _Ugh._ And he had yet to consult Albus to make sure his memories were still wrapped up tightly. As if it mattered now. He suspected that the spell was still in place, since he hadn't had any troublesome memories pop up to interfere with his life; however, the emotions he experienced around his captivating former lover were unimpeded and often painful since he did not feel he could act upon them. _That_ was another problem unto itself. If Emmaline wouldn't stop pushing him away… He had to find out why she was reluctant. Was there someone else in her life already? The amused way Andrew acted when Severus would pull her chair out for her at meals or offer his arm to her on walks around the lake made him think that wasn't the case. However, one never did know…

He stole a glance at her. She was paying attention to the road; he hated to interrupt her, but he couldn't be left alone with his thoughts. They'd be stopping every five minutes at that rate.

"Tell me about Kenneth." He was genuinely curious. They worked together and appeared to be close. He had seemed concerned about Andrew's happiness, too. A small – very small – part of him feared that perhaps they were not just coworkers.

"Let's see… We've been partners for a little over ten years. I'm more of the 'up front' person – figuring out what our clients need, getting materials together, talking to our technical assembly team – whereas Kenneth is the 'follow-up' person. He gets out in the field with the product, walks the client through its use, and works out the kinks."

Severus shook his head. "I still can't believe that such an operation exists."

She laughed. "And I can't believe you're a professor."

He raised an eyebrow defiantly. "You can't picture me teaching?"

Frowning, she amended, "No, you've always been knowledgeable. I just can't picture you being an _effective_ teacher."

"I've taught at Hogwarts for nearly eighteen years…"

"I'm sure they've been happy to have you, but I find it hard to imagine you answering students' questions patiently."

"I manage."

"Severus," she laughed, "both Andrew and Draco have filled me in on your teaching style." She shook her head. "You really should only be teaching advanced classes."

"Unfortunately, we don't have that luxury," he gritted, a bit hurt at her light-hearted treatment of the subject.

"With your experience," she shook her head as if it was a great shame, "you shouldn't have to teach first and second-years."

He smirked, feeling appeased. "I completely agree. However, it is good experience for them. They shouldn't be babied all the time. Real life isn't as forgiving."

"That's very true," she somberly agreed.

He chanced a glance at her, noticing her sad expression. He suddenly realized that he knew so little about her life after she left him. His thoughts turned to Andrew – the son she had raised. The boy had captured his interest right away; he had been keen to follow Andrew's career beyond Hogwarts even before he figured out that he and Emmaline were related. What was it about Andrew that he admired? The way he had handled the _Laxo Excrucio_ potion spoke volumes. Andrew's concern was not for personal glory - Severus doubted he had even thought of it - but for the well-being of his fellow wizard. That streak of humanitarianism came straight from his mother. However, she was much more direct in her speaking than Andrew. The teenage boy reminded him a lot of Albus Dumbledore. The old man was infuriating at times, because one never knew what he was _really_ thinking. Andrew possessed a certain restraint that belied his thought process. One minute you were certain that the sanguine young man was on your side, the next he was assuredly and convincingly presenting a different point of view which he had been harboring the whole time. Severus shook his head slightly. It certainly was amusing to watch the young man in action. His eyes clouded over at the thought of such talent and enthusiasm going to waste in an organization such as the Dark Lord's. He wished that he could share his experiences with both Andrew and Draco, so that they could make their own choices based on truth – however relative. It was not, however, a role that he could bring himself to fulfill. He may have been Draco's godfather, but the boy's father was insisting on the initiation. As for Andrew…he was nothing to Andrew. It was Emmaline's call.

He looked morosely out the passenger window at the desert. The wan mid-day sun's feeble light barely illuminated the desert pavement. Severus had been lost in his thoughts for most of the journey, but was jolted out of them when they reached a bumpy dirt road. He clutched the seat, his jaw clenched, as he vibrated along with the vehicle down the empty road. They finally pulled up in front of a farmhouse with a large wrap-around porch. The front door was flung open, and a woman with dark chestnut hair, streaked with gray, ambled over to them, wiping her hands on the apron tied about her waist. "You're here!" she exclaimed as Emmaline jumped down from the jeep. "Give me a hug!" she demanded, flinging her arms wide. Emmaline chuckled and gave the older woman a huge bear hug.

Severus emerged from the other side of the car, noting that he could have mistaken this woman for Molly Weasley, had it not been for the hair color and harsh southern accent.

"Goodness, child! You've gotten so thin!"

Emmaline laughed. "Annie, you're too kind!"

"Y'all come right on in where it's warm, why don't ya? I'm settin' about cookin' supper. I'll have to get Joe to show you 'round the place while I finish up."

"How've you been, Annie?"

"Oh, up and down," she answered, ushering them inside. "Coffee?"

Emmaline shook her head. "Neither of us are coffee drinkers, Annie. Hot tea would be nice, though."

Annie paused as if seeing the pale, black-haired man for the first time. "O'course, you Englishmen all take your tea hot, don't cha?"

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, inclining his head.

Annie set about putting the kettle on, and shortly, the kitchen door opened to admit a grey-haired, short, and slightly stooped man.

"Joe…" Emmaline greeted him warmly.

"Well, well, well…there you are, girly," he smiled, accepting a firm hug. "This 'ere must be one of them Order members you've got with you," he said, pronouncing Order with a short "a" sound as in "harder."

"Yes," Emmaline drew Severus to her side. "This is Severus Snape. He's a professor at Hogwarts."

"Oh! Hogwarts, eh? Heard good things about that school…didn't we, Annie?" Joe looked over at his wife who was setting two mugs on the table.

"Yes, yes! And Andrew's going there now, isn't he? I swear we knew that boy would go far…didn't we, Joe?"

"That's right."

"I'm just making 'em some tea before you show them 'round the place. Sit a spell, an' I'll get you a cup of coffee."

They all sat at the kitchen table, Joe making appreciative noises upon being able to get off his feet.

"Tell me, Joe," Emmaline began, setting down her cup of tea, "how is the Re'em raising business, really? Kenneth and I have heard things…but, you know what they say, best to get it from the horse's mouth."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…well, I'll tell you. It's not going so well. Drought's been bad this year. We ain't got any rain in…well, I'd say nine months or about."

"Is that usual for this part of the world?" inquired Severus.

"Well, in '92, we had a hell of a dry summer. But," he sighed and blew his nose with a handkerchief pulled from one of his pockets, "we got rain that winter. We went six months without a drop and then made it up with three inches in one day. That was in January. We ain't had rain since March and it's almos' March again!"

"How about your well?" Emmaline quietly asked.

Annie, who had been quiet throughout her husband's rant, shook her head. "It's about gone dry. The engineers that's been out to the house to look at it say the next groundwater's down about three hundred more feet. They could dig the one we got down farther, but it wouldn't do no good. We don't have the power to get the water up from that deep."

"What method do you use now?" Severus asked, his curiousity piqued by the foreign problem.

"Windmill," said Joe. "Down near the south border of our property."

"Could you add another windmill?"

The elderly couple looked at each other. Joe shook his head. "Just not feasible right now, I'm afraid."

Emmaline nodded slowly, understanding that it was more an issue of money than ability.

"Why don't you show these young'uns the place while I finish up in here," Annie nudged her husband. Joe stood, somewhat reluctantly, and motioned them outside.

* * *

Severus stood thoughtfully assessing the barn in which he was standing. It reeked, it was filthy, and it had seen better days fifty years ago. He allowed Joe's voice to drift past him; too much time spent listening to that man's speech was not good for his headache. Emmaline, however, seemed to be genuinely concerned over the old man's difficulty with his business. If _he_ had been the one asking relevant questions and exclaiming consolingly when appropriate, he would, of course, be trying to ingratiate himself to the owner of the Re'em herd. Severus was pretty sure that she, however, was genuinely sincere – at least for the most part.

"This 'ere's the birthin' pen. We only keep 'em in here when they cain't stand innymore."

"How many births are you averaging per year?"

"Three or four… They don't all survive the droughts, though."

Emmaline nodded solemnly. "Everything needs water to survive."

"Yep." Joe shook his head sadly. "Seems like all us ranchers – magic and Muggle alike – been having a hard time lately. Well…the past five years or so…been pretty bad."

"C'mon, Joe. Let's hop in the jeep and go take a look at the herd."

The old man's face lit up. "Sounds good, but we'll need a silencin' spell on the thing to keep from spookin' 'em."

"I don't think that will be a problem," Severus said boredly. He saw nothing pretty about this arid, desolate land. He'd take the neat, green fields of England or the rugged, evergreen slopes of Scotland any day.

They crested the top of a small butte after zigzagging their way up. Severus thought it was worse than taking a Portkey. At least magic was able to defy gravity and G-forces.

"Thar it is," Joe whispered, still afraid of disturbing the herd accidentally.

Severus peeked out of the window to observe a small herd of large beasts. They almost blended into the landscape; he could see why it was advantageous for the magical community to raise the creatures out here. Their dark golden coats were perfect camouflage in this geological setting. The herd appeared to be settling in for the night, gathered around a withered, stunted tree.

Emmaline sighed, and Severus turned his attention to her. "It's so peaceful," she murmured. Severus agreed, but still wished he wasn't in the back of a Muggle contraption in the cold and in the middle of nowhere. If he had his druthers, he'd be back at Hogwarts, feet propped up in front of the fire with a good book and perhaps a small snifter of brandy.

"It's getting late," Severus noted as the sun slipped low enough to barely be seen over the horizon. "Perhaps we should head back."

Emmaline nodded, and they bumped back down the faint trail.

* * *

Supper that night was subdued. The adults mainly talked about Andrew with occasional questions about Emmaline's business cropping up.

"Emmaline told me," Severus spoke into a lengthening silence, glancing once at the honey-haired vixen, "you've been friends with her family for quite some time."

"Tha's right," Joe nodded, stirring gravy into his second helping of mashed potatoes. "Knew 'er since before we came out here."

"Joe worked for one of our suppliers back in the early days of my job."

"She was jus' learnin' the ropes, so to speak…caught on real quick," he winked.

"Brought Andrew 'round a lot, too," remarked Annie. "I think she wanted to get him out of the city for a bit." The two women smiled at each other over the hearty feast laid out on the table.

"That's true," Emmaline replied, wiping her mouth with the corner of her napkin. "I grew up in the country and used to ramble around – looking for trouble, my mother always said." Pain flashed across her face before she continued, "Joe and Annie ran a farm for their employer – out in the backwoods of the Carolinas – and it supplied a whole lot of people with magical animals."

"Course, we had some non-magical animals, too. People seemed to think opossum teeth were a good aphrodisiac – didn't matter how many times you'd tell 'em even the Muggles didn't think they had any use." Polite laughter followed his joke. "But," he sighed dramatically, "we still made money off of it, and that's what counted, I guess." Joe shrugged, conveying that it wasn't exactly his priority.

Emmaline helped Annie clean up, and Joe made his excuses to turn in for the night. "Sorry not to be a better host, but I gotta get up with the sun…and go to bed with it, too." He winked at Severus and disappeared down a narrow hall towards the northern end of the house.


	29. A Problem

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Thanks to all who reviewed. If you'd like a response, please sign-in before reviewing or send me an e-mail. Sorry for the loooong wait; it's a combination of a bit of procrastination and a lot of real-life work! Thanks to my beta, **cecelle**, without whom, this story would never progress and definitely not as well as it has done so far.

_Chapter 28_

_A Problem_

Severus sat on his bed after being shown to his bedroom. It was just down the hall from Emmaline. He couldn't decide if it was too close or not close enough to her room. He sighed and got up to gaze out the window at the backyard. A clothes line with a few stray items hung stiffly in the cold, with a row of pecan trees standing sentry over it.

It was difficult to think.

It was easy to feel.

He would rather be able to think than feel. How had this happened? Stupid question. He knew the answer. It was that woman…that _wonderful_ woman. Merlin, if he'd ever let her out of his sight again…He shook his head. No, it would never work out between them…

How he longed to hold her again. To wake up beside her in the middle of the night. To pretend…no, to _be_ a parent with her, instructing _their_ son in the art of life.

Bah! He was daydreaming again. Surely Albus' spell was holding. He'd had visions of the past previously. Now he was only daydreaming about the possible, but oh so improbable, future. He laughed bitterly. It wasn't supposed to be until old age that you became daft and feeble-minded. Perhaps inbreeding did that to a person. He wasn't forty yet, but was already losing his mind. Because of her…

* * *

Emmaline was nervous. As soon as they got back to Richmond, they would be having dinner with the Clays, and she wasn't really sure how that would go. She wondered what they would think of her – bringing her school sweetheart to dinner when they knew she was a confirmed bachelorette. Admittedly, she liked Severus still, but she wasn't pining after the man. Hadn't in years. But she couldn't stop thinking about him, either. Just as in her younger days, she found him fascinating. To watch or listen to him was like trying to fit the pieces of a monochromatic puzzle together. She'd always love the mystery that was Severus Snape. She would admit that.

She sighed and rolled over in bed again. If it was the time difference or her thoughts that were keeping her up, it didn't matter. What _did_ matter was that she wasn't going to remedy her sleeplessness lying there. Sliding on slippers, she reluctantly left the warmth of the bed. She grabbed a quilt as she left the room and made her way down the stairs.

Noticing a figure on the porch, she grinned when she saw the smoke. Joe was outside with his pipe.

The screen door creaked as she opened it, and Joe looked over to her from his seat on the railing of the porch. "Couldn't sleep?" he asked. She nodded and stepped up to stand next to him, both of them looking out into the dark night.

"Joe," she said, her voice quiet, yet startling in the silence. Her hand on his arm made him turn to look at her. "Andrew doesn't know we're here." He stared back at her, pipe clamped between his teeth and eyes searching. She looked away from him, down to her feet and out towards the road. Clutching the quilt more tightly about her, she explained, "So it wouldn't matter if we didn't go back with any Re'em blood. Only three people know exactly why it's needed; everyone else will never know." She turned back to find him staring out at the star-filled night. "Joe, if it's not something you can spare, don't."

He finally looked at her and saw concern and practicality in her features. He knew the look well; it was a look his Annie would get when talk came up about their strapped finances. Nodding, he looked back out at the shadowy buttes, barely visible in the inky night. "I understand." He took her hand and squeezed it briefly.

She smiled down at him before returning inside.

When he heard her footsteps on the stair, Joe spoke into the night air. "Well, she's gone. You can come out now." A tall, dark shape emerged from the porch's shadows. Severus leaned on the railing next to Joe, looking into the house instead. "What're ya going to use the blood for?" Joe eyed the man sitting on his left.

Severus answered, his voice barely making a dent in the silence. "Anti-C_ruciatus_ curse potion."

Joe felt he was prepared for anything, but still his eyebrows rose up to what would have been his hairline if he had had much hair. "Well, now…that is somethin'."

"Yes. Mr. Abernathy…it is true that only a handful of people will know about the possibility. Andrew has kept it very secret thus far. He is an intelligent young man and realizes the implications that such a find would have on the wizarding world." Joe inclined his head slightly. "There is one thing…"

"Go on," Joe said after a while.

"Payment," Severus said frankly. "It is possible that you will receive some compensation. I have made inquiries but will not know for sure…"

"Ah, hell, boy…I don't care 'bout payment. It's enough that Andrew needs it and Emmaline wants it for 'im. Even if it wasn't anythin' like an anti-…well, if I had it to give, I'd give 'em the moon. Houdini knows that girl deserves something good in her life."

Severus' curiosity rose as the man spoke. "What do you mean?"

"Eh? Well, you should ask her. She'd have to be the one to tell it."

"I don't…," Severus looked away, but quickly drew his gaze from the emptiness of the dark land. He could not say why he felt able to open up even a little to this stranger, in the middle of nowhere on a cold, dark night. There was something to say for an unbiased opinion; surely Joe had never heard about his past. There was also something comforting in Joe's seclusion from the wizarding world. It was almost like a Catholic confessional. "She will not talk to me."

"Well…," Joe sighed. "You know," he began, his tone changing from sad to happy, "I remember when Annie and my kids were young. We had a time of it and only with two of 'em. Mike's off in New York now, doing somethin' in the financial world. I don't understand it. Jamie never made it past 'is twelfth birthday, poor lad, and lil' Joe…" he sighed, his gaze not on the landscape but lost far away. "Lil' Joe was stillborn. But, I never regretted any time I spent with any of 'em, even when they was still inside their momma." He chuckled a bit. "Used to take Mike and Jamie fishin' when they were little. Lotsa rivers runnin' through the Carolinas. Not so many 'round here though," he shook his head regretfully. "You said you thought Andrew was intelligent…and perceptive. That all you think of 'im?" Joe turned to look Severus in the eye.

Severus suppressed a shudder and returned the steady gaze. "No. It is not." He made a noise of frustration in the back of his throat, then turned to pace down to the end of the porch. "He's a lot like his mother. Kind, without a thought of compensation. Inexplicably positive…damned annoying," he mumbled. Joe chuckled behind him. He turned and walked back to the balding man. "He will be a great man one day. Maybe not one that ends up in the history books, but to those who know him…he will be great." Severus sighed, thoughts of self-loathing surrounding him.

"Ain't no catfish in these waters either. That's what we always caught up in Carolina. Mike never liked 'em much, even to eat 'em, but Jamie thought they were like the finest caviar – that is when Annie'd fry 'em up and serve 'em with fried potatoes." Joe saw that the other man had yet to burst out of his thoughts. "Andrew reminds me a lot of Jamie. Appreciates the simple things in life, maybe more than the big ones. He also has a great deal of respect for his momma. He'd never ask, but he's burnin' up not knowing…"

"His father."

"Yep," said Joe.

"I cannot replace his real father."

"Neither could I. Emmaline knows that, too, I think. She never thought anybody was good enough for Andrew, but she trusts you with him." He gave the dark man a knowing look. "That says a lot, I can tell you. Annie tol' me she was a bit surprised."

The corner of Severus' mouth twitched up. "Hmm," he murmured.

"Yep, but you see, Andrew's also like Jamie in that he's got a big heart. Big enough to love his momma, her friends, his daddy – whoever that may be – and anyone else he has a mind to."

Severus looked up at Joe. "I know. His mother is the same way."

Joe smiled at him. "You should go talk to her," he said, nodding towards the door. "I don't think she's asleep yet." Severus paused as if to reply, but instead went inside. Joe heard the stairs creaking and tried on a smirk – as he had seen the Englishman doing – to see how it fit. _Not too bad_, he thought, proud of himself.

* * *

"Emmaline?" Severus' voice floated through the door.

"Come in," she said, loud enough for him to hear her. "I can't sleep," she admitted as he came through the door and shut it behind him. In the dim light of her room, she saw him nod. She patted the bed as she sat up, propping pillows against the headboard. He took the seat more eagerly than she thought he would and grasped one of her hands in his. "Your hands are cold."

"Emmaline…I need to know…why…" He looked up into her face searchingly. "You left." It was almost an accusation, but ended up mainly a declaration of fact.

She closed her eyes, heaving a huge sigh. This was the talk she'd been dreading. "I _told_ you why I was leaving…"

"That can't have been your real reason…!" He looked at her incredulously.

"It was," she gritted. "But maybe you can tell me why you didn't come after me." She crossed her arms across her chest defensively.

"I…You left!" he nearly shouted.

"And I asked you to follow me!" she hissed.

"You knew I couldn't." His voice had a hard edge to it.

"You had a choice…"

"I explained to you that I didn't…"

"And I explained to you that you did!"

"This is ridiculous!" Severus jumped up and paced to the door. He stopped with his hand out to the door knob. Sighing, he turned around. "You were right," he said quietly.

"What?" she asked disbelievingly.

Returning to the bed, he stood beside it like a little boy come to his parents' bedroom after a nightmare. "About Lucius."

She closed her eyes, rubbing her forehead. "So that's why you two aren't as chummy anymore."

He nodded and sunk onto the bed. She had never seen him look so defeated and exhausted. He then spoke so softly that she strained to hear.

"They betrayed me, as you said they would. I was working…" He stopped to gulp and rein in his emotions. "They took my research and presented it as theirs. They had meant to level the playing field by letting the Dark Lord know that others could supply his potions."

"Is this why you turned away from Voldemort?"

"Partly."

Emmaline put her head in her hands. It was a while before Severus realized by the shaking of her shoulders that she was crying. He moved forward to wrap her in his arms, pulling her close to him. "It is all in the past now." He kissed her hair, her forehead, and pried her hands off her face to kiss her nose and then her mouth. After a while, she pulled away.

"You git!" she panted, all the crying and kissing leaving her short of breath. "I _told_ you they would do that! I _asked_ you to come with me so you wouldn't have to wait until they _did_! Instead you trusted _Lucius_ for some unfathomable reason…"

"He helped me through a rough time at Hogwarts…!" he snapped back, effectively stopping her rant. His hands grasped her wrists, and he peered at her through the darkness in the room, his brows drawn together, his eyes searching her face. Hoarsely, he added, "You don't understand…It was before you came into my life…"

Despairingly, she whispered, "Oh God, Severus, I wish I_ had_ been there earlier…but I offered you a way out and you, like a blind idiot, walked right into the trap your best friend had set for you!"

Severus wished he had seen this coming, but he had no idea she had felt so strongly about his future. "Emmaline, it's alright now…" he tried to placate her.

"Get out."

"But…" _Just when he was in her bed kissing her…_

"Now," and he left rather than face the threat indicated in her voice.

* * *

When Emmaline awoke, she stretched languidly in the early morning light. Words and phrases from the night before came back to her, and frowning, she thought about her problem with Severus. He meant well; she knew that. As always, he was forward and sure regarding his affection for her. It was something she'd always loved about him – he embraced her as she was, wholeheartedly and without reservations.

Wondering what Joe's decision might be, she dressed quickly and went down to breakfast.

Severus roused when he heard Emmaline's door shut. He had slept only fitfully, thoughts of Emmaline and Andrew, Lucius and Draco keeping him awake and disturbed. Sighing heavily, he rubbed bloodshot eyes with both hands and rolled over for an extra fifteen minutes' sleep.


	30. Muggles Amok

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ I don't like having my chapters out of sync with the ff-net list because of my epilogue. It fools me every time I go to post. So, you're getting two chapters! Enjoy! (Thanks to **cecelle**, my beta, I remembered to check the chapter number issue – but only after I posted the wrong one!)

_Chapter 29_

_Muggles Amok_

The domestic Portkey deposited them back among the warehouses. Severus' sense of direction was totally befuddled, but Emmaline led them surely back to her office. Entering the warm, brightly lit room, Severus noted that it was empty except for the two of them.

"Perhaps I should go so you can get some work done…"

"Don't be silly, Severus," Emmaline chided him, looking back over her shoulder from her desk. "I need you to look over some items and decide which ones will be useful for the meeting New Year's Eve."

Before Severus could respond to that, Kenneth walked through the back door exclaiming, "You're back!" His next words left Severus cold. There was no turning back from the task ahead of them all – the boys would have to face Voldemort. "I've got most of the covert devices and all of the protective clothing I could find lined up in the workshop. Wanna come take a look?" Severus nodded gravely and followed him into a large warehouse to which the small office was attached. People dressed in Muggle lab coats were working at various tables around the space or walking purposefully, hands full of materials.

"I'm going to return a few calls while we're here," Emmaline, standing in the doorway, called after them. "Severus, you have an unlimited budget. Kenneth," she addressed the black man, "hold nothing back. We're talking a serious confrontation here." He acknowledged her solemn tone with a terse nod and a drawing together of his eyebrows.

"Right. This way, Severus," Kenneth said, leading the way to a large table in the far corner covered with what looked to be clothing and various accessories. "Let's start with the clothing first. Once you know what protection you'll have from that, we can move on to the incidentals – the extra protection to cover what the clothing doesn't."

Severus nodded grimly.

After the long session perusing the fruit of the laboratory, he was given a tour by the head of the research wing. He was told that mass production took place in another warehouse, and the research people only performed random quality control for the mass produced items. He saw a myriad of potions – useful in strengthening fabrics, making metals pliable or extra durable, glues that held better than any Permanent Sticking Charm – among other items he did not recognize. He inquired about one of the Muggle inventions used on most of the clothing items and was told it was called "Velcro." He sniffed in disdain at Muggle crassness. How could they possibly utilize something so ugly, crude, and jarring to one's ears? Even when explained the utility and economics of "Velcro," Severus found he had no love for Muggle inventions. Overall, he supposed he was impressed, but was still not comfortable with the addition of Muggle technology to magical knowledge. He had no doubt that the strange material sewn into long johns would be protective – an effective Strengthening Solution for fabric containing Eyebright roots had been applied as well as anti-ripping charms at the seams. However, the "Kevlar" fabric alone held no promise as it had been developed by Muggles for Muggle use. Despite his doubts, if Emmaline and Andrew had faith in the combination of Muggle and magical…well, he trusted them.

* * *

Severus and Emmaline Flooed to her home from the office. He was eager to look around the place; at first glance, it was desperately Muggle, but he soon noticed wizarding photographs tucked in between Muggle ones. He noticed a young boy with honey-colored hair waving fiercely from a photo on top of the TV and did not notice he was smirking back at it until Emmaline called "This way!" from halfway up the stairs. Severus jogged up the narrow staircase and found her in the doorway to a room on the north side of the house. "You can stay in the guest room," she said, "and the bathroom is just across the hall a bit." He followed and watched as she pointed out the linen closet. When they emerged from the bathroom, his eyes were drawn to a sunny room next door. He stared at the messy bed, the full to bursting bookshelf, a poster of common potions ingredients next to another detailing the nine planets of the solar system and their moons, and a large picture on the dresser showing Andrew and Emmaline in front of the Richmond Public School of Magic. It looked like it might have been his first day of school. Emmaline was waving gamely, while Andrew looked alternately a bit green and a tad impatient. Frowning, Severus wondered – if Andrew had come to Hogwarts as a first year, would his mother have been able to let him go?

"We've got an hour or so until we're expected over at the Clays' for dinner," Emmaline said as she exited her room. She noticed him standing in Andrew's doorway. "Severus?"

"Hmm…"

She touched him lightly on the arm. Smirking, she teased, "Never seen a teenager's room before?" knowing quite well he had.

He looked down at her, obviously not rising to the bait. "You were saying…?"

"We'll go over to the Clays for dinner in an hour."

His brow knitted as he asked, "We?"

Her lips twitched. "_I'm_ not cooking." She turned around at her doorway. "I'm going to take a short nap." _Or at least try to…_

* * *

Severus sighed at his reflection in the mirror. He had decided to keep wearing Muggle clothing but to change for dinner. The dark gray slacks he had transfigured were different – for him – because he felt that all black might be too severe. He also wanted to compete with the smartly dressed Kenneth. He was unsure about the wine-red-colored, long-sleeved cashmere sweater. He had changed the neckline several times and decided that a few buttons and a collar looked best on him. If he were feeling particularly brave, he might have kept the V-neck, but truthfully, it wasn't a look he wanted to sport in public. Now, his _hair_…

He knocked gently on Emmaline's door, hoping she was still asleep. He wanted to steal into her bathroom to see if she had anything he could use on his hair. There was nothing in the hall bathroom, not even lurking in the dark corners of the cupboard. Easing the door open, he poked his head in to assess the situation. Her back was towards the door, so he slipped in. On his way to the bathroom and products to tame his fluffy hair (as it invariably behaved after cleansing), he found himself leaning over her sleeping form. Her deep, even breathing seemed very feminine to him, and he cocked his head over this odd observation. Unfortunately, she sighed and rolled onto her back, waking up and blinking at him.

"Severus," she acknowledged him, her voice thick with sleep. "Is it time to go?"

"Almost," he quietly replied.

"Mmmm…" she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. She looked at him sharply, but her tone was concerned when she asked, "Did you need something?"

He frowned. "My hair," he said, matter-of-factly.

She smiled softly. "I always liked how it looked right after you washed it."

"It's too fluffy," he said defensively.

She tilted her head as if considering the truth of his statement. Shaking her head, she threw off the covers and padded into her bathroom. "If you must use something, for goodness sake, use a Muggle product. The ones you make for yourself – you might as well put lard on your head." Turning around, she met his sour countenance with a determined one. "Use this."

"Anti-frizz serum," he read, not pleased with her affront to his hair.

"Just use a _little_ bit. Please," she added, almost begging.

* * *

They arrived through the Floo – Emmaline hadn't felt like driving after their long trip earlier that day. Severus paused to greet Kenneth, and Emmaline gave him a cursory greeting before rushing off towards the rattle of pots and pans.

"Can I get you something to drink, Severus?" At the pale man's nod, he continued, "Don't think we'll have wine with dinner… What would you pair with country fried steak…?" Severus' eyebrow rose as he contemplated that gastric delight. "How about some bourbon?" Kenneth asked after taking stock of his liquor cabinet.

They seated themselves in the living room, each with a respectable amount of liquor in their glasses. Severus felt better with the bit of liquid courage and hoped it loosened him up enough to be a decent conversationalist – he had barely spoken at the Abernathy's apart from out on the porch in the dead of night. Emmaline entered, carrying several dishes, followed by a petite black woman brandishing a large platter. She was demurely attractive, and although their skin color matched, nothing else about her seemed to physically link her to Kenneth. The women put their burdens down on the table and, with some whispering and a few giggles, approached the lounging men.

"Severus," Emmaline addressed him. He noted that she had not smiled so broadly, her eyes had not shone so luminously over the past week he had been in her company. "I'd like to introduce you to Kenneth's wife, Katie." The deceptively young-looking woman –as Severus decided, up-close being able to see slight age-lines on her face – shook his hand firmly. He also noticed that her warm hands were slightly calloused.

"Welcome," she greeted him. "I'm _so_ glad you could come."

Severus decided he liked her voice. It was honey-rich with a dark tone to it. Where Annie's accent had been harsh and hard to follow, Katie's was a melodic Southern drawl with a lulling, soothing quality. "Thank you for having me," he replied, a respectable amount of sincerity in his voice.

"I've made a special treat – too bad Andrew's not here," she said, turning to Emmaline. "You'll find it's as hearty as any English dish and for the weather we're having, too."

"To be honest, we haven't been outside for any length of time in Richmond."

"You're not missin' much! How was the weather in Arizona?"

"Cold," Emmaline answered, and deflected the talk from their recent trip. "Of course, in England, it was actually snowing."

"Can't decide if that's lucky or not," Katie grinned wryly at him. "It can be a hassle gettin' around in snow sometimes." Severus inclined his head in agreement. "Well, I'll go get the rest of it, and we can sit down and dig in." She grabbed Emmaline's arm on her way back to the kitchen. "Come on, you, and give me a hand."

"Katie's a great cook. You'll like the country fried steak." At Severus' baleful look, he explained, "It's just tenderized meat, fried and then drowned with country gravy. It can turn out tough, but Katie's got a knack for making it just right– most people think that's why I married her." Kenneth patted his stomach contentedly. "After all, way to a man's heart is through his stomach, yeah?" He gave Severus a teasing smile before taking a swig of his drink. Laughter burst out of the kitchen and quickly subsided. The men turned their gazes from the kitchen door to each other. After a lazy shrug, Kenneth sank further in his chair while Severus sipped at his bourbon.

* * *

The two women entered the kitchen, Emmaline checking the bread in the oven and Katie finishing the mashed potatoes.

"Girl," Katie began, transferring the pot of boiled potatoes off the stove and over to the sink to be drained, "you do bring in the oddest people."

Emmaline gaped at her best friend. "Me? Kenneth's brought a stream of odd people through here over the years…"

"Now, now," Katie said soothingly, "don't get me wrong – he's certainly a gentleman – but you have to admit he's a bit…" She glanced at Emmaline warily. "…odd.".

Emmaline sighed. "Yeah, but you don't know him…"

"No, but you do," said Katie pausing in her mashing of the potatoes. When Emmaline didn't continue, she asked with a raise of her eyebrows, "What's so great about him?"

"Well, um…" Emmaline hemmed.

"Don't tell me there's something wrong with this one," Katie complained exasperatedly.

"No, no!" Emmaline jumped to defend her former lover. "Well…he's great. He really is, but…"

"Spit it out, girl!"

"We were together." Emmaline paused, then winced when Katie fixed her with a glare that demanded the rest of the story. "At Hogwarts. So, a long time ago. And it can't be fixed."

Katie harrumphed, "Nonsense! Ain't nothin' broke bad enough that cain't be fixed with a little understanding, as my mother used to say."

"I thought you and your mother weren't on good terms," Emmaline pointed out.

"Well, yes, but she does have some good sayin's," Katie grinned impishly. They both laughed uproariously over this until Emmaline covered her mouth, sure that the men had heard them laughing. "Those men don't care what we're in here talkin' about, long as they get their supper."

"Hmm…"

"You like this Severus, then?"

Emmaline nodded. "He's a good man." She shrugged. "Most of the time."

"When you ain't fightin' you mean."

One corner of Emmaline's mouth quirked up. "Yeah…It's mostly me pushing him away, though."

"He's interested?"

As she nodded her head affirmatively, a deep blush formed on Emmaline's cheeks.

"Hmph, you oughtn't to let the good ones go, Emmaline. Hard enough to come by as it is. Look at Kenneth," she gestured towards the kitchen door. "I ain't never seen a better man than mine and very few that even come close."

Emmaline's sigh and forlorn look startled Katie. She'd never seen her friend's expression so full of regret and sorrow. "This isn't fixable," she whispered. "Trust me. There are things he doesn't know… Things I should tell him…" She shook her head despairingly, tears threatening in her eyes. "He wouldn't want me after that."

Katie pursed her lips grimly and fiercely beat the potatoes.

* * *

After sitting down at the table, Katie had produced a fresh spinach salad with Dijon mustard vinaigrette for Emmaline, who had squealed with delight. She had only eaten a portion of her steak. Severus had poked at it a bit, then tentatively taken a bite. Thereafter, he carved out more suitable bites, thoroughly enjoying the warm, savory taste. Accompanying the main dish were garlic mashed potatoes (with skins), and fried corn cakes. The latter were a bit sweet inside with a salty shell – quite unlike anything he'd tried before. The food was heavy but good, and although Severus thought he could have done with a bit less grease, he was appreciative of the culinary efforts made by Katie Clay.

Katie Clay…now there was an interesting woman. He understood immediately why she had become Emmaline's best friend and could picture her showing Andrew how to bake cookies or pick the freshest melon at the market. The woman was a bit of an enigma until a certain fact came out…

"Now, Severus, tell us what you do…for a living?" she added, seeing his questioning raised eyebrow.

"Up until recently, I was the Potions master at Hogwarts. I had the opportunity this year to take over the Defense Against the Dark Arts position as a suitable replacement for Potions had been found. I still tutor aspiring Potions students – Andrew, for example."

"Now, I know Andrew had Potions at Richmond Public, but I don't recall him having Defense…?" She looked at Emmaline who shook her head. "No, didn't think so…but! Well, I don't keep up with it all like I used to." Severus stopped eating and stared at her.

"She means…" but Kenneth was interrupted.

"I _mean_, I used to try and sort out all those magical terms, but it never was a necessity and wasn't any use to me anyway. I'm more eager to talk gossip than spells, as are most of the wives over at the workshop." Severus glanced curiously at Emmaline; she was trying to suppress a grin.

"I'm afraid I don't understand…"

Katie chuckled, not at all self-conscious. "People think I married him because he's a wizard, you know," she imparted conspiratorially. Kenneth beamed, chewing heartily on his steak. "Didn't think I wanted to marry him 'cause I loved him or anything!"

"Or because we spent a lot of time in bed…" Kenneth winked at his wife.

Emmaline half-choked, half-laughed. Severus saw her wipe at her eyes.

"Well, people would think of that first what to look at you and all, but no, I get pegged by his family as a…well, it's not a nice word." Her mouth turned into a sour grin. Severus nodded solemnly. The pureblood set had foul names for all sorts of people who were different from them. Muggles who aspired to marry a wizard or witch were called exceptionally crude names She sighed dramatically. "'Course, _my_ family thinks I'm foolish for marrying such an odd man. Don't understand him, won't try. Well, they got themselves, and I got Kenneth. I'd say I got the better deal." The married couple beamed at each other.

Emmaline laughed aloud now. "Oh, my! I don't think you've ever talked about your marriage quite like that before!"

"'Course not! Little pitchers, you know? Andrew may fool you into thinkin' he ain't listenin', but I'm telling you! That boy knows a heck of a lot more than he lets on!"

"Amen," Kenneth said quietly.

Severus smirked. He was beginning to really like these people.

"Tell me, Severus, you knew Emmaline at school…was she just as stubborn and independent then?"

Severus looked up at Katie and saw a teasing glint in her eye. He cocked his head, studying Emmaline who made an innocent face. "Quite," he said succinctly.

"Did she give her teachers trouble…?"

"No," Severus replied after a pause. "But the other students knew not to cross her."

Katie chortled, "Oh! That's not a surprise!" Emmaline smiled and shook her head dismissively. "Did she give _you_ any trouble?"

Severus stared at the woman, his fork poised over his plate. Katie had a mischievous grin and her eyes were brimming with mirth. At the edge of his perception, he heard Emmaline groan. Slowly, he smirked, "Yes." He looked over at Emmaline to find her staring fixedly at her plate, her face bright red. "Of course," he added, voice sprinkled with amusement, "I didn't mind." He brought the fork up to his mouth to savor another morsel of gravy-coated meat.

"Hmm…" murmured Katie. "You know, it sure has been quiet around here without Andrew. 'Course, he doesn't talk nowadays as much as he used to when he was little. You remember that, Emmaline?"

Emmaline nodded, more calm now, but still concentrating on her plate.

"He used to jabber on non-stop about this and that – fairly enamored with magic, you know," Katie continued. "He'd recite all the spells he knew, then go into magical beasts, plants, and whatnot before starting again!" Emmaline was grinning now. "Until that dratted Muggle…!"

"Katie!" Emmaline admonished her both verbally and with a stern look. Kenneth had been nodding in agreement with his wife, but wasn't about to butt into the conversation.

"Well, I reckon that's not something we should talk about at the dinner table…" Katie said nonchalantly.  
Severus turned his attention to the diminutive black woman. Concernedly, he asked, "What happened?"

Emmaline made a noise of irritation before answering, "It's nothing, Severus. Just…" She glanced furtively at Katie before continuing, "A man I thought was a nice, normal guy," she sighed, "turned out to be one of those Muggles who freaks out when told about magic."

"What did he do?"

Katie flicked her eyes over to Emmaline, who was lost in her memories, then supplied the answer. "The guy just shook him a bit. I don't think Andrew knew what was happening; he was only seven or so." At Severus' concerned expression, she added, "Emmaline hexed him out the window before he could do any real damage."

Emmaline huffed in frustration and shook her head. "_Real_ damage? Andrew was traumatized. He wouldn't talk about magic outside our home, and only if he knew the people there were thoroughly informed about it."

"It was a good lesson for him," Kenneth stated. "Of course, maybe it wasn't the best way to learn it," he amended, seeing Emmaline's glare.

"I wouldn't worry, Severus," Katie said placatingly. "I doubt Andrew even remembers it."

"I hope not," said Emmaline emphatically.

After the main course had settled sufficiently, Katie returned from the kitchen with dessert. "Pecan pie! It's a Southern tradition, you know. I don't know whether you've had it…" Severus shook his head.

"Katie's is the best I've ever tasted," Kenneth pitched in, having not been very talkative so far. He seemed to know to keep out of the way of the two women, knowledge possibly gained by experience.

"There you go," she said, placing a slice on his dessert plate. "Oh! I forgot the ice cream!"

"I'll get it," said Kenneth as he rose from his chair.

"There now, go ahead and dig in. You don't have to wait."

Severus plunged his fork through the tip of the slice, coming away with a modest-sized portion. He tasted the intense sweetness of the syrup and noted the crunchiness of the pecans. Yes, he would need ice cream to cut the sickly sweetness of the dessert. Emmaline was not eating any, but helped herself to some ice cream after dishing out a few scoops for him. "I've always thought it was weird to eat ice cream in the winter," she quietly remarked.

Severus smirked at this non sequitur and added, "Draco would eat ice cream year-round if it was available to him."

"You spend a lot of time gettin' to know your students, do ya?"

Severus politely wiped his mouth with his napkin. "Draco is my godson," he replied.

"I see," Katie said, narrowing her eyes. "Do the two of them know you guys knew each other at Hogwarts?"

Emmaline shook her head emphatically, but Severus answered, "I believe they have some inkling, though I have never discussed it with them."

"You might wanna tell them."

"Why?" asked Emmaline, confusion etched on her face.

"It is probably a moot point," confessed Severus, clearly resigned to his position of former paramour.

"You know," Katie said shrewdly, "you're much different from that Alex guy she was seein'. He was a complete jerk, and didn't treat her," she indicated Emmaline with her head, "right at all."

Severus looked politely confused while Emmaline stared daggers at her across the table.

"Who're we talking about?" asked Kenneth, apparently as confused as the other man.

"That accountant fella -the handsome one," Katie explained.

"Wait a minute…we're not talking about Alex Greenwood, are we?" Kenneth asked, a touch of disbelief in his voice.

"Yep," Katie confirmed.

"_No_, we are _not_ talking about him," Emmaline ground out, glaring across the table. She shrugged, apparently unconcerned with the topic of conversation. "It wasn't much of anything…" Turning to Severus, she muttered an apology. "I'm sorry. You don't need to hear all this."

"Hopefully, though, we've kept you entertained," Katie said dryly.

"Yes, well…" He cleared his throat and stood up gracefully. "Thank you for the delicious meal, but we have an early morning…"

Katie still peered across the table at Emmaline who was still composing herself. "Yeah, I suppose you do… There's a bit of a time change between here and there…" She got up, but did not shake Severus' outstretched hand. Instead, Kenneth grabbed it while Katie disappeared into the kitchen.

"Really glad to have you over," he said, pumping Severus' arm forcefully. Severus smiled tensely back. When he was let go of, he moved to help Emmaline out of her chair. She sprung up at the same time and managed to run into him.

"Sorry," she mumbled awkwardly as Katie came out carrying a covered dish. He merely left his hand on her back, feeling compelled to lend some type of support to her.

"Here's a pie to take back to Andrew. I know he'll want one." Katie handed over the pie plate to Severus with an apologetic smile. She then drew Emmaline into a hug. "You tell Andrew that we missed him, and he's to come see us when he gets back."

"I will," Emmaline smiled, for the first time since before dessert.

"Y'all have a good trip back." She herded them to the fireplace and held out a pot of Floo powder. Emmaline Flooed away, but Severus turned when he heard his name.

"Goodbye, Severus, and good luck," Katie winked at him, her husbands' arm wrapped around her shoulder.

He nodded and threw the Floo powder.

"I'm sorry about that, Severus," she said, pacing up and down the den as he emerged from the Floo.

"It is no matter…"

"It's just…she meant well – really, she did – but," Emmaline gave a slight laugh, "that wasn't exactly what I needed to tell you." She stared at him, searching his face for any signs. All she saw was an inquiring, raised eyebrow. "Andrew really is fine – I know that – and I haven't seen that Muggle since. And, Alex…" she sighed heavily. "Alex was a cad who didn't tell me he was married. I found out about it a little over two years into our relationship," she added quietly. "Well, I wouldn't call it a relationship – maybe…an affair? Anyway, he's the company accountant and," she sighed, "it just seemed so easy." She shrugged nonchalantly. "It's old news really – three years ago."

Severus sighed tiredly.

"I'm sorry… Like I said, you don't need to be burdened by everything that's happened to me since…" she trailed off. Clearing her throat, she managed to get out, "We should try to get some sleep… What time do we need to get up in order to get to Hogwarts around nine?"

He thought for a moment. "Four."

She nodded brusquely. "Right – to bed." Severus followed her up the steps. He turned into his room, and she trod purposefully into hers. _Bother with packing in the morning…_

She tossed and turned, not able to sleep despite her fatigue, the time difference, last nights' sleeplessness… When her door opened a crack, she was not surprised.

"Couldn't sleep either?" she asked softly.

"No," came his answer, just as soft.

She sighed and patted the bed next to her. "Come talk to me, then."

"What about?" he asked, sliding under the down comforter and propping his head on his elbow.

She shrugged despite his inability to see it in the semi-darkness.

"Emmaline… Despite what you've gone through…or maybe because of what you've been through, you are a good mother."

She couldn't help it; she felt hot tears leaking out and sliding down her cheeks into her ears…

"Are you crying?" he asked concernedly, leaning closer. His hand came up to wipe them away, but the tears were persistent. In an effort to win the battle, he pulled her closer with a hand on her back, moving toward her at the same time. He ended up holding her in the middle of the bed as she wept into his flannel shirt. His lips touched her hair tentatively as his hand rubbed slow circles on her back. The familiarity of his touch relaxed her, and she snuggled more into his warmth. He finally tucked her head under his chin, sighing softly as he closed his eyes. Just as he was starting to drift off, he thought he heard a misty voice say, "I've missed you…"


	31. The End Is The Beginning Is The End

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Dear readers, please thank my beta, **cecelle**, for gently prodding me to keep going. Your reviews help, too, and I love to hear what you've got to say. If you leave a signed review, I will reply – probably before the next chapter gets posted! Speaking of - it's written, but I've got some major tweaking to do before it can be posted. Trust me - you'll want this next one to be perfect. It's the chapter you've been waiting for! Well, almost…as I won't reveal _everything_. What would there be left to read?

_Chapter 30_

_The End is the Beginning is the End_

Things were quiet on their trek back to the castle from Hagrid's abode until they reached the front doors. Emmaline plucked at his sleeve nervously. He finally turned towards her. "What?" he asked flatly, trying to keep his exasperation with her out of his voice.

"How do you think we should tell them?"

He regarded her with some consternation. This morning had been awkward, to say the least; not only were they not used to waking up with another person, but they were especially not used to waking up next to each other. He shook his head slightly to try and dismiss the uneasiness he was feeling around her and answered with a terse, "It is probably best to be straightforward."

She sighed disappointedly. "Yes, of course." She started off across the Entrance Hall; his long strides quickly caught him up with her. They turned a corner, and he glanced at the Great Hall. It should be nearly empty… He stopped with a hand on Emmaline's arm. She turned to look at him, then followed his gaze into the Hall. She smiled, and her smile only grew bigger as she took quick steps into the room.

Most of the people seated at the table looked up as she entered the hall. Severus noted that Andrew's face was the brightest. Emmaline laughed with joy as she embraced her son before he could even rise from his seat.

"Glad you're back, Mom."

She squeezed him an extra time. "Me, too," she murmured, fearing a louder voice would allow tears to flow. She straightened up and turned toward Draco. Without a word, she swooped down and hugged him, too. It wasn't as long as Andrew's hug, but it was a real one nonetheless. She pulled away, leaving the blonde-haired boy blushing fiercely.

Albus smiled broadly from his seat at the end of the table everyone was sharing. "Welcome back! Ah! I see you've returned our Professor Snape in one piece." He gestured to the man standing near the doors. Everyone turned to look at him – Andrew half-smiling, half smirking, Draco still trying to compose himself, the Gryffindors stupidly gaping…

Clearing his throat, he adopted his teacher's persona and glided up beside Emmaline. "We have successfully completed our assignment." He glanced furtively at Emmaline and the boys. "I could use some help in the Potions lab today…Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Logan, have you any time available?"

"Sure," Andrew agreed, stuffing a piece of toast into his mouth.

"Yes, sir," Draco nodded solemnly, wiping his mouth with the corner of his napkin.

Andrew glanced sideways at his friend and mumbling, added, "Sir."

Severus nodded. "Good. When you finish here, report to my office."

"Yes, sir," Draco replied importantly.

Severus graced the Gryffindors with one last glare before striding purposefully from the room. He was disappointed when Emmaline didn't follow him, but he admittedly didn't expect her to do so.

* * *

Andrew was happy to see his mom again. He knew Draco was glad to have her there, too. "Scooch over," he whispered, elbowing his best friend. Draco glared at him, but relented easily when he realized they were making room for Emmaline. "Sit down, Mom," said Andrew as he tugged at her arm.

"Thanks," she said as she sank into the seat between him and Draco.

"Have some breakfast, my dear," Professor Dumbledore invited her with a wave of his hand. "I am afraid that I have some business to attend to although it is still early morning. Good day to you all!" he ended heartily and ambled out of the Great Hall, whistling what sounded like a drinking song.

"Tell me what you've been up to," Emmaline asked as she reached for the pumpkin juice.

"Only if you tell me what you've been doing," Andrew replied. Noting the quick change in color on his mom's face from normal to pale to pink, he relented. "We've been doing homework mostly..."

"When Andrew will shut up about Persephone…" Draco interjected.

Andrew glared across his mom. "I _don't_ talk about her all the time!"

"Sure," Draco rolled his eyes and took a dainty sip of tea. "So, mentioning her _every time_ a new topic comes up isn't all the time?" he asked as he turned to cock an eyebrow at his friend.

Andrew's mouth hung open like a fish for a while until he shot back, "You're her cousin! I thought you might know what she thought about things!"

"_Distant_ cousin, mind you. And, I haven't seen her for years…" Draco added flippantly, waving his toast around. "What am _I_ supposed to know about her?"

Emmaline gave a discreet cough. "I think you're supposed to play along," she staged-whispered in Draco's direction. He looked at her strangely.

Andrew laughed. "It's okay, Mom. Really. Draco's right; I have been a little annoying." He glanced up and shrugged at the Gryffindors.

"A _little_ annoying…!" Draco murmured under his breath.

It was a bit startling when one of the Gryffindors spoke, as they had all been silent as the grave until then. Ginny had asked, "Who's Persephone?"

"My _cousin_," Draco spoke up snidely. "Weren't you paying attention…?"

"That's not what she meant and you know it," Andrew said, giving him a look that said, "Stuff it." Turning to Ginny, he met her gaze. "She _is_ a distant relation of Draco's, but she's really nice…" He ignored Draco's cry of indignation and continued, "I only spoke to her for an hour or so, but we've been exchanging letters for about a week now. She's really easy to talk to…or I guess write to," he grinned a bit goofily, "and _I_ think she's really pretty." Draco snorted. "Don't listen to him," Andrew said conspiratorially with a wink. Ginny giggled.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Tell me again, Logan, why you _dated_ that Gryffindor? I don't know what you see in her," he said scathingly.

While Ginny turned up her nose haughtily, Andrew spoke before the other Gryffindors could leap to her defense. Casually, he stated, "Sometimes you have to get to know people before you can see what makes them great to be around." He allowed a few seconds for that thought to sink in before he asked, "Hey, are you about done? I want to go see what Professor Snape wants help with."

Draco sighed. He could feel the blush, high on his cheeks, as he wiped his mouth a final time, and stood up, throwing down his napkin. "Come on, then."

"Mmhmm," Andrew answered, his mouth still full. He stood up, grabbed a few pieces of toast, swallowed, kissed his mom on top of her head, and hurried to catch up with Draco.

"Whatever will we do for entertainment now?" Emmaline asked the students seated opposite her, as she watched Ginny struggle not to laugh. Finally, the young girl burst loose with a loud guffaw. Hermione soon followed, albeit not as gustily. Harry had a small smile, but Ron was glowering at his goblet of pumpkin juice. "I know pumpkin juice is terrible, Ron, but surely it hasn't done anything to deserve that glare?" When he glanced up at her, she smirked at him teasingly. He turned a little red and scratched the back of his neck, confusion etched on his face.

"He did it again," Harry said quietly.

She turned to him and asked, "Did what, Harry?"

"Made a point," stated Hermione. "It's so infuriating!"

"I'm telling you – he's channeling Dumbledore," Ron spoke, adding his two cents.

Ginny shrugged. "That's just Andrew." She and Emmaline shared a knowing smile across the table.

* * *

Emmaline leaned against the doorjamb to Severus' office. The boys were badgering him about the work he wanted them to do. She smiled softly as Severus sat across the desk from them, deflecting their questions easily. As if sensing her presence there, he looked up.

"Ah, now we can go," he announced, standing up and grabbing his cloak.

Emmaline smirked at the boys' puzzled expressions. "Go get your cloaks," she instructed them. They looked at each other, trying to figure out what was going on. Not coming up with any ideas, they filed quickly out of the room, headed for Severus' quarters.

Severus adjusted his sleeves, pulling the cuffs down to cover his wrists. "Shall we?" he asked, offering his arm. She smiled conspiratorially at him before complying.

It was immense fun being in on the secret. Somehow the fact that they were the only two who knew – well, aside from Professor Dumbledore – gave Emmaline a sense of camaraderie with Severus. She supposed that conspiracy does bring people closer together. Smiling to herself at the thought, she nearly missed Severus' softly spoken comment.

"You're immensely pleased with yourself."  
She turned her smile onto him. "With both of us," she corrected him. The boys came down the main stairs at that point, and she noticed that Andrew was studying them both closely. Knowing that she couldn't let his imagination get away with him to the point that he started manipulating her and Severus, Emmaline resolved that she would have to seriously talk to him about…well, everything. Everything that she could disclose at this point, that is.

"Where are we going?" Andrew asked.

"The Groundskeeper's hut," Severus answered shortly. When the boys looked puzzled, he added, "He has a specimen from which we will be collecting potions ingredients."

They trudged across the lawns – Emmaline walking beside Severus, although she had dropped his arm – Andrew in the lead while Draco lagged behind. Even though it was cold and overcast, there was a sense of anticipation among the group that kept them warm.

"There ya are," Hagrid greeted them as they came within sight of his hut. "Got the little one all warm and cozy-like i' the back." He gestured for them to follow, and they wound round to the rear of the small building. A small lean-to had been erected, and Hagrid motioned for them to enter. He poked his head in after they crowded around a small nest of straw and blankets in the back corner. "He's been asleep ever since ya transfigured him back, but I expect he'll wake up wantin' to be fed anytime now."

"Thanks, Hagrid," Emmaline smiled at him. "I'm sure he'll keep warm here." She bent down and started rearranging the bedding of the small nest until a fuzzy, golden lump was uncovered. It shivered instinctively in the cold air. Severus cast a warming charm on the corner into which the nest had been placed.

"Is that…" Andrew gulped and blinked a few more times. His mouth was dry, and he couldn't believe his eyes.

"Bloody hell! It's a Re'em!" Draco exclaimed.

"Shh!" Emmaline admonished him. She wanted the little guy to rest as long as possible. Suspended animation was rough on any living thing, but especially the young and the weak. "He's the runt of the litter, so we have to take extra care with him."

"Mom…" Andrew spoke, his voice full of emotion. He sounded so much like he used to as a little boy after a nightmare when she would awake to find him standing next to her bed that Emmaline turned and pulled him into a hug. "You didn't…I mean, I could've…" He shuddered, clearly overcome with emotion.

"You remember Joe and Annie?" He nodded his head, which was firmly held under her cheek. "You used to play with their boys at their house where they raised all those animals?" He nodded again, focusing on his mom's fingers caressing his hair. "And they moved to Arizona…to become ranchers. They decided to raise Re'ems."

"Oh." He was lost for words. "Can I touch him?" he asked in a small voice.

"Of course. He needs to get used to you." She let him go and turned to Draco as Andrew went to his knees beside the nest. "You, too."

Draco swallowed a lump in his throat. "Me?"

Severus, who had been studying all three of them, supplied an explanation. "Yes. You'll both be working with the Re'em – taking care of him so that he can provide the blood that we need."

"What do we have to do?"

"Well, ahh, I got a list right 'ere from…Joe," Hagrid said, squinting at a piece of paper. "Says we gotta feed 'im as often as he'll take a bottle. Then, we can," he cleared his throat, "bleed 'em once he's gained a few pounds…"

Draco peered at the fuzzy bundle. "There's not much to him."

"He's a runt," Andrew chuckled, rubbing the sleeping Re'em's silky ears. It yawned and snuggled deeper into the cradle of blankets. "Doesn't look like he's ready to wake up yet. We'll cover him back up and check on him later." Looking up at Draco, he said, "I'd like to get the base potion started. We'll need three batches for tomorrow night."

"Whoa! I thought he had to gain weight first," argued Draco.

"That is the ideal condition, but we do not have the luxury of time," their professor informed them.

"Just be careful with him. Ask Hagrid if you have any questions about his care," Emmaline instructed them.

"We will," Andrew answered for both of them.

Draco nodded his head and reached down to cautiously pat the creature's back. "It's soft," he murmured.

"Do you know what this means?" Andrew whispered, unaware that the adults had gone back outside. Draco shook his head. "We'll be able to take the potion before the meeting. And – possibly test it!"

"Andrew," Draco began, obviously a bit apprehensive, "what does the potion do?"

The other boy smirked conspiratorially. "It should cancel out the effects of the _Cruciatus_ curse."

Draco gasped. "What!"

Andrew smiled bigger and nodded his head. "Yep, this little guy," he patted the sleeping bundle, "is going to keep us safe." His countenance fell a bit. "Hopefully."

"Bloody hell…" Draco stared off into space, thinking what a potion with that property would mean for the Death Eaters and for their adversaries. "Bloody hell," he repeated, more darkly. He didn't normally swear – Malfoys always found more creative ways of expressing themselves than banal profanity – but today had started to turn his world upside-down.

* * *

Severus followed Emmaline into his quarters. "I won't need to check in with the boys until they are ready to add the Re'em blood."

She nodded absently. "That's good."

He followed her into the extra room that he had created for her and Andrew and watched as she enlarged her suitcase. She began unpacking all of the clothing and items he had picked out at the warehouse, sorting them into three piles – one for each of them attending the New Year's Eve meeting with the Dark Lord.

"Perhaps we should talk," he suggested, hurriedly adding when she turned around with an apprehensive look, "while the boys are out." He was anxious to get everything out into the open, so that they could start afresh. The noticeable distance between them had been eating at him for over a week now. The memories he had lived through had prepared him for her reappearance, but she…wait, memories.

"Yes, I suppose you're right." She sighed loudly.

Severus edged towards the doorway, keen to leave. "There is one thing I must take care of first. I only need a minute with the headmaster," he amended when she looked panicky.

"Alright then." She watched him leave and then sunk onto the mattress, head in her hands. Tears pricked at her eyes as she tried to dredge up the confidence she would need to face him – her wonderful Severus – and tell him things she knew he would hate to hear.

* * *

Severus strode into the headmaster's office without knocking.

"Ah, Severus, I can't tell you how pleased I am that you – and Emmaline – succeeded in your mission." Seeing his young friend's stoic countenance, he glanced at him over the top of his spectacles.

"It is time, Albus." He took a deep breath. "You may remove the memory block now."

"I see," the headmaster said, thoughtfully. "I think you know best when it comes to that young lady – but…Severus," he sighed, his face suddenly sagging with his own memories. "I hope things work out for the best," was all the advice he felt qualified to give.

"Thank you," Severus replied, and the headmaster could see that the man he had taken under his wing so long ago shared his hopes.

Murmuring a bit of Latin and making a sweeping motion over Severus' head, Albus Dumbledore lifted the memory block he had placed upon the younger man a month earlier.

Sights, smells, sounds…images rushed at him – flew around – battered and overwhelmed his senses…Slowly, slowly, he sorted them, labeled them, filed them using his Occlumency to clean the food-fight mess left behind by the removal of the memory block. It wasn't that Professor Dumbledore was an inept spellcaster; rather, the memories had been suppressed too long. It felt like forever before he could look at them all in some order but was probably a short ten minutes. He added the more recent memories to the older ones and ran through them again. Something…something did not fit. Something was…_there_, but he was having a hard time grasping it.

"Albus?"

"Yes, dear boy?"

"May I see the student register?"


	32. Confessions

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Apologies up front for the wait for this chapter. I'd like to note that I've gone through five drafts to get this final version. That said – I hope it has been worth the wait! Thanks to my beta, **cecelle**, it should be. A big "Thank you!" to everyone who reviewed. If you sign in for your review, I promise to respond.

_Chapter 31_

_Confessions_

Severus entered his quarters, shut the door behind him, and paused, half listening for Emmaline and half lost in thought. He blinked hard, took a deep breath and let it out, and hesitantly approached the door to her room. Peeking in, he saw that she was seated on the bed staring out the window. She had a pillow resting in her lap which she clutched at with both hands. He approached the end of the bed and stood still – like a bat hanging motionless from the ceiling. She evidently sensed his presence; she turned her head, but only so she could see him in her peripheral vision.

"I don't know where to begin," she said, her voice sounding like it belonged to a lost child.

He knew exactly where he wanted her to begin. "Perhaps you could explain the significance of March 18th." She looked at him fully then, her brow furrowing in concerned thought. He thought she must be wondering how to tell him. He knew there was probably no easy way.

She spoke, looking back out the window. "It's Andrew's birthday."

"I know." His speech was clipped; he was barely keeping his temper. He wanted to shake her, ask why, demand answers – good ones, too – but he held himself in check. He was slightly enjoying her discomfort; he perhaps wanted her to suffer, because he wanted her to feel as he did. Though he doubted that she'd feel betrayal and loss. Pain, though – he wanted her to feel that. Oh, yes, and maybe it was the Death Eater in him, but it made him feel better that she might be suffering, too, from withholding the truth for so long. How ironic that he could lessen his own pain by watching another person suffer! Was that how the Cruciatus curse got started? His musings were interrupted by her soft voice.

"You've done the math."

He nodded.

She sighed and looked up at him. "Do you remember where we were on June 20th?"

Accusingly, he stated, "I _remember_ that it was our last night together."

"Do you remember going to the Malfoys' summer party?" she asked patiently.

He thought for a moment, then slowly replied. "You wore blue."

"Yes." Emmaline nodded. She studied her hands, twisting on top of the pillow, as if they could explain what happened that night.

* * *

"Bloody hell," Draco repeated as they were walking through the halls of Hogwarts. 

Andrew sighed exasperatedly. "Could you maybe pick something else to say? Like 'Holy Molie' or 'Good God?' I don't know…"

Draco grabbed Andrew's arm. "You don't realize how important -"

"Yes, I do." Andrew stopped and looked at his friend. His _best_ friend. "Right now, I'm more worried about whether it will work. Just because some old guy wrote down a formula ages ago, doesn't mean he wasn't a raving lunatic…"

"The ingredients – they're all useful to stop the symptoms of the curse. And, then, when you add the Re'em blood," Draco continued excitedly, despite Andrew's attempts to shush him, "it just makes sense!"

Andrew frowned at him as he paused at the door to Professor Snape's quarters. "Yes, it does. But that still doesn't mean it'll work." He pushed through the door, and Draco followed him inside. He was halfway to the tapestry that led to the Head Boy's room when he heard his mom say, "Andrew's birthday." He cocked his head, listening but not really sure he should. What if they were planning something?

Draco had stopped behind him, still annoyed at his reluctance to celebrate. They had a Re'em for Merlin's sake! He noticed that Andrew was intent on listening to something, so he focused on the voices, too. Andrew was just moving on to the tapestry when he heard, "Malfoys". He plucked at Andrew's sleeve, and with a finger over his lips, he motioned him closer to the partly open door. Andrew shook his head at him sharply, but Draco scowled and hid behind the couch where he couldn't be seen but could still eavesdrop.

Andrew made a noise of disgust and turned to leave, but stopped when he heard…

* * *

"We conceived that night," Severus stated, crossing his arms. He wanted it to be true; he wished it were false. He hoped that he was having a nightmare. He heard a thump in the parlor and strode to the door. He didn't see anyone as his eyes swept over the area, so he turned back to her.

* * *

Andrew drew deep, quiet breaths, his back pressed up to the back of the sofa. He looked at Draco with wide eyes. Draco stared at him for a second, then his look turned thoughtful. They both swiveled towards the door as the occupants of the other room began speaking again…

* * *

"Maybe," she whispered. Emmaline swallowed past the lump in her throat. She was so close to crying – bawling her eyes out. She hated to hurt him so…

She didn't notice that his eyebrows had risen nearly to his hairline. "Maybe," he repeated bitingly. "Maybe? What the hell do you mean by maybe?" he demanded.

To her credit, she did not flinch from his verbal assault. She felt guilty, but she felt that she deserved the guilt. "Do you remember leaving me to go talk to some foreign dignitary during the evening?" she asked.

He froze. When she looked up at him expectantly, he found his brain was numb as if he had just been given a potion that would dull whatever words she would say next.

She screwed up her face in thought. "I think the guy was Russian?"

"Karkaroff…" he breathed.

"How long did you talk with him?" she asked, her expression intensely serious.

Severus frowned. "Emmaline, that was nearly twenty years ago," he said, clearly irritated with her. "You expect me to remember how long I talked to someone at a party!"

"I…I think it must have been a while…maybe an hour?" she guessed.

He stared at her, thinking back to that night, wondering what all of this had to do with Andrew. Suddenly, it hit him. Despair colored his face until he reined it back into a stoic façade. "You were…cheating on me?" he asked, his voice cold as ice. He wondered how he could not have noticed. "Bloody hell," he murmured, beginning to pace. He stopped when he nearly ran into Emmaline, hands on her hips with a furious expression on her face.

"Sit!" she commanded. When he didn't comply, she pointed forcefully at the bed. As he carefully took a seat, lest he incur a hex in addition to her tongue-lashing, she explained, "You will sit and hear me through until I'm _done_."

He nodded tightly. She hoped he was still listening.

Gasping in a deep breath of air as if she had been holding it in anticipation of his answer, she began, "I don't drink – not usually. You know I don't." He nodded dumbly. "But it was a hot evening, and we had just come off the dance floor…" "I remember Lucius sitting down beside me, remarking about the hot weather…I had only had a few sips of my drink when…" Emmaline squeezed her eyes shut and pursed her lips. "I remember…" she started. "I remember…ahh, I don't know. One minute I was sitting with Lucius …the next – I was upstairs. On a bed. Partially—" she took a deep breath, "—partially unclothed." She flinched and waited for an assault from him. It didn't come. She managed to open her eyes, but she didn't dare to look at him. She couldn't bear to see his face, whatever emotion was written there. Calling up what courage she could wrap around her, she looked over at Severus. He was staring through her, his mouth dropped open in shock, frozen in mid-step.

"You were drugged…!" He couldn't think straight. His emotions were whirling, cycling between shock, despair, longing, rage, and faint hope. Staring down at his hands, he uttered the ugly truth. "You were raped." She said nothing. He didn't think he could look at her. Sighing hugely, he stared at the wall opposite and tried to recreate the scenario. "He must have put something in your drink -"

"Rohypnol," she supplied. He turned to her questioningly, his curiosity winning out over all other emotions. "It's a Muggle drug, commonly used to facilitate sexual assault." She wouldn't look at him, but she continued, "I've since had the time to research it…" "You're sure it was Lucius?" he asked, as if hoping she had somehow got it wrong.

She looked at him measuringly, as she had so many times before. "He had been pursuing me for a while…" She grimaced at Severus' look of shock and betrayal.

"'A while?'"

"Since the first Christmas party you took me to in my seventh year." He still looked as if he couldn't believe it. She sighed at his naivete. "I didn't bother you with it because…I could handle it – or so I thought. You idolized him, too, so I wasn't sure if you'd believe me."

Severus had sunk his head in his hands and appeared to be muttering to himself. "…but he had just married Narcissa…"

"I don't care if he'd just married Aphrodite! That man couldn't be monogamous if you cut his dick off." That got Severus' attention. He looked up into the face of grim, cross-armed ex-lover. "Severus," she sighed, and her face softened. Kneeling beside him, she touched his arm tentatively. "You told me yourself that he betrayed you. Lucius seemed to think he could have anything he wanted, even if it belonged to someone else." She watched his shock fade slowly and a frown of bitter realization settle in. "He especially thought that whatever was yours was his for the taking," she continued, "no matter how many times I told him otherwise."

He finally turned his head to look at her. "You should have told me."

She nodded. "Yes," she agreed truthfully.

"You should have told me," he repeated, his voice sounding more hard than lost this time. He searched her eyes for an explanation.

Realizing he meant something else this time, she fiercely whispered, "There are so many reasons I didn't tell you I was pregnant. I…" she choked and blinked back tears. "I didn't want to tell you, find out it wasn't yours, and have you marry me out of pity. I didn't want to tell you, find out it _was_ yours, and have you marry me out of duty." She took a deep breath, stood up, and drew herself up until she was poised. Looking into his eyes, she said, "You didn't come for me. I wasn't going to force you into anything, and I wasn't going to let my parents force you into anything either." Under her breath, she added, "That's for damn sure."

He looked at her - her chin raised proudly, her back held straight, every inch the pureblooded witch she was brought up to be. "They wouldn't have approved of me," he reminded her.

She felt like rolling her eyes. She had had enough of Severus' pity party. She was the one who had had to live with this knowledge for nineteen years. "They would have been glad to get rid of me," she informed him. "In fact, they were very happy when I refused all of the second-rate boobs who would marry a pregnant woman and left! Then they could disown me and never owe me a bloody cent!"

He looked at her strangely. "Why wouldn't you want that support?"

She scowled at him. "And have Andrew be a second child? Always second – never first? If he was yours, Severus," she hissed his name, "would you want that? He is _mine_," she stressed, pointing to her heart, "and I will _not_ have anyone treat him like that. I…" She was starting to cry again, and she hated it. Shaking her head fiercely, she cried, "I could never raise him like that! …Never," she sobbed, sinking down onto the bed.

Severus looked helpless. He felt helpless. This was not a situation he could ever have imagined. The old adage proved true: truth is stranger than fiction. He studied her as she wept unabashedly into her hands. Unlike earlier, he now wished that she wasn't hurting. To his despair, he felt useless to help in any way. After all, what was he to her, really? Someone who had carelessly and thoughtlessly dropped her as soon as she presented him with a real test of his love for her… No, he was nothing to her…

Standing up, he walked to the door in a daze.

"Please don't go," came a wet whisper across the room. It reached his ears and found the old pathway from there to his heart. He turned to take in the devastated woman across the room. She was trying in vain to compose herself. He closed the door, and walking back over to her, he extended his handkerchief to her.

"Thank you," she whimpered, tears continuing to leak out. However, when he sat beside her and put his arm around her, she jerked away.

"Emmaline…" he spoke softly, tenderly.

"No," she shook her head fiercely, her red nose buried in the square of cloth he had given her. "You don't have to. You shouldn't."

He drew his mouth into a disapproving line. "Why exactly?" She looked at him as if he was being stupid. He waited with raised eyebrow for her response.

In defeat, she took a deep breath while shrugging her shoulders. "You don't want me, Severus. I'm," she blinked back tears, "not whole. I haven't been since I left you." When he advanced toward her again, she held out a hand to stay him. "I don't think it can be reversed," she whispered.

Recalling a conversation from long ago, he said quietly, "I believe you once told me that a person is worth as much as they think and not a penny more."

She looked up at him strangely. "This is different," she pleaded.

"Tell me, then."

With a sobbing sigh, she said, "When Andrew was seven, I… was diagnosed with depression." Haltingly, she continued, "The psychologist thinks that it stems back to when I gave birth to him. The post-partum depression never dissipated and…" She gasped for breath. "And with the stress of providing for him by myself, it morphed into something more…lasting." She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, forcefully willing the tears to stay back, as she tried to take deep, calming breaths.

Suddenly, a warm hand covered her clasped ones and grasped them firmly. "I know that I told you that my parents never got along…" He took a deep breath before continuing. "Though he was a Muggle and she a witch, that wasn't the main problem."

Curious despite the self-pity she was trying to stave off, Emmaline looked up at him through wet lashes. He stared off as if reliving a time long ago. Quietly, in almost a whisper, he admitted, "After Sebastian's death, Mother was prone to – violent – mood-swings. Father did not know how to handle her most of the time… In fact, I think he rarely even tried." He glanced at her and saw that she was steadily gazing at him, apparently more composed.

"Severus…." She removed one of her hands from his and reached up to cup his cheek. "I am so sorry…" She sighed as she dropped her hand and her gaze. "My depression went untreated for _seven_ _years_. You must know what that is like – and …I'm afraid that…I don't know how to be any different anymore." She felt his hand on her hair, stroking from the crown of her head to her shoulder blades.

Severus closed his eyes briefly before confessing. "Mother's developed into a bipolar condition. My father did not deal well with my mother's psychosis. He hid from it, rather than face it. She, in turn, did nothing to check it. I am _not_ my father. I understand that you need help -" He stopped as she shook her head. "What?"

"I, I'm taking medication. It helps – but… there are times I still have setbacks. Usually once a year." She sniffed and dabbed at her face with the handkerchief. "Right around June 20th."

His face registered his surprise, coupled with dismay, before he looked into her eyes and admitted, "I do not want you to have to go through that again – especially alone."

She smiled sadly. "I'm never alone, Severus. Andrew is always there, though he doesn't know why I break down. – He's never asked," she added more quietly.

He pulled her to him and held her for a while. Eventually, he spoke, "What have you told him?"

She flinched. "Andrew?" She felt him nod, so she continued. "Not much. He doesn't know about my family – and I'd like it to stay that way." He nodded, understanding her reasoning. "I – I told him that his father and I loved each other very much, and that his father would be proud of him." She sighed wetly. "What else could I tell him?"

"Were you planning to tell him the whole truth?" he wondered.

"Someday," she admitted. Smirking, she amended, "On my death bed, maybe."

As he chuckled softly, she relaxed into his embrace. "Severus?" she asked into his chest.

"Yes," he whispered into her hair.

"Whenever he asked me about his father – I thought about you." She sobbed quietly for a while, dabbing at her face with the handkerchief. "I always thought about you," she whispered, just barely audible.

* * *

Both Draco and Andrew let out the breaths they had been holding as they waited for Professor Snape to discover them, huddled behind the couch. When the door to his mother's room closed, Andrew shakily got up, absently trying to work some feeling into his left foot which had fallen asleep. Draco slowly rose, too, leaning on the couch for support. His eyes were glued to Emmaline's door. 

Andrew caught him before he could step forward. "No!" he hissed. "They'll know we overheard."

Draco turned to look at his…friend and blinked at the drawn, pale face he saw instead of the usual healthy glow he was accustomed to.

The boys stealthily stole across the parlor and slipped past the tapestry door into the Head Boy's room. Once they felt they could breathe normally again, they looked at each other.

"Do you think…?"

A shake of the head. "I don't know."

"Yeah. Um…We could be brothers."

"Half-brothers."

"Yeah."

Andrew sunk down onto the nearest bed. Draco bit his lip but didn't complain about his bedclothes being messed up. A thought popped into his head and with a gleam in his eye, Draco announced, "I think I know how we can tell."

Andrew turned his head sharply to look at the other boy. "How?" he asked, sounding both nervous and anxious at once.

Draco smirked. He turned to his trunk and dug around in the very bottom until he emerged with a slim long box.

Andrew frowned. "With a wand?"

"No," Draco said reprovingly. Opening the box, he cocked an eyebrow as he showed the contents to Andrew. "With a dagger."


	33. It Begins to Unravel

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Thanks to all reviewers – you keep me interested in seeing this story through and inspire me to write. That is a grand feat so give yourself a much deserved treat (hopefully it's better than just reading this chapter – say, reading this chapter while eating a few chocolate chip cookies or whatever you fancy). Super thanks to my beta, **cecelle**, who wisely haggled about my Legilimency scene. I agree with her that the italics help. I hope you do as well. Comments and suggestions welcome in reviews.

_Chapter 32_

_It Begins to Unravel_

Severus was reluctant, but it had to be done and he was the one who had to do it. Sighing, he gently disengaged himself from a dozing Emmaline. When she tried to snuggle back up to him, he murmured, "I'm sorry, but I must go check on Andrew and Draco. I should be there when they complete the potion."

Softly, she agreed, "Alright."

Suddenly, his eyes stung. He caressed her hair as he said, "I will be back soon. I promise." He pressed a kiss to her forehead before rising from the bed. He hurriedly crossed the room before he was tempted to return to holding her. For the first time since her appearance in Dumbledore's office, he had been content to only hold her. The lust which had nearly consumed him before had been suppressed by his concern and reawakening love for her. It left him shaken; he had long thought himself incapable of such emotions. They had been stripped from him the morning he awoke to find her gone…

He reached the door to the student lab without remembering how he got there. That was not a good thing. He was a spy, damn it, and needed his wits about him at all times, even when safely ensconced at Hogwarts. Closing his eyes and inhaling deeply, he focused on his Occlumency, organizing his thoughts. While things had become a shambles during his talk with Emmaline, now his mind was becoming calm and ordered once again. He also focused on his teacher mode; he felt he would need it when he saw Andrew for the first time since Emmaline's confession. Bracing himself for whatever would come, he opened the door and stepped into the room.

* * *

Both boys looked up when Professor Snape entered the lab. They were both tense with the guilt from their eavesdropping as well as the impromptu paternity test that they had conducted. Thankfully, when their professor spoke, they realized he was more interested in their work than in anything else.

"What stage of the process have you reached?" Snape asked.

"We're ready to add the Re'em blood," Andrew answered less confidently than he usually felt.

The professor's dark eyes flicked over to him, whereas before they had been focused on the potion. Quickly, they flew back to the cauldron. "Very well, you may proceed." Snape crossed his arms and waited patiently.

Andrew could tell Draco was just as anxious as he, even if Professor Snape seemed as calm and collected as ever. Between the conversation they had overheard and the _Laxo Excrucio _potion, Andrew felt as if he stood on a fulcrum and one move would plunge him into happiness or chaos. H_e_ supposed their professor was used to dealing with chaos, or how else could he be so deceptively calm? There was only one other explanation – that Professor Snape had dismissed his mother, had no further use for her – and he was not ready to accept that.

"Here goes," Andrew informed everyone intelligently before he poured the Re'em blood into the potion base. The blood floated on the surface, roiling and pitching as if alive, before blending with the base. "That's odd," Professor Snape mused.

"I followed the directions to the letter," Andrew explained. "I didn't see anything about that kind of reaction…I've _never_ seen anything like it – "

"Nor have I." Professor Snape peered thoughtfully at the potion.

"It's from a completely archaic account – it's no wonder it didn't work right. For all we know, a quack wrote it," Draco groused. Apparently, he was not heartened by the reaction either.

After he requested that they bottle it, Professor Snape noted, "It may be useful anyway. We shall not know until it is tested."

"_If_ it's tested, you mean."

Professor Snape glanced at him briefly again, and Andrew couldn't help the small shiver that he felt. "I assure you, there will be opportunities. If they are taken advantage of, we will have our answer to whether or not this works."

Andrew looked over at Draco to gauge his reaction to Professor Snape's rather vague, but also pointed, words. However, his friend was lost in thought as he stared intensely at the completed potion. "Draco?"

The blonde shook himself. "Sorry. I was just thinking –"

"What?" Andrew prompted him when he cut himself off abruptly.

"Never mind. It can wait." Draco shrugged dismissively and sighed. "I'm not even sure I'd be on the right track anyway."

Andrew looked back to the professor. He was holding the bottled potions up to the light and frowning. "What do you think, Professor?"

"I would expect – with the potion base used – that the final result would be more translucent." He held the flask out to Andrew.

"It's completely opaque."

"Correct." Snape frowned again. "Re'em blood can sometimes be unpredictable, and as it is rarely used, little is known of its reaction with most other ingredients. We shall simply have to go through the trial and error that is inevitable with unknown potions."

Andrew grimaced. "Except we'll have to test it on people."

Draco made a noise of impatience. "So? If we take it before the meeting on New Year's Eve, we might get to test it – and if we get to test it, we'll be able to tell if it works. If it does work…" He looked to Snape. "Sir? Should we fake it if…if it does work?"

"Have you felt the _Cruciatus_ before, Draco?"

Andrew noticed that he avoided the professor's eyes, but before he could think the worst, Draco reluctantly spoke.

"No, sir."

"Then I don't believe you _could_ fake it."

"But I've seen it!" Draco asserted defiantly.

Snape's lip curled into a sneer. "That may be, _but_ until you have felt the curse, you cannot comprehend the pain that it causes the inflicted. You _cannot_ _fake it!_"

Andrew would have quailed at least a little bit under such disdain, but Draco only sighed affectedly and waved off the insult. Looking back at his mentor, Andrew asked, "What would you recommend we do?"

For the first time since he entered the room, Professor Snape looked him in the eye. "I do not know. I will have to think about it."

"Can we eat now?" They both turned to stare in disbelief at Draco. "What? We've completed the potion, and it's lunchtime. I didn't get to finish breakfast, because you dragged me off, Logan."

Andrew sighed. He knew why Draco was in a foul mood, but he knew Professor Snape didn't, nor did he want him to know. "Alright, Draco. Let's go find Mom."

With a strange look, Professor Snape informed them, "Your mother is resting. Perhaps you should wait to disturb her until dinner."

"She can't have had that much jet log," Draco pouted.

"You will _not_ disturb her until dinnertime. Is that clear?" Professor Snape's voice rang out in the still lab despite his soft tone.

"Yes, sir," Andrew agreed quickly. He grabbed Draco's arm with his good hand and propelled him out of the lab.

Outside, he hissed, "It's jet _lag_, by the way."

Draco rolled his eyes. "It's a stupid Muggle term – what do I care if I get it wrong?"

"You hate it when you're wrong," Andrew pointed out.

"True," Draco mused. "But people won't care if I'm wrong about some Muggle thing."

"You'd be surprised," Andrew wryly muttered.

"What d'you mean?"

Sighing, Andrew decided he would bug his mom anyway. She was _his_ mom after all. "Come on," he said, speeding up to a trot. Draco followed silently until they reached the Head Boy's room, and Andrew made to push through the tapestry into Snape's parlor.

"Are you mad? Severus just told us not to –"

Andrew whipped around to harshly whisper, "I know." Pushing through the tapestry, he listened for any sounds. The Head Boy's room was closer to the lab than the professor's quarters, so they should have beaten him even if he left right afterwards and ran the whole way. He approached the door to his mom's room and knocked lightly. Not getting a response and with curiosity eating at him, he eased the door open and poked his head in. He let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding when he saw she was sleeping. Unfortunately, the door hinge squeaked when he went to shut it.

"Severus?" he heard a sleepy voice ask.

Clearing his throat a bit, he responded, "No, Mom, it's me."

He heard her stir a bit before asking, "What time is it?"

"Lunchtime," Draco said from behind him. He turned to glare at the other boy, but Draco just shrugged nonchalantly. If Andrew had thought that his mother wouldn't hear, he would have turned around and choked his best friend.

"Oh, well then, I'll join you." She opened the door and smiled at them. Andrew couldn't help it; he hid his hand behind his back. "I just need to wash my face first." She brushed past them, and Andrew saw that Draco was grinning goofily after her.

"What?" he hissed at him.

Draco adopted a "who me?" look.

"She was asleep!"

"So?" Draco crossed his arms defensively.

"Did you want her to see this?" He held out his damaged hand.

Draco frowned, but merely stated, "It's bandaged."

"Exactly! A great big, bloody bandage!"

"Severus didn't say anything about it; I doubt she will."

Andrew regarded the other boy as if he'd become seriously mentally unstable. "She's my mom – _of course she'll say something about it! _I'd be surprised if she doesn't throw _a right fit!_"

Before Draco could yell back at him, his mom entered from Snape's bedroom as the man himself entered from the hall.

"You're awake," the dark man stated, clearly caught off-guard.

"Yes, I was going to have lunch with the boys. Would you – ?"

"I do believe –" he began discouragingly, but apparently thought better of it and acquiesced, "I will join you." He nodded to Emmaline and offered his arm. Andrew couldn't help it – he smiled. He glanced at Draco, whose mouth was hanging conspicuously open. Apparently, he had thought there would be no reconciliation. But his mom did not take Professor Snape's arm…

"I thought, perhaps, we could eat with just the boys…" Something passed between them because Snape nodded almost knowingly.

"Of course."

As Professor Snape made a short Floo call to the kitchens, Andrew watched his mom transfigure the coffee table into a proper dining table while Draco conjured ever more elaborate dining chairs with great flourishes of his wand. _Show off_, he thought darkly.

Hands on hips, his mom asked, "You expect us to sit in these at that table?"

Draco looked a bit perplexed. The huge wingback chair upholstered in a gold and silver tapestry with dark walnut legs was far too large for the modest, round dining table. The other three chairs weren't much more practical. The boys watched as Emmaline changed the least ostentatious chair (which wasn't saying much) into a sensible Queen Anne chair. It matched perfectly with the table – both in color and in size. "Get rid of the others and replicate this one, please," she instructed Draco. He scowled a bit but set about the task after a glance at Professor Snape's stern face. They finally all sat down with Andrew managing to hide his damaged hand until he could keep it out of sight underneath the table top.

He noticed that Draco was slumped in his chair, arms crossed defiantly, with a dark scowl on his face. Nudging him with his knee, he caught his eye and shot him a questioning look. In response, Draco sunk lower in his chair. The adults continued their conversation about the potion and the relative health of the Re'em without paying much attention to the two boys. Andrew thought this was great, seeing as how he still had a lot on his mind. He ended up watching the interaction between his mom and Professor Snape, his chin propped on his good hand, his elbow on the table. They were both speaking politely, as if they were colleagues but not lovers. He noticed, however, that their body language betrayed them. His mom was turned almost completely toward Professor Snape, and the Professor – though he had his arms crossed in front of him – had crossed his legs in the direction of his mom and was leaning slightly in her direction.

The sudden appearance of food startled everyone, and the adults tuned back into the two adolescents at the table. When Andrew reached for a roll, he was startled when the professor nearly snapped, "Wait for your mother. The lady guest always goes first."

"Yes, sir," he replied contritely, pulling his good hand back into his lap. Beside him, Draco retorted, "That's only if there's no adult male guest."

"Correct," Professor Snape said, his eyes hooded but managing to glare at Draco and creep Andrew out, nonetheless.

Clearing her throat, his mom finally spoke up. "I believe that is correct for formal occasions, but this isn't formal…" Turning to Professor Snape, she accusingly spoke, "…and I don't expect Andrew to know any of that pure-blood, aristocrat nonsense -"

"It is not nonsense, Emmaline. It is standard decorum for any socially conscious young man…"

"Andrew isn't in those types of social circles…"

"Yes, he is," Draco interrupted their argument. "He hangs out with me, doesn't he?" he asked challengingly.

Snape smirked. "Yes, he does." When he turned gloatingly to Emmaline, she smoothed her napkin fiercely in her lap. "Yes, I suppose he does," she said flatly, her accusing gaze falling away from him to her plate. "However, since I've stated that this is _not_ a formal occasion, can we all please just _dig in_?"

Andrew couldn't help it – he smirked. His mom had overruled them all, not that he cared who got food first. To show that he was unfazed by all the bickering, he turned to Draco and asked, "Would you like any mashed potatoes?" In return, all he received was a very nasty scowl.

They ate in mostly silence, all of them seemingly quite grumpy. Andrew didn't feel grumpy; he felt antsy, confused, overwhelmed, and tired all at once. He glanced once more around the table – everyone was still engrossed in eating, apparently as politely and with as much etiquette as could be mustered. Unthinkingly, he reached for another roll with his bandaged hand as his good hand held a forkful of green beans. Unfortunately, his mom, who had been focused on her own plate beforehand, had been looking his way at that very moment. He knew because she nearly choked on her food before managing to swallow and ask hoarsely, "Andrew! What did you do to your hand?"

Before he could answer, Draco blithely jumped in with, "Oh, that? He burned himself on a cauldron…when we were making the potion." Ignorant of the incredulous look from Emmaline and the skeptical look from Snape, he continued blathering on. "You'd think he'd be used to cauldrons after four months at a proper wizarding school, but these things do happen…"

"If I can get a word in edgewise," Emmaline looked pointedly at Draco, "I'd like to hear from Andrew about what happened." In a cool voice, she added, "We'll come back to the 'proper wizarding school' comment later, I think."

Andrew swallowed repeatedly, but his throat was incredibly dry. Draco's foot nudged his ankle under the table, but he ignored him. "I…," he paused, clearing his throat. "I hurt it…" In a flash of brilliance, he knew what he needed to say. He turned to his mom and looked her in the eye. "I'm sorry, but I didn't want to worry you. You see, we'd heard you guys arguing -" Snape's eyebrow went up at that "- and I was just worried about that. That's all."

"You heard us arguing," she stated.

"Yep." He played with his green beans a bit, scooting them over towards the mashed potatoes.

"And?"

He looked back up at his mom and shrugged. "Figured we didn't need to get in the middle of it, so we went back down to the lab."

"Where you burnt your hand."

"Yeah," he said, suddenly not very confident that he'd fooled her even the least little bit.

In a blur, he saw his mom and Professor Snape exchange looks, and then his professor was in his mind. Andrew was unaware that the professor knew Legilimency, but it didn't necessarily surprise him. Andrew took a deep breath and pulled himself together, checking that his mental stacks were secure.

"_What do you want?" he asked at the same time Professor Snape asked, "Where are we?"_

_Snape smirked at him. "You first."_

"_My mind," Andrew answered almost flippantly._

_The smirk fell and was replaced with a narrow-eyed glare. "I know that! What construct is this?"_

_Andrew's mouth twitched. "You don't know?" He looked around proprietarily and supplied the answer. "It's a Muggle library." The stacks moved back and forth a bit but much more quickly than the slow-moving mechanics of a real Muggle library._

"_I see," Snape commented dryly. "I suppose I shan't find what I am looking for…?"_

_Andrew peered at him speculatively for a time. "No," he answered definitively. Straightening up, he felt more like an adult than he ever had before. "You would have to ask me," he said._

Snape inclined his head, and Andrew blinked to find himself back sitting at the impromptu dining table.

"You there, Logan?" Draco asked as Emmaline hushed him.

Andrew moved Draco's waving hand out of his face and squared his shoulders at the two adults. "We did hear the argument—," he dared a glance at Draco, trying to convey an apology, "—and most of what was said." He felt horrible and yet relieved at the same time, admitting the truth. He spoke while he unwound the bandage. "Draco had an idea–," he ignored Draco's noise of protest and betrayal, "– to determine if…" He faltered and looked up briefly at his mom. He registered her horror and brusquely continued on, as if it would hurt less if he said it faster – like ripping off a bandage. "We aren't brothers," he stated, holding out his red, throbbing palm which had a faint imprint of an elaborate "M" and accompanying curlicues.

While his mom remained speechless, Professor Snape took hold of his hand and asked, "What salve did you use on this?"

"Draco found one in a green canister -"

Snape shook his head. "That one is for physical burns." His intense gaze turned to Draco. "I am quite surprised that you did not use the one for magical burns."

In a small voice, Draco admitted, "I couldn't find it."

Dropping Andrew's hand, Snape stood up. "Come. I have some in my bathroom. We need to rinse off the old salve and apply the correct one." He squeezed Emmaline's shoulder before he left the table. "We shall be but a minute," he murmured. Andrew's gaze fell on his mom, and he couldn't tear it away until Snape took his arm and pulled him through into his chambers and shut the door.


	34. Secrets Surfacing & Tables Turning

**_Unbidden Memories   
by lalaluu_ **

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ First a HUGE "Thanks!" to my beta, **cecelle**, who was invaluable this chapter. I had a heck of a time getting Draco into character enough, and though she still thinks he's a bit too much, I wanted to address readers' comments that Draco didn't react enough to what he overheard. So, this is for you, dear readers. Hope it was worth the wait!

_Chapter 33_

_Secrets Surfacing & Tables Turning_

After Severus had ushered Andrew from the room, Draco bit the inside of his lip, realizing now that he had been overeager to find out if Andrew really was his brother. If it had been true, how easy that would have made things! No matter what happened, it would be the two of them – together – against everything. Andrew would stand up to Lucius for Draco or at least shelter him from Lucius' wrath, and Andrew would share the burden of being a Malfoy heir. While his father had never hurt him physically, Draco was starting to realize that he had left a huge scar on him mentally. Emmaline's compassion and concern, though out of some maternal instinct which he didn't fully understand, stood in sharp contrast to Lucius' aloof condescension towards and barely-concealed disappointment in him.

He was even beginning to feel resentful towards his godfather. Severus had had ample opportunity over the years to do _something_, but he had chosen not to until recently. Draco wondered what had prompted him to include him now, albeit grudgingly, and could only conclude that Emmaline or Andrew must have insisted on his participation. Draco supposed he should envy Andrew for what little family the other boy did have, but he was still proud to be a Malfoy, even if not exactly proud of his father – not anymore. Also, Emmaline still liked him, still treated him as something akin to a son. Even after all his father had done to her – taken from her – she was still kind to him.

However, something about the whole ordeal didn't make sense. Lucius could have anyone he wanted – even now. Why, then, did he pursue Emmaline? Draco had seen many beautiful women, even in his short lifetime, and she was not one of them. Yet, he understood what Severus saw in her. Unlike many people, she was a pleasure to be around – at least, if you were on her good side. Also, she was intelligent and oftentimes funny. Draco knew that he wouldn't mind seeing her everyday and would miss her if he couldn't. Was that love? He decided that he didn't know, but would file the feeling under – no, not friendship, it felt different than that; well, he supposed he felt genuine affection for her.

Emerging from his musings, Draco watched as Emmaline sat across the table from him. She seemed to be in a state of shock. He despaired of knowing what to do in these sorts of situations – when a woman was a complete mess. Feeling more uncomfortable by the moment, he ventured to warily say, "I…I'm sorry. What my father did to you – I'm sorry…" He couldn't fathom treating a woman the way Lucius had treated her. Frowning, he continued, speaking in a soft tone. "Although, it would have been nice to have a brother…I _am_ grateful that Lucius doesn't have someone else to order about."

With red-rimmed eyes, she focused on him, and almost immediately, he wished he had just kept silent and let her continue staring through him. "You don't have to do a thing Lucius says," she reminded him adamantly. More softly, she added, "You may not have gained a brother, but I'm pretty sure you haven't lost a friend either. And for Merlin's sake, you don't have to apologize. In fact, you shouldn't ever apologize for Lucius." Exasperatedly, she added more to herself, "You'd be spending the rest of your life on that task – and he isn't worth it."

"I guess not," Draco agreed, although reluctantly and with not a little regret. His faith and vision of his father as a noble figure had been eroding over the years – little by little – and now it had lost so much of its integrity… He felt as if he was beginning to see the real person underneath the glamour of his illusions.

Draco couldn't stand the compassionate look she gave him, so he looked down at his hands, which were lying placidly in his lap. He normally loved any attention she gave to him, but he was currently horrified by what his father had done to her and was having trouble reconciling it with the man he knew – the man who had raised him.

He suddenly felt an arm around his shoulders, and Emmaline's arms encircled him as she pulled him into a firm hug – his shoulder against her collarbone. He was being hugged, really hugged – not like the embraces his mother gave him where she grasped his shoulders and pulled him close, but not actually close enough to touch him.

"Oh Draco…" she sighed. "I don't mean to put your father in such a bad light, but –" he felt her shake her head slightly, " – I'm afraid it's the only light I've ever seen him in." After a brief pause she said softly, "There are times when I wonder what would have happened had I stayed. I might not have been officially your godmother, but I would have been there for you – I'm sure of it." She sighed regretfully and pulled away slowly. Kneeling down farther, she caught his eye, and he couldn't tear his gaze away. Tears gathered in her eyes and fell unheeded down her cheek. "But we can't go back. We can't change time." She squeezed his shoulder affectionately. "While it perhaps was a tragic decision that I made – to leave – it was done for the _right_ reasons. And I am here for you now."

He didn't know what compelled him then, but he pitched forward to cling to her in a desperate hug. "I hate that he hurt you," he whispered. Somewhere deep inside, he was afraid she would let go if he made too much movement or sound.

Eventually, he pulled away from her, concealing his embarrassment by handing her his handkerchief, thus sufficiently distracting her.

"I hate it, too," she finally replied. "But now I know for a fact that my deepest fear cannot be true – and I have you to thank for that." She touched his arm momentarily, then straightened up. "Now, I want to know more about something you mentioned earlier – about an _inferior_ school?" Draco shrunk down in his chair a little. "Do you really think that Andrew was unprepared for Hogwarts?"

Draco relaxed marginally when he realized that she was just worried about her son again. Absently, he wondered if maternal worry ever diminished. Shaking his head, Draco answered, "What Andrew told me of _Richmond Public_, I think he learned most of what he knows on his own."

"You're probably right," she agreed, much to his surprise. "Things are very different in the States. In a way, I'm glad Andrew got the opportunity to attend a British boarding school…"

Draco waited for her to continue, but she did not. He assumed that she was lost in her own thoughts. "Emmaline?" he asked after a while.

"Hmm?"

He swallowed nervously. What he _wanted_ to say was really sappy, and Malfoys were never sappy. However, he knew it would please her, and the Slytherin in him urged him to stay firmly on her good side. "I…Andrew _is_ my best friend, and I've never really had a good friend before. I didn't know how to _be_ a good friend until he showed me. So…I'm glad Andrew came here, too."

Emmaline laughed, but instead of it being his worst fear – laughing because he was a poncy sap – she understandingly exclaimed, "Well, of course you are!" She glanced at Severus' door before saying lightly, "While we wait for those two, you should try on the spell-repellant clothing I've brought for you."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
In Emmaline's room, she erected a room divider with her wand. Pointing at the divider, she handed Draco a pile of black clothing. "Those go under your robes." Then she plopped down onto the bed, grabbed up her book, and commenced reading. Once behind the divider, he had some trouble with the tight-fitting garments; they seemed to be made to conform to one's body. Finally, with much tugging, he was satisfied that they were on correctly. Donning his robe, he stepped out from behind the divider.

"How do they fit?" she asked, looking up from her book.

"Bit tight," he replied, testing the fabric by stretching this way and that.

"Hmm…" She marked her place, then looked up at him, clutching the book in her lap.

"Turn around," she instructed. After he made a graceful twirl, she pronounced it undetectable. "Now, sit down." When he stared at her curiously, she added, "We need to talk." She sighed as Draco perched nervously next to her. "Here, let me read you something," she said, opening her book and turning fast through the pages. If Severus wouldn't do what needed to be done – completely turning him away from Lucius' teachings – she would.

Finding the right passage in the book, she recited, "'A single gentle rain makes the grass many shades greener. So our prospects brighten on the influx of better thoughts. We should be blessed if we lived in the present always, and took advantage of every accident that befell us, like the grass which confesses the influence of the slightest dew that falls on it; and did not spend our time in atoning for the neglect of past opportunities, which we call doing our duty. We loiter in winter while it is already spring. In a pleasant spring morning all men's sins are forgiven.' It's from _Walden_ by Henry David Thoreau."

"What does it mean?" asked Draco, clearly confused by the rambling prose.

She smiled beneficently at him. "Thoreau is just saying that we can learn from our mistakes, and that each new lesson provides a new beginning for each of us if we choose to incorporate those lessons into our daily lives." Noting his frown, Emmaline explained, using a real world example. "You've been taught by your father that condescension and arrogance were admirable traits in a person. Through your experiences and…hearing of others' experiences – do you think your father is right?"

"It…it works for him."

"Does it?" she inquired, eyebrow raised.

Draco nodded slowly. "But – " He sighed. "I don't know. I think he's not as great a person as I always thought," he admitted quietly.

"And you think this because of – "

" – What he did to you," he interrupted, though he refused to meet her eyes.

Taking his hand in hers, she squeezed lightly until she got him to look up at her. "That's all in the past, and while I _will_ make Lucius regret his actions, it has absolutely _nothing_ to do with you – or with Andrew. Do you understand me?" They sat in silence for a full minute.

"Draco, this is your chance…I am giving you this chance to start new, to grow from your experiences and to learn from the mistakes of others. I promise to stand by you – no matter what may come – if you choose to leave your father's teachings behind."

"I don't know anything else…" he whispered, a quiet tremor in his voice.

As if calming a nervous animal, she intoned soothingly, "Then let me teach you…" She left off as Draco jumped up. Sensing he had a lot on his mind, she let him pace.

He clenched his hands into fists at his side and glanced furtively around. "You…you ­_pretend_," he spat, "to _like_ me, but you really don't!" Stunned, she sat there as he began to become even more frustrated and irate. "You treat me like I'm your nephew or some part of your family, but _I'm not! _What if you just made up that story about Lucius? You could have!" he accused. "You want to get me away from him! You're using me to get back at him! You think he's a bad influence, but he's taught me a lot…!"

"Yes, he probably did" began Emmaline, her speech clipped and precise, "but what I'm _trying_ to tell you is that he taught you how to be a pureblooded aristocrat. Except for Voldemort, who exploits - and therefore encourages - such prejudices, the world no longer tolerates those attitudes and behaviors. Their time has passed."

Draco seemed to cool down a little as he took this in. "There are some pureblood values that are beneficial to wizarding society. Muggleborns these days don't even bother with proper wizarding customs…" he grumbled.

"Yes, and while ignorance is no excuse, no one is doing much to educate them about wizarding customs, either…"

"Right! But we shouldn't have to! They should want to learn! And we shouldn't have to shoulder the burden of teaching them!"

"Then how can you expect them to be participating citizens of wizarding society?"

With much venom, Draco nodded, "Exactly."

Emmaline sighed and threw up her hands. "I don't know how to get through to you. You see, it was always so clear to me that my stuck-up, money-grubbing relatives – while greatly revered by the rest of the wizarding world – left much to be desired in their treatment of others. Not just those who didn't have pureblood status or money or both. But _me_. Okay? They weren't pleasant to _me_." Draco flinched at the bitterness in her voice, but he did not concede defeat. "I was a trophy. The only progeny of the eldest son…a prize worth bidding high for… I can't tell you how pathetic it was to watch otherwise normal people practically throw their sons at me _and_ my parents. Though it seemed like I had a choice, it was _not_ a choice. I was to be married off to the highest bidder – end of story. Just be glad you weren't born a girl." Emmaline crossed her arms huffily.

Narrowing his eyes, Draco responded, "At least then I wouldn't have to live up to my father's high standards. I could just sit back," he shrugged tensely, "and let him marry me off."

Emmaline laughed, but it sounded bitter and cold this time. "I certainly don't wish a daughter on you."

"I won't be like him!" Draco spat venomously. "I will _not_ be like him! But it doesn't matter!" he yelled, kicking the heavy wooden door so that it bounced off the stone wall. "It doesn't matter!" He turned narrowed eyes at Emmaline. "I'll end up driving everyone away so it doesn't matterif_ no one cares about me!" _The silence rung in their ears after his tirade ended, broken only by Draco gasping for air.

"Deep breaths, Draco," Emmaline urged him gently, glad that they were finally getting to the root of his problems. She knew he wasn't really mad at her. The illusion of the man who was his father had been shattered and the man who now stood in his place was a harsh reality. After his breathing evened out and he collapsed weakly to the floor, she joined him there. "Who are you really mad at?"

A choked sob, muffled by hands over his face, was her only answer until a broken voice muttered, "L-Lucius…my mum…_me_…" He suddenly dropped his hands and, eyes glinting, went on more forcefully, his voice dark and bitter. "Andrew with his love letters, Potter with his posse of friends, S-Severus…" He ended on another sob and buried his head in his hands again.

Emmaline took the handkerchief he had given her earlier and dampened it with a quick spell. "Here," she murmured, moving his hands away and holding it to his face. He grabbed onto it, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes and breathing deeply to stave off the tears. Once he seemed calmer, she addressed him, though he would not look at her. "It's okay to be upset with all those people – even yourself. But you _especially _shouldn't take it out on _yourself_." He nodded slowly. "I want you to think about why you are mad at each person – as calmly and as rationally as you can." Soothingly, she continued, "After you think about each one, I want you to imagine all the tension and the stress that accompanies your anger flowing out – draining from you like from a faucet – out from your fingertips. Alright?" He nodded more confidently.

She waited while he screwed up his face in concentration. It went through bitter anger, righteous anger, heartache, regret, and resignation before a calm descended on him. Then the cycle of emotions started again. Emmaline felt like she could easily understand his emotional state, even if she had never been very angsty as a teen. The past few days certainly made up for the lack in her pubescent years. Finally, he opened his eyes and stared ahead, a quiet longing the only emotion left on his face. "I – I'm sor –" He was cut off abruptly when her hand clamped over his mouth.

"Stop apologizing. For everything," she said quietly. She removed her hand when he nodded slowly.

"I –" Draco frowned as he found himself trying to apologize again. Instead, he said, "I am glad you're here, too. I had no idea…Severus could be _not_ cranky." His crooked smile made her want to hug him, but she felt she should not be encouraging his tempers.

"So – can we work together? Figure out a way for you to be a better person but still be yourself, too?" she asked.

A nonchalant shrug was followed by a small smile. "Yeah. I'd like that."

Emmaline smiled brilliantly at him and pulled him into brief but firm hug. "I am proud of you," she murmured.

Draco looked at her dazzling smile and slowly returned it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Severus couldn't help his frown. He knew now that Andrew was _not_ Lucius' child (_thank Merlin!)_, and he was overwhelmingly relieved about that. However, there was now the question of…well, he could be… Severus could not bring himself to even think it.

He could be the biological father.

Certainly he wasn't a _real_ father. Real fathers were there for their children, instilled in them moral values, and were role models. His own father excluded, of course. Oh, and Emmaline's too. Not to mention that he knew personally of quite a few fathers who had failed spectacularly in raising their children – Lucius being only one. But he couldn't really count Draco as a failure, could he? Perhaps he should just say that Draco turned out well enough despite Lucius' attempts to completely corrupt, spoil, and mold his progeny.

When he had finished rinsing Andrew's hand under cold water, he riffled around in a small cabinet next to the sink. He finally found the red container of burn salve.

"This is for magical burns," he announced, opening the lid. "Although I put them in differently colored containers, they can be told apart by the smell as well as texture."

Reverting back to his teaching demeanor helped; his thoughts were not in such turmoil when he focused on teaching. "What did you notice about the physical burn salve?"

"It smelled of aloe," Andrew answered after a short pause.

"Correct. And this one?" Severus asked as he applied the new salve in a thin, but not sparing, layer over the affected skin.

Andrew sniffed. "Rose oil?"

"And why is that?"

"I…I would guess that it has to do with the significance of the rose and not with the properties of the rose itself."

Severus grinned like an old fox who was watching its young bring down fast prey. "What led you to that conclusion?"

"Because it's a magical burn – induced through the application of spells or curses. Aloe is a physical burn cure that even Muggles utilize. Since a physical burn requires a physical cure, logically a magical burn would need a magical cure. I suppose the rose oil signifies the willingness to heal – not necessarily physical wounds but more…well, like strife or discord between two people.."

Severus finished applying the new wrappings and grasped Andrew's hand. "That is it exactly," he nearly whispered. In response, he got a tentative grin from the lad. Blinking quickly, he ordered, "Come. I have something to show you." He led the way back into the bedroom and motioned for Andrew to sit on the bed. Quickly, he turned around to his dresser and surreptitiously wiped at his eyes. "I believe we can shed further light on the question…you and Draco were trying to answer…" He spoke carefully as he rummaged in a small box on top of the dresser. Turning around, he held a man's ring with a large signet adorning it between his index finger and thumb. The letter engraved amongst scrollwork was a rather plain "P."

Andrew gulped and then looked up into Severus' eyes.

"This time, I would advise you to keep your hand loose, so that if it does burn, you will be able to drop it quickly."

Andrew nodded, but added, "It was a dagger, sir. I wasn't too keen on dropping it on my foot."

"A dagger!" Severus exhaled. "Fool! Bloody fool giving his son a blood-cursed dagger!"

"Blood-cursed?" The boy added a quick "sir" after Severus glared at him, further making the man angry – but this time at himself. He didn't mean to direct his anger and frustration at Draco – no, at _Lucius_ – towards the young man who might be his son.

Taking a deep breath, he explained, "A blood-cursed object can only be touched by someone whose veins run with the blood to which it is keyed. A dagger would be especially deadly if used on someone whose blood is not keyed to the object." Severus noticed the dawning look of comprehension on the boy's face.

"Do you think Lucius intended Draco to…_use it_?" He appeared horrified at the prospect – of which Severus was glad – but looked as if he was about to jump up and confront Draco about it.

"I do not know. But it is Draco's choice what he does with it, is it not?"

Andrew only nodded quietly, clearly still playing over scenarios in his mind. To distract him, Severus informed him, "On three, I shall drop this ring into your hand. Just let it roll onto the floor as if you didn't want to touch it. In fact, I believe you have a good reason not to want to touch a blood-cursed object already." He glanced at the bandaged hand. "One – two – three - !" Severus watched almost in slow motion as the ring – his maternal grandfather's ring – left his hand and fell towards Andrew's. It landed there with a slight bounce until the boy's hand curled around it. Severus stared at Andrew's forehead as he forced out a question. "Does it hurt?"

Andrew shook his head slowly. "No," he said simply. Glancing up, he repeated, "No, it doesn't…Dad."


	35. Knowing is One Thing

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Boy, have I been busy! Unfortunately, it hasn't been writing this story. I wish it were! I'd like to get all of this out of my head and onto (electronic) paper, but it does take time… Thank you to all of my reviewers – those with positive and those with negative comments. Even if you don't like it, hopefully, I've made you think. I rather enjoy exploring the relationship between these people given each one's foibles and psychological states. I hope you do, too.

_Chapter 34_

_Knowing is One Thing…_

Emmaline left Draco in her room, his hands clutching the book tightly in his lap. He had requested some time alone to sort out his thoughts, and she didn't begrudge him the much needed solitude. Once she left thoughts of him behind, her concern for Andrew returned full force. Marching up to Severus' bedroom, she raised her hand to knock when the door opened from the inside.

"It's Mom," Andrew said as he stood in the doorway. His eyes searched her face - though for what, she did not know.

"Good," Severus' voice came from farther into the bedroom. She heard steps, then the door was opened wider to reveal him – and he, too, looked at her intently, as if he had never seen her before now. He gestured her in after a short while, closing the door behind her. "Sit," he ordered, adding in a more conciliatory tone when she shot him a contemptuous look, "There is something you need to know." He looked at Andrew, who in turn stared back. Some silent communication passed between them until Severus finally broke the silence. "Perhaps you should show your mother…"

Andrew nodded perfunctorily before pulling a man's ring out of his jeans' pocket.

Emmaline's mouth went dry as he approached, ring in hand. He held it out in front of him, between his thumb and forefinger. The closer he approached, the farther back she leaned. Gulping, she asked Severus, "Is that your mother's ring?" Emmaline briefly remembered her father's signet ring, an onyx embossed with a ornate white gold "E" surrounded by oak leaves. He never took it off; hence, her mother and her aunt by marriage respectfully and sometimes quite artfully avoided his right hand. She and her cousins, however, had not been affected by the ring – the Evesbury blood running resolutely in their veins. With a solemn nod, he answered, "Yes."

"Oh." The tiny word emitted from her mouth puzzled both Andrew and Severus. However, when she swayed dangerously a moment later, Severus rushed to hold her up while Andrew searched in vain for something with which to fan her. Despite her admonitions to Draco just minutes earlier, she began repeating "I'm sorry," over and over again until Severus pulled her to him in a tight hug and Andrew pressed himself into her arms so that she clung to him tenaciously.

* * *

When he heard Professor Snape muttering things like "We will get through this together, I promise" and "It is not your fault; I do not blame you", Andrew disentangled himself from his mom's grip. Meeting his dad's gaze, he indicated that he would leave them alone for a while. Professor Snape - Andrew thought the title "Dad" was still too new to remember to use all the time – said softly, "The salve I applied should heal the wound within twelve hours." Andrew nodded and left the room with only one last glance at his parents.

Parents. _His_ parents. Now that was a thought. A huge thought that threatened to swallow up his whole consciousness in what-ifs. He shook his head to refocus himself.

Andrew decided he really couldn't write to Persephone about this. He barely knew her, even if her letters made him feel as if she were a kindred soul. However much it might help to get his thoughts out on paper, he was sure that the fewer people who knew the truth, the better – because people like Lucius Malfoy might take advantage of it.

That meant that he also couldn't tell Draco. Merlin, there were so _many_ reasons he couldn't tell Draco, though he knew he couldn't keep Draco from guessing. Well, he'd let Draco come to his own conclusions, but he wouldn't confirm anything. He went over toward the tapestry, meaning to peek in to see if Draco was there, when he heard the rustle of pages from his mom's bedroom. Leaning against the door frame, Andrew crossed his arms and watched Draco for a few moments. When it appeared that the other boy was too engrossed, he cleared his throat. Draco's head jerked up, and he held the book he'd been reading like a shield over his chest. "Hey," Andrew said pleasantly. He tilted his head to read the book title and commented, "That's Mom's favorite book."

"She lent it to me," Draco said almost defensively.

Andrew noticed that Draco sounded a bit unsteady, like he'd been crying, but he didn't comment on it. "I thought we might go check on the Re'em. I'd like to know how it's recovered after the blood-letting we did this morning."

Draco smiled, albeit a bit crookedly. "That's a good idea," he agreed.

Andrew nodded. "Let's get our cloaks then," he said, as he turned around.

The two boys were ambling down the stairs from the staff quarters – the route being quicker to the front door than through the dungeons – when they met Potter and his friends at the top of the grand staircase that led down to the Great Hall. Andrew reflected later that everyone would probably have kept walking and gone on about their business had Draco not stopped abruptly and sneered at them. "Bloody ferret!" Ron mumbled under his breath.

"I heard that, Weasley!" Draco shouted

"Oh, yeah? And what are you going to do about it?" Ron taunted, drawing his wand.

Draco narrowed his eyes and folded his arms contemptuously. "Do you even know what to do with that, Weasel?"

"Shut up, Malfoy!" Ginny, too, had pulled out her wand and pointed it at Draco. Andrew looked back and forth between them. While he would keep his promise to back his best friend up no matter what, he was simply not in the mood for a duel. "Hey guys?" Ginny and Harry, at least, turned their attention toward him. "Can we just drop this and go on our way?" he asked, a touch of exasperation in his voice.

"He started it!" Ron gestured with his wand to Draco.

Andrew gave Draco a look that said _drop it_ _already._ Draco's brow furrowed for a moment, and the next thing he knew, Draco actually _looked_ at the Gryffindors – studied them. Andrew wondered at this and silently prayed that his friend had finally figured out that he had bigger enemies.

"Alright," Draco said, though his voice was a bit dark and tinged with dislike. He brushed past Andrew and stalked down the steps.

Andrew glanced at a gaping Ron. "Would you mind shelving the ferret joke for now? It's getting really old."

"Tell him to stop…_leering_ at me and calling me, urgh, _Weasel_, and maybe I will!" Ron retorted, surprising even himself with his concession at the end.

Ginny gave Andrew a rueful smile, while Harry added, "We'll try if he will."

"That's good enough for me," Andrew sighed thankfully.

"Oy! Logan!" Draco shouted from the bottom of the steps. "Get your arse down here!"

"See you guys!" Andrew smiled at them before traipsing down the steps. He nearly had to jog to keep up with his friend who was stalking across the entrance hall and out the front doors.Once they were outside, he ventured to talk to Draco, even though the other boy's face was as overcast as the sky above their heads.

"Glad we didn't have to duel."

"We could've taken them."

Andrew raised an eyebrow. He had worked with Harry, Ginny, Hermione, and Ron in the DA and knew they were more than a match for him and Draco. However, he only said, "Maybe, but I wasn't really feeling up to it what with everything that's gone on today."

Draco shot him a furtive look before admitting, "I forgot about that."

"Kinda hard to do – for me anyway."

Draco stopped abruptly and whirled to face him. "Oh, and I didn't have a hard time with picturing my father forcing your mum…" He gulped and fidgeted nervously. "It's not something I want to think about anyway," he offered in a softer tone while avoiding looking directly at Andrew.

"No, I doubt anyone does." Andrew tried to catch Draco's eye to no avail. "Draco, I don't blame you, you know. You have no control over what Lucius does…"  
"I know!" Draco shouted, clenching his fists at his side. "I barely have control over what I do – " He caught his breath, then spoke wonderingly, "But I_ do_ have control over what I do."

Andrew peered closely at his friend, hoping Draco wasn't having a breakdown, but his fears were unfounded as Draco turned and smiled at him. A real, big, genuine smile.

"Let's go check on the Re'em, then I want to finish that book."

"Okay," Andrew shrugged. He knew when to leave well enough alone.

* * *

Severus eased his grip as Emmaline tried to sit up. She clutched at her face and moaned.

Frowning, he asked, "What is wrong?"

"I need to wash my face," she answered in a small, embarrassed voice before jumping up and dashing into the bathroom. She quickly closed the door behind her lest he follow and attempt to help.

Sitting on his bed – in the middle of the afternoon, no less – Severus wondered if the last thirty minutes had been some odd waking dream. Then she emerged from the bathroom, her face red and eyes swollen – looking very much real.

"Don't look at me like that," she admonished flatly. The next moment she bemoaned, "I look frightful," whilst rubbing her face.

He approached her and grabbed her hands, stilling her movements. "That won't help."

She made a despairing noise, but quickly stopped when he kissed her forehead. Then he kissed her cheek and the curve of her jaw near her ear. He heard as well as felt an intake of breath on his neck. Pulling back, he looked into her eyes – not to use Legilimency, but to truly gauge her fragile state. "I have seen you cry before."

"That was when I was eighteen," she pointed out. "I'm thirty-six now with another birthday fast approaching…"

"I do not know what has led you to believe I've stopped enjoying your appearance," he interrupted. "I think you are as pretty now as I remember you then, with the exception of several—" he looked down briefly, "—assets having become more attractive."

Emmaline's mouth twitched at the corners, until she finally laughed.

He smiled back at her until her smile faltered. She started to move away, but he couldn't let her go just yet.

"Wait," he said, and hated how strangled his voice sounded. He pulled her closer, kissed her nose, buried one hand in her hair, kissed the corner of her lips, realized she wasn't resisting, and kissed her lips, over and over again.

"Severus…" she gasped in between kisses.

Afraid she would retreat, he held her more tightly and attempted to deepen the kisses. Moments of utter bliss where he completely lost himself flew by until he felt a gentle tug on his arms. Reluctantly, he ended the all-encompassing kiss. He did not let go, however, but gazed down at her.

Her eyes were shining as she looked up at him, and he squelched the urge to Legilimize her. It wasn't something you did to someone you trusted, and anyway, Andrew had said that his mother taught him Occlumency; she'd know how to Occlude as well.

Emmaline smiled at him and started laughing joyfully – a full-throated laugh that sent shivers down his spine. For his part, he only smiled back goofily at her. "Thank you, Severus," she said, and pulled him down for another kiss. This one was different, because she instigated it. He participated but did not lead this time. It was less demanding than his kiss and more soft. When she slipped her tongue between his lips, he automatically grasped her hips to him. Unfortunately, this caused her to break off the kiss and step away. Blushing prettily, she stood awkwardly in front of him.

He thought he should apologize, but his pride and his body were adamant that he not do so. So he stood rigidly, staring at her hungrily. She must have noticed his expression because she stammered, "I…I should go…" and scurried out of the room. Once the door was firmly closed behind her and her footsteps died away, he said strongly, "Damn!" After another moment's hesitation, he strode purposefully into the bathroom, intending to take a cold shower.

* * *

That evening everyone was a bit unsettled. Emmaline was avoiding Professor Snape, Draco was either making a concerted effort to approach everything with an open mind or was so lost in thought that he may as well not have been there, and Andrew was feeling as if ants were marching just under his skin and bees had created a hive in his brain. Even when he had attended elementary school with non-magical children, knowing he was different, or at Richmond Public School of Magic when the popular kids had ignored him except to ask for help with homework, he had always felt whole and thoroughly himself. Now, he was uncomfortable in his skin for the first time in his life.

They ended up eating in the Great Hall with the Gryffindors again. It was almost exponentially more awkward to introduce those people into the mix. When the headmaster sat at the head of the table and smiled at him and his parents knowingly, it was all Andrew could do to not jump up and run from the room. Instead, he settled on controlling his breathing, and it helped somewhat.

Later that night, he and Draco sat studying in their room.

"Listen to this," Draco implored him. He began reciting from the book he was reading. "'Shall a man go and hang himself because he belongs to the race of pygmies, and not be the biggest pygmy that he can?'"

Andrew knew immediately where that was from. "You still reading Mom's book?"

"Yeah." He paused. "It's interesting."

"I know," Andrew said, smiling down at his Transfiguration essay.

"Ooh, and this part – 'If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.'"

"That's a popular one."

"It is?" Draco asked skeptically.

"Yep, 'Step to the beat of your own drum' means to be yourself. Or if you say that someone 'steps to the beat of a different drummer,' you mean that they're a bit odd, but usually in a positive way." Andrew looked up. Shrugging nonchalantly, he said, "Thoreau was odd for his time, but some people took up his philosophy – it really embodies what being American means, in a way. Have you read 'Civil Disobedience' yet?"

Draco shook his head. "But it's in this copy."

Andrew grinned. "I think you'll like it," he said, and turned away to stifle a laugh. It would definitely give Draco something to think about!


	36. The Night Before

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Apologies for the delay. Work and the holidays kept me too busy to write and/or post. It takes an ice day to give me time to do either. Unfortunately, for the Gulf Coast, those are very rare. Much love to my beta, **cecelle**, who is almost finished with _Mist & Vapor_ (Yea! and at the same time -sob- ), and who probably has it worse than me up in the Pacific Northwest. So I shall not complain too much about black ice. Enjoy the chapter.

_Chapter 35_

_The Night Before_

Severus watched as Emmaline went to tell the boys goodnight. He thought the ritual a bit juvenile for the nearly grown young men to go through. However, he did not begrudge her the little things that held her life together. From the sound of it, it had only been Andrew, and later Katie and Kenneth, that had kept her sane for all the intervening years. Faint memories of his mother when he was Andrew's age threatened to surface, and for a while, he let them drift harmlessly outside the range of his consciousness. He remembered…her crying…for days on end, it seemed…his father…drunk…slinking away from her, which seemed to be worse to Severus than if he had hit her…his father pretending that she wasn't there most of the time…was neglect better or worse than abuse?

Sighing heavily, he began reordering his mind, calling on his years of Occlumency practice… He needed to test Andrew's Occlumency further before their visit to the Dark Lord tomorrow night. He wanted to forget about that, but try as he might, it loomed ever larger and more sinister each second. Before today, he might not have even classified the upcoming meeting as sinister at all. It would merely have been another piece of business to which he needed to attend. But being a parent put the situation in an entirely different light. The revelation _that_ he was a parent was not entirely surprising. He had begun to suspect something for a while, especially over the last week. It had been a possibility he hadn't been fully prepared to entertain, but he had assuaged his conscious mind by reminding himself that Emmaline would not have kept something that important from him.

He shook his head momentarily, silently amused at his naiveté. Women, he knew, had strange ways of thinking; most men would call it "crazy." While her explanation had been quite sound, he couldn't stop thinking that Emmaline should have attempted to contact him once the Dark Lord had fallen. She had even admitted to, at least subconsciously, knowing it was his child. He felt adrift in a sea of uncertainty with no anchor and no compass. How was he to hold onto his son, and Merlin help him, how was he to be a father?

* * *

Emmaline knocked smartly on the tapestry that led to the Head Boy's room. A muffled, "Come in!" from Andrew, and she peered into the room. "I wanted to say goodnight," she said, smiling at them. Draco looked up from his book and gave her a shy smile. Andrew merely bobbed his head over a long bit of parchment. With a slight frown, she walked over and leaned down to look at it. 

"Mom…it's a letter to Persephone," Andrew grumbled, bringing the parchment up to blow on it, thereby shielding it from his mother's view.

"I thought it might have been an essay," she responded lightly, "seeing as it's so long."

Draco smirked.

Emmaline didn't see Andrew roll his eyes but knew he was doing so anyway.

"I'm not telling her anything about today…well, not anything that we wouldn't want anyone else to know."

"I didn't think you were," she said archly. Sighing, she explained, "I was only teasing. I haven't got to tease you about a girl yet. Play along."

He finally looked up at her. "What do you want me to do? Whine? Throw a fit? Accuse you of butting in?"

Emmaline made a face. "You're no fun."

"He's entirely too serious," Draco added his two pence worth.Her face fell for a second, before she broke out into a teary smile. Leaning down to lightly kiss Andrew's hair, she whispered, "Just like his father." Straightening up, she saw Andrew grinning happily and was glad his back was toward Draco.

"And you," she said, turning to the blonde with hands on hips. At Draco's grumpy look, she said, "Don't stay up too late reading. You need your rest for tomorrow."

His face immediately fell. After a shaky breath, he quietly admitted, "I don't think I can go."

"I'm not sure you can get out of it," Andrew reminded him, but Emmaline shushed him with a wave of her hand.

Sitting down on Draco's bed so that she faced him, Emmaline gently placed a hand on his leg. He looked pitiful with a long face and baleful eyes. "You won't be alone…"

"Yeah!" Andrew interrupted.

She shot him a dark look then turned back to Draco.

"I know," he mumbled. "It's just…Luciusmaybethere."

Peering closely as she repeated the words in her head, she finally figured out what he had said. With a determined look in her eye, she reassured him, "I promise I won't let him have a say in your future." Shaking her head firmly, she spoke as if promising herself, "I won't let him."

"Mom…"  
"How?"

Emmaline looked over at her son and then back to Draco. "You two have to promise me something."

"What?" asked Andrew.

"Anything," Draco responded.

"You can't tell Severus what I'm planning," Emmaline cautioned.

"What are you planning?"

"…Okay."

"Draco!"

"What?"

"You can't make a promise without knowing what you're promising!" Andrew retorted indignantly.

"I don't care. And, anyway, I trust your mum. Don't you?"

Emmaline surreptitiously placed an Imperturbable Charm on the door to Severus' quarters. "I'm going with you guys tomorrow night."

"No!"

"You are?"

"Yes. I'm going to stand for you, Draco."

The boy stared silently into her eyes for a few moments, gauging her sincerity. Finally, he simply said, "Thank you."

"Are you sure about this, Mom?"

At the sound of Andrew's voice, she turned toward him. "Yes," she nodded. "And Severus will stand for you, Andrew."

"Oh. Is that…okay?"

Smiling, she replied, "It will be." As she got up, she bent and kissed Draco on the head. "Now, you both should get some sleep…" She kissed Andrew again. "Though I'll probably make you take a nap tomorrow afternoon, since the ceremony begins at midnight…" She stood at the door and looked back at them. Draco looked solemn while Andrew seemed worried. "Don't worry about me. Worry about school and girls, because I promise you, those will still be there after tomorrow night."

Draco smiled slightly at that, but Andrew's expression did not budge.

"Sleep well. If you need me, don't hesitate to come get me." With that, she lifted the spell on the door and left. They were nearly grown men, after all, and could take care of themselves. Mostly.

* * *

Emmaline stepped back into the room, and Severus' next thought was _And dammit, how am I going to convince her to join me in my bed?_ Truthfully, it had been on his mind throughout the afternoon and dinner. He had been only mildly uncomfortable at the dinner table, ignoring the insipid Gryffindors as best he could. It had helped that even Andrew, who was normally very friendly with them, had kept to himself. In fact, the boy seemed quite introspective, and Severus knew he had a reason to be. Then, Albus entered the Great Hall and twinkled knowingly at him. He had subconsciously reached for Emmaline's knee, wanting a familiar reassurance, but luckily remembered just in time that Draco was sitting in between them. He had only locked eyes with the headmaster for a split second, but he knew it was ample time for the old man to have gleaned enough about Severus' day. 

He jerked his head up at a light touch on his arm. Emmaline stood before him, smiling slightly.

"You shouldn't stand out here brooding all night," she gently admonished him.

"No," he sighed. After a pause, he added, "There is much to think about." Observing her solemn nod, he felt compelled to ask, "Should you be alone tonight?" Instantly, he tried to amend his question, "That is, with all that has happened today...well, one would think you should have company…"

This time her smile was reflected in her eyes. "I'll be okay." Then, the devil of a woman smirked at him. _Smirked!_ If he hadn't wanted to alienate her, he would have lashed out with a scathing rebuke. Instead, he had to settle for a Very Black Look. Unfortunately, it did not have the same effect on her as it did most people.

"I wonder…" she murmured.

"What?" he asked sharply after she failed to continue.

Shaking her head, she clarified, "I just wonder how many mannerisms Andrew might pick up from you. He could stand to learn one or two of your patented glares, I think."

Nearly growling, he took a step closer to her, bringing them to within an inch of each other, and glared down at her. "Andrew," he ground out, "will **_not_** end up anything like me!" He softened only slightly when she frowned.

"Not everything about you is a character flaw, you know," she observed.

"Hmph," was Severus' inarticulate reply as he paced away.

* * *

Emmaline was lying in bed, trying to still her racing mind so that she could go to sleep. It seemed incredulous to her that so much had happened in so short a time. All the things that had come out during the day…all the things that had happened in the States…all the things that had happened since she had come to England… 

When she noticed the tall, dark figure in her doorway, she was not surprised in the least. "Can you not sleep?" she asked him softly.

After a moment's hesitation, he replied, "No," in a defeated voice.

She sighed as he cautiously approached her bed. As he sat down on the edge, she turned to face him. "Right now, I'm not sure I'll ever sleep again." She could imagine his smirk.

"I have had many nights where I have thought the same thing."

"Oh?"

He turned slowly to face her, and she heard the smirk in his voice this time. "Of course, I didn't have anyone to commiserate with at the time," he confided.

She couldn't help the smirk on her face this time. "I see," she replied knowingly. Then with a sigh of frustration, she changed tack. "I've told the boys to come get me if they need me. I don't think…"

"They are nearly adults," he responded, lifting the covers and climbing in bed beside her.

With a great sigh, she folded her arms over the duvet. "Yes, I suppose they are," she admitted reluctantly.

Severus lay quietly next to her for so long that she thought he must have fallen asleep. When he spoke, she could tell he was pulling words out as if it was hard to do so, as if he was scared to do so. "I have always had a healthy dose of fear when going before the Dark Lord. After all, it is only natural to feel fear as a part of self-preservation. That is one reason man has always feared the dark. We can't see what is around us; we imagine terrible things lurking nearby, and the fear of the unknown puts us in high alert." He paused, and Emmaline kept silent, giving him time to chase his thoughts. "Tomorrow, not only will I be going before the Dark Lord, but my godson and my – son – will be going with me."

Emmaline nodded to herself. She had spent nearly eighteen years as a worrying parent.

"I have seen Hogwarts students be inducted," he continued. "I was one of them myself. But I cannot fathom how I am going to get through tomorrow night." On the last sentence, his voice warbled for the first time during his musing.

Emmaline found one of his hands with her own and squeezed tightly. "I know. And I know that you will get through it." Turning to lay on her side, she brought her face close enough in the dim light to see his lips pressed closely together and his eyes staring up at the ceiling. "You are as prepared as you ever will be – "

"No, Draco – He needs to master Occlumency. He's worse than Potter…"

Stroking his upper arm soothingly, she asked, "You've been teaching Harry how to Occlude?"

Severus frowned. "I've been trying to; he's finally managed to do well enough that Albus has taken over his training."

"And you haven't had time for Draco."

In an almost anguished voice, he replied, "No."

"I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"You cannot teach him in a day…"

"No, I agree, but a foundation can be started, and if it's a strong one, he'll be okay. For one night, he'll be okay."

He released a breath, and she began stroking his face in an effort to help him relax. "I hope so," he whispered, clearly tortured by his inaction towards his godson. Emmaline continued to caress his face, neck, shoulders, and chest until he grabbed her hand and held it still and fast to him. They lay awake for a while, listening to each others' breathing and heartbeats until finally they slipped into sleep together.

* * *

"Mom!" Andrew poked his head in the door to his mom's room. "I – " He blinked a few times as he took in the sight of his parents in bed together. First, he noticed that his dad's arms were around his mom. Second, he noticed that they still had nightclothes on. Third, he noticed that he was still standing in the doorway. Withdrawing quietly, he shut the door as soundlessly as possible. 

"Is she awake?" asked Draco, startling him.

"What?" He turned around quickly, his back now to the door. "Oh, yeah, they're – um, yeah, she's…well, she's still asleep. I don't think we should wake her," he finished, shaking his head emphatically.

Draco looked at him with a questioning expression. "Are you sure she's alright?" he asked, gesturing toward the door.

"Yes," Andrew nodded. He kept nodding while striding into their bedroom determinedly. Emerging with their cloaks, he stated, "We should go check on the Re'em." He threw Draco's cloak at him and walked out the door without a further word.

Andrew was walking so fast that it wasn't until he was almost to Hagrid's hut that Draco caught up with him.

"Hey, what's with you this morning?"

"Nothing," Andrew replied tersely.

"Not nothing. Are you worried about tonight?"

Andrew stopped so suddenly that Draco had to walk back to him. "Yeah, but…this is…something else." Draco frowned. "Then what's wrong?"

Andrew glanced furtively at Draco. "I – I can't tell you."

Draco's brow furrowed. "I thought we told each other everything."

"We never agreed to that!"

"Well," Draco drawled as he looked around, deliberately stalling for effect. "We didn't do so _explicitly_…"

"Oh, so like you're going to tell me everything Lucius put you through?"

Draco blanched slightly. "No," he replied shortly. "Going forward though…"

"Yeah, it's a good idea," Andrew admitted. He and Draco shared a look. "But I can't tell you…"

Draco's exasperated growl made Andrew feel sorry for the other boy, but there were still some secrets that needed to be kept. "Look, I can't tell you, because it's not my place to tell," he said forcefully. In a more considerate tone, he added, "Mom will tell you if she thinks you should know. Okay?"

Draco rolled his eyes. "Let's just check on the Re'em."

"Okay," Andrew replied softly as he watched Draco stroll away from him.


	37. The Day Of

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

**Alert! **

**Make sure you read the last chapter! **

**There were fewer hits than usual and no reviews so maybe you haven't read it! **

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ Real-life has finally given me enough of a break that I have this chapter finished and am ready to post it up for you, my loyal readers. My beta, **cecelle**, helped me greatly with this chapter. I am not and do not know a depressed person, but for some reason, I wrote Emmaline as one. **Cecelle** has helped me keep Emmaline in character and helped make this a more believable story.

_Chapter 36_

_The Day Of_

Severus woke reluctantly. He felt so warm, so content. Sighing, he pressed back into the wonderfully soft pillow, tilting his head slightly. His overly large nose came into contact with someone else's hair. It smelled good. Clean and, after a deeper sniff, a musky warmth – the scent of the natural oils secreted by the human body. In his sleepy awareness something clicked. Emmaline. After further exploration, he determined that she was wrapped up in his arms. He thought back to last night and only remembered clutching her hand to him in a desperate attempt not to break down. In the early light of morning, he mentally rolled his eyes at his own weakness. Damn two a.m. vulnerabilities.

Moving his feet, he determined that she had draped one of her legs over his. How did they get tangled up like this? He was pretty sure he still had on all the clothes he put on before bed last night. He knew he still had on socks. Well. That was it then. He hated sex with socks on, therefore nothing had happened. Well. Thank God then, because he didn't remember anything.

But…well, damn. There it was – his morning _wood_. And her closeness, the pressure of her body against his, and her _smell_ – it wasn't helping. Well, not in the way he wanted it to help. Wait, what did he want?

Emmaline stretched and reached up to plant a kiss on his cheek. "Mornin'," she greeted him sleepily, and rather than be cross about her crude greeting, he found it to be rather endearing. Certainly his hard-on was interested. Damn.

So he returned the greeting. "I am rather glad you didn't include the "good" in the greeting, as I can't see that there's anything good about it," he groused.

Emmaline's head whipped up, and her eyes grew comically large. "Severus!"

Frowning, he asked suspiciously, "Who else did you expect to be cuddling with at Hogwarts?"

"I – I didn't realize…" she gaped. "I, um, thought you were…well," she hedged. "I totally forgot when and where I am."

He frowned more deeply when he thought of whom she could be referring to – that accountant bloke, he supposed. He thought of reminding her exactly who she was in bed with by kissing her thoroughly. Morning breath aside, he decided not to, if only because of her reaction to his kisses yesterday.

She made a show of looking around. "Sure doesn't look like my house, does it?"

Was she deliberately reminding him of the one other night that they had spent together? Quirking one eyebrow, he noted, "I do believe we only slept that night, too." Disgusted with himself for his incessant need for her and fed up with her mixed signals, he shoved off the bed covers and got up. He hobbled stiffly to the door, but paused with his hand on the knob when she spoke.  
Despondently, she spoke, "I'm not doing a good job of letting you know what I want."

"Do you know what you want?" he asked, thinking he already knew the answer.

"Yes," she answered softly, and surprised, he turned his head toward her. She continued, " – but I'm afraid that I can't have it…"

For the first time since he had known her, he looked at her with pity, seeing a damaged and lonely woman. The words she spoke were eerily similar to ones he had uttered to Albus Dumbledore on that still and clear night – the night he had sought refuge. "Then you will never have it," he said, his voice heavy with sadness and experience. His shoulders sagging, he – forsaken and broken, too – shuffled out the door and into his own room.

* * *

They had fed the Re'em, and Andrew had been ready to go back to the castle, but Draco insisted on grooming the small creature before they left. Apparently, it was the least they could do if they were going to draw its blood for the rest of its life. Andrew had conceded more because he had sympathy for Draco than that he agreed with him. He knew taking care of the Re'em was therapeutic for his friend, and he also knew that he wouldn't spare Draco anything that would help him heal if he could. So they sat in the little shed behind Hagrid's hut while Draco brushed the baby Re'em's fur, turning it to a shiny gold.

Andrew stared at the Re'em's coat until he went cross-eyed. "You know how in Rumpelstiltskin, he spun straw into gold?" Draco looked up at him inquiringly. "I bet you that it looked like this little guy's fur."

"Possibly," Draco answered. He turned the creature around so he could start on the other side.

Andrew sighed and rested his chin on his hands. He was a bit bored, but he didn't want to think. There were way too many things to think about, and none of them that he _wanted_ to think about –

"I've been thinking," Draco said. "Thoreau says that people create a government so that it can accomplish their goals. But that in doing so, they create this entity and, instead of the government serving them, they end up serving the government." His movements with the brush stilled, and he looked up earnestly at his friend. "Remind you of someone?" he asked softly.

"Voldemort," Andrew answered matter-of-factly.

"Yeah," Draco said, dropping his eyes back to his lap. He fingered the Re'em's ear, feeling its softness. "So, instead of the purebloods using," he took a deep breath, "his regime to further their cause, they're being pressed into service to serve his needs."

Andrew frowned. "You really need to learn to say his name without hyperventilating."

"I – I know, but since I can't even think it without hyperventilating, let's just drop that for now," Draco pleaded with just a touch of exasperation.

"Okay," Andrew readily agreed.

"What I wonder is how I'm going to get through tonight if this is what I feel? If this is what I'm thinking when I'm standing in front of him?" Draco asked, his voice rising anxiously. By now, he had tensed up so much that the Re'em was starting to protest. Andrew scooped it up and cradled it to his chest, pulling his cloak over the little guy to keep him warm.

"Don't say anything to him about it. Stick with "yes sir" and "no sir" – stuff like that."

"You don't understand," Draco stated flatly. "He's a very powerful Legilimens. Severus told me. He tried to teach me Occlumency, but – "

"Wait, Voldemort's a Legilimens?" Andrew asked, starting to become alarmed.

Draco nodded solemnly. "Yes."

Andrew stopped bouncing the Re'em and placed him back in his nest. The creature seemed content to burrow under the scraps of cloth, so Andrew stood up and pulled Draco to his feet. "Come on, we've got to talk to Mom."

* * *

They opened the tapestry to Professor Snape's sitting room, and Andrew walked over to his mother's room where he found her huddled in the middle of the bed. She had dressed, and it looked like she had attempted to make up the bed before breaking down and gathering all the loose linens to her chest. She was rocking back and forth slowly and as Andrew bent down to pry her hands away from the covers, he noticed that her face was wet with tears that were already drying.

"What's wrong with her?" Andrew looked up to see Draco frozen in the doorway, his face a tumult of revulsion, confusion, and hopelessness.

"Come here and help me," Andrew ordered, not caring what Draco's feelings were on the matter. Right now he needed help, and his mom had a soft spot for Draco. When the other boy hesitantly approached the other side of the bed, Andrew instructed him, "Help me get her up." Draco pushed while he pulled; then Andrew tugged at the sheets until Draco caught on and grasped at Emmaline's hands. That task accomplished, the next step was to calm her down. "Mom?" whispered Andrew, pushing her hair back from her face. Draco imitated him on the other side, taking care to remove the strands that were stuck to her cheek from the tears. "We're here. Draco and I are here." He shared a look with the other boy. "We're not going anywhere. Do you hear me?" He waited until his mother nodded slightly. "We're going to stay until you feel better." She sighed wetly and laid her head against his shoulder. "The Re'em is doing well. Draco is even grooming him. I think the little guy recognizes Draco more than me. Hagrid thinks it's a miracle they're getting along so well." Andrew nearly chuckled when Draco stuck his tongue out at him. He continued stroking his mom's back while Draco smoothed her hair. "And we're going to take the potion before we go tonight, so we'll be back in one piece – one whole piece – I promise."

When his mom finally spoke, her voice was scratchy and harsh. "That's not it."

"What's wrong then?" he asked slowly and soothingly.

She shook her head jerkily. "Same thing," she answered tersely.

"Same thing?" Andrew asked back. His brow furrowed as he thought. "You mean…you're sad over the same thing you're usually sad about?"

A nod. A sigh. "Yes," she sniffled.

"Dad," Andrew breathed.

"What?" asked Draco.

Shaking his head in disbelief, Andrew looked at Draco. "Stay with her for a bit, alright?" When Draco looked panicked, he added, "Just keep talking to her." Andrew's face as he stalked out of the door was grim.

Emmaline sniffed wetly and lifted her sleeve to her nose.

"Hey!" Draco exclaimed. At her startled look, he said more softly, "Hey… Here, use this." Pulling out his handkerchief he offered it to her. When she gingerly took it from him, he rubbed her shoulder. When she kept sniffling and did not react to his touch, he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into his arms as she had done for him so many times since they had met. And that hadn't been that long ago. Feeling lost, Draco clung to the one hope that Andrew had left him – talking.

"I really do like the Re'em. He's cute," Draco admitted, smiling to himself. "Thank you so much for getting him." When she didn't acknowledge that statement, he plunged on, "Anyway, I wanted to tell you what I learned from the book you gave me. I've been reading _Civil Disobedience_. It's…revolutionary. I mean, it seems like the other side of the coin to – the Dark Lord – but I'm not sure shaking things up so drastically is necessarily the _best_ thing." He paused when she sniffed, but no other sounds were forthcoming. "I like the bit about people being inherently good, but becoming twisted because of, or in the name of, the government. It gives me hope, not just for myself, but also for my father." A soft whimper. "Yeah, I know – he's a womanizer, one of the worst kind. But he is my father…"

Emmaline clasped his hand and raised her head to look at him. "What else did you learn?"

Draco smiled lopsidedly at her. He realized that distraction was good for her, and that was what Andrew was trying for earlier. Continuing, he explained, "That if I'm not against them, then I'm with them. You have to _do_ something with your life – stand for something… Emmaline," he began seriously, "I need to know how to Occlude these thoughts from the Dark Lord. Severus has tried to teach me, but it hasn't gone really well," he admitted.

Blearily, Emmaline looked up at the young man holding her fast in his arms. He wasn't her Andrew, but she remembered that she felt as strongly about him as if he were her son. He looked so worried. He needed help. Whatever failings she had as a person, she was determined to be the best mother she could, even with this sometimes crippling sadness. He needed her to be strong. She closed her eyes gently and took a long, deep breath. Having worked through the pain before – to feed Andrew when he cried, to work a shift at the diner so she could make rent, to bake muffins for a Cub Scouts bake sale – she could do it again, as many times as necessary to help her son. This young, blond boy was nearly her son; she could be strong for him, too. She hiccoughed and then sighed loudly. Finally, she asked, "Tell me what you've learned so far so I know which gaps to fill in."

* * *

Severus looked up from his cauldron when the door to the lab was thrown open. He had been out of sorts this morning after talking with Emmaline – well, sniping at her if he was to be honest – and resorted to brewing as a method to restore his sanity. He was always very focused when creating a potion and nearly always found himself completely relaxed afterwards. So he was brewing when Andrew stormed into the lab.

"We need to talk," he stated. While Andrew waved the door closed and sent an Imperturbable Charm at it, Severus deftly stirred the contents of his cauldron while adding crushed laurel leaves.

"Indeed," he intoned. Ignoring as Andrew crossed his arms stubbornly, his wand still clutched tightly in his right hand, Severus peered into the cauldron to judge the hue of the concoction. He jumped up startled when Andrew nearly yelled, "Dad!" Severus swung around and glared at his progeny. "While I appreciate that you took the precaution of deterring any eavesdroppers, I do not think it appropriate that you should call me 'dad,'" he sneered. "Not only am I your professor, it was only established that you are my…" He cleared his throat. "A _relative_…yesterday!"

Rather than the shocked and hurt reaction he expected, Andrew instead returned the sarcasm with equal fervor. "Just so you know – I think it's great that you and Mom are _spending _time together. _However, _perhaps you ought to limit it to the _daytime_ hours." Andrew smirked as Severus paled at the implication that he knew they had spent the night together. It was one thing to think of the boy as nearly an adult and quite another to think of him as Emmaline's only son. They were close in a way he couldn't begin to fathom. The one thing he did understand was that Andrew would do anything for his mother – and vice versa. The boy's face hardened again. "I am starting to reconsider leaving her alone with you for _any_ amount of time when I come back to find her in a slump – " Andrew sighed in frustration at the incomprehension on his father's face. "That's what I call it when she goes on a crying jag brought on by her depression." More heatedly, he stated accusingly, "It's usually set off by _something._ Do _you_ know what it could have been?" Andrew waited, tense and on edge, for Severus' response.

Realization dawned on Severus, and it took him a moment to figure out that he couldn't be his normal caustic self around Emmaline – not now that she had told him her biggest secrets. She had made herself vulnerable, if only to his verbal assaults. Resting his head in his hand for a moment, he sighed wearily. When he looked up, Andrew's expression had changed to include a hint of concern. "I am in the midst of brewing the _Summa Curatio_ potion. Can you finish it for me?"

Andrew nodded warily.

"Good. I will go check on your mother." With a frown, Severus lifted the charm on the door and strode out the door. Once he was alone in the hallway, he found himself moving faster and faster until he was nearly running. _How could I have been so stupid!_ he chastised himself. _She doesn't need me belittling her! Damn it, Severus! You'll screw everything up again – and this time, there'll be no little family reunion twenty years down the road! _He stopped only at the door to his quarters and paused to catch his breath. He hadn't run so fast since trying to find Potter and his friends in the Forbidden Forest two years ago. Cautiously, he opened the door and stepped into his sitting room. He heard voices coming from Emmaline's room, so he stole to the doorway and stopped to listen.

"It's okay to use your emotion to control what the invading party sees," Emmaline was patiently explaining, though she sounded tired. "But you have to _control_ it. I don't think you could really rid yourself of emotion – not totally. You're a Slytherin, Draco. I know you know how to manipulate what people think. This type of Occlumency requires you to manipulate what people _see._ You'll show what you want the invading party to see at the same time making it what _they_ want to see." She sighed softly. "I know, it sounds confusing that way. Hmm…let me try explaining it a different way. If Voldemort invades your mind, you don't want him to see – "

"My thoughts about Thoreau," Draco interrupted.

"Right. No revolutionary thoughts then. What is it you want him to see?"

Draco paused for a bit before asking unsurely, "That I'm a loyal follower and totally believe in his cause?"

"Okay. But is that what he wants to see?" A pause. "How would you make him _believe_ it's what he wants to see?"

"I don't know." Draco sounded frustrated and a bit whiny.

"I'll tell you. The _emotion_ you put behind the thought is what will convince him. It's just acting, sweetheart. We all put on masks for each other – some are more elaborate than others – and this is just putting on a mask _inside your own thoughts._"

Draco sighed loudly.

"Don't worry. Severus and I don't expect you to be an expert by tonight. I just want you to think about how it's done and maybe what kind of construct you want to use."

"About that…I'm not sure what to use."

Emmaline sounded thoughtful as she said, "Andrew uses the Muggle library, of course – they have moving bookshelves, did you know?"

"Uh uh."

"So, Andrew's thoughts are in books. And I use my office – there's lots of cabinets, drawers, and cubbyholes – and I use photographs for my thoughts. They're like a mix between wizarding photographs, because they move, and a Pensieve, because you can play back memories."

"Are Andrew's thoughts pictures, too? Or are they text?" Draco asked after a moment of thought.

"Both, because books are both," Emmaline responded fondly.

"I'll give it a try, I guess. I want to be able to Occlude," Draco spoke earnestly, "but I'm afraid I'm just no good at it."

"You don't know that – not until you try anyway. So give it a _real_ try, okay?"

"Okay," Draco sighed. "I'll go think in my room, though."

"You'd better be thinking and not reading that book!" she called after him.

Severus slunk back into the shadows as Draco emerged from Emmaline's room. He watched the boy walk in an easy, lighthearted manner across the sitting room. It was a far cry from his preening strut or his stoop-shouldered trudge – two of the many masks Draco wore depending on company. Severus smiled slightly as he realized he had just witnessed the real Draco…

…now to deal with Emmaline. Severus stood in the doorframe and looked in at her. She was slumped on the bed, whose covers were in twisted clumps. He cleared his throat, and she looked up – her eyes wide like a caught deer.

"Andrew is concerned about you," he informed her. He searched her face for clues, but found none as she turned away.

"I need my pills," she said. As she fumbled in her luggage, he entered the room and approached her, though he left a good arms length between them. Clutching a translucent brown cylinder, she turned with hooded eyes to ask, "Would you conjure a glass of water, please?"

He nodded cautiously and then produced a cut crystal glass full of spring water.

"Thank you," she said demurely, taking it from his hands with more care than necessary.

While she swallowed the pills, Severus picked up the cylinder from the bed and read the label affixed to it. "_Paroxetine_. This is a Muggle drug?"

"Mmm hmm," she murmured, still sipping at the water. Hesitantly, she reached up and took the cylinder away from him and quickly stuffed it back into her luggage.

As she began straightening the bed covers, he asked, "It is supposed to help with your depression?"

This time she only nodded.  
"How long until it takes effect?"

Emmaline sighed softly, as if trying to be patient with a child that asked too many silly questions. "About 30 minutes," she finally replied.

"Does it work?" he asked bluntly.

She looked at him then, if only for a brief moment. "Mostly," she hedged. "I try not to take it too often – the body can become used to it." She moved to pass him in order to get to the other side of the bed, but he stopped her with one hand on her arm.

"I don't want to be the one that hurts you so that you have to take that medicine." He watched as a single tear slid out of her eye.

She wiped it away angrily before admitting, "It's going to happen. Even I don't know what sets me off sometimes. I just…" She took a deep breath, shuddering with repressed emotion. "I just end up crying – uncontrollably – sometimes." In a high, small voice, she gasped, "I wish I didn't!"

Something in him snapped or maybe it just came together, but Severus pulled her to him, enveloping her in a firm, comforting hug – no longer afraid to show affection to this woman who had bared all her secrets to him. He had treated her callously this morning, and now he had to deal with the results of his insensitivity. Andrew was right to call him out; he was responsible for her feelings now, too. The small part of him that balked at that responsibility was overwhelmed by the very large part of him that desperately wanted to be with her. No one could make him feel better – and no one could make him feel worse. With dawning understanding, he led her over to the now-made bed and made her sit on his lap. Her willingness to continue to allow him to comfort her was the one thing that reassured him that all was not lost. He could make it up to her.

He didn't know how long he had been holding her while rocking back and forth - she had long since stopped sniffling, and he suspected she was lightly dozing – when Andrew spoke from the doorway.

"Better?" He looked at his mom expectantly.

"I believe so," he responded. He met his son's eyes and the younger man nodded understandingly.

"Okay. I'm going to check on Draco then."

"Try not to disturb him too much. He needs the time to work on his Occlumency."

Andrew's eyebrow rose in a perfect imitation of his father. This time, Severus observed it for what it was – something that had been inherited.

"Your mother instructed him," Severus clarified. Andrew nodded shortly and left the doorway. After Severus heard the tapestry shut firmly, Emmaline stirred.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't want him to see me until I'd washed my face." She pulled back and it was apparent why she had concerns. Her skin was blotchy and creased from the seams on his robe. He nodded understandingly, unable to tear his eyes from her face. His hands clutched at her waist as he impulsively leaned forward to brush his lips against hers. Sighing, he leaned back saying, "Go wash, then." She actually smiled briefly – and somewhat alluringly – before getting up and leaving the room. Severus sat where he was, swearing a vow that he would make her smile like that more often.


	38. Are We Ready?

_**Unbidden Memories**_

_**by lalaluu**_

Author Note: _Standard Disclaimer Applies._ My beta is awesome because she tells me like it is. Her name is **cecelle**, and she writes beautifully. Check out her story _Mist and Vapor_ – it's complete (well, except for maybe one chapter) and another great Severus Snape story on this site. The next chapter is also in her hands; hopefully, I don't have to rework it very much, but who knows? Maybe she'll think Voldemort is too over the top – er, I won't spoil it for you…

_Chapter 37_

_Are We Ready?_

Emmaline gazed at her face in the mirror. Her skin was blotchy from all the crying she'd done that morning and chapped from the cold wash she'd just given it. She pulled her hair back from her forehead and peered further into the mirror. Shame and humiliation washed over her. She should have made the most of waking up next to Severus this morning. Unlike the morning they came back from the States with the Re'em, this time there had been ample time to laze about. The boys weren't especially early risers, and she supposed that recent events had tired them all so that they needed a good lie in. But…she had messed it up. Forgetting – even temporarily – where she was…who she was with… Unforgivable. She didn't blame Severus in the least for his grumpiness.

Sighing, she let go of her hair and looked away from the mirror. No matter how much or how many times others forgave her for her mistakes – her _choices_ – she couldn't forgive herself. Holding her hands up before her, Emmaline noted that they were shaking slightly. It was a side-effect of the medicine she took for depression. She didn't mind it so much, as it meant the drug was working. She dropped her hands and looked around the bathroom. After a long look at the deep tub, she decided she needed some time with only hot water and a bunch of bubbles for company.

* * *

_Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad…_

Andrew's thoughts ran in circles, or rather in a continuous, repetitive line from which he couldn't deviate. It was odd, decidedly odd, to confront one's professor and reprimand him for his actions. Even odder was when that professor was also his _dad_… How could someone you knew so little about be your parent?

Despite all the details of his mother's life prior to his birth that he hadn't known, he _knew_ his mom. Knew her likes and dislikes, knew her moods and how to handle them, knew sometimes without asking exactly what she was thinking. Professor Snape was certainly different from any other man he'd known, but he didn't know him. Well, he knew the professor had become a Death Eater, then had renounced, albeit quietly, that life, but he didn't know _why_. _And that's the crux of the matter, isn't it?_ he thought. _I don't know _why _he does the things he does – what motivates him – what drives him._

He barely noticed as Draco left the room, saying something about reading in the library. Instead, Andrew stared at the green canopy of his bed lost in his thoughts…

_Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, dad…_

* * *

There was a round little tower attached to part of the library. It was usually used by snogging couples as it was out of the way and had a cushioned window seat. During the winter holiday, it was available for the left-behind students to take advantage of. Draco sat there, glad he had put on a warm jumper, since the panes of glass that stretched up nearly the height of a grown man were not insulated. He stared off into the leaden gray sky, thinking of his favorite part of winter – dusk, when the air was a bit damp but very still. To sit quietly and watch his surroundings gradually fade into darkness – till you couldn't tell the gray tree bark from the surrounding gray world – gave him delicious shivers. He had snuck out of the manor on several occasions, avoiding his mother and her dramatics should she find out he was outside in the cold, to enjoy this sight. 

Now, he sat in the cavernous library and thought about where he might store his thoughts. He could see numerous shelves and thousands of books from his vantage point; , Draco experienced a fleeting admiration for Andrew's method of offensive Occlumency. However, that was not the way for him. He needed something with which he was much more familiar.

Hogwarts was out of the question. It was just where he went to school. The Quidditch pitch was stupid for obvious reasons – where would one hide one's thoughts? Under a blade of grass? And Malfoy Manor – Draco shuddered involuntarily. No, he didn't think he could control his emotions if he were to think of home. There were too many turbulent memories there for it to be a place he felt comfortable. Emmaline had mentioned that she stored her thoughts in her office; he imagined it was a place with which she was fairly intimate. A library, of course, was right up Andrew's alley. Draco knew that his friend had prowled the whole of Hogwarts' library, genuinely curious as to its contents.

But where was _he_ comfortable? Thinking of the N.E.W.T. potions laboratory where he had conducted research on the bats, Draco's thoughts drifted to his childhood and his first encounter with a potions laboratory. His paternal grandfather had not been a potions master but rather a dabbler at potions, preferring to hone his amateur skills with exotic and expensive ingredients. The man had kept a marvelous lab, one like no other. Ingredient cabinets set into the walls were made of English oak with a honey-colored stain. The drawers were lined with cedar, silver, or gold, as appropriate, so that the ingredients remained stable, and stasis spells were standard. There had been a matching oak desk with a huge mahogany leather chair behind it. The work table was a masterpiece of wrought iron legs with a marble top. The top was protected by layers of spells – spells that resisted corrosive and flammable substances, and stains . When he was little, before his grandfather died, it had been a strange paradise to Draco. He remembered fondly sitting in the big, leather chair while his grandfather demonstrated potions – usually ones that made funny noises, weird lights, or brilliant sparks – to entertain him. At the time, he had wanted to be just like his grandfather when he grew up.

Draco closed his eyes and began reconstructing the laboratory – item by item, inch by inch – as Emmaline had taught him. He needed to be able to recall the room in detail and at a moment's notice. Deep, steady breaths came from him as he explored the new repository in his mind.

* * *

When she emerged from her bath, Emmaline found Severus in her room, fingering the spell-resistant clothing. "It's been tested – both in the lab and in the field," she informed him. 

"Yes, I know," he quietly responded.

"You're worried about the boys."

He finally glanced at her. "Yes."

"Severus…" She paused until he turned to look fully at her. His gaze was not heated, as it had been many times over the past few days, but rather thoughtful and even a bit sad. Emmaline clasped her hands in front of her and drew a deep breath. "I've talked to the boys," she began to explain. "I've told them that I'm going, too."

At first, he just stared at her. Then his brow wrinkled. "You're _going_," he repeated, obviously dumb-founded.

Emmaline nodded.

"Don't be absurd." He turned back to the garments.

"They need me –"

"Hmph," Severus grunted. "They're nearly grown men. I think they have quite outgrown being mothered."

"Andrew maybe," she admitted, though she felt a small pain in her heart at doing so. "But Draco… Can you say that he has ever known what it's like to have someone take care of him?"

When Severus didn't answer, she pressed on. "I know he needs me. I can tell. And I'm going to stand for him."

Severus turned to look at her then with a piercing look. "You're going to stand for Draco and not your son."

"That's right." Gathering her courage, she said, "I had hoped that _you_ would stand for Andrew."

Severus opened his mouth to speak, but paused. "I am not sure that I should."  
"Why not? He has taken to you – even before he found out his paternity – and I've never known him to do so as quickly with any other male. It took him several years before he was comfortable with Kenneth."

"I'm not sure I can keep my feelings buried as it is," he hissed. "The Dark Lord will be looking for any weakness from those who stand for the boys. It would be better for Lucius to do it, though I know how you'd loathe that. It is _also_ the reason that you should _not be there!_"

Emmaline lifted her chin. "You need to trust me, Severus. I am standing for Draco and I need you to stand for Andrew. It'll never work otherwise."

"What are you planning?" he asked, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Stalking over to glare down at her, he growled, "The Dark Lord will punish us all if he even _imagines_ that he is being deceived. I will not let you endanger us all! This is not the States, Emmaline. Your friends are not available to come to our rescue! We are on our own," he discouraged.

"And that is precisely why you need to trust me," she returned, determination shining in her eyes.

They continued to glare at each other until he said, "Fine. If the potion works, we will at least not have to worry about the Cruciatus curse. But – if it doesn't, we may not all make it back alive."

"We know that, Dad," Andrew interjected from the doorway. "We're doing this for Draco – just like you are – because he shouldn't go through this alone. And before you tell me that his father will be there – the man terrifies him, and I don't blame him for being scared."

"Where is Draco?" Emmaline asked, peering anxiously past Andrew. "He mustn't know about Severus!"

Andrew smiled crookedly. "Don't worry. He's still in the library."

"How much did you overhear?" Severus asked, pained that Andrew was privy to yet another argument between the adults.

"Enough." Andrew sighed as his parents just stared at him. "Well, your raised voices drew me in here, so…when did you start shouting?" As his dad stalked past him and out the door, Andrew made a face.

"You shouldn't bait him," Emmaline said disapprovingly.

"Neither should you, then."

"Andrew…"

"Hey, don't whine to me. I'm dealing with a lot, too." He strolled over to still his mom's hands, which were rearranging the gear. "Here, sit down. I know you're having a hard time right now, Mom. And…well, it can't be easy for you to, you know, deal with all that you've found out." Andrew paused before admitting, "I'm kinda having a hard time assimilating it myself."

Emmaline sighed as she wrapped her arms around her son and pulled him tight to her. "We'll get through it together, sweetheart. We'll figure it out together." Her eyes watered as she stared into the distance. "All of us." She smiled warmly at Andrew as she released him from the hug. He smiled back at first, but then his expression turned serious.

"But you're sure you can do this tonight, right?" he asked worriedly.

"Yes! I can be focused if I know I'm helping Draco. I have to do this! I can't let either of you take the Mark!"

"I know," Andrew sighed as he pulled his mom into a hug. "I know."

Severus, unseen, stepped back from the doorway.

* * *

They stood in a line in Severus' parlor. Each had donned a spell-resistant undersuit, among other protective gear. Now they waited to take a dose of the _Laxo Excrucio_ potion. Severus finished reading over the weathered and aging potion instructions that Andrew had originally brought with him to Hogwarts. He eyed the others, who were waiting stoically, eagerly, and apprehensively. "One ounce of potion for twenty pounds of body weight," he finally pronounced. 

Andrew stepped forward to perform a weight-measurement charm as Draco knelt at the low table to pour out the potion into dosing cups. "Nine…Seven…Draco, you're six…And seven for me," he finished as the numerals from his charm faded away.

Draco passed out the cups, then stood, using both hands to steady his cup. Emmaline smiled at him and rubbed his shoulder soothingly.

Andrew managed to force out the words, "Bottoms up," before downing his dose. He wrinkled his nose a little at the taste but managed to down all of it easily. Draco followed without a word, but Emmaline looked at Severus before steadily drinking hers. Severus watched the others to see if they developed an allergic reaction – though nothing in the brew should elicit one, except maybe the Re'em blood, which they knew very little about. After five minutes, when Draco had commenced pacing the length of the room and Andrew had finally taken a seat to watch him, Severus quickly drank his share.

"Do we need to go over the ritual again?" he asked.

"They'll invite us in," Draco recounted.

"But you'll speak first," Andrew reminded.

"Do not speak unless you're spoken to," Severus ordered, though it didn't sound as stern as he normally could be.

Emmaline noticed this and touched his arm. "We're all ready. Let's go."

Severus set his jaw, nodded, and then stalked out of the room. The other three followed silently.


End file.
